Why do I say possibly? Could be that I feel like i have alot ot say...keyword: feel. And I think I do! But whethe ri could put em all in words...thats another thing.
The 4 chocolate bars are still in my drawer. Cant bear to eat it..still....Damn! This is some phenomenon man! I cant believe having so much chocolate wouldnt tempt me to even peel off abit of it. I mean...I dont even feel that way w Christmas presents!
The last week was really fun but I feel the pressure of work again. Damn that newsletter!!
Emmm give me a sec...gotta think about what I wanna say...*ruffling strips of paper*
- Myanmar
- Mid Autumn
- My dad
(in the middle of thinking..went to answer nature's call...almost walked into the gents...damn it!)
- Myself
- Bro's birthday party
- Switching parents
Myanmar's Unrest
I feel this for my burmese students. Having read abit about their history in the papers I feel for their unrest. The nuisance of power hungry people. The same reason why God didnt want kings, only judges. Its ironic how a buddhism abidding country can be so deep in political unrest. But I pray for my burmese students and their families.
Mid Autumn Festival
Fromt he bottom of my heart, Im sooo proud of my students for organising such a successful mid autumn event. Theres no such thing as a perfect event and I believe we really tried our best and the results was actually better than whatr I expected. We could use with abit more english but nonetheless, Im sooo proud of them..really. Im also damn proud of my comperes. They did a really good job! Im sooo impressed by them! I do wish though, that I could give them more stuff to do. Im also a really grateful to my makeup artist, Ericia.
Aside from that, my thanks goes out to all the other clubs who co-organised this event.
MY ISC did a chinese dance! Wish I caught it on video! Damn!
Can I say that I never had sooo much fun during Mid Autumn Festival than that night? Yes!
Topic 3: My Dad,
Im not gonna say anythign bad abt my dad this time...Just starting to see my dad in me. I see his ignorance and his attitude in me and it scares me. Been going to church w 2 of my bros and one of which has many different problems in his life. I dont talk about his life often because Im starting to think that its better if I dont know. Not that its all bad.
Nonetheless, I see my attitude change when Im w him and when Im w others...In fact the way I act around him is abt the same way I act w my dad. "Heck care" yet judgemental. Im trying to stop that but sometimes Its quite natural and unstoppable.
You know everytime these judgemental times happen...I remember one thing, "do not judge someone who has a splinter in his eye while you have a plank in yours" note the diff...splinter vs plank. One of God's sarcastic words of wisdom that makes me laugh. Which would then lead me to tell myself, "watch that plank in your eye ah!"
In fact (moving on) Ive been doing alot of reflecting these days...ever since I told my comperes to find themselves..find out who they are...Ive been thinking about who I am too.
I now know thta Im someone who doesnt like to be in the midst of authority, having to watch my Ps and Qs. Cant I just be myself and talk the way I talk...Id make I very nasty member of the royal family. Just glad God doesnt mind me being loudspoken and honest. So really...I dont like to be caught in a gang of atas people. Wouldnt know who to act, how to walk, what to say.
There was this show i was watching Hollywood's sex addicts etc ...and they were evaluating people and the actors/actresses behavious etc....one of them said that Scorpios are intensive, emotional people who place alot of emphasis in passion and very sexually...driven...ehmmm...WHAT!?!?!?! BTW..guess who's a scorpio too? Angelina Jolie!
http://horoscopes.aol.com/astrology/zodiac-central/scorpio
Im not a believer of daily horoscopes but as I read this..I actually can relate to it..you be the judge. HAhahahahaha damn it!
Last night we (bunch of close frens) celebrated a bro's birthday. Poor bro keeps stabbing himself (throw out comments only to have it backfire) New haircut and all..etc. Finally getting 1 year older. If not for this bunch of frens...I would be insane right now...Thanks bro and happy early birthday..We had Marche at vivocity. Went over super early and walked around by the sea? river? straits of malacca? aiyah you get what I mean...been awhile since the last I did that. wanted to go sentosa then come back hahah SIAO! Got home super late lah and ended up sleeping in church... Sorry God! Hehehe Once again, I was the oldest there...once again..damn!
