Friday, November 30, 2007

Im feeling better...

Watched a movie w students yesterday night...jamie fox, american soldiers in Saudi etc...the movie was good..dont know how the cameraman does it really...alot of angles seem to be unachieveable w/o someone or the camera getting hurt.

After that, sat down w them for awhile and spoke to the alumni about the alumni nite..I guess I wanted to find out what they felt...
- lack of preparation
- programme has to be better catered to the alumni
- need to book more time to try out cables and all mics and projector...in the vanda room

And while talking, suddenly my ex's name comes out. Caught me by surprise but cant be help...all of us, alumni and I respect him for the leader he really is. Pity he cant turn up for the alumni nite. I know he'll have his comments....and him being my bro, Id be able to sit down and talk to him like frens as well....

After we seperated, I started thinking about how certain things wud have been better if I hadnt taken my sweet time to do it. So in fact...I was at fault...so many things abt leadership..that I need to learn...Suddenly felt quite bad..thinking of how good it wud be if I could meet a fren from the past to wiggle back into my old comfort zone..where I more or less know that nothing cud go wrong...and thought of my sisters..sec sch, poly, now...all the sisters Ive made.

I took out my hp and wrote this:
No matter how you feel or what situation you may be in now, just remember that someone is thinking of you. Take care of yourself because I cant be there to do so.

Got some replies back...

The funny thing is I did that whe I was feeling low myself and I rememebred those that I know and love who might be feeling low too...so I sent that out. But somehow I wondered if i did that as well...to get rid of my own low feelings...cud it be? Making people feel better makes me feel better?

The last song I heard on my mp3 player..was Praise you in the Storm.
The lyrics:
I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you, raised me up again
My strength is almost gone,
how can I carry on if I cant find you
As the thunder roars, I barely hear you whisper through the rain
Im with you
As your mercy falls, I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away...

Amen...

God Bless

Thursday, November 29, 2007

SCREW EMAILS!! THEY DONT WORK!

hmm I think emails are an excuse for anyone to be lazy to call..ad they lie to themselves thinking that people do read emails every day and not 2 months later. Emmm Im stupid...

Im very dissappointed w myself in fact....very dissappointed for thinking that I cud contact one person and expect the world to know. How come it works for gossips but not for proper issues?

Anyway...Im thankful today is thur..Im thnakful I ahve God's strength and Im praying that Jesus grace will help me to find favour in my boss's eyes that this shortcoming and grave mistake will not be taken into account...that they will see how good ISC and the rest of my clubs can be. Mybae if I wasnt their officer..mabe if it was someone else more efficient...my clubs would get the recognition they deserve...Cause they deserve it at times..they deserve it if I had kept chasing them for answers...

Sorry for pushing you guys...anyway i dont have much strength left also lah.

God Bless

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

ISC Spirit


The New Blood that will take over next year. Never underestimate the power of their combined effort. They're not ISCians for nothing.

Me in my best green jacket w ISC Alumni/Fren/Colleague Helmut.

Seems he's never left school hahahahah

God Bless


Alumni Nite 2007

Before the event...Wan Jun and I never knew that we wouold be the one of those to be sabohed ALOT throughout the event. The Alumni Nite became our "Saboh Officer/Emcee/Alumni" Day

God Bless

dream

As usual, anything stuck in my mind before i sleep, appears in my dreams...well not everything...but some things tend to have that effect on me...

Yesterday I was slightly troubled...a single thing on my mind. It wasnt something good but it wasnt something terrible, yet it got me thinking so much because I obviously didnt want this to happen. In fact everytime this pops up, i try to step back from what I feel, and force myself to handle it as if nothing is wrong. Nonetheless, I dont understand why it is worse this time. I feel really bad for the ones who are implied in this. Trust me that this isnt what I wanted.

So I had a really long dream that wasnt as sci-fi as some of my dreams are (walking through walls from the lving room to a desert etc) It was made of people from the past, in the present and possible near future. Maybe the dream was based on hope...a hopeless hope that never seemed to go away...only to fade to grey.
I guess the best thing wud be the initial prob I had..is now covered over by the dream.
Hahahahaha

K well back to work. I believe what Ive felt for the past few days..is enough for me to write some songs...

God Bless

Monday, November 26, 2007

Emmm..today is not a good day..

Went through the day quite sadly...think I didnt get rest the whole weekend and this sat is global cultural fest so all the more I'll be drained. Thankfully...God never fails to carry me through. I may not have energy to do anything...but Im not drained to the point of sleeping or fainting etc...

