Full Circle...

So since my last post which was on saturday morning, I'd gone to Esplanade for a school concert and inte h midst of preparing my students, the piano instructor who teaches them, comes up to me and asks if I was related to my auntie...

somehow, that mere question was enough to get me red eyed....

She was my auntie's student and she never knew that my auntie had passed away... she couldnt figure out why my auntie had not even mentioned her sickness to her.

we stood hugging and crying for a few minutes...

truly I am sad that my auntie had passed away so early in her life. She was an amazing auntie and now I also know that she was an amazing piano teacher. I am filled with pride and sadness. she could have been one of our audience members.

I walked back into my dressing room and cried....

As I said, these 2 concerts are for her...

to think that these students are my own auntie's student's students.

Also turns out that the piano instructor's student is my SSO fellow intern, Pei Yee. Too small a world really....

I also got the chance to say hi to the SSO gang since they were within the same premises. it was their 35th anniversary concert.

The sunday concert was also a chance to see familiar faces. The band alumni which I worked with were there. Adrian the conductor was an SSO friend too...

Lord, I know how everything I have gone through does come full circle...And looking at everything now, all of it was a learning experience. and no matter how bad things were, everything is now a blessing.

God Bless

Pride

Had dinner with some of my ex-students.

When i say students, it doesn't really mean that I taught them. If anything at all, I just assisted them or guided them in their club stuff.

But just seeing them talk excitedly about their poly days and how they wanna work together again to do something big, made me swell with pride.

I guess this is one of my work satisfactions.

I remember how some of these "kids" wrote me amazing letters/good bye messages when i left for Australia. These same messages that made me cry on the plane.

I never knew how or why I gained that much love/appreciation from them though but whatever it is, I will owe it to God's favour on me, through me.

Anyway seeing their faces again, sharing hugs, seeing them grown up has reminded me of whammy job should be. guiding the juniors. Not just be a grumpy fart in the office…

Anyway in the next few hours, I will be into my first 2 concerts since back in SP. student club concerts.

They are both classical music concerts and to me these concerts have things that have come full circle to me in the last 3 years. For starters, i used to love listening to my sister play the piano. My auntie taught piano and when I stayed at her place, Id hear the piano playing every day. One of the pieces that will be played today is a piece that I will always associate with my life in Aus. Rachmaninov's Piano concerto 2 which was used in my 2nd year production, Red Mountain.

I guess what Im trying to say is, nothing that we do/experience will ever disappear totally, they will always come back full circle and appear in something important in your life.

The 2nd concert was one that I had performed in, hosted in before. The pieces in there are quite familiar to me as well.

These 2 concerts I dedicate to my auntie. The same piano loving auntie who's livelihood was the piano music and who passed away last year. I wasn't there to say goodbye face to face. Love you Gugu...

God Bless

Keep on ploughing

Firstly, I bought me-self a trolley!!! :DD 

This excitement I feel can only mean a few things (very few things)

1) I am by-heart a Production person. i.e.: loves the technical stuff, tools, handy dandy stuff

2) No social life at all that the greatest excitement Ive had this week WAS to get this trolley

3) I can finally start moving shit around that was previously a lot harder and inconvenient to move

Work is taking my weekends away and I expected this so all home improvement has come to a racing snail's pace. There is still zoo much stuff in my room and admittedly 3/4 of it is mine. But while Im sorting out my life, I do need to clear out everyone else's stuff so that I have room for mine.

Amazingly enough Mum and I haven't gotten into a heated argument about Hoarding and who has more shit in this house.

Once this weekend is done with, I would need to spend a weekend, packing and clearing my stuff so that I do have space to move furniture around etc 

All this home improvement seems to make me feel like I have some control over my life…..*nods* Maybe its just me being delusional.

Amongst other things, Im looking at all my insurance and sifting out the ones I should probably cancel…

This year has just begun and Ive already resolved that this year I will keep trying to make full use of my time. No more aimless internet exploring, aimless wandering of the streets, useless catching up with people who might not even be worth my time…Thats the least I can do for myself.

Less spending on senseless/useless things

Less waiting for things to happen and people to come…..I refuse to be someone who just lives out their lives…

This year is a year of change!!!!

God Bless

New Year

The new year is not even a day old and much things have happened...

I broke my promise to myself.... Now what I really need to do is evaluate the way I use my time and sadly..whether I should be spending so much time with them. the truth is that Im spending too much time or attention on people whom probably don't deserve it. I'm not being selfish but pragmatic...

Maybe this is me building my walls up to prevent from dissappointment...or potential dissappointment...

Yes it makes me an impossible person to befriend and that kind of defence has now become automatic. I raise that gate the moment I feel the lack of security...

Anyway recent events have led me to wonder what my relation to some of my friends are. Friend? Sibling? Acquaintance? Im not too sure anymore...sometimes I've just gotten dissappointed...

Lastly, I heard about my sista, from India and how she was used by her boyfriend to get over his own aching heart.... Her heart was shattered and bleeding with tears...and I wished that I was there to accompany her...I also wished I was there to give the guy a piece of my mind. 

I did. wrote a message for him on facebook...a mild one.

Anyway there is much dissappointment in men these few days....men..meh

I know what i need to focus on now..is my own life..and not let others cause me to deflect from my path..

God bless