In Loving Memory...

Birthday SLASH Halloween

Previous mail was before the Halloween party..thios is after...

The comperes did a horror trail in the room and put in mirrors and all with people scaring anyone who walks past. I wore the purple wool shawl and used it as a hood plus a black dress etc...used nail polish as blood and for nails etc...creepy that I freaked myself....

Reynold and Aaron were good on the mike and many of the year3s were there..they had tombstones and bats hanging off the ceiling etc....gajan as david beckham, snowlin as the devil and aaron as the hunchback of Notre Dame, Reynold as Freddy Kruger....

We had games, horror pageants, green jelly...

Lastly, they gave me a very very big birthday party...a big chocolate cake that had a bikini babe on it w HUGE boobs...SIgh....and they had candles that light up again...damn it!...then they had a row of candles that said, "we love you Ning"...Hahahahahahaha I was sooooo touched and thankfully I didnt cry... Got a necklace form the seniors w my name on it...got 2 books from the rest, got a paper mache head and a tombstone too..plus a BK paper crown w the comperes sticker on the front of it. All this is in my room now. :)

They asked me if Im happy... what can I say? What can I say? What can I say?

I never believed that a birthday pparty was to be planned on my own coz its self righteous crap and I never expect to get presents from them...

Im always amazed by the amnt of things they do for me..even if its just an sms.... :)

To Everyone who did all this, (from smses to well wishes on frenster, to blog comments, to emails and presents and long distance calls...)
Thanks sooo much. I dont say much because I dont wanna take away the magic by thinking of things to say to express my gratitude....Theres really alot alot more I feel :)

Even my bro gave my a long distance call and that means alot..even though by that time...my hp was close to dying...

Thanks sooo miuch all of you! Happy Halloween too!

God Bless!!!

My Day!

Happy Birthday To Me
Happy Birthday To Me
Happy Birthday To Me
Happy Birthday To Me

Had a nice indian food dinner w 2 close frens yesterday nite (naan and stuff)
Got a CAMERA from them
Had a thousand sms from all of em, wishing me..I think only 1 of them said, Happy 24th Birthday. Damnit! You know who u r ah brother!
Got a long distance sms from my BBBro (Means a Bloody Big Deal) Which I replied and edited and edited to fit all i wanted to say in that sms. Didnt expect a reply but just needed him to know that I really appreciated it. Cud have been 12am his time when smsed it...And times like these, I really dont give two hoots abt what it costs to send a long distance sms back.:)
Got a long distance call from a bro's mum to wish me too

Now im in the office, stiffling a running nose that cud prove fatal. :/

Love to all the people who know me. I havnt been the best of a fren...havnt kept in contact, havnt wished alot of people happy birthday....my fault, my bad..my everything lah. Forgive yes?

Maybe its not soo much being happy abt it being my birthday...but being thankful that everyone whoc ares for me, loves me for who I am...Its not so much abt celebrating my birthday..but being able to spend time w everyone who cares for me..being able to say thank you?

Thanks all once again. God Bless everyone I know...and keep all of u safe and sound and happy and healthy.

Ning

Who Am I...

Nobuta Power! Enter!

Finished watching this jap drama I was watching w my sis. Its fun to watch w sis..even when she watching and playing PSP at the same time... :/ Nonetheless.

Anyway I watched Deathnote 1 & 2 during the weekend...and it wasnt fantastic but the way the killer plans his kills...they're exceptionally coordinated and brutal. But it makes you think of what wud happen to the world if killing were as easy and as untraceable as writing a name into a notebook....and the inital intention was to kill criminals in this world...the good effect of this is that the crime rate is reduced and criminals get their just punishment...but...is it ethical? Makes you contemplate the theory..."the end justifies the means" While the police and the detective, L tries to catch the criminal, he is forced to sacrifice some of his people....and the reason is, "sometimes sacrifices need to be made"... coincidentally...thats exactly what the killer says when he's asked on why he can kill innocent people who try to stop him from reaching the "criminal free world"....(sometimes sacrifices must be made)
Soo it leads me to wonder...who is rite. Is killing criminals a crime? if its wrong..then isnt euthanasia wrong too? euthanasia = capital punishment

And this jap drama I watched made me think abt how people can be manipulative and how people can be materialistic. The ability to mould someone's life as you wish, by methods that might not be ethical btw...how do you even knock that person to think straight again? What results in that idea?

