Friday, July 24, 2009

BLOODY SWINE FLU!!! CAUSE SO MUCH TROUBLE

Aside from 3 pple dying from Swine flu, id like to spend some time to curse the bloody flu that is causing me so much problems.

For 1 thing, Ive got 5 students down because they're quarantined. No its not cause they're sick but cause they're family or friend is sick. So out of my full 20+ strong club..Ive got 5 down. WAH LAO!

Im starting to get stressed again..Poly Forum is tomorrow, concert is tomorrow, bar & billard is tomorrow (but now cant go)...Maung Htun's wedding is sunday (but cant go now), choir is sunday and Snow's birthday is sunday....Another week end burnt

Next sun is Post Burmese New Year Celebration, Day before was lunchshow@moberly and Chinese Cultural Event...amongst allt eh other club meetings and trainings we had...
Next mon is presidents charity thank you lunch, next wed is poly 50 and next next wed is NDOC!!!

Im gonna cry lah! wah lao!


God Bless

Friday, July 17, 2009

the truth of the matter is..our family isnt perfect.

In my dad's family...there are issues between siblings. I dont know if its small petty squabbles or big unforgiving ones but there is. Even at the wake.

For my mum's side family, at my granny's wake..same. Only Im hoping they're more forgiving..

You'd think that when someone has passed away, that hte family would be more condoing of each toher but maybe when emotions are high, you just cant take the usual nonsense your siblng gives you on a normal basis.

Maybe thats even how it is in a big ass family. It hit me one day that when my dad or mum die..that the number of people who come down would be alot lesser. I choose to think that my parents have their own friends and not just colleagues. And so when they pass away, they'd have friends who come and see them. And not just the friends of my sister and I...

I know Im quite morbid now but Ive only started. And its not that Im depressed. Im perfectly fine. Im only thinking of what might happen in the future. Or rather...what will happen eventually.

Of course when everybody's emotions are high...we just have a higher tendency of being offended by others....

I know my family has an issue with appreciating each other and saying thank you and giving hugs etc...And this lack has built up into every other prob we have that we now have 4 housemates. Each for his own concerns...

Anyway, my granny's wake was 5 days long. every day my grandpa cried, every day my aunties cried. I was to write and say the eulogy but tat only led me to realize how much I didnt know about her. I tried hard not to cry at the podium but at the last word I couldnt say it..tears had broken through.

While walking to the viewing gallery at Mandai, my dad did the worst thing and that was to comment that my pronunciation needed improvement. WTH! U think its compereing ah!!!
I cant say, " thanks! I'll try that again later." At an emotionally charged moment when Im internally grieving for my graandma and you come and tell em that my pronunciation was bad!
Thats the last gift I can give her and you tell me that my last gift was good enough?!!?
If its not good, dont tell me! What kind of a twisted sense of humour is that?!?!

I also wanted to kill the 3 small birds that were in my aunties place. my sis and I were on night duty and the lsat i needed after the shift..was a noisy house to keep me up. I slept in the hall but I cudnt get enough sleep because the bloody birds were making alot of noise! I could kill them lah!

In fact from my observations, my aunties are like the birds..noisy and never listening to each other. Abit like how my family is right now...

SIGH,,,,

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Warped theory I know but I'd like to think of it as so

So it seems my granny is a catholic. Im fine so long as something brings her to heaven.

My main concern now is for my grandpa who looks so frail and it really breaks my heart to see him cry....

I must say that the relationship between him and my granny is the most impressive Ive ever seen in my lifetime... If ever I feel motivated that there is something in love...its because I see them...I see how long they've been together...how they still care for each other and how their love has moulded my aunties and uncle intot he people they are today...and the vast diff between this side oft he family and the other.

Supposed to think up a eulogy and deliver it at Mandai...dont know whether Id cry or Id be strong...dont even know what to say...

God Bless

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I love you and miss you...

I wrote this for the 3 lives I will no longer have the pleasure of sharing from now on...
Im risking copyright dangers to put this on..I do plan to convert this into a song..so Im hoping nobody is asshole enough to take this as their own...coz this means alot to me.

In Jesus Arms

The curtains are down and reality kicks in
To say you;re gone too soon makes my tears swell up again
Every memory of you brings you alive in my heart
So while I cry for the loss of you,
I know for sure we'd never really part

Its only time before I'll see you again
I hope my memories hold up until the end
As far as I can remember, I'll write them down to read
And for others to read after us and learn of who you are to me

I won't know how heaven is till I'm there
But I hope that while we miss you here,
that where you are, you're happy beyond compare
You'll be missing out on everything else that happens as time passes
But I'm sure you'll watch over us from within Jesus's arms.