Think Im in a state of having to constantly remind people stuff and the idea of calling everyone up..is draining...I know people coming over to remind me stuff..is draining as well....

this sucks...I sorta hoping someone reads this but also hoping that none of my studens read it..they dont really deserve to hear all this bitching...

Anyway...recently theres been an increase of happy beginnings..or maybe Im the last to know hahaha Well, whoever they are, I wish them all the happiness. :) Its good to see your frens, students and siblings get together hahahaha Never thought things wud come to this but Im inclined to say that Im happy so long as all the rest are happy. God gives what God gives and I know God gives. Just dont know who and how but God gives.

In fact Im starting to suspect that alot of those around me, are having probs confessing to whoever they like. Well watcha waiting for man! If the person dont like you, be smart and move on! But rememebr that at least you tried. :) Life is more than breakups yah..its got alot of other stuff like divorces and disasters and etc hahahahah JUST KIDDING! Life has more happy things than you think and if you concentrate on sadness or pain alone, life would end up meaning nothing. Thats where suicides come in.
If you look around, theres bound to be a happy thing somewhere thats ready to show itself to you. All that matters is whether you'd open you half blinded eyes to notice it.

December is around the corner...in fact..its this sat. This month will always be dedicated to Jesus. The christmasy feeling isnt in me yet coz Im still stuck w nov but alot of places have on their lights and started playing christmas songs...
Wanted to have a christmas party but looks like I cant.

K..nvm..Im still waiting for december....

God Bless

Maybe I did all this for you...hmmm..guess that is payback?

Alumni Nite 2007

for the past 2 weeks, Ive been emailing and posting msgs in frenster & calling alumni and hoping they'd come..alot fo them told met hatt hey were going overseas, they had exam and etc...

I admit..I am feeling guilty..if not for us shifting date and time etc and not being able to get our fav caterer...Nonetheless, Im now led to wonder if the event wud have been as good if we had stuck tot hat date..looking at the lack of decorations and lack of preparation and emmm

I know the current batch loved it...and maybe the juniors had fun...and the recent last 2 batches of alumni in ISC had fun...but...how about the other alumni? In fact the ones who enjoyed themselves, enjoyed because they knew each other.

And I guess that is the main problem in this club. We know each other so well and tend to organise that we ourselves would enjoy..without considering what others would enjoy. Sometimes we get it right because others are like us..sometimes it doesnt work.
And while I can say that they did try...Id honestly and (sadly) say that this isnt enough...

The club is thinking too small....

Or maybe its me..thinking to highly..thinking that everything can be done...

I know I kept giving ideas... and maybe its me expecting my expectations and ideas to be adopted..maybe its my selfishness...maybe thats wats making me dissappointed at this event...

Dunno lah...Im abit confused by this...I dont know if telling them would be tooo cruel or too lenient...I want them to learn and become better...not stay stagnant and blame the lack of money as an excuse to not make things better....

I getting very tired..very tired..very very tired....My mind is on constant reminder mode and multi-tasking was never my forte. And just remembering things and realizing alot of it is not done yet..I get very worried and stressed..and if my clubs cant help me to rememebr their own business..I really wont be able to take it anymore.. The suckiest part..is that I wished I cud be there more for my club...but I cant...
I never get tired out easily because my God has given me the strength...but my lack of motivation..feeling that I have to be there always....is making me feel bad and thus bringing my morale down..if I have no energy to bring these clubs up..then why bother staying?
I really regret letting them take the string and steering the show themselves...if this is how they are gonna be all the time...mediocre.

This is the tired and un-motivated and stressed Me talking....

Father, I pray for my students..that you will be able to make them think big and let them see that nothing is impossible....even if money is an issue...without creativity....money wont work

Ning

I wish the same for my comperes and sparc and makeup artiste

Friday, November 23, 2007

Frenship bands, interviews & a flu later

Exhausted today....

For the past few days, its been interview every evening till arnd 9pm. Im really glad the club can do this interview without me at times...although, they do need abit of practice in throwing interview questions

Had a flu on wed and went home 9pm with a perpetual leak in my nose. Thanks to God who gave me a very long sleep and I got to work yesterday, feeling all better. :) I know some of the ISC students feel that Im doing too much.I feel it too....but I guess I do this as an example...that it will motivate them to work as much. Of course their probs are not like mine so I cant really say...
As we slowly got the alumni list together, alot of memories of people I knew via my ex..came in. Dont know what id do facing them tomorrow...I might not have given them a good impression when we were all still in school. For starters, I would have been labelled as the one who stole their vp time and committement from the club hahahahah. Take it as me returning a favour? Hahahah Like I said, I never knew Id be the officer of this club hahahah I cud say that a thousand times and it would still seem amusing to me. Hahaha
Tomorrow's Alumni Nite is gonna be real good! The chance to consolidate a decade's worth of info and getting people connected again! 2 days ago, we had 40+ tickets that we havnt sold...tonight, by God's grace (something I prayed about and trusted in him for) we sold all our tickets and are expecting an overflow if people suddenly pop by to get tickets. AMEN
To someone: This is for you!

