First gig...

Saturday was nerve wrecking. took us a long time to come together to play a gig and i was so nervous that I forgot lyrics. Thankfully it was a small crowd and forgiving but I felt so bad...

Anyway as first gigs go, everyone is telling me that its fine and I just have to keep working at it..

The only thing stopping me from backing out, is that I might not want to go back to this if i give up now. Also that (only because they are friends of mine) I dont want to back out on them. If they decide that Im not up to it, then i guess...

Anyway..I need a few days to recover..then go back and look at the videos to see how to improve. it would be akin to having my meat sliced off again..but I have to do it no?

I have to...

God Bless

And of course Im just a regular human being

After meeting a bunch of ex students/old friends, i realised that sometimes...Im just a silly fool to think that after so many years of not meeting up, that I could expect things to be as they were before I left. And this time round I left the place feeling like I shunt have turned up or shudnt have joined in....

That maybe I shud have been more attentive at the signs..that maybe inviting me was a polite gesture and not an earnest invite. And if this was true...Im such a fool...

We all choose to think that we ware better and more valuable people than we are and things like that remind me of how truly small my circle of close friends are..and maybe I am just such a terrible and unappreciative human in people's eyes...

And these close friends of mine, are just the nicest most forgiving people I know...who tolerate me for who I am, or just have not known me enough to see my true colours, end hence, still have the tolerance and love for me...

So I sat at my void deck, stomaching this revelation and fighting back tears, because I realise how small of a person I am..how ignorantly silly...and unobservant I am...

I guess Ive been (as my colleague had once said) too innocent...

I guess I am just disappointed w myself.. and a small part of me is disappointed with others...

This is Me. Im not perfect and I might be an annoying person... Im sorry in advance...

God Bless

random much

So recently, my friend asked me to be a part of his band. Im pleasantly surprised and it was a lot of fun to sing for them. Of course Im not the lead singer at all and its understandable. But being able to be part of a band, working to get my singing right and hopefully eventually playing the keyboard..its exciting. Gonna work at it. This will be my only chance to really be in a band. Even though, all of them are Malay.
Truly..I dont think I've ever been very chinese when my friends are mostly malay and indian...
Also, Ive been keeping myself busy with other things like swimming and zumba. Thanks to Alan & Carrie, Ive kept going.  Ive also been going with my sis to pilates and also to zumba with Cal & Naz.
:) I guess my aim is to lose more weight..be more toned. :P
As for other things, everything is quite the same... which is annoying..need change..improvement
Been abit moodier recently...think time is making me agitated more easily...
to be honest, i know that me not having that someone is making me abit frustrated. I can't depend on any of my friends not because they're not reliable..but because...I can't let them take that on. They have their own lives...Puneet, Sonal, Cal, Neetz, Naz etc..love them to bits...but I need someone...

God Bless