Humans are scary...

K gotta go...

GoD Bless!

Zuo Ren = Be a human, be a reasonable, wellmannered, ethical person

Im starting to find it more an more difficult to "zuo ren"...

The ill effect of the school's "lack of budget" is not helping any club and the result of which is a "bitch fest". Im now stuck between 2 things..the belief of that I work for and the belief of that I work for. Note the difference? No rite? Both are the reason why I work..both are opposing each other....I dont know what to do and I frankly wanna get out of the way and watch them fight it out...why not? U know..if the head decides to increase funding, id be the happiest person in the world...

I spent time editing a proposal I dont even believe in. I dont believe in it because I know it will bounce abd yet I know I wud have to be cruel to stop it from bouncing...So do I send it in, pray it goes smoothly but say " I told you so" if it does bounce, or cut the budget knowing my boss will be fine and yet have my dear club curse at the unfairness? Which one is more impt to me? If work is more impt, then what is my purpose here? If the club is my importance...then maybe this isnt the right job....

Its seriously wrong to have pple come in for the wrong reason...or rather..keep coming in for the wrong reason..and I want to change that...but part of me is asking how and why.

I want to dosomething I believe in and not always have to fight between both...

Now I know how Jimmy feels....He scolds us and feel bad about it and cant sleep at night
well..Im sorry...Duai Bu Qi...Gomenasai...and in all other version that I dont even know...

Oh well....life is never fair....

God Bless

Im contemplating...

Seriously...contemplating on upgrading my blog...I think instead of me constantly smsing pple and emailing them abt events..I shud just update it in my blog and promote my blog instead...
The initial plan of getting my recreational & cultural officer to promote spore activities has flopped and I guess if its anyone who has to do it..its prob gonna be me. Maybe 5 years ago, I shud have joined ISC....

Damn tired man...DAMN TIRED AH> Mentally draining.....My medan looks like its flopping and guess what...its part of my performance measure..Hence if I dont do this....my perofrmance this year will be like SHIT! This sucks!!!!

Anyway here are the activites happening

25 Dec
Lunchbox concert at Esplanade
Christmas Musings

14-31 Dec 2007
New Year Activities at the Theatre By The Bay, Esplanade

5-7 Nov, 6pm every day
Moberly Movie Nites
Showing movies like, Water, Devdas, Monsoon Wedding

23-25 Nov
Deepavali Celebrations
Tribal Taal (indian music) 7.30,8.45, 10pm (fri & sat)

Maybe its just me that causes me to work hard for things I believe in....and if i see that its not working or not reciprocated..I withdraw all the way and give up

http://www.esplanade.com/SOPApp/espsop/portal_proxy?uri=nYIKgHOG4Wj!_MYOeyWB.V1UDzEr,lgRuNVfbaSf_D1Xskkk2bpRsJFM

As you can see, my heart is not in this to spruce it up into a fantabulous blog entry...Im actually quite stressed now and really wanna get out of the office for awhile...To destress...nonetheless, it aint as easy as it seems...

My entry ends here...Considering using my frenster blog as an events page for all my students and everyoneelse...if you have me as a frenster fren, then Its bound to bug you everytime u open ur email accnt.

God Bless

Musical...

Had to practice one of the musical songs again....performance...

It was tough because we havnt done it for a long time. Plus, we had less than half strength...

Yesterday was very very very packed...rehearsal, farewell lunch and exco meeting... Plus I wanted to attend a talk for OCU..think I found out quite abit about OCU and its payments etc..the only thing I need right now...is 25K..hence in all boredom and all hope, I redid a popular song to express my need for this money.....