Am at Toa Payoh now with Poh Yan and Bee Ting. Scold me for using the laptop while they chat...have too much on my mind yah.

Cant wait for tomorrow.....Cant wait for the Alumni Nite! Its times like these that I know why I came back during my leave..to help them with the contacts and the frenship bands...If they can dream big and be more creative..I believe 2 years down the road, they would be the school's most disciplined and most smooth sailing club. :)

Gotta go...they scolding me again.

God Bless

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Hmmpphhh time is ticking

Time till Medan is approaching...

2 big things to handle now....Medan Trip & Alumni Night...

Yesterday, i searched the whole database for names of ISC alumni...I know I shouldnt be doing this..it should be my students...but what to do..people exam and proj. Im only working...

Chat later..gotta run

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Yeah! 2 bros coming back for CHristmas!

Wohoo! Just got an overseas call. Was thinking that it was a bro in US who called to chat, but when the person started talking, his questions and conversation wasnt like that USA bro of mine...Then hearing the indian accent...my heart almost jumped out when the thought that my bestest best bro is actually calling! Hahahha nonetheless its neither, but a bro in australia hahahahahahhaha.

I have sooo many bros that its hard to keep a straight face hahahah

There was a time that everyone in SPARC and comperes was my bro and sis. Hahahah then when I called, "Aye brudda!" a brunch of them turned! Hahahahahha Then they started complaining that I called everyone "brudda" until they cant differentiate who Im calling for hahahahahahah Classic moment!!!! Hahahahahha

In fact, the only reason I managed to foll my ex into thinking that I didnt like him to start with..is because I called him "brudda"! Hahahah and its true! he was my bestest best bro! And still is! Hahahha damn funny!

As I read throught eh previous entry..it occured to me that now that Ive put up a face of my indian bro, alot of you could mistaken this guy as my ex. WAHAHAHAHAH sooo entertaining! Nope! He is not! This guy is the "bala-cuda" that kept making fun of me, playing games w me and biting me when we were working together. Nonetheless, he is my 1st indian bro aka Ah Neh (phonetically translated w english from tamil) So my respects to him always and seeing him sooo happy, makes me smile too! Esp when Dhanyaa is such a cute gurl! *pinch cheeks*

Speaking of bros, back to the topic, my bestest best bro (uk bro) and Eka (aussie bro) are coming back the same time and Im sooooo hoping to meet up w them! Even if it means staying up till late! Wohooo!

I need to add in is a sudden self realization...that Ive changed sooo much that the lingo I used to use last time..is barely used now...only when the people I used it with, are with me. Like, "classic!", "Brudda" , "Lepak", "dudu", "mandee", "kai fun", "bloody mutton curry"
Hmm time does change things..and surroundings too...not using these words doesnt mean Im more mature...but that that time period has gone and my lingo is more subdued..others beg to differ on this point hahahah

Had a musical talk today. Brought back soo many memories! Made me think back abit about those days :) Let me sing my song soon. :)

God Bless

Monday, November 12, 2007

Babies!

My bro's newborn daughter! :) She's sooo cute and her lashes are super long! He holds her like he was holding a small stuff toy and talks to her in a high pitched voice that isnt shrill, but is still unnerving cause Ive never seen him like that. All in all, Im soo happy to see his new girl and my bro's happy family. :)


Another happy family! My cousin's daughter! She looks exactly like my cousin! Eyes and all.

Im not one to go gaga over babies. I like them when they're small and immobile and smiley..but hate them when they shit, pee, spew saliva and grow up. I for one will never carry a baby when its 1st born because it scares me! Esp Elley when she was born..she was sooo small that you could balance her on your palm.
Hahah both of them are cute but in terms of "big eye" factor, Dhanyaa takes my vote. :)
Kk enough baby stories! New life bringeth forth new happiness. My auntie status is now closer to home. cant wait for these 2 kids to grow up
God Bless

Lions for Lambs

Just watched a movie yesterday and to be honest, I wasnt looking forward to this movie..but seeing the cast...I gave it a shot. Turns out really well! Got me thinking!

