The entire day, i had a little person by my ear going, whispering "why are you working so slowly?
it made me wanna dig a big hole and sink in"
In essence, my day was baaddd
Had a good chat with Juz. In fact to be honest, seems like Juz and a very minute hand full of people are the ones i can chat abt these things with... No matter how introverted someone is, he/she still needs to have someone like that. :)
These are the ones I will really miss when I leave...
As Juz said," Tomorrow is a new day.'
Gotta keep telling myself that every day is a new chance to fight.
God Bless
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
:)
Feeling better now.
Every day I try to remind myself and chat with God to build my faith in Him.
I can do nothing. He can.
every day I fight my reservations... remind myself to trust my gut feel. Maybe the better word to use isnt gut feel but the Holy Spirit in me.
I cant explain this..And not every christians much less a non christian, would believe me..but God does give us the ability to experience peace. And this peace is the evidence that somethings will or will not work out. Not to be mixed with doubt. or fear.
Anyway, just finished watching a cantonese drama... dang it..
I know ive always been a very serious or standoffish person to certain emotions...
Or just seemingly very calm..
But watching love stories, reading love stories etc...the side effect of it is that I sometimes ask myself why...
As for love songs..they're just really sappy..just saying..
But honestly... I wonder why my life isnt as romantic or dramatic.
And then I remember what I went through...lol! That in itself was a Bollywood movie! Short of running around the tree, I admit that I did enjoy being in the rain hahahahahaha
I wonder if my story was a canto drama, whether old flames will resurface hahaha That would be a proper canto drama... Oh and comedy needs to be had. :)
Dont get me wrong...I dont know if I still love him. what I do know is that I like any human, get lonely. And I like any human, will want to hold on to happy memories and have back those happy memories.
For all we know, while I may feel like the person has to be the same, it might not actually be so... hmm
Im not writing this with a serious longing hahaha Im just analysing.
Having seen a few of my friends gone through breakups, I realize just how valiable this experience that I had is to helping console them.
The many times that I tried so hard to find words to express my inner troubled feelings and sadness, have given me a vocabulary to describe what they sometimes can't...
Yes..okay Im not making sense...SIGH..
Anyway just felt like writing something... :)
Maybe God's peace of mind is giving me this objectivity hahaha
God Bless
Every day I try to remind myself and chat with God to build my faith in Him.
I can do nothing. He can.
every day I fight my reservations... remind myself to trust my gut feel. Maybe the better word to use isnt gut feel but the Holy Spirit in me.
I cant explain this..And not every christians much less a non christian, would believe me..but God does give us the ability to experience peace. And this peace is the evidence that somethings will or will not work out. Not to be mixed with doubt. or fear.
Anyway, just finished watching a cantonese drama... dang it..
I know ive always been a very serious or standoffish person to certain emotions...
Or just seemingly very calm..
But watching love stories, reading love stories etc...the side effect of it is that I sometimes ask myself why...
As for love songs..they're just really sappy..just saying..
But honestly... I wonder why my life isnt as romantic or dramatic.
And then I remember what I went through...lol! That in itself was a Bollywood movie! Short of running around the tree, I admit that I did enjoy being in the rain hahahahahaha
I wonder if my story was a canto drama, whether old flames will resurface hahaha That would be a proper canto drama... Oh and comedy needs to be had. :)
Dont get me wrong...I dont know if I still love him. what I do know is that I like any human, get lonely. And I like any human, will want to hold on to happy memories and have back those happy memories.
For all we know, while I may feel like the person has to be the same, it might not actually be so... hmm
Im not writing this with a serious longing hahaha Im just analysing.
Having seen a few of my friends gone through breakups, I realize just how valiable this experience that I had is to helping console them.
The many times that I tried so hard to find words to express my inner troubled feelings and sadness, have given me a vocabulary to describe what they sometimes can't...
Yes..okay Im not making sense...SIGH..
Anyway just felt like writing something... :)
Maybe God's peace of mind is giving me this objectivity hahaha
God Bless
Monday, February 18, 2013
Not giving up...
So family updates were negative this time round and some of my relatives are sick.
