I wrote this for the 3 lives I will no longer have the pleasure of sharing from now on...
Im risking copyright dangers to put this on..I do plan to convert this into a song..so Im hoping nobody is asshole enough to take this as their own...coz this means alot to me.
In Jesus Arms
The curtains are down and reality kicks in
To say you;re gone too soon makes my tears swell up again
Every memory of you brings you alive in my heart
So while I cry for the loss of you,
I know for sure we'd never really part
Its only time before I'll see you again
I hope my memories hold up until the end
As far as I can remember, I'll write them down to read
And for others to read after us and learn of who you are to me
I won't know how heaven is till I'm there
But I hope that while we miss you here,
that where you are, you're happy beyond compare
You'll be missing out on everything else that happens as time passes
But I'm sure you'll watch over us from within Jesus's arms.
Its hard to get used to you not physically here
Your loving antics and hearty laughs
It takes alot of energy to accept that you're gone
I know that you're better off within the pearly gates
The aches and pains you suffered on earth would all have dissappeared
I imagine you ascending up, intot he warm bright lights
Touring about heaven with Jesus by your side
Life wasn't just roses & daffodils for you
You had your share of griefs and troubles to go through
I love you and I miss you, really wish you hadnt gone
But knowing you'd be happier....
I'm glad you're now in Jesus's arms.
~end~
Bye Edwin, Bye Ma Ma & Bye Mah Mah
God Bless
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
I've lost my other granny....
Im officially left with no more grandmothers....my maternal granny died this morning.
In 2 months flat, i've lost 2 grannies and 1 friend. I pray for my granfather's health because he would be the most devastated in this hour...in these few days...till the casket goes the flames....
Why?
How can I not cry? How can I not feel pain? How can I not be upset? How can I not want to go to God and ask Him why? How? Why?
I can only blame Satan...for taking away so many pple in my life....yet I fear the life ahead when I think about how slowly but surely, Satan will take people I love away.... Its times like these that I wished I wasnt born. Or maybe that I didnt have hte consciousness to care or feel love...
Some say that u wont have lived if u havnt felt love...Id say,,,u wudnt feel pain if you didnt care/love someone....So when u live....u feel pain...its in the contract..
the song I vowed to write...will now be a tribute to all 3 of them...
Deep inside i cant help feel that its something I did wrong....or its a trial for me...
God Bless
In 2 months flat, i've lost 2 grannies and 1 friend. I pray for my granfather's health because he would be the most devastated in this hour...in these few days...till the casket goes the flames....
Why?
How can I not cry? How can I not feel pain? How can I not be upset? How can I not want to go to God and ask Him why? How? Why?
I can only blame Satan...for taking away so many pple in my life....yet I fear the life ahead when I think about how slowly but surely, Satan will take people I love away.... Its times like these that I wished I wasnt born. Or maybe that I didnt have hte consciousness to care or feel love...
Some say that u wont have lived if u havnt felt love...Id say,,,u wudnt feel pain if you didnt care/love someone....So when u live....u feel pain...its in the contract..
the song I vowed to write...will now be a tribute to all 3 of them...
Deep inside i cant help feel that its something I did wrong....or its a trial for me...
God Bless
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Neetz Wedding and Edwin's Funeral
It's a first for me. While I always said that to everything here is a first time, I don't eever want this to happen and Im so not looking at doing it a 2nd time.
Today I celebrate a union of lives and death in a single day... evidently the happy must come 1st before the sad...so I choose to go to the wedding 1st....
I flipped opent he paper today and I saw that out of all those in the obituaries, 2 of them are guys below 26yrs of age. And out of the 2, Edwin's photo stares out at me. He has a twin sister....
I can imagine how it is as a twin, to lose a twin brother would be like losing half of you. the person that grew up with you literally, shared the womb, kicked you around in the womb for a few months, wore matching clothes with you, shared the same birthday cake as you, etc
Even as us friends cry for a live lost, the twin...would feel worse....
And as I type this but I glance back at the photo of edwin ont he papers....my heart breaks again...
I also brought back tot he time my granny died. I didnt read the papers nor did I want to see the body. And like my granny...I dont think I can bring myself to see Edwin in the coffin....