As a bro introduced me as the sister of the whole world....Bah!
Lastly...was watching this show thats been showing for awhile yet..never got a chance to watch...the title is something along the lines of...parent swopping..etc
The dad in the show was an irritating, sarcastic, obnoxious prick that deserves to be taught a lesson. He has 3 kids and he doesnt like spending time w them. Maybe coz he thinks being w his kids is against his all american male image(what is that anyway!!). The "swopped mum" tried to inpose a 1 hour activity w dad and kid and the youngest son was quite excited because he could spend more time w his dad. (HE actually wants to spend more time w his dad!!! thats a gem!) But the prick of a dad teased his son for not being a sporty person. The poor kid loved going to the museum and so the dad brought him the museum....the dad tried to be a know it all and gave sarcastic comments as the kid went from exhibit to exhibit displaying real interest and curiousity!!! Halfway through, the kid felt sooo guilty that he put his dad through all the scientific, intelligent shit that he didnt enjoy the museum at all, he sped through the rest of the exhibits. End result....." my dad's never gonna change. thats the way he is" the kid lacks his dad's affection and "one on one" time..because the dad cant bring himself to go down to his level and find interest in what his son likes. Before I switched the channel, the kid was brought (by the fake mum) to an impromptu drama class (cause of his artistic streak) and he left the class wanting to sign up for it...I didnt stay to find out what the dad said when the kid said he wanted to join but I hope the father said yes. Id bet anything that this father didnt have a real childhood either. As for this kid, I hope he grows up following what he loves to do and not end up subdued by his father's and elder brother's lack of culture, sarcastic and snide remarks....
Ive always believed in following your passion....
This show is interesting coz it gives every family a wakeup call....but some cals can be damaging to the family before it becomes useful.
K end of entry... so much more to say but batt level matters
God Bless
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Mid Autumn Festival
Mid Autumn Festival tomorrow night.
My ISC club is super on man! I know they are feeling abit of confused w some problems etc...but Im glad they learn from the process.
My pride always goes to my presidents who live up to expectations. My ISC has been the busiest woman in this world and Im sooo proud of her independency and efficiency in organising the club. The club truly goes abit lost without her. The vice=president is the nice guy motivator hahahaha
My Comperes president is a gem who can be bimbotic at times and smart always.She and the vice president are huggable and humble and honest. Without them, I would feel the most lost.
My Makeup Artiste Club president is soo sweet that she can convince me to learn makeup. The vice is feircer and hence they balance off and complement each other
My SPARC president is so jolly a guy that you know he's in love w God. He and the Vice are the best of pals. They may be blur at times but you still gotta love em. One of the nicest guys I know.
All in all, they do their job without grumbling and most importantly, they view their job as something other than a way to get more cca points.
Once again, Im bought over by dark chocolates and students.
God Bless
My ISC club is super on man! I know they are feeling abit of confused w some problems etc...but Im glad they learn from the process.
My pride always goes to my presidents who live up to expectations. My ISC has been the busiest woman in this world and Im sooo proud of her independency and efficiency in organising the club. The club truly goes abit lost without her. The vice=president is the nice guy motivator hahahaha
My Comperes president is a gem who can be bimbotic at times and smart always.She and the vice president are huggable and humble and honest. Without them, I would feel the most lost.
My Makeup Artiste Club president is soo sweet that she can convince me to learn makeup. The vice is feircer and hence they balance off and complement each other
My SPARC president is so jolly a guy that you know he's in love w God. He and the Vice are the best of pals. They may be blur at times but you still gotta love em. One of the nicest guys I know.
All in all, they do their job without grumbling and most importantly, they view their job as something other than a way to get more cca points.
Once again, Im bought over by dark chocolates and students.
God Bless
2 days leave in school
All oxymoron-ness...
Took 2 days leave yesterday and day before and on both days, I came back to school. Dont ask why yah...no point.
Anyway the only answer I'll give you in "fun laughter peace and joy"
I was there as an alumni for my compere juniors and to spend time with my other clubs as they sit around and wait for other SP students to come to their booth. K maybe "sitting around" isnt the right word....