All I want for Christmas is 25K,
25K
Please give me 25K
Chee if I could only have 25K
Then studying wouldnt be a problem
Dont you see how happy Id be
If I didnt have to work to get it
Having this big sum of money
I could study without worry

All I want for Christmas is 25K
25K
Can I have 25K
Oh If I could only have 25K
Then studying wouldnt be a problem

...... :) Inspiration comes in many forms

God Bless

My Prayer...

Father,

I have too many things I could pray about and I know I cant put all of it in words and thats why Im soo thankful that you are in my heart and you read everything I feel as it is..in my heart.

You know how I really am as a person God. I am thankful that nothing I feel escapes you..even if its something I feel even reluctant to share with others. I revel in the fact that I know you know everything....You know why I act the way I do...why I say the things I do..even if they may often be wrong.

My father, Im thankful that you gave me Jesus as my mediator, as my brother, as my saviour...I'm blessed...

I believe I am not always right, I believe I can be terribly wrong..I believe I can be nasty...I believe that you have forgiven me and if you can forgive me for the accumulated sin that I have and the harm Ive cause Jesus...what more the rest of the world? If you are with me, who can be against me?

I pray for eveyrone I know God, whoever it is Ive been in touch with. I may have hurt them, angered them, pissed them off, made them laugh, made them cry, made them worry...I pray for their peace, their safety, may the blessings I have received from you, be shared with them..no matter how far they are from me....

Give me wisdom God, and peace and strength. All this I need that I may lead the ones under me like how you lead me...to success.

Father, Jesus, Holy Ghost...Thank You.

Amen

...feedback

got feedback from my SP colleague who said that their events emcee wasnt very good. One was okay but the other was not very good.."my student helpers can do better"

Not the 1st time..really...I might often try and defend them but...I even have close frens telling me so. But I guess something in me wants to do the seemingly impossible... It sucks more that I am stuck w other things...than train them.

I'm at a loss.....Really...

Father God, let me not lead this young bunch of students to nothingness...let me help them live their dream...I know some of them are abit hard to convince but why do I need to convince God? If they dont have the drive..what can I do? I feel bad that Elsa & Yanxiang didnt want to be in the club anymore...I dont know how many people bitch abt me behind me...and I really do not wish for this anger...

Father, I cast my worries in comperes and everything else for you.
I smile at your all knowingness. :)

God Bless

sorry for stressing you guys out

my poor clubs are soo stressed because of me. Sorry for all the trouble....Im sorry if I push things to u guys...thing is...i doubt I can do anything w/o u guys to help me...nor can I take over the reign because doing so would mean u guys are dependent on me...sorry lah...

:(

God Bless

My pictures!

My whiteboard

My white board 2

My comperes!!! Damn it! They're cute! Hte it when they're cute!

www.Ning.youaremighty.com Click it! I dare you!

PS: not my doing ...

God Bless

Deepavali

Anybody free for Deepavali performances? I wanna go watch! Let me know yah.

Anyway...alot of things still need to be done...

*ohm* I know I can do it..I know I can do it! *ohm*

Ohhhh dyedi dyedi dyedi dyedi dyedi dyedi dai!!!
*self induced clapping*

God Bless

Rain Rain go away..come again when I take off day

Damn it! Stupid rain makes me wanna sleep in!

Got loads to do so I'll make this brief...

Went to the career fair this weekend...everyone who knew me and bumped into me, asked me if Iw as loking for a new job.....Cant I check out my options for fun? It sorta gives you motivation to live on and aim higher when u leave u know. Unfortunately, the fair was sooo small there was virtually nothing to see! Nothing that interest me at least....