As were the last 4 departed in my family, I tried to fight for the miracle.
Likewise this time.
Also why I didnt tell people what the family condition is because I didnt want to hear the negativity. I didnt want people to bring down my already small faith. I didnt want the negative thoughts around this situation to grow.
My entry today is to voice out what I believe is the outcome of this situation.
MY RELATIVES WILL BE HEALED!
Many people out there would reiterate the fact but I know believe in the Truth.
I believe that Truth would set those I love free from their diseases.
It is Done!
Jesus went about healing those who were sick and came to Him. Nowhere in the bible does it say that He rejected any of them. Also he didnt just heal the Jews, but the Gentiles, the ones who didnt know about the Law, who probably didn't even know the religion. Maybe they went to Him because they heard of His healing powers and believed that he would heal them.
Compare that to us Christians who are not Jews, who never followed the Law in our lives. Are we not like those Gentiles who got saved? In fact what we now have that they never had is the Holy Spirit who lives in us! which means we dont even need to travel high and low in search for Jesus Christ himself but look to him through our own hearts.
Every time someone in the Bible asked to be healed, Jesus's response was I AM WILLING. There would be people who didnt get healed but thats because they didnt approach Him. Maybe they watched Him heal others but for some reason, they didnt approach Him? Maybe they were scared that Jesus would say No..maybe they were scared that Jesus couldnt heal their particular disease?
But the Bible says that Jesus healed EVERY disease... And theres no saying No. Which disease is greater than Death? Even that Jesus not only healed but conquered.
In fact maybe those who asked Jesus "will you be willing to heal me?" Had doubt..but had enough faith to go up to Him. Thats isnt even being fully confident that Jesus would heal. yet Jesus did heal!
Then why do we still question whether God will heal now? Whats the difference now?
Woudl it be any different now that Jesus isnt physically in front of us? Does that mean His power is lesser than before? if anyting at all, he is sitting at the right hand of our Father. in Heaven.
The Holy Spirit is in us even. What we receive is direct from God through the Holy Spirit!
Are we too sinful to not be able to receive? In God's eyes everyone would have been sinful when Jesus was a human. Nobody would have been able to call themselves righteous because Jesus had not died for our sins yet... even the Pharisses were sinful. And since one sin was enough to make us as sinful as the next, all of us would have been as sinful as the people of those ages.
Does having the medical advancement now become a double edged sword. It heals us in many advanced ways but also gives us the most advanced medical facts that we are now unable to believe in God...
Has fact become so widely known that Truth cant be believed because nobody agrees to it?
Like how the most widely spread rumour is the truth because everyone believes it is so?
Is that why the truth that My God loves me and would never bring harm unto me is unbelieved? Is that Why My God can and WILL heal isnt believed as well?
I believe that God CAN HEAL and has healed. I await His goodness to show Result!
The disease in my relatives body has been expelled or eaten away or shrivelled from the lack of condemnation.
The Lammin Cell in their bodies will regenerate through the Holy Spirit.
I await the Good news that My relatives will be in the pink of health! Praise The Lord My Saviour Jesus Christ! The One True King Who is TRUTH and LIFE! Who IS the Fruit of the TREE OF LIFE!
The Knower of MY HEART! THE SON of the FATHER who knew me before I was made..who loved me before my ancestors were born! Before I was a neutron! Who THOUGHT of me!
PRAISE HIM!
God Bless!
As were the last 4 departed in my family, I tried to fight for the miracle.
Likewise this time.
Also why I didnt tell people what the family condition is because I didnt want to hear the negativity. I didnt want people to bring down my already small faith. I didnt want the negative thoughts around this situation to grow.
My entry today is to voice out what I believe is the outcome of this situation.
MY RELATIVES WILL BE HEALED!
Many people out there would reiterate the fact but I know believe in the Truth.
I believe that Truth would set those I love free from their diseases.
It is Done!
Jesus went about healing those who were sick and came to Him. Nowhere in the bible does it say that He rejected any of them. Also he didnt just heal the Jews, but the Gentiles, the ones who didnt know about the Law, who probably didn't even know the religion. Maybe they went to Him because they heard of His healing powers and believed that he would heal them.