The recent scolding I gave my comperes was harsh but while I regret writing those words, I dont regret scolding them.
We had training yesterday and I tried to teach them what I know and I tried to make it fun but how fun can a formal event be? I tried and I think I actually failed to keep them interested...I wasnt a very fun person to start with....
At the end of the training, my students actually showered me with dark chocolate....I still ask myself why...I know I dont deserve it...
I tried my best to explain to them my side of this club and I hope they get it and I hope tey find out who they are and eventually become good emcees.
Thanks for the chocs guys. Ive actually got no heart to eat em. If I could, Id keep them for a long while...but that would stink in the end...Took a pic of it and I'll put it on soon.
I truly believe that they can do it..
God Bless
Took 2 days leave yesterday and day before and on both days, I came back to school. Dont ask why yah...no point.
Anyway the only answer I'll give you in "fun laughter peace and joy"
I was there as an alumni for my compere juniors and to spend time with my other clubs as they sit around and wait for other SP students to come to their booth. K maybe "sitting around" isnt the right word....
The recent scolding I gave my comperes was harsh but while I regret writing those words, I dont regret scolding them.
We had training yesterday and I tried to teach them what I know and I tried to make it fun but how fun can a formal event be? I tried and I think I actually failed to keep them interested...I wasnt a very fun person to start with....
At the end of the training, my students actually showered me with dark chocolate....I still ask myself why...I know I dont deserve it...
I tried my best to explain to them my side of this club and I hope they get it and I hope tey find out who they are and eventually become good emcees.
Thanks for the chocs guys. Ive actually got no heart to eat em. If I could, Id keep them for a long while...but that would stink in the end...Took a pic of it and I'll put it on soon.
I truly believe that they can do it..
God Bless
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Im guilty
Had a call today by my comperes president, saying that 2 people quit from comperes.
Amongst all who deserve to quit, the ones who want to quit are not one of them. In fact I wouldnt fire anyone except for their committement and willing ness to learn.
Anyway...weeks after that letter...I feel the worst, seeing that the students whom I didnt intend the letter for, are now moving away. And if its all from my doing...I feel worse....
I wonder how my officer felt when alot of our juniors decided to quit...
Anyway..times like these make me wonder about how good I am at looking after a club like that.
Maybe I really did push them too hard. Maybe this club is not for the faint hearted...maybe ....maybe..maybe...maybe I dont know anymore.
Anyway..its true..I shouldnt get too emotional in my student club issues. Maybe being partial is a good idea....
I feel like telling them that the reason why I force you to go through all this repetitive training...is because the training you need is not something that can be perfected in just one lesson. And I cant keep giving you actual events to try on because it will jeopardize our comperes image. Look at it from an events organisors point of view.
My energy spent....
Soo as it is, I called up one of my sisters today and told her about this problem of mine and much as she is younger than me by 2 years, her advice and love was my comfort and encouragement.
Anyway..IM super tired right now
God Bless
Amongst all who deserve to quit, the ones who want to quit are not one of them. In fact I wouldnt fire anyone except for their committement and willing ness to learn.
Anyway...weeks after that letter...I feel the worst, seeing that the students whom I didnt intend the letter for, are now moving away. And if its all from my doing...I feel worse....
I wonder how my officer felt when alot of our juniors decided to quit...
Anyway..times like these make me wonder about how good I am at looking after a club like that.
Maybe I really did push them too hard. Maybe this club is not for the faint hearted...maybe ....maybe..maybe...maybe I dont know anymore.
Anyway..its true..I shouldnt get too emotional in my student club issues. Maybe being partial is a good idea....
I feel like telling them that the reason why I force you to go through all this repetitive training...is because the training you need is not something that can be perfected in just one lesson. And I cant keep giving you actual events to try on because it will jeopardize our comperes image. Look at it from an events organisors point of view.
My energy spent....
Soo as it is, I called up one of my sisters today and told her about this problem of mine and much as she is younger than me by 2 years, her advice and love was my comfort and encouragement.