- Lions for Lambs
Cast: Robert Redford, Meryl Streep, Tom Cruise
Storyline: A new development in war tactics in Iraq, has a seasoned reporter in the senator's office. The scoop is to inform the nation of the new war tactic and ensure that America will win this time. Thereby garnering votes and sacrificing more men
Its also got a bright yet uncommited student in his lecturers office discussing the meaning of political science and whether fighting (literally & figuritively) is better than scurrying by the sidelines
At the same moment, 2 army men, drop into the ice cold mountain range after an enemy ambush. Surrounded by Taliban forces....one is injured in the arm and leg and another is shot in the arm. To lie low and play dead till reinforcements come...or to stand up play hero and die

This movie talks about only 1 thing. A simple question that has been debated a thousand times by many different groups of people with different backgrounds. This movie is a big scale debate on its own from reporter to senator, from student to lecturer and it leaves you leaving the theatre thinking about who you side with and whether you would do the same.
And this wonderfully debatable movie takes place within 1 hour. The different debates on the same topic happen at the same time with different people, defending their positions with different reasons. Is the fight with IRAQ worth the loss of so many american men & women?
The last scene shows the Pentagon (now good as new) yet along that same road trip, is a long hillside of white tombstones..for the countless men & women who died for the past 6 years.

I believe this movie is soo controversial that they probably had a prob getting it out into the market. The possible reasons to it successfully being shown would be either due to the lack of sensitive info or providing only the info that is already known to the public. Either way..whether the statistics are real or not, it doesnt affect the question. Is this war worth fighting anymore?

This movie will get any debator's blood boiling

God Bless

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Happy Deepavali!

The festival of Lights!

Went to frens place on thurs and had good homecooked indian food w briyani rice. We sat down, chatted until 4pm, then shifted to the living room to watch "Pokiri" staring Vijay. :)
Im a vijay fan if you havnt already guessed. a 3hr long show but it was good, the indian version of "Departed" staring Leonardo Di Caprio...sorta makes me wanna watch that movie.

Fri was supposed to be a free day for me but i had to go back to work for at least half the day to settle some stuff. Haiz...
Met frens int he evening for a cool round of "You must be an idiot!" at Settlers Cafe. :) The beauty of this game is being able to call everyone an idiot hahhahha In fact while the girl in the cafe tried to explain to us the game, she called us idiots unprohibitedly hahah causing a certain bro of mine to cringe at every sentence hahahaha
Girl says:
- everybody get s turn to be the genius and ask questions
- the goal of the idiot is to make sure he/she doesnt get discovered, if you dont get discovered, you get 3 points
- if you say that another member is an idiot and you're right, you get 2 points
- if you wrongly accuse another opponent to be an idiot, you lose a point and she/he gains one
- the idiot can not answer the trivia questions correctly, if he/she does, minus 1 point
- For every turn, you can make a guess on who the idiot is

The questions for thsi game were so american that we had to more or less skip the geographical questions and political questions. my bro and I were more english based while the other 3 girls were more chinese based hence alot more questions cudnt be asked hahaha think we all cheated in the game, By the end of our game time, we were shooting questions at the 2 remaining players without even playing w the board hahaha

Throughout that whole time, Ian & I were into our "real bro & sis" mode.
Ian: I'll tell mom when we get home
Ning: Go ahead! guess who she'll side with!
Ian: Of all the times you say you love me (while getting smacked by Ning)
Ning: The chinese say Hitting is doting you, and scolding is loving you
Ian: Yah well you hate me remember! You really really hate me!
Ning: Im also half indian. So I'll still hate you and hit you!

With a bro like that who needs enemies.....Haahahahah

As we took a bus home (Ian & I), we got a chance to catch up on other issues. He has his problems and i lend a listening ear. And while I listen to all my bros & sisters replationship probs...or happiness, 1 thing keeps popping into my mind, "No matter what happens, Im just glad htat everyone else around me is happy" :) And so far I thank God that its going that way. :)

Going to Bala's house today. Gonna see his baby girl and his wife too! Whoopee! Photos will come soon!

Happy Deepavali!

God Bless

Monday, November 05, 2007

FUNBUZZ 2007

Spent the saturday w my ISC students at Ngee Ann Poly, we were e rep team from SP ISC.
The team consists: Liting, Dodo, Ai Yun, Helmut, Jonathan L, Hainita and I
Think Im probably the only team w an officer in it and mind you, didnt let any of them mention that I was the officer...all the other officers were comfortably sitting under the shade while I was in the bloody hot sun, w face paint and sweating..I mean perspiring....

Even got such a good tan that the face paint I had on, caused a white mark on my right cheek (from ur view)...hence the number "20" is now on my cheek. My team number is 20.