My ultimate consolation is that he is in heaven...and my granny too....
We lost a very talented down to earth, humourous, kind and confident guy.....
As quoted on the obituaries..
Edwin, your cheerfulness will be dearly missed and fondly remembered by all of us.
____
I now am forced to look at life in a clearer perspective. What have any of us been living for in our lifetime. What are we meant to do in our lives?
While some bicker over the simplest things....do they not see that the little things are not worth quarrelling over when you should be focusing on the bigger picture....
God Bless
Today I celebrate a union of lives and death in a single day... evidently the happy must come 1st before the sad...so I choose to go to the wedding 1st....
I flipped opent he paper today and I saw that out of all those in the obituaries, 2 of them are guys below 26yrs of age. And out of the 2, Edwin's photo stares out at me. He has a twin sister....
I can imagine how it is as a twin, to lose a twin brother would be like losing half of you. the person that grew up with you literally, shared the womb, kicked you around in the womb for a few months, wore matching clothes with you, shared the same birthday cake as you, etc
Even as us friends cry for a live lost, the twin...would feel worse....
And as I type this but I glance back at the photo of edwin ont he papers....my heart breaks again...
I also brought back tot he time my granny died. I didnt read the papers nor did I want to see the body. And like my granny...I dont think I can bring myself to see Edwin in the coffin....
My ultimate consolation is that he is in heaven...and my granny too....
We lost a very talented down to earth, humourous, kind and confident guy.....
As quoted on the obituaries..
Edwin, your cheerfulness will be dearly missed and fondly remembered by all of us.
____
I now am forced to look at life in a clearer perspective. What have any of us been living for in our lifetime. What are we meant to do in our lives?
While some bicker over the simplest things....do they not see that the little things are not worth quarrelling over when you should be focusing on the bigger picture....
God Bless
Friday, July 10, 2009
Another one bites the dust...Goodbye Riddler
I got a call this morning before my alarm went off and the usual me, would be very very pissed because it steals off the valuable minutes left before my actual waking up time...
I cancelled hte call thinking its a last minute call for admin help from my student..hoping to explain later in the day that I cancelled her call because I thought it was the alarm.
But when the 2nd call came, I picked it up anyway...
It's a call I would never wanna (in my lifetime) pickup. 1 of my students/friends died.
I dont know how or why but this particular person is so easy to talk to that we soemhow became friends more than student and officer and every moment talking to him was a very interesting one. I can even imagine bumping into him on wednesday during lunchshow. His happy go lucky yet mature outlook in life. And the more I think about this..and how such a nice guy he was....I tear...
I dont know about everyone else but a death alwasy brings you to askt he yourself if your life has been a life worth living so far. Have you lived life fruitfully? Fruitfully being an objective term. If I were to die now...before I die and get a chance to see my life..would I be satisfied with my life? I know I'm not but I am glad I have God with me.
I am also glad that this student is a christian.
It is a life lost too fast but a life that all of us who know him, would remember. The only pity..is that I never got to know him long enough to remember him well enough. even though the emotions I feel at this death..make it seem like Ive known him for a long time.
And even now..all of us, still expect him to call us and say that he was just pulling a prank...
Edwin, its hard to think that you're gone. I value the time shared with you however short it was.
You were amazingly mature, amazingly kind hearted and I saw you as a friend more than a student. I loved your wit and your candid thoughts and I thank you for all you've done for TC.
We had planned to convince you back to be our Riddler because Ethan thought only you would be able to play it..You're love for theatre will live in the students hearts and mine. And as long as we have a heart for drama, it will stay ablazed and stronger by your love for it as well.
Say Hi to my grandma for me..she'll show you around heaven.
We love you edwin....
God Bless
I cancelled hte call thinking its a last minute call for admin help from my student..hoping to explain later in the day that I cancelled her call because I thought it was the alarm.
But when the 2nd call came, I picked it up anyway...
It's a call I would never wanna (in my lifetime) pickup. 1 of my students/friends died.
I dont know how or why but this particular person is so easy to talk to that we soemhow became friends more than student and officer and every moment talking to him was a very interesting one. I can even imagine bumping into him on wednesday during lunchshow. His happy go lucky yet mature outlook in life. And the more I think about this..and how such a nice guy he was....I tear...