Anyway..IM super tired right now
God Bless
CCA Points
The most irritating thing in the world...CCA Points...
Dont know who came up w the point system. Whereever it works, its not the best system to teach our youth. Why? Because they learn that doing certain things will give them a tangible incentive. If so, why do other things that dont offer anything in return? Tangible I mean...
By tangible: cca points, privileges, vouchers, prizes, awards....physical recognition.
By intangible: things that fulfill your inner interests, your curiousity...
Eg: learning cooking to fulfill an aim to learn how to cook, or picking up rubbish from the beach because you feel a sense of responsibility or sense of satisfaction helping the env..IE: you do it coz you love to do it
CCA Points, prizes and awards are a load of rubbish for the desperate organisors...sad to say...I am one of them. I owe my students an apology for the lateness in calculating cca points...but at the same time I really hope that cca points are their only source of motivation
Speaking of somethign happier...my cousin got married yesterday..or rather, we had the dinner yesterday. Rushed off from work to clarke quay, rushed to the public toilet and changed etc..
My grandma came and she being abit senile(hate the word), couldnt recognise us cousins very well. She forgot my sister and I and my cousin (the one getting married). Must say that if you take it to heart, then yes it hurts. But nonetheless, no one wants to have this prob.My grandma sure would love to remember everything in her life and tell it to her grandchildren. What struck me the most yesterday...was how my cousin said, "it doesnt matter if you dont recognise me...so long as I can recognise you"
Can be true in a way...coz you know that no matter how forgetful you are, people still remember and love you. But if I put myself in my granny's shoes, I would be sad if I cant remember my grndchild's face but I remember her name and how she's related. Imagine forgetting your sister's face even after recognising her name and how much she means to you..YET not being able to show her how much you care for her...because you cant remember her. Hmmm
Thats why I started keeping a diary int he 1st place...call it a kid's idea of data entry. Download all past history in a diary(portable memory storage device...eg: CD?) so that you have more memory space in your hard drive to put it more recent memories.
So this phrase my cousins made has given me another inspiration for a song..dont know how I'll write it but we'll see how it goes.
As we waited for the dinner to start, all the cousins, except my uncle jeff and his family, was there...well minus a few usual absentees...and the 5 of us cousins got together to take a pic w granny. Granny was in a daze yesterday....white thin hair, frail small frame, dressed in her usual grannywear but w an extra thick jacket. we all towered over her as she sat in her wheelchair and strained to look up at us. Oner of her eyes cloudy and glossy...and the other, a glass eye.
Yesterday, she received a cup of tea from her grandson in law. the 3rd one in the family. Her smile was there but thin. maybe she didnt know why she was smiling or meant to smile...
Love my grandma
God Bless
Dont know who came up w the point system. Whereever it works, its not the best system to teach our youth. Why? Because they learn that doing certain things will give them a tangible incentive. If so, why do other things that dont offer anything in return? Tangible I mean...
By tangible: cca points, privileges, vouchers, prizes, awards....physical recognition.
By intangible: things that fulfill your inner interests, your curiousity...
Eg: learning cooking to fulfill an aim to learn how to cook, or picking up rubbish from the beach because you feel a sense of responsibility or sense of satisfaction helping the env..IE: you do it coz you love to do it
CCA Points, prizes and awards are a load of rubbish for the desperate organisors...sad to say...I am one of them. I owe my students an apology for the lateness in calculating cca points...but at the same time I really hope that cca points are their only source of motivation
Speaking of somethign happier...my cousin got married yesterday..or rather, we had the dinner yesterday. Rushed off from work to clarke quay, rushed to the public toilet and changed etc..
My grandma came and she being abit senile(hate the word), couldnt recognise us cousins very well. She forgot my sister and I and my cousin (the one getting married). Must say that if you take it to heart, then yes it hurts. But nonetheless, no one wants to have this prob.My grandma sure would love to remember everything in her life and tell it to her grandchildren. What struck me the most yesterday...was how my cousin said, "it doesnt matter if you dont recognise me...so long as I can recognise you"
Can be true in a way...coz you know that no matter how forgetful you are, people still remember and love you. But if I put myself in my granny's shoes, I would be sad if I cant remember my grndchild's face but I remember her name and how she's related. Imagine forgetting your sister's face even after recognising her name and how much she means to you..YET not being able to show her how much you care for her...because you cant remember her. Hmmm
Thats why I started keeping a diary int he 1st place...call it a kid's idea of data entry. Download all past history in a diary(portable memory storage device...eg: CD?) so that you have more memory space in your hard drive to put it more recent memories.
