The concert was good. Soo far no complaints but Im still holding my breathe. Somehow Ive become very sceptic of having peace.
For the past 2 motnhs Ive had soo many events pop up and soo many requests that now I feel like Im playing catch up. I dont blame anyone..just myself. Maybe Im really not meant for this kind of job..even though the motivation to perfect handling events is in me.
Looking at the past few years..I know there were a few times that I felt like I could give up but I immediately talked myself out of it saying that I need to learn and get used to things and train urself to be skilled in this aspect.
Somehow I feel like I cant...match up to it now...its sad coz i love my student clubs...yet everytime..I feel bad that they have to wait for hours for me and have to tolerate other students coming in or other officers coming in and calls after calls...I feel bad having to cut the conversation to discuss something else before I forget..its soo sad..
I think to myself on how the others work and how well they multi=task that its so unreal.
Dont get me wrong..Im not bad mouthing anyone...can see a lawsuit flying over at this point. Before any misunderstandings happen..I really wanna clarify that I have respect for their capability to do all this work...only thing I dont like is the system...that forces us to cater to too many things that are not even necessary.
Or maybe its me...hmmm...
God Bless
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
My temper...
Lately, my temper has been shorter...my attention span..shorter....my concentration...fuzzier....
I now know how it feels to feel physical small and tired and under stress....and literally feel weighed down. DAMN!
I will try not to lose sight of life yah...*Pui! Shake Hands! Pinkie hook!* :)
Just realised that 2 of my ex classmates are married..out of the others who also did months ago hahahah wow! Reality is going faster than my life!
hahahha
Anyway...I cant wait for a break next week!
God Bless!
I now know how it feels to feel physical small and tired and under stress....and literally feel weighed down. DAMN!
I will try not to lose sight of life yah...*Pui! Shake Hands! Pinkie hook!* :)
Just realised that 2 of my ex classmates are married..out of the others who also did months ago hahahah wow! Reality is going faster than my life!
hahahha
Anyway...I cant wait for a break next week!
God Bless!
Monday, June 16, 2008
toll on my soul
Glad that I could go church..it helped...felt happier..felt more relieved..felt at peace
Then as the day went by... the list of things I needed to do on for the coming week...grew clearer and heavier
So now that Im in the office I feel an aura of stress on me...really considering getting out but the time I have now is for settling what I need to settle for hte concert..that would be my main concern.
Till then, I know my God is with me in my office all the time.
God Bless!
Then as the day went by... the list of things I needed to do on for the coming week...grew clearer and heavier
So now that Im in the office I feel an aura of stress on me...really considering getting out but the time I have now is for settling what I need to settle for hte concert..that would be my main concern.
Till then, I know my God is with me in my office all the time.
God Bless!
Saturday, June 14, 2008
its half of june and its only my 2nd post
think this month is my record lowest of posts...even May was better! But then come to think of it...May was sooo bad that it made me blog more coz I needed to get stuff off my back. The worldy kind of peace I can find isnt yoga but more of blogging, writing songs, talking etc...so much for the peace that Jesus gives me....I know I havnt gotten the ability to master that kind of peace.
Last weekend was a break I hadnt had in weeks...or months...
Meeting w Makeup Artiste members, travelled to paya lebar to settle instrument payments for SP String Ensemble on saturday..walked from Paya Lebar MRT to Tajong Katong....a long walk but I walked anyway..part of 30mins a day exercise? Hehehe
Sun, went to church (that was the most peaceful time) walked around abit...went to Mandarin Gardens to drop by at Granny's place and say Hi....then walked to East Coast to meet up w Musical friends. Bladed abit with rented roller blades and once again fell. Hit my knees.
Now my left knee has a blue black teh size of a 50cent while my right knee had a nail size wound and an mp3 player size blue black surrounding it. Looks like I got nailed in the knee instead of in the palms (ala Jesus)
Mon - Fri, torturous...