I dont know about everyone else but a death alwasy brings you to askt he yourself if your life has been a life worth living so far. Have you lived life fruitfully? Fruitfully being an objective term. If I were to die now...before I die and get a chance to see my life..would I be satisfied with my life? I know I'm not but I am glad I have God with me.
I am also glad that this student is a christian.
It is a life lost too fast but a life that all of us who know him, would remember. The only pity..is that I never got to know him long enough to remember him well enough. even though the emotions I feel at this death..make it seem like Ive known him for a long time.
And even now..all of us, still expect him to call us and say that he was just pulling a prank...
Edwin, its hard to think that you're gone. I value the time shared with you however short it was.
You were amazingly mature, amazingly kind hearted and I saw you as a friend more than a student. I loved your wit and your candid thoughts and I thank you for all you've done for TC.
We had planned to convince you back to be our Riddler because Ethan thought only you would be able to play it..You're love for theatre will live in the students hearts and mine. And as long as we have a heart for drama, it will stay ablazed and stronger by your love for it as well.
Say Hi to my grandma for me..she'll show you around heaven.
We love you edwin....
God Bless
Friday, July 03, 2009
PG rating
So for the past few days, Ive been raving about Transformers 2. Well maybe the storyline isnt fantastic but the humour is excellent. Bumblebee aka B, crying, the big nasty "piece me up" monstor's resounding balls, the female decepticon's long tatilbone and long tongue and the humping robodog/toy truck. If its wasnt a moment of humour, it would be a moment of action.
It was heartwrenching to see Prime die but sooo cool to see the robo jaguar's spine being stripped clean of "flesh" by B. Or Prime putting his fist through the Fallen! Man!
Dont forget the ancient decepticon who changed sides....
This time round, there was more robotic gore and since no red flesh and blood or innards falling out was displayed, it didnt really disgust me. Maybe thats why it was still counted as PG rating. But Ive got a colleague who changed his mind about letting his kids watch because of that. He doesnt want his kids to grow up like us hahahah <*seeing bumblebee pull the spin out of the jaguar*...COOL SHIT!!!! WISH I COULD DO THAT!!> damn...bad! bad! bad!
And speaking of PG rating...i realize a bunch of my students do read my blog...hmmm does this mean I have to watch what i say? Damn! emm..no i meant...Donuts!! Donuts and Fish Fingers!!!
And now that Im getting a tummyache because of the BIG Dinner I had, Donuts & Fish Fingers! Nature big bro is calling me and I dont think I can afford a miss call!
Amazingly enough..a ridiculous point system that i gave to the comperes has become a fun game! Hmmm not good news if I was actually trying to prove a serious point but entertaining to use for reasons otherwise.
And now that the date is decided, next week will be an emotionally grueling week..I want to believe that my God will keep me in the favour of others....
It was heartwrenching to see Prime die but sooo cool to see the robo jaguar's spine being stripped clean of "flesh" by B. Or Prime putting his fist through the Fallen! Man!
Dont forget the ancient decepticon who changed sides....
This time round, there was more robotic gore and since no red flesh and blood or innards falling out was displayed, it didnt really disgust me. Maybe thats why it was still counted as PG rating. But Ive got a colleague who changed his mind about letting his kids watch because of that. He doesnt want his kids to grow up like us hahahah <*seeing bumblebee pull the spin out of the jaguar*...COOL SHIT!!!! WISH I COULD DO THAT!!> damn...bad! bad! bad!
And speaking of PG rating...i realize a bunch of my students do read my blog...hmmm does this mean I have to watch what i say? Damn! emm..no i meant...Donuts!! Donuts and Fish Fingers!!!
And now that Im getting a tummyache because of the BIG Dinner I had, Donuts & Fish Fingers! Nature big bro is calling me and I dont think I can afford a miss call!
Amazingly enough..a ridiculous point system that i gave to the comperes has become a fun game! Hmmm not good news if I was actually trying to prove a serious point but entertaining to use for reasons otherwise.
And now that the date is decided, next week will be an emotionally grueling week..I want to believe that my God will keep me in the favour of others....
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