So this phrase my cousins made has given me another inspiration for a song..dont know how I'll write it but we'll see how it goes.
As we waited for the dinner to start, all the cousins, except my uncle jeff and his family, was there...well minus a few usual absentees...and the 5 of us cousins got together to take a pic w granny. Granny was in a daze yesterday....white thin hair, frail small frame, dressed in her usual grannywear but w an extra thick jacket. we all towered over her as she sat in her wheelchair and strained to look up at us. Oner of her eyes cloudy and glossy...and the other, a glass eye.
Yesterday, she received a cup of tea from her grandson in law. the 3rd one in the family. Her smile was there but thin. maybe she didnt know why she was smiling or meant to smile...
Love my grandma
God Bless
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Songs
Tried to destress by looking at my songs....edited alot fo them and painfull striked out alot of them too...I'll keep them somewhere...just not in the book...
Seems weird how I wrote so many songs of my ex within a year. Only some of them seem good enough to make into songs actually...Oh well...Tried to write new songs while on the ship but I guess too many things and too little time & energy. Didnt have the mood except to come up w a concept...the Princes of Africa...
Destressing now. Just got a reply from my BBBro and its our closeness that brings comfort and ease for me to speak my views. Im really really glad that I got tis chance to talk to him. :) I doubt the conversation (via msgs) will last long but its good while it lasted.
Cheerios then.
God Bless!
Seems weird how I wrote so many songs of my ex within a year. Only some of them seem good enough to make into songs actually...Oh well...Tried to write new songs while on the ship but I guess too many things and too little time & energy. Didnt have the mood except to come up w a concept...the Princes of Africa...
Destressing now. Just got a reply from my BBBro and its our closeness that brings comfort and ease for me to speak my views. Im really really glad that I got tis chance to talk to him. :) I doubt the conversation (via msgs) will last long but its good while it lasted.
Cheerios then.
God Bless!
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Yesterday
yesterday was a SUPER bad day....I think I was in minor depression. Dont worry I wont do anything dangerously stupid...just bang my head against the laptop.
Couldnt take it so I called Ian & Stephan to meet them for lunch (they were coming down anyway) and I let my steam out in FC2.
Its really funny actually...just yesterday, I was blessed to have these 2 bros w me, blessed to get a chat w my angel, w my saa colleague/ex teacher, and w my ex saa colleague. He above all, feels the same way and I guess that really made me think about what I should do in life...even what I should consider further studying...After work, I sent Ian to his work place...call it boredom. Sat at harbourfront mac donalds, doing the moberly newsletter. Its a pain in the *ss but I actually enjoy coming up w ideas to fill up those pages.
Amongst the bros & sisters I have who are studying in SP now, I believe Ian would be the closest to me. He's my part-time conscience and full-time timekeeper. And seriously having looked at all the times he and stephan and fran have helped me, I know Im blessed to have them. Really. Thank you God!
But speaking of bros....the one bro whom Ive been thinking of recently and whom has always been one of the bros whom I never hold my real thoughts back from, is Pravin, my bestest best bro. The blessing God gives me to have this precious bro of mine find time in his busy schedule (2 jobs, studying and meeting w frens) to leave me a msg on frenster. And of all timings, at this time of dire need to talk. Of course, Id rather talk to him on the phone coz there wudnt be a cap on *no of charcters* but you take what you have. Thanks God & thanks BBBro.