Did alot of dvd watching this weekend too...Watched Kaante, Dus, Gullivers Travels etc. :) So here are my ratings....
Kaante sucks..even the stellar cast cudnt save them. 2 brownie points (max 10)

Dus is better..likewise the stellar cast but with abishek instead of abithe bachan (forgive my spelling) These 2 movies lead me to come to 1 conclusion....suniel shetty always plays the "emotionally unstable, constantly punching because of personal prob" guy...poor him. I applaud the cinematography though..abit cheesy but still okay. Wonder if htey had an ang moh guy to help them w shooting. The deceiving storyline helped though. Nicely done (7 brownie points)

GUllivers travels was good! cant compare between the other 2 because of genre but this movie was a movie Iw anted to watch for a long time. Classic story but the way htye bounce him from reality to insanity..was good. I loved the different lands gulliver went to and how idealistic they are compare to the real world...like horses being the civilized race while humans are just the next most violent animal (yahoos to be exact) Hence the reason why alot of people (for real) actually call the "stupid and nonsensical and crazy" people, yahoos! The many comparisions of the different countries to the country Gulliver lives in...forces the english government to look down at their governing..in shame (Note: all the mentioned governing ways were according to the past) The government now is notably better.

Im still in love w fanaa....as I was and am in love w The Red Violin and Lagaan.

The fanna soundtrack is still playing in my head, Mere Haata Mein, Chad Sifarish etc

Father God, thank you for your assurance. I know that I need to hold on to your words and promises and wait on you..to become a better me. I await your blessings and know that as they come in...I would be able to handle them, because of your trainings...

God Bless

My God is an awesome God who knows everything...

Still recovering from fanaa...I love the songs man!

Anyway, Im trying to tune myself back to reality. As the lead actress said...I only believe in love. Think Im like that too. Everything I do is driven by love.

My Lord too...My Jesus too....I know today is a good day because He is there to make my day rock. Ive got this new habit..the "rock on" sign everytime I sense a victory in the air, everytime I feel God working a small something in my life.

Thank you God for your grace and loving kindness

God Bless

Hear not, but Hark instead

I was soo pissed!!! I was soo dissappointed that I walked into my colleagues office to vent my frustration...I am stuck in the middle and it sucks...both dont see eye to eye and both are unwilling to accept each others views....All I know is I agree with MOE.

Had a really crowded meeting with my ISC members crowding in my office....tired...

No more energy to talk....

God Bless

Fanaa-Aftermath

Fanaa = Anihilation, Destroyed, etc

Watched it last night and as I suspected, Kajol & Aamir were fantastic!!!
Cant tell the ending coz it wud take away the fun of watching it but all I can asy is that this is one of hte reasons why I dont like to dwell in love stories anymore.

Last night I was stuck w this movie and even after the movie..my head was playing the soundtrack...kept replaying bits of the movie......

Sounds pathetic but Im still recovering from this movie hehehehe

K gotta go back to work. Sorry if I dont write more at times.

God bless

....do they not understand?

U know the funny thing abt me is that i may be fierce looking, im incredibly soft-hearted...

If I cant even convince my comperes that they need to wear the Comperes blazer...and not be able to control them...then..Im not a good leader....Im too soft.

Im sorry guys for being such a sucky officer in charge..Haiz..esp to the alumni ...

God BLess

Fanaa-My Next Love

Me thinks me would once again be obsessed with something again....not good

Fanaa is an indian film that Im currently loving. Something abt Amir Khan that makes me love him and his acting. This guy is older than the much loved Hrithik Roshan/Sunil Shetty/John Abraham etc but his acting is superb...Every movie that I ever saw of his..has been one I love. His charm....Hmmm...damn it this is a bad sign...indian, hindi and alot older...well..least I got the gender rite...rite? Hahaha