Its hard to get used to you not physically here
Your loving antics and hearty laughs
It takes alot of energy to accept that you're gone

I know that you're better off within the pearly gates
The aches and pains you suffered on earth would all have dissappeared
I imagine you ascending up, intot he warm bright lights
Touring about heaven with Jesus by your side

Life wasn't just roses & daffodils for you
You had your share of griefs and troubles to go through
I love you and I miss you, really wish you hadnt gone
But knowing you'd be happier....
I'm glad you're now in Jesus's arms.

~end~

Bye Edwin, Bye Ma Ma & Bye Mah Mah


God Bless

Monday, July 13, 2009

I've lost my other granny....

Im officially left with no more grandmothers....my maternal granny died this morning.

In 2 months flat, i've lost 2 grannies and 1 friend. I pray for my granfather's health because he would be the most devastated in this hour...in these few days...till the casket goes the flames....

Why?

How can I not cry? How can I not feel pain? How can I not be upset? How can I not want to go to God and ask Him why? How? Why?

I can only blame Satan...for taking away so many pple in my life....yet I fear the life ahead when I think about how slowly but surely, Satan will take people I love away.... Its times like these that I wished I wasnt born. Or maybe that I didnt have hte consciousness to care or feel love...

Some say that u wont have lived if u havnt felt love...Id say,,,u wudnt feel pain if you didnt care/love someone....So when u live....u feel pain...its in the contract..

the song I vowed to write...will now be a tribute to all 3 of them...

Deep inside i cant help feel that its something I did wrong....or its a trial for me...

God Bless

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Neetz Wedding and Edwin's Funeral

It's a first for me. While I always said that to everything here is a first time, I don't eever want this to happen and Im so not looking at doing it a 2nd time.

Today I celebrate a union of lives and death in a single day... evidently the happy must come 1st before the sad...so I choose to go to the wedding 1st....

I flipped opent he paper today and I saw that out of all those in the obituaries, 2 of them are guys below 26yrs of age. And out of the 2, Edwin's photo stares out at me. He has a twin sister....
I can imagine how it is as a twin, to lose a twin brother would be like losing half of you. the person that grew up with you literally, shared the womb, kicked you around in the womb for a few months, wore matching clothes with you, shared the same birthday cake as you, etc
Even as us friends cry for a live lost, the twin...would feel worse....

And as I type this but I glance back at the photo of edwin ont he papers....my heart breaks again...

I also brought back tot he time my granny died. I didnt read the papers nor did I want to see the body. And like my granny...I dont think I can bring myself to see Edwin in the coffin....

My ultimate consolation is that he is in heaven...and my granny too....

We lost a very talented down to earth, humourous, kind and confident guy.....

As quoted on the obituaries..
Edwin, your cheerfulness will be dearly missed and fondly remembered by all of us.

____

I now am forced to look at life in a clearer perspective. What have any of us been living for in our lifetime. What are we meant to do in our lives?

While some bicker over the simplest things....do they not see that the little things are not worth quarrelling over when you should be focusing on the bigger picture....


God Bless

Friday, July 10, 2009

Another one bites the dust...Goodbye Riddler

I got a call this morning before my alarm went off and the usual me, would be very very pissed because it steals off the valuable minutes left before my actual waking up time...

I cancelled hte call thinking its a last minute call for admin help from my student..hoping to explain later in the day that I cancelled her call because I thought it was the alarm.

But when the 2nd call came, I picked it up anyway...


It's a call I would never wanna (in my lifetime) pickup. 1 of my students/friends died.

I dont know how or why but this particular person is so easy to talk to that we soemhow became friends more than student and officer and every moment talking to him was a very interesting one. I can even imagine bumping into him on wednesday during lunchshow. His happy go lucky yet mature outlook in life. And the more I think about this..and how such a nice guy he was....I tear...

I dont know about everyone else but a death alwasy brings you to askt he yourself if your life has been a life worth living so far. Have you lived life fruitfully? Fruitfully being an objective term. If I were to die now...before I die and get a chance to see my life..would I be satisfied with my life? I know I'm not but I am glad I have God with me.

I am also glad that this student is a christian.

It is a life lost too fast but a life that all of us who know him, would remember. The only pity..is that I never got to know him long enough to remember him well enough. even though the emotions I feel at this death..make it seem like Ive known him for a long time.

And even now..all of us, still expect him to call us and say that he was just pulling a prank...

Edwin, its hard to think that you're gone. I value the time shared with you however short it was.
You were amazingly mature, amazingly kind hearted and I saw you as a friend more than a student. I loved your wit and your candid thoughts and I thank you for all you've done for TC.
We had planned to convince you back to be our Riddler because Ethan thought only you would be able to play it..You're love for theatre will live in the students hearts and mine. And as long as we have a heart for drama, it will stay ablazed and stronger by your love for it as well.

Say Hi to my grandma for me..she'll show you around heaven.

We love you edwin....


