Getting through the weekends...

Im patting myself on the back for being so "disciplined" Been staying at home and doing homework...but to honest...maybe its because I have no other place to go..or dont feel like going anywhere. With Sonal back in India, Ive sorta lost company to do "hang out" Not that I dnt have local friends..just that..I dont know...hmmm

Anyway in the midst of doing Lighting assignment and blasting soundtrack for The Last Samurai, Im blogging.

Part of me really wants to put everything down and take a breather and try to write a song...but I cant bring myself to...maybe coz Im not in a glorious mood to write happy songs?

Its also raining! Dang! Laundry isnt drying quickly!

So Ive decided to do something about my singing while Im here. Im gonna go for some singing classes. Just to see how things go. And get my voice analysed... Im gonna stick to dance as well. And in the middle of all that madness, keep reading up on audio engineering.

I consulted Felix during lunch last week and had a good chat with him. Yes I want to get involved and volunteer for audio related stuff...knowing fairwell that it could hurt my knees...or back. I want to because its the only way into the world of audio..in my opinion...not that I had the luxury of learning audio engineering unlike those around me whom I know. So many of them...Felix, Wandi, Rush, Stephen, Ian, Peiyan, Vera, Wendy etc etc etc....

And part of me is wondering how a mere female can succeed in this industry... But maybe just maybe it will work out! Maybe...

I really hope so...

God Bless

Bad dream again...

Dreamt of something was impossible. Yet it was so good and despite it being a dream, if it was possible in real life, Id be very happy. While dreaming, my heart was hopeful while I dreamt.
But waking up and knowing its not possible... made me abit dissappointed...

Oh Well...

Some things just cant work, no matter how I might want it to. Its always a case of the heart vs the mind. Ive let my heart take the wheel tooo many times that my mind sometimes automatically takes the back seat.

Anyway this wont get me down. Im more determined to make things work for myself.

Many goals to achieve and Im worried I might lose sight of them slowly but Im gonna keep trying not to let myself get distracted! :) My deadline is 2 years....

God Bless

2nd week in Sydney as a Yr2...

This year is seemingly very scary but Im gonna hold on to God. He will give me strength and encouragement, peace and favour.

Got my Mac Book Pro today. :) Not sure how I will take to it but I know that for me to get used to programs, I have to adapt.

Been putting a hold on dance classes so far. will continue next week. :) But another part of me feels like doing singign classes too...very expensive man! But after much thinking...this is the best time to do so because I dont have family and friends to answer to or meet. This is the only MY time that I can play with.

That said, I miss communicating with people that I love....

I know that by the time I get back to SG, I will need to have become trained in alot of things... So that I can hop straight into things with skill and experience.

Also...Im gonna need to learn how to cycle in SG...

Hence I now realize how much I need to learn..or want to learn! :/ But God will bring me true. :)

God Bless!

dreams and goals...

Ive been catching up w one of my brothers and chatting to him about dreams and goals etc. After speaking to him about his, Ive sorta started thinking about mine too. In fact, being in SG and getting a chance to do things that I love..ie: singing, hosting, etc...I felt like it was possible for me to get closer to my goal..although time always choses to remind me that its catching up w me...

Being back in SYD, while I know my orientation is different, I do know that some way or another I can still achieve certain dreams..just havnt gotten my head around it...

I know what I love to do or want to know how to do..
- dance
- sing
- songwrite
- host

Dont know whether being in Sydney will help me with any of these... maybe a new env for me to write songs? Maybe a place to sing? maybe an event to host? All i know is I can go learn dance...thats one thing..

Need to give this mroe thought..hmmm

God Bless

Only because I know you wont know who Im refering to...

Sucks to be missing you. Because I know it will never be possible. I dont even know its just me liking you or whether there is anything mutual going on. And while part of me hopes that there is mutual attraction....it would hurt even more knowing I cant and I wont let it go any further.
Whatever happens, you have a place in my heart. I dont know why and I cant understand it either...but you do. Maybe u just mananged to break down the walls that I put up since long ago...
Whatever it is, Im grateful for this friendship or bond that we have. I call you a brother and u call me a sister and that is good by me. :) Coz that is as much I would ever let happen. Trust me on this.
No matter what happens, whether u end up finding the girl of your dreams and you reach your dreams, I will be there to be happy for you. :)

I guess I can say all this now...but no one really knows what they will feel in months and years to come. Maybe these feelings will wear off in months to come and I will more peace of mind... Maybe I will find someone in due time who will end all the feelings of every other person Ive loved and liked.
I hope so...

Till then, I will write my songs...I will write my songs of emotions, depressions and hopefully after emptying out those emotions, I can finally move on to happier tunes...

God Bless