Anyway..Fanaa is the latest film staring the charismatic and beautiful/handsome, Kajol and Amir Khan. It starts with Kajol being blind and yet taking life to its fullest. She performs and sings etc and her gang of performers get invited to perform at a big event, somewhere away from home. Amir is the tour guide that is incharge of making their short stay in that "somewhere away from home" a comfortable one. Amir is taken aback and attracted by Kajol's blindness yet inspiring way of looking at life and they fall in love (as do all love stories)
The twist comes after Amir finds that love does matter to him and they get married. Kajol goes for an op to fix her eyes but the 1st thing she sees is her husband's reminence...his burnt clothes from an explotion (Nope he's not dead)
Years later, someone knocks on Kajol's doors....a terrorist...wounded terrorist. No points for who this terrorist is...She doesnt recognise him coz she never saw him but as time goes, and his wounds heal...she finds him familiar and realizes who he is. But she still doesnt know that he's a terrorist.
At the very end...it boils dwn to whether Amir would stay for her or leave her again to fight for something he believes in...or would Kajol do something to stop him from going...ohh maybe shoot him?
I love the songs and knowing the storyline..makes me love the songs even more. The singer? Sonu Nigam. Voice of Gold. See in indian films, the actors dont always sing the songs they seem to sing. Hahahaha Yep...

Anyway...sorta feeling bad for Ian & Stephen for going through all the "low pay" shit with me. Sorry guys. I guess if you really cant take it..then quit. I cant help it that you guys feel this way and something tells me that alot of us cant help it. Hmm

Anyway..enough time spent. Work

God Bless

Tues

Eyes..feeling...heavy..cant..keep em...open.........ZZZzzzz

After lunch is a hassle...feeling sleepy but still need to work. damn it!

TIRED!!!

Cant wait for weekend to watch Fanaa. Teheee! Amir Khan rocks my socks off! He's the equivalant of...Denzel Washington & Harry Connick Junior..I think

Anyway..back to work!

God Bless

LOVE

hmm profound this word is....hmm....dont really know how to disect that word really....dont think anyone can..hmmm

Sat nite, decided to walk from little india station to farrer park station. Seems trivial to most but not when you're one of the few chinese walking around. All the rest are indian...maybe not even singaporean indians... Yah can be scary in ways. But I wanted to try something different so I did......Hung my waist pouch in front of me instead of behind...hugging it.

Then was standing at the video section...I mean indian movie section.... Hindi & tamil movies, Finally bought Water, Fanaa & Dus n a vcd of hindi music videos heheheh

Sun...went to grandma's place and saw my dear niece...:P soo cute and her eyes are bright!

Monday..as usual..a chore to wake up and go for work. I know I need to find my bearings often...if I dont I will drift into the abyss....

Father God, keep me in your arms of peace and rest and faith....

Got some pics from my students and I know this is why I love my job...the students...

God Bless

Wish List...how it works

My birthday month! My sisters and my mum's birthday month. We're all Octobabies!
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Ehmm...pardon my enthusiasm...Im not my usual self hahah

Anyway was looking through stuff and realized that I wanted a few things for this birthday. :P

The birthday wish list works in a way where the birthday person (Me) lists down thigns she wants for her birthday and hopes and prays that her frens get the hint and get it for her. Wahahaha Well..it wud work well if the birthday girl (Me) hinted on who she wanted to get what coz if you think about it..every body who reads this...might get her the same gift! So who wants a dozen copies of the red violin?!??! So wudnt hinting be just wonderful! Of course you could tell everyone that your getting this for her already but thats no fun!

So I believe that the most skilful wishlist writers..are those who hide clues in their requests and provides clues as to who gives what. How cool! soo eg
I analysed musky toiletries and cant forget "melon scent" and the red bottle in the shape of a violin.
Ans: Ian must get me the red violin

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

kk enough jokes. Ian & Stephan pick your eyes up before it goes out the window!

K i admit I had a tad too much chocolate (dark chocolate) in the morning.

I can only say that I am blessed as it is and having so many frens to call frens and siblings...as my bro wud call me, " The sister of the world" Damn it! Im not Mother Theresa okay!

Okay..gotta go..take care & GOD BLESS!

Sonship,Adoption,My father

Care group was good yesterday. Of course every newcomer is very timid and shy and quiet. Im a human and so I am the same (no arguments)

We talked about our sonship w God (sonship is a unisexual term)
we started on questions for everyone
- What is your relationship w your earthly dad like
- What was the one thing that your dad did that dissappointed you
- What was the one thing that your dad did that impressed you
- What are the characteristics of a good father
- Do you feel that you are God's child?