Im soo tempted to take cab every morning coz thinking of taking the train to work and standing through the entire 45mins with a knee that wont stop bleeding...was very motivating...
the problems Ive been having with the Myanmar festival...always brought my days to a tiring end...every morning i started teh day with dread and a list of things to do..every day I ask myself why Im working there..every day I answer myself : my students
Mon morning itself, I went to see hte doc..my knee had bleed the entire night and I was abit worried. the added stress on it while going up and downt he stairs didnt help to stop the bleeding. Then knowing Ying Ying was in town (my niece from HK), I had to meet them int he evening for dinner. Decided to stay overnight at Gugus place because I wanted to spend time with them. Took MC the next day for leg and for relatives reason...
Wed - Fri, had to bank in China money, had to bank in Moberly money, had to help David Lee with his clubs, had to do writeup for Lunch Show@ moberly, had to gof ro Compere & SPARC camp dinner, had to settle admin thigns w SPARC & Comperes...etc etc etc
Fri evening, Kung Fu Panda movie with ISC...
I feel guilty for the clubs under me that dont get my attention...Bagpipers, Jazz Band, Makeup Artiste..SPSE...
Been wondering whether me having so many clubs is a good thing..if its not and the clubs suffer, Id rather give them up so I can focus on some...
I am thankful that slowly but surely, the clubs are starting to climb on their feet again. SPARC, Comperes, SP MAC, ISC....
I feel sooo bad...I wanna promise to do better but I dont know how long I can take it....been looking at the papers more....I hope my clubs are able to be independant soon...
Jesus..thank you for being by my side all these days..I felt like I was int eh valley of the shadow of death.....yet I know you are with me...Thank you Lord for always reminding me that you are there..that while I worry abt various things..other things dont go wrong...
You are my witness Lord...when I cant take it and am seconds to throwing int eh towel...you are the one who know how much stress Im in....I know that you feel my strain on my back when I slouch fromt he strain of the problems....I know you feel my hotness in my eyes when Im close to break into tears...I know you feel my despair when my ideas amount to a dead end...
You are Lord of Lords!
As for my students...and friends and family who seldom see me anymore....I know I havnt been a good friend...in fact Ive become a non-existent one. Somehow I know that if I dont get over this...and improve my situation...the time will come when something will happen and I will truly taste "too late".
God Bless
Last weekend was a break I hadnt had in weeks...or months...
Meeting w Makeup Artiste members, travelled to paya lebar to settle instrument payments for SP String Ensemble on saturday..walked from Paya Lebar MRT to Tajong Katong....a long walk but I walked anyway..part of 30mins a day exercise? Hehehe
Sun, went to church (that was the most peaceful time) walked around abit...went to Mandarin Gardens to drop by at Granny's place and say Hi....then walked to East Coast to meet up w Musical friends. Bladed abit with rented roller blades and once again fell. Hit my knees.
Now my left knee has a blue black teh size of a 50cent while my right knee had a nail size wound and an mp3 player size blue black surrounding it. Looks like I got nailed in the knee instead of in the palms (ala Jesus)
Mon - Fri, torturous...
Im soo tempted to take cab every morning coz thinking of taking the train to work and standing through the entire 45mins with a knee that wont stop bleeding...was very motivating...
the problems Ive been having with the Myanmar festival...always brought my days to a tiring end...every morning i started teh day with dread and a list of things to do..every day I ask myself why Im working there..every day I answer myself : my students
Mon morning itself, I went to see hte doc..my knee had bleed the entire night and I was abit worried. the added stress on it while going up and downt he stairs didnt help to stop the bleeding. Then knowing Ying Ying was in town (my niece from HK), I had to meet them int he evening for dinner. Decided to stay overnight at Gugus place because I wanted to spend time with them. Took MC the next day for leg and for relatives reason...
Wed - Fri, had to bank in China money, had to bank in Moberly money, had to help David Lee with his clubs, had to do writeup for Lunch Show@ moberly, had to gof ro Compere & SPARC camp dinner, had to settle admin thigns w SPARC & Comperes...etc etc etc
Fri evening, Kung Fu Panda movie with ISC...
I feel guilty for the clubs under me that dont get my attention...Bagpipers, Jazz Band, Makeup Artiste..SPSE...
Been wondering whether me having so many clubs is a good thing..if its not and the clubs suffer, Id rather give them up so I can focus on some...
I am thankful that slowly but surely, the clubs are starting to climb on their feet again. SPARC, Comperes, SP MAC, ISC....
I feel sooo bad...I wanna promise to do better but I dont know how long I can take it....been looking at the papers more....I hope my clubs are able to be independant soon...