God Bless

Friday, July 03, 2009

PG rating

So for the past few days, Ive been raving about Transformers 2. Well maybe the storyline isnt fantastic but the humour is excellent. Bumblebee aka B, crying, the big nasty "piece me up" monstor's resounding balls, the female decepticon's long tatilbone and long tongue and the humping robodog/toy truck. If its wasnt a moment of humour, it would be a moment of action.

It was heartwrenching to see Prime die but sooo cool to see the robo jaguar's spine being stripped clean of "flesh" by B. Or Prime putting his fist through the Fallen! Man!

Dont forget the ancient decepticon who changed sides....

This time round, there was more robotic gore and since no red flesh and blood or innards falling out was displayed, it didnt really disgust me. Maybe thats why it was still counted as PG rating. But Ive got a colleague who changed his mind about letting his kids watch because of that. He doesnt want his kids to grow up like us hahahah <*seeing bumblebee pull the spin out of the jaguar*...COOL SHIT!!!! WISH I COULD DO THAT!!> damn...bad! bad! bad!

And speaking of PG rating...i realize a bunch of my students do read my blog...hmmm does this mean I have to watch what i say? Damn! emm..no i meant...Donuts!! Donuts and Fish Fingers!!!
And now that Im getting a tummyache because of the BIG Dinner I had, Donuts & Fish Fingers! Nature big bro is calling me and I dont think I can afford a miss call!

Amazingly enough..a ridiculous point system that i gave to the comperes has become a fun game! Hmmm not good news if I was actually trying to prove a serious point but entertaining to use for reasons otherwise.

And now that the date is decided, next week will be an emotionally grueling week..I want to believe that my God will keep me in the favour of others....

Thursday, July 02, 2009

MMmmmm Music

Ive got soo much to blog about man! But this time I'm gonna cast everything I planned to say, aside...for a single topic close to my heart. Music!!!

I dont know about eveyrone but a question I woudl ask anyone is...which do you admire most abt a song? the lyrics? or the music composition?

I know I used to think that the lyrics matter most to me..but I reaalize that what really makes a song stick...is mostly the tune. I mean come on...how come camp songs can stick to our minds so well? Despite how most of us dont like to sing it? (except Yanhan)

I've explored music from various countries and the ones who stick to me most...
Indian, Israeli, Indonesian (rock), Chinese classics, Turkish

Indian: note the carnatic bits where he just goes back and forth on the Sa Re Ga Ma Pa music scale. Btw its very hard for english song singers to sing indian songs well..alot more of throat needed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sH1N6jhKYyY&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M52k--GmLRs (composed by THE AR Rahman)

Israeli: Idan is a bloody good composer! He composes songs sung in Hindi, Hebrew, Ethiopian Lang, French, etc I think its got to do with Israel being a melting pot of cultures. I adore this man and his works!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axCT1a_M0lc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbWxg4asm_A&feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRTxeOOxtLM&feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iG3hNkBAxc&feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EH6Hs7P2xW0 (Favourite)

Indonesian Rock: Peter Pan. I havent explored Sheila on 7..or is it 5? hmmm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHzWhQPJOYQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGXniVSfSZE&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wsFwsFr3lc

Chinese Classics: Crisp and clearly articulated :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxu8Kxuf-Sg&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYpPfFOEBZo&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlxRMW19qJs&feature=fvw

Turkish: Its got its own mix of hip hop, RnB, Rock genre..sounds very interesting with a hint of its own culture. Their vocals are very throaty too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eetg759xwp0&feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoBLgi-dm8s&feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWPbUeVP-ig&feature=channel

Of course there's more so here are some other links...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltKg1WacKlk (Massari from lebanon)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOnsB2-o8VU (Massari from Lebanon)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wk670zx0Cg8 (Oceans 13, capoeira part)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGsm3FCCpKQ&feature=related (French Rap)

I guess the most impt thing is..how much foreign music are you gonna open yourself to?

And thinking of this...how open are you to things outside of what you know or believe in?


I had a discussion w a colleague yesterday and I made a comment that she agreed totally..that youth these days feel the need to voice out and vent and just make known their existence by stating their opinion. Eg: blogs. BUT very few of them can feel confident enough abt their opinion and themselves to not feel threatened when people actually take come in to read and leave comments. I guess what I feel is...if you dare to post stuff up, then dont get affected byt eh snide/harsh comments of passerbys. They do that for hte same reason that you started writing/venting to start with. And if you do reply to defend yourself, then you add fuel to the fire. If you're a nice person, your other good passerbys will defend you..better yet. Let God do the judging. Till then, if u want to voice it out, always be prepared to stand firm.

Its a new mindset tat gets worse as the ages go because the younger you are,t he higher tendency of commenting some nonsense on nonsensical stuff...the worst comment is a comment that is not well thought of..or rather one that has no credibility, no sense in it.

K time to sleep my remainding hours. Hope you enjoy the music Ive put in. If you can, search for the lyrics/translations. Helps alot.

Lotsa love to all who bother to come, for good or for bad hahaha

God Bless