To all my bros & sisters, I love you. I know all of you have your busy schedules and personal lives and I wish you all the best in life and that you're happy with where you are now. I remember every memory that we share and because of that, it makes our bond ever endearing. :) If I could only write a song to attribute to you guys..would be the song that never ends hahahaha literally. I am truly blessed! In fact, if I think about the no of frens I have whom I can call for "fun laughter peace and joy" doesnt seem many....nonetheless I know I can always count on my bros & sisters
Lotsa love & God Bless!
Ning
Couldnt take it so I called Ian & Stephan to meet them for lunch (they were coming down anyway) and I let my steam out in FC2.
Its really funny actually...just yesterday, I was blessed to have these 2 bros w me, blessed to get a chat w my angel, w my saa colleague/ex teacher, and w my ex saa colleague. He above all, feels the same way and I guess that really made me think about what I should do in life...even what I should consider further studying...After work, I sent Ian to his work place...call it boredom. Sat at harbourfront mac donalds, doing the moberly newsletter. Its a pain in the *ss but I actually enjoy coming up w ideas to fill up those pages.
Amongst the bros & sisters I have who are studying in SP now, I believe Ian would be the closest to me. He's my part-time conscience and full-time timekeeper. And seriously having looked at all the times he and stephan and fran have helped me, I know Im blessed to have them. Really. Thank you God!
But speaking of bros....the one bro whom Ive been thinking of recently and whom has always been one of the bros whom I never hold my real thoughts back from, is Pravin, my bestest best bro. The blessing God gives me to have this precious bro of mine find time in his busy schedule (2 jobs, studying and meeting w frens) to leave me a msg on frenster. And of all timings, at this time of dire need to talk. Of course, Id rather talk to him on the phone coz there wudnt be a cap on *no of charcters* but you take what you have. Thanks God & thanks BBBro.
To all my bros & sisters, I love you. I know all of you have your busy schedules and personal lives and I wish you all the best in life and that you're happy with where you are now. I remember every memory that we share and because of that, it makes our bond ever endearing. :) If I could only write a song to attribute to you guys..would be the song that never ends hahahaha literally. I am truly blessed! In fact, if I think about the no of frens I have whom I can call for "fun laughter peace and joy" doesnt seem many....nonetheless I know I can always count on my bros & sisters
Lotsa love & God Bless!
Ning
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Church
Its sunday and Im in school. It sucks big time knowing that tomorrow is monday and work is waiting to greet me with open arms...I guess work right now..seems like a rendition of Moses Lim or some ang moh fat dude with buck teeth and potato chip crumbs clinging to his front teeth....Ewwww
I teared in church...friday's and saturday's reality check caught me and I was feeling the contstant dilemma of what to do in life..not to mention singlehood pinches you hard once in awhile. This time, the tears of joy were mixed with a tinge of sadness and throwing everything to God again. I said, "God, hear me. my heart & my soul, I give you control" as the song goes...
Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fails,
Neverending your glory goes beyond all fears....
after the tears...I had an inner peace or maybe inner tiredness...
The 1st thing I saw when I got into my blog, was a comment from a fellow Poly Forum teacher. Havent the faintest idea of how she found me but what she said about my blog being encouraging....huh? Emm Maybe for some I guess. I must say that on the contrary, her comment was what encouraged me. Strange huh. :) Thanks Ivy!
The recently ended Poly Forum was a bag of conflicting opinions for myself and so many other people esp teh students. I watched the students shooting each other during presentations, I held my tongue tight to prevent myself from shooting at them too but the beauty of a forum like this si that when they watch each other get shot, they learn to view things in a full perspective. Their ideas are further scrutinized and through all that QnA etc...the projects are polished and seem more reasonable (compared to their original ideas) I see my students in a better light and I see other poly students in a better light too. Im soo glad to have my bro and sis there (Ian & Francine) and of course all the other SP students I look after. I guess for Ian, Fran & I, this trip is another great way to spend time together. They have been the best of help to me thru the trip.
THANKS GUYS!!!! :D Love you both!
Aside from that, the initial long wait at Harbourfront and constant shifting of places to Q up...was very very irritating. But guess what! The student's leadership skills kicked in! or rather, my "siblings" leadership skills kicked in. Ian and Fran and Ruby and Andrew started rounding up allt he students to shift as a group and while we could have cursed at both polys standing before and behind us, I shut them up and got them to "just do it" Boy am I proud of my students!
