I starting to learn 1 lesson...."if only"s dont help.
We go through like doing things too late, to soon, we make choices on what to do or not to do and how to do it etc..and when something goes wrong...the 2 words apprear.."if only....."
If only the sky was blue, the grass would be green too
If only I told you what to do, we'd have less problems to go through
If only Id expected teh unexpecting expectations..Id expect more from you
If only Id not not done what I did or didnt do.
Sian.....pissed...sian sian sian..not gonna like tomorrow...
God Bless
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
faith battle again...
Im stuck in a situation where I feel like I cant do single thing but wait and its frustrating....
I could really kick myself for the lack of meticulousness which has caused so much problem. Im struggling so hard not to really strangle my students or even scream at them or scold them. Im trying sooo hard!
At the same time..I also feel like Peter who is looking at the waves as he tries to walk on water...or like Noah who is tumbling around in the ark and seeing the thunder and rain and possibly wondering if the rain might seep through or break the ark...maybe?
The faith battle now revolves around me trying to have faith in the Nargis issue being solved by friday but why do I keep feeling like Im fighting a losing battle and Im fighting alone?
Im not ready to admit defeat but Im trying hard to stay calm and focus on Jesus....yet in my head..a thosand voices keep telling me "what if", "you should have" and "why dont you" and "its all your fault" or "you need to push them"
Im tired....
Got a debriefing this sat...hope my frustration ends by then...if not I might say things that might hurt....if i do...I'll regret...
Jesus, give me strength to believe that my battles are won and the devil is only trying to hide the truth from my eyes...and distract me from what is already done
God Bless
I could really kick myself for the lack of meticulousness which has caused so much problem. Im struggling so hard not to really strangle my students or even scream at them or scold them. Im trying sooo hard!
At the same time..I also feel like Peter who is looking at the waves as he tries to walk on water...or like Noah who is tumbling around in the ark and seeing the thunder and rain and possibly wondering if the rain might seep through or break the ark...maybe?
The faith battle now revolves around me trying to have faith in the Nargis issue being solved by friday but why do I keep feeling like Im fighting a losing battle and Im fighting alone?
Im not ready to admit defeat but Im trying hard to stay calm and focus on Jesus....yet in my head..a thosand voices keep telling me "what if", "you should have" and "why dont you" and "its all your fault" or "you need to push them"
Im tired....
Got a debriefing this sat...hope my frustration ends by then...if not I might say things that might hurt....if i do...I'll regret...
Jesus, give me strength to believe that my battles are won and the devil is only trying to hide the truth from my eyes...and distract me from what is already done
God Bless
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Fight your fears! Swim!
Had my 1st swim class last thur! Normally Id be abit kancheong and hesitant when it comes down to trying new stuff but so far I havnt backed out.
Was sooo nervous on thur! Like how are allt he other waterbabies gonna see me (20+ tall broad shouldered woman trying to learn how to swim from a small pint-size pixie) Hows my instructor gonna see me? Alas the 1st class was cool!
Yes Im still ont he shallow end but Im trying! can float abit...cant kick to get anywhere though...
Cant wait for my next class! This thur! Everyone Ive told (abt my fear of water int he past) has asked me if i shower...OF COURSE LAH DAMMIT! That was last time! Everyone Ive told abt me taking swimming lessons...hae replied with a common reply," u cant swim!?!"
My aim of swimming still seems abit far because I still dont think i can survive in the deep end...as my sis said...no buoyancy..Im inclined to think teh same of myself at times but I'll persist! I'll persist so that I can enjoy the plays of the sea and and seemingly clean body of water at least.
1 more step for Ning!
Did I also mention swimming is also a full body workout?
My colleagues have also gone into a frenzy of doing sports..not to mention the new member into the family..Jacob....We're gonna do rock climbing, rollerblading, swimming, abseiling..etc! Wohoo!
I feel sportier! Look out Tao Li! Look out Phelps! Muahahah
God Bless
Was sooo nervous on thur! Like how are allt he other waterbabies gonna see me (20+ tall broad shouldered woman trying to learn how to swim from a small pint-size pixie) Hows my instructor gonna see me? Alas the 1st class was cool!
Yes Im still ont he shallow end but Im trying! can float abit...cant kick to get anywhere though...
Cant wait for my next class! This thur! Everyone Ive told (abt my fear of water int he past) has asked me if i shower...OF COURSE LAH DAMMIT! That was last time! Everyone Ive told abt me taking swimming lessons...hae replied with a common reply," u cant swim!?!"
My aim of swimming still seems abit far because I still dont think i can survive in the deep end...as my sis said...no buoyancy..Im inclined to think teh same of myself at times but I'll persist! I'll persist so that I can enjoy the plays of the sea and and seemingly clean body of water at least.
1 more step for Ning!
Did I also mention swimming is also a full body workout?
My colleagues have also gone into a frenzy of doing sports..not to mention the new member into the family..Jacob....We're gonna do rock climbing, rollerblading, swimming, abseiling..etc! Wohoo!
I feel sportier! Look out Tao Li! Look out Phelps! Muahahah
God Bless
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Stentorian is 1 of my current favs
Well if you read my recent blog entry..you'd know that Ive got this thing about Stentorian. I was a critic during the performance but they're good, better than the rest..Them and SPONge are good. the best are the lead vocals. They are good looking, stage presence and all. :) drool...
K well that was abit of me that seldom appears..hehe the same bit that i downright deny but as men look at women..I look at men sometimes...not in an overzealous way yah..God taught me control and censorship hahaha
Yep...sooooo...emmm...right back to the regular me :P
I think for the last week, I had a bout of reminiscing..not good in this case because I was thinking abt my past relationship..esp when you're stuck in a trainload of people and you've stuck in a certain direction..little space to lift up a book to read and forced to face a nice looking couple. Hahha They were..sweet..challenging each other with staring matches of which the guy happily gazed at the girl to eternity...Haha those eyes meant something. They were super happy in each others company lah! hahaha
See! its more or less what makes me think back on how that kind of sweetness feels like. but no worries dudes! I havnt suffered a recurrance since christmas hahaha doesnt mean I dont hope for someone...just means i dont hope for the same guy.. :P He's still my best bro.. :)
As for who will be the future..I have no freaking idea but when it comes, it comes..that one thing Im willing to wait and see. I believe my God provides!
Itching to write songs again..thanks to Stentorian and SPONGE hahah
Had abit of abseiling today. Damn fun! Wohooo! So gonna love travelling!
God Bless!
K well that was abit of me that seldom appears..hehe the same bit that i downright deny but as men look at women..I look at men sometimes...not in an overzealous way yah..God taught me control and censorship hahaha
Yep...sooooo...emmm...right back to the regular me :P
I think for the last week, I had a bout of reminiscing..not good in this case because I was thinking abt my past relationship..esp when you're stuck in a trainload of people and you've stuck in a certain direction..little space to lift up a book to read and forced to face a nice looking couple. Hahha They were..sweet..challenging each other with staring matches of which the guy happily gazed at the girl to eternity...Haha those eyes meant something. They were super happy in each others company lah! hahaha
See! its more or less what makes me think back on how that kind of sweetness feels like. but no worries dudes! I havnt suffered a recurrance since christmas hahaha doesnt mean I dont hope for someone...just means i dont hope for the same guy.. :P He's still my best bro.. :)
As for who will be the future..I have no freaking idea but when it comes, it comes..that one thing Im willing to wait and see. I believe my God provides!
Itching to write songs again..thanks to Stentorian and SPONGE hahah
Had abit of abseiling today. Damn fun! Wohooo! So gonna love travelling!
God Bless!
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