We got through the 1st round of games and amazingly won 2. Which meant we had 2 rounds of semi-finals...Then we lost for both of it and amazingly, we still got 3rd prize! Hahahahahah

We whacked Kong Kong (dont ask me why they called themselves this) for dunking and got their member wet 2-3 times. Poor guy. we said sorry to him. Thanks to everyone for aiming accurately. I must say that when it was their turn to whack our Dodo ito the water, they did it fiercely and against the rules (in front of the line) Plus when Jon was blindfolded and had to follow our voices, they came in and 1 of them apparently pushed jonathan the other way. I must admit that we might have stepped over the line once or twice but we tried to be a sport and correct each other. At the end of every game, we said thank you to the teams. Thanks Dodo for sacrificing. BTW...we took a pic of Dodo w his abs hahaha soon to be on multiply.com *evil laugh*
We got thrashed by this Kong Kong team for dodgeball. They whacked poor jonathan and the rest soo hard and yet jonathan was soo sporting and small and springy that he managed to siam alot of the balls HAHAHAA very proud of him We lost for that but we didint want to win that anyway...
Wargh Games is a game of guns and soldiers and we were against this weird team which had all guys..so we sorta figured we'd lost already hahaha It was fun while it lasted though. :/ We got killed off quite quickly but Dodo was the last one to hold on and spent his last breathe shooting the enemy. *salute*
Then the relay race. We were last but it doesnt matter. We tried our best. The hardest was probabaly the gunny sack...Aiyun stumbled in that...thanks to having 2 big and 1 small guy..we had no prob balacing on 3 chairs hahahaha Jonathan was evil enough to catch and incoming water bomb and throwing it back at the thrower hahahahahaha
We won another round of Sumo and Jousting. Dodo, Hainita, Liting & I were jousting on a shaky inflated platform and we won our 1st opponents easily. The other smaller ones decided to be Sumos! So they wore the Sumo costumes that were heavy enough to bring them down without having anyone helping hahahah. The 2nd opposing team was from Africa and we sorta gave up the moment we saw them. Hahahahah well it was fun while it lasted.
All in all, we won and we lost w grace. :) Every match we had, we said our thanks to our opponents. Whether they deserved it or not I will not judge but while it lasted, at least we showed that we are not the team to hold grudges.
Anyway...this event also proves that Im getting old. Even today, I am aching...
I dont regret going for this..even though I had my reservations and hesitations. It sorta proves one thing....that you wont know until you try. We had a strategy for almost every game even if we didnt win it...least we tried.
This event got me thinking as well...at how they organise it. How different the club is from the ISCs from the other schools. Why is it they're so "on" about these things...while our club is sooo "off" where has the spirit gone to? One thing I know that resurfaced...was te "respect" sign that we gave each other. We lost it mid this year....we lost our vision mid this year too...
All in all...it was really fun..the event got us sweating and all but it was fun and insightful while it lasted.
God Bless

For every Christian I know...watch this...

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ee73e63418003b47d7d5&page=1&viewtype=&category=mv

I cried after watching this and it haunted me through the weekend. Thanks Stephen...
So many things we can reflect on in this video....
1) God's love for us and creating everything on earth for us, for our pleasure
2) God constantly looking down on us in concern even when we are in our darkest moments
3) God coming to our rescue the moment we want to go back to him. He gives us the strength to come back to Him and also protects us from our trials and evils as we once again come back to his safe haven and grow in his love.

Ning

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Nothing is Imposible...Luke 18:27

The msg I got from God today....Luke 18: 27, Nothing is Impossible.

How do I know?

Was on the MRT and reading a christian magazine and there was an article of one of the pastors and he told of his scripture verse..a verse that he lives by or believe in...Luke 18:27

Normally Id shun it after the reading. Nto coz I want to...but because its my bad nature...but this time it hit home and Im living by this verse today....

When I got my brithday present from my colleagues...they gave me a clay tablet to place on the table....guess what it said..."nothing is impossible"

My talk w God in the morning as I walked to the mrt was somethign along the lines of, "I dont know how good I am at working" "Feel like I cant cope at times....what do I go God?"
God: Pray before you do anything Ning...

Likewise..this tablet had a pair of hands on it and "prayer" in golden. Below it, engraved into the tablet, "nothing is impossible"

I dont believe in coincidences, never did and never will...not that accidental meetins dont happen...but I believe it happens because God willed it so...

I found my bible verses notebook and casually flipped to a page that said," Or do you think that I cannot now pray to My Father, and He will provide me with more than twelve legions of angels." Matt 26:53

My day today was full of my own condemnation and as I read this and thought of God and His love for me, I felt my mood turned for the better. Thank you sooo much God. I actually feel that whatever I do now..will go smooth.

God Bless