Many stories were shared...

What is my answer? Hmmm
I know I can name alot fo things that I was dissappointed in but in other ways..I know there are alot fo things I can impressed in...everyone has their good and bad points..sometimes we see more of the bad because we are driven by emotions to see the negative. But if we keep the objectiveness, we can see many good things.

The characteristics of a good father is a father who has God's wisdom to be hard and soft at hte same time...as all christians need to be, gentle as a dove but wise as a serpent.
Especially men who feel that they have to be tough and all..not true.

I thank God for this new group of people who are in my lives to share thoughts w. Maybe I'll be able to open up.

Lastly..the one good thing God did for me yesterday...would be to give me the motivation to join this group.

God Bless

Damn it!

Tuesday! Today there is care group. Should I go?..just sent an sms to the care group guy and hope that today I cud go.

Since yesterday night's entry..I kept telling myself that God knows everything...thats all i need to know.

Today I was walking to the mrt and on the way, I turned around and saw that this indian neighbour (another block) was walking behind me. I kept wondering if this was the same guy who asked me (a long time ago) if I was his burmese fren in NP. Hmmm Anyway something inside me told me to walk faster...alot faster. Got to the train and lost sight of him. :) No im not racist...just cautious...he reminded me of someone else. All of these matters must be away from me for now. My God knows everything. Im sorry if that guy feels like I was running away from him hahaha.

Anyway tonight's care group is gonna be in braddell view. VERY VERY VERY convenient for me :P. few minutes walk will do.

I praise God for all his providence!

For all who read my blog...I wonder why...Hmmm...but nonetheless, thanks. Im not one to count how many read this..but its nice to have audience when you rant or rattle. And if anything I say is offensive to any of you. Please note that I say what I feel or think..and that may cause abit of misconception of me esp if I rattle abt something Im not familiar w. Hehehe sorry ah. All said, I can only defend myself and say that I mean no ill-intention.

Lotsa love! God Bless

past

Damn it! Got reminded again! Had to search through the old files for my students to organise their alumni nite...they had to ask...

Seems one of their seniors highlighted him and said that he was a good leader. Maybe its biasness or real..he was a good leader. Im glad to know him. really! at times I feel like he is someone I knew...and its not that far away because I dont see him often..sorta feels like our frenship is slowly drifting away and even if its not..still seems like we dont talk or email or msn often too....slowly yah...

So my junior actually checked him out. hahaha

As we figured out the generations of ISC, we weight the ranks and words like, "your alvin" came out. Hhahah I immeidately shot back, "im sorry theres no such thing as my alvin hor!" hahahah "no my alvin, my pravin hor! At least not any more hahahaha

Yep...God says to wait. Not because God doesnt want me to have anyone..but because He knows that I cant take having one now. I can have many pple whom I admire and like but never one whom I love for now. He wants me to be trained so that when the one comes...that I would be able to handle this relationship better than the previous. And that it wouldnt affect my relationship w God. The previous one was in a mess in terms of my walk w God. It was also a mess w pravin & I...but...he was kind enough to understand. Not everyone would be that good a guy.
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As I write all this..a look from the outside of my thoughts and actions...I do know that I am talking too much abt a relationship that was over...4-3 years ago. Damn it! I think Im the only fool who places soo much value on memories and emotions...regular scorpio.
Every other fren who knews me for soo long...would have told me to shut up between the 1st and 2nd sentence hahahaha

Dont get me wrong...I do walk forward..I do go forward...took me 2years to do so but I finally did. I do go forward but I guess I turn around once inawhile to see if someone is behind hahahaha and if its not, I move on. Has it ever occured to you that the one Im waiting for is way in front of me? My bro tells me to find someone...well yeah sure, get me the street directory, point to me where the tree of men is and I'll find my way there hahahah or let me know the next time it rains men. I'll try to be there. Hahahahahah Even if there was a tree..do you not need to wait for the fruit to ripen and fall before picking it? K sounds wrong..but you get what I mean!