Jesus..thank you for being by my side all these days..I felt like I was int eh valley of the shadow of death.....yet I know you are with me...Thank you Lord for always reminding me that you are there..that while I worry abt various things..other things dont go wrong...
You are my witness Lord...when I cant take it and am seconds to throwing int eh towel...you are the one who know how much stress Im in....I know that you feel my strain on my back when I slouch fromt he strain of the problems....I know you feel my hotness in my eyes when Im close to break into tears...I know you feel my despair when my ideas amount to a dead end...
You are Lord of Lords!
As for my students...and friends and family who seldom see me anymore....I know I havnt been a good friend...in fact Ive become a non-existent one. Somehow I know that if I dont get over this...and improve my situation...the time will come when something will happen and I will truly taste "too late".
God Bless
Sunday, June 01, 2008
1st post of june...
since thur ive been sick...fever, sore throat, light-headedness, cough, aches & pains..sounds like an old hag and trust me I felt like one. soo glad it was nearing the weekend coz that way id get rest and much as I wanted to go back tot he office on sat, my body told me not to.
Feel like I havnt written in ages. For those who are free to read my blog every day (wonder why they do it anyway..) might seem like ages too.
So Im gonna start w my first issue...
China vs Myanmar...
for starters, I still wonder by USA still calls Myanmar, Burma. Burma is the old name.
2nd..still dont like the idea of China getting all teh help and so little for Myanmar. the topic Id like to put to discussion is...if the burmese military junta takes most of what is given..shoudlwe give more...or give less? give more and hope that the junta takes... oh lets say..70%...then with a greater total amnt given to myanmar..a greater 30% will reach the people...or maybe thats the idealistic me talking... BUT to not give at all...or give less...doesnt help either does it.
Now that we are slowly able to break through the barriers of the junta...will people finally start donating more? or would everyone have donated all that they have for China (being more blood-related) and use that as an excuse to give less or not give at all? Hmmm You may say that this is all skewed...but I fear the worse
Tired
Been very very tired..dont think ive gotten this sick in awhile...not even in 2 years...
9 clubs is no joke...really...i dont know how long I can survive coz i do know that I was really up to the ends of my hair this may and if every month was this bad....Id lose it...my health and all.
God
What I regret most abt this month..is that I cudnt go to church a single week this month (may) maybe excuses or reasons but Ive been sooo tired from work and clubs etc. Can see Jesus shaking his head, going, "tsk tsk Ning...pay attention!" Maybe its coz of this..that this month was the worst...that I lost sight of wats important in my life too...
Well...i hope to start things anew soon...hope to get my strength and faith back...
back soon.
God Bless
Feel like I havnt written in ages. For those who are free to read my blog every day (wonder why they do it anyway..) might seem like ages too.
So Im gonna start w my first issue...
China vs Myanmar...
for starters, I still wonder by USA still calls Myanmar, Burma. Burma is the old name.
2nd..still dont like the idea of China getting all teh help and so little for Myanmar. the topic Id like to put to discussion is...if the burmese military junta takes most of what is given..shoudlwe give more...or give less? give more and hope that the junta takes... oh lets say..70%...then with a greater total amnt given to myanmar..a greater 30% will reach the people...or maybe thats the idealistic me talking... BUT to not give at all...or give less...doesnt help either does it.
Now that we are slowly able to break through the barriers of the junta...will people finally start donating more? or would everyone have donated all that they have for China (being more blood-related) and use that as an excuse to give less or not give at all? Hmmm You may say that this is all skewed...but I fear the worse
Tired
Been very very tired..dont think ive gotten this sick in awhile...not even in 2 years...
9 clubs is no joke...really...i dont know how long I can survive coz i do know that I was really up to the ends of my hair this may and if every month was this bad....Id lose it...my health and all.
God
What I regret most abt this month..is that I cudnt go to church a single week this month (may) maybe excuses or reasons but Ive been sooo tired from work and clubs etc. Can see Jesus shaking his head, going, "tsk tsk Ning...pay attention!" Maybe its coz of this..that this month was the worst...that I lost sight of wats important in my life too...
Well...i hope to start things anew soon...hope to get my strength and faith back...
back soon.
God Bless
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