Compare that to us Christians who are not Jews, who never followed the Law in our lives. Are we not like those Gentiles who got saved? In fact what we now have that they never had is the Holy Spirit who lives in us! which means we dont even need to travel high and low in search for Jesus Christ himself but look to him through our own hearts.
Every time someone in the Bible asked to be healed, Jesus's response was I AM WILLING. There would be people who didnt get healed but thats because they didnt approach Him. Maybe they watched Him heal others but for some reason, they didnt approach Him? Maybe they were scared that Jesus would say No..maybe they were scared that Jesus couldnt heal their particular disease?
But the Bible says that Jesus healed EVERY disease... And theres no saying No. Which disease is greater than Death? Even that Jesus not only healed but conquered.
In fact maybe those who asked Jesus "will you be willing to heal me?" Had doubt..but had enough faith to go up to Him. Thats isnt even being fully confident that Jesus would heal. yet Jesus did heal!
Then why do we still question whether God will heal now? Whats the difference now?
Woudl it be any different now that Jesus isnt physically in front of us? Does that mean His power is lesser than before? if anyting at all, he is sitting at the right hand of our Father. in Heaven.
The Holy Spirit is in us even. What we receive is direct from God through the Holy Spirit!
Are we too sinful to not be able to receive? In God's eyes everyone would have been sinful when Jesus was a human. Nobody would have been able to call themselves righteous because Jesus had not died for our sins yet... even the Pharisses were sinful. And since one sin was enough to make us as sinful as the next, all of us would have been as sinful as the people of those ages.
Does having the medical advancement now become a double edged sword. It heals us in many advanced ways but also gives us the most advanced medical facts that we are now unable to believe in God...
Has fact become so widely known that Truth cant be believed because nobody agrees to it?
Like how the most widely spread rumour is the truth because everyone believes it is so?
Is that why the truth that My God loves me and would never bring harm unto me is unbelieved? Is that Why My God can and WILL heal isnt believed as well?
I believe that God CAN HEAL and has healed. I await His goodness to show Result!
The disease in my relatives body has been expelled or eaten away or shrivelled from the lack of condemnation.
The Lammin Cell in their bodies will regenerate through the Holy Spirit.
I await the Good news that My relatives will be in the pink of health! Praise The Lord My Saviour Jesus Christ! The One True King Who is TRUTH and LIFE! Who IS the Fruit of the TREE OF LIFE!
The Knower of MY HEART! THE SON of the FATHER who knew me before I was made..who loved me before my ancestors were born! Before I was a neutron! Who THOUGHT of me!
PRAISE HIM!
God Bless!
Wednesday, February 06, 2013
Adelaide
So my 2nd day in Adelaide and 1st day at work. Office is a wonderful white building and its cosy inside with people working in every corner.
Cant believe Im here alone and doing a festival Id always wanted to do!
Coming down to Adelaide was a thrill and staying in a backpackers hostel in an 8 share bedroom is quite the experience.
Albeit there are somethings which im still living in luxury with. Ie: eating out etc for now...
But living in a backpackers hostel is a challenge because of all the different nationalities involved..maybe im just not comfortable with other nationalities yet. especially non asians.
I wonder why...
Anyway its been fun exploring Adelaide for now. Now that the work load is slowly seeping in. I gotta plan my time and get my head into work mode more. I guess being in a new state/country makes you feel like ur on a holiday and you can have alot of fun. Fun YES. Alot of it NO.
Planning to watch alot of shows here. in fact planning to stay till the end of Adelaide Festival. :)
There is just soo much happening here that I had to sit down during breakfast and mull over what to watch. money vs entertainment. Maybe the short break I wanted to have after Womad, wouldnt happen because hte money Id wanna use for that, would have been spent on shows.
Also missing people in Sydney whom I love.
My goal here is not only to have fun doing this festival, and learning all that I can, but to explore Adelaide! it shall be done!
Miss home, miss my room, miss family, miss farmily, miss heaps of people.
God Bless
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