*yah roll your eyes around will you!*
BTW, I hate to say this but Ive got students calling me *mum* and *grandma* The only response I gave, raise my head and hands to the sky and cry, "God! Dont let htem do this to me! This is unfair! I dont need to go through this!" And you know what? I think God might have been chuckling...what a sense of humour! Jesus dont laugh!
I wanted to bring my songwriting bk and laptop tp do work but guess I didnt realyl have a chance. I wud ahve enjoyed the trip more had not it been teh fact that I had to do patroling duties etc...forced my "SP staff" identity out and stopped me from having fun w the rest.
The last day was the big day for Ian to present and I must sayt hat if not for him, I wud still questiont he team's presentation standard. He is a good crapper.
The performances and presentations at TP were good and even I cheered for all of them. At teh end of the whole trip I believe that the students from allt he polys have become closer. Of course it always does at the end of the day, esp to those whom work to make their presentation rock solid. I looked at the whole sea of poly students after the whole thing and all I could do was "rock on" hand sign
All in all, I enjoyed the whole trip..inot for reality boxing me and saying,"Aye! Your paper work can build mount everest already lor!"
I guess what is lacking fromt he whole trip, was my lack of chance to really sit down and write my song....or to stand at the railings and feel the wind blow by. Plus...somewhere inside me, I still missed Pravin. Being on a ship where he always wanted...made me think of him and how happy he would be on this ship. I guess had all this happened when we were both together, it would ahve been the best cruise trip..emm best first-time cruise trip for me. Even as I got off on friday, I thought about all this. tyeah yeah yeah I know...get over it..yeah...
Last thing I was glad to have come across through this whole Poly Forum, I met my sec sch junior who is working part-time in TP now, Edmund, and I met my 2002 Poly Forum Facilitator, Samual. I also bumped into another sec school schoolmate, Zhaoyong who was on the same cruise trip. We took some time to sit down and chat through the trip and Im happy for his closeness to God. we taked about God and our problems in Christianity...and how our other schoolmates are doing etc...
Emmm...all these memories..taste like sweet wine in my heart. :)
God, Father....its increasingly saddening to go back to work every monday and I know I havnt beent he best staff and once in awhile I wonder what to do w my life so that I dont feel this way. I know I have to look to you like how Simon Peter looked to you as he walked on water. Daddy, it feels good to see you as my father who can do anything...help me to remember to look to you and trust on you for guidance and wisdom. Help me to understand myself God and understand my way in life that will help me to both find pleasure in work and glorify you.
I believe that I still wanna work with students...with youth, even though they can be a handful...hmmm
Ning
I teared in church...friday's and saturday's reality check caught me and I was feeling the contstant dilemma of what to do in life..not to mention singlehood pinches you hard once in awhile. This time, the tears of joy were mixed with a tinge of sadness and throwing everything to God again. I said, "God, hear me. my heart & my soul, I give you control" as the song goes...
Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fails,
Neverending your glory goes beyond all fears....
after the tears...I had an inner peace or maybe inner tiredness...
The 1st thing I saw when I got into my blog, was a comment from a fellow Poly Forum teacher. Havent the faintest idea of how she found me but what she said about my blog being encouraging....huh? Emm Maybe for some I guess. I must say that on the contrary, her comment was what encouraged me. Strange huh. :) Thanks Ivy!
The recently ended Poly Forum was a bag of conflicting opinions for myself and so many other people esp teh students. I watched the students shooting each other during presentations, I held my tongue tight to prevent myself from shooting at them too but the beauty of a forum like this si that when they watch each other get shot, they learn to view things in a full perspective. Their ideas are further scrutinized and through all that QnA etc...the projects are polished and seem more reasonable (compared to their original ideas) I see my students in a better light and I see other poly students in a better light too. Im soo glad to have my bro and sis there (Ian & Francine) and of course all the other SP students I look after. I guess for Ian, Fran & I, this trip is another great way to spend time together. They have been the best of help to me thru the trip.