Rest assured all! The Ning is fine! The Ning knows one thing..that God knows everything! AMEN! including when would be the best time! I praise my God even in the toughest times because I know He is the overseer of my life. Im under the fan of his care under his watchful eye. There is nothing he doesnt know about me and all I need to know..is that He knows everything. You know how sweet that sounds...I only need to know one thing in this world...that He knows everything..and the sweetness of it is that..He is on my side!

I wondered how people can get caught up in so much shit at times and I realized how most of them who get into all that..dont remember God's love for them..or dont have a clear vision of htat when the trouble comes. Even I had that experience before...or maybe its not about remembering it..but about feeling it or believeing in it. Same concept as having seen a miracle but not registering it as a miracle...hmmm analogies.

God bless all hearts!

Outbursts

Well..last week was a super duper bad week... Thankfully I have Ian, Stephan & Francine to hang w for awhile. It was good.

Couldnt wait to go to church on sunday....somehow being there makes me feel more at peace w myself...This time, had Ganesh w us and I prayed that he would feel God's presence in this church and continue in this church.

Anyway as I wanted to say, yesterday's message was something I needed alot. I always felt the messages applied to all of us but sometimes it seems applicable to others more, but yesterday, I felt like God was speaking right to me.

I guess for the past 2 weeks, I had confusion abt december gatherings...its really just me..not to mention feeling the heat in work...the message told me to wait on the Lord..to rest in his peace as He take on the task of redeeming me from the troubles I have. Note that He is doing the redeeming. God also said that I shouldnt be disheartened by the loss of opportunities because God wants to prepare me 1st, for the blessings that he will be giving me. He is training me to be able to handle those blessings as it should be handled when I get them.

My auntie & uncle in america came down to visit and we talked about my cousins. Miss them alot. If I had money to fly to america and visit them....

My sisters birthday was yesterday and we had a sashimi feast! :P my sisters bf was here too and Im really really happy for her. :P This guy was her JC classmate and if you count the years, they've known each other for.....15 years!!! How fantastic is it to love your best fren?!?! Im happy for them! The sashimi was excellent and fresh..we had ice cream and cake after that too.
Happy Birthday sis! Only had 1 candle on the cake because its no point having so many hahahahahah But! Still love you! Hope you like the wedgehead!

Before I go....

Father God, I cast my worries and sadness onto you. I know its slight depression and lack of confidence and none of these things can be gotten rid of easily. Let me never think of you as a last resort to happiness..but as a 1st resort. Let me be like Ruth, who rested, knowing that Boaz would help her get over her problems. I claim the favour I have with my colleagues and everyone, that you have given me God. I claim the blessings you've given Abraham and his seed (aka all of us who believe in you)

God Bless

Christmas celebration...

Was thinking of a christmas celebration...but where?.....where would be a place that is fun enough to accomodate everyone? By everyone, I mean comperes & ISC at least...Since Im only gonna be back by 24 Dec..gotta start planning soon...SPGG?

Just read my bro's email and heard abt how he and his ex are again. All I can say is...WTF do you think the 2 of you are doing?!?!?!? Why are you pushing each other back and forth?!?!?! If you dont Fing love him, say the hell so! And stop asking if He's GD okay! If you want him to stay away from you, dont blame him from doing so!!! You caused it! You are taking away your own happiness! Dont blame him for his immaturity when any tom, dick and harry will leave you for your lack of decision making! Things like these hurt and you cant do anything abt it! Nows not the time to dig into the wound and make the hole bigger!!!! Just do the best way possible to get rid of the pain! Damn it! With the both of you, who needs enemies!?!?!

So many people upset over a broken relationship, so many pple cant be w the ones they love, so many pple cant even find someone and the 2 of u have to be the ones who cant get over the previous pains and make up! If thsta the case, everyone should just be happy single right!?!?!
Get over yourself man!

The times I see things like that, Im sicken by the fact that people can use love to play others. Its a waste of emotions... I always said that I wud slap any woman who plays w my bro's hearts but how can I slap the face of one whom I care for too. All i can say is....MOVE ON! Someone who doesnt care about how you feel....doesnt deserve you stressing over her. no matter how much you love her. Because the truth is...the ultimate truth is...if she doesnt love you or refuse to believe she loves you....she is not worth your attention.She is not worth your effort...MOVE ON!
Its hard...but its necessary in life. it is absolutely necessary....

Ive had enough of this shit... If I could, Id shout at both of htem to wake up their idea...but..no point

God Bless

Thursday

Day before friday is what thur is....no other meaning to it

All i know is I cant wait for december....really...

This christmas will be one of the fastest christmas I have..like last year, Im planning to go Medan again. And like last year, it would be ruining my schedule for the whole december. Christmas would be a mess and I woudnt be able to meet up w my frens who will be back from overseas..esp my bestest best bro. Had a dream about him last night btw...dont care to describe but even now, I remember it...I spent the last few nights thinking (not that i want to...at least not all the time) wondering "what if"...and this morning..I asked myself again..what if...
I cant say I dont hope for anything coz id be lying but if I say Im hoping, Im just gonna give myself alot fo trouble.

Got some bros who have been in a tough situation or undesirable situation.

one of them has been emailing about a conversation w his ex and how he's trying to convince her to go back to him. The jist is that they both love each other but the girl's been hurt too often (by others too) to even wanna come back to him....Haiz...
She's hurting him by throwing sharp comments at him and hurting his emotions...Its what I could sorta call revenge.

another bro...is stuck w counselling his frens and their frens and he himself gets hit w 1 or 2 shots of, "why am I still single"

Oh well...dont know what to say to these 2 bros...not like I can do anything for any of them....
But it doesnt mean that I dont want them to be happy...Like alwayts, I wud lay my hands on any stupid woman who dosent have the brains to hold on to a good guy and my bros are.

Anyway..like I said...even w the screwed up schedule, I cant wait for end of october and december.... I asked God to tell me what to do when I do see my bestest best bro again...and I think all that came out of that was...Ning, see for yourself...see if he's changed and if he stil has feelings for you. If he doesnt..move on. Yes Daddy God....my heart is uneasy and confused at times..but I know you are there for me.

Thank you father..no matter how sucky life might be, that I have people who care for me..around me all the time. Let me not forget how much you love me.

God Bless!

Been wanting to blog since yesterday...

Yesterday was such a bad day that I really had no mood to blog....

Wat I wanted to blog about...was my old school...

Met a sec sch junior (whom i never knew but he recognised me) when I was buying my contact lenses. I guess that spurred me to visit my old school after church (its just downstairs my place)

U know, its very deceiving because everytime I walk by the school, it seems fine. But when I walked closer, along the outside of the school, I realize how much the plants have grown. They've crashed our study area. the vines became soo heavy that the wooden beams couldnt hold it anymore and the whole cover collapsed. Everything inside, the murals and the colours were faded but never changed. The study benches were gone.

Surprisingly, the assembly halls' doors were wide open and I got a shock...outside the hall were profanities sprayed all over. The hall floor was very dusty...but the art pieces that were there on the 1st day of my sec sch life, were still hanging on the wall...the ropes at the back of the hall were still there...the wooden gym bars at the back and the honor roll names were still there.

On the stage was the Braddell westlake rostrum and the remains of the braddell westlake graduation banner....

As I walked back down the ramp from the hall, I realized how the plants have already started growing out of the slop sides...the end of the ramp had plants that grew so tall that it sorta formed an arch for me to walk through...

So sad....I plan to borrow a camera to take a few more pics of the place before I let this place go...

Because im the sentimental sort, I know that to me, the building has a value on its own...aside from our teachers and friends etc.

God bless