THANKS GUYS!!!! :D Love you both!
Aside from that, the initial long wait at Harbourfront and constant shifting of places to Q up...was very very irritating. But guess what! The student's leadership skills kicked in! or rather, my "siblings" leadership skills kicked in. Ian and Fran and Ruby and Andrew started rounding up allt he students to shift as a group and while we could have cursed at both polys standing before and behind us, I shut them up and got them to "just do it" Boy am I proud of my students!
*yah roll your eyes around will you!*
BTW, I hate to say this but Ive got students calling me *mum* and *grandma* The only response I gave, raise my head and hands to the sky and cry, "God! Dont let htem do this to me! This is unfair! I dont need to go through this!" And you know what? I think God might have been chuckling...what a sense of humour! Jesus dont laugh!
I wanted to bring my songwriting bk and laptop tp do work but guess I didnt realyl have a chance. I wud ahve enjoyed the trip more had not it been teh fact that I had to do patroling duties etc...forced my "SP staff" identity out and stopped me from having fun w the rest.
The last day was the big day for Ian to present and I must sayt hat if not for him, I wud still questiont he team's presentation standard. He is a good crapper.
The performances and presentations at TP were good and even I cheered for all of them. At teh end of the whole trip I believe that the students from allt he polys have become closer. Of course it always does at the end of the day, esp to those whom work to make their presentation rock solid. I looked at the whole sea of poly students after the whole thing and all I could do was "rock on" hand sign
All in all, I enjoyed the whole trip..inot for reality boxing me and saying,"Aye! Your paper work can build mount everest already lor!"
I guess what is lacking fromt he whole trip, was my lack of chance to really sit down and write my song....or to stand at the railings and feel the wind blow by. Plus...somewhere inside me, I still missed Pravin. Being on a ship where he always wanted...made me think of him and how happy he would be on this ship. I guess had all this happened when we were both together, it would ahve been the best cruise trip..emm best first-time cruise trip for me. Even as I got off on friday, I thought about all this. tyeah yeah yeah I know...get over it..yeah...
Last thing I was glad to have come across through this whole Poly Forum, I met my sec sch junior who is working part-time in TP now, Edmund, and I met my 2002 Poly Forum Facilitator, Samual. I also bumped into another sec school schoolmate, Zhaoyong who was on the same cruise trip. We took some time to sit down and chat through the trip and Im happy for his closeness to God. we taked about God and our problems in Christianity...and how our other schoolmates are doing etc...
Emmm...all these memories..taste like sweet wine in my heart. :)
God, Father....its increasingly saddening to go back to work every monday and I know I havnt beent he best staff and once in awhile I wonder what to do w my life so that I dont feel this way. I know I have to look to you like how Simon Peter looked to you as he walked on water. Daddy, it feels good to see you as my father who can do anything...help me to remember to look to you and trust on you for guidance and wisdom. Help me to understand myself God and understand my way in life that will help me to both find pleasure in work and glorify you.
I believe that I still wanna work with students...with youth, even though they can be a handful...hmmm
Ning
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Time time time time..God why do we only have 24 hours a day?
Time is running out man! I need more time!
manamanah du du dududu......im stressed...
Need a holiday.....sentosa wud be sufficient....rollerblading....emmm suntan....
Im crazy.....
Got a cruise next week but before i get there, the work to do is crazy....oh well...cant wait for Poly Forum to be over...
God Bless
manamanah du du dududu......im stressed...
Need a holiday.....sentosa wud be sufficient....rollerblading....emmm suntan....
Im crazy.....
Got a cruise next week but before i get there, the work to do is crazy....oh well...cant wait for Poly Forum to be over...
God Bless
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Im bored but confused
Came back to the office and saw a enormous amnt of emails in my mail box! Evidently, alot of emails have been flying back and forth while I was gone.
Got loads to do so I'll keep it short.
Went to have a look at pohloong's frenster yesterday and it led me to realize that while alot fo us found him irritating during the musical, alot of people still loved him and missed him. Sorta makes me wish I had known him better...of course if that happened, I wudnt be that cool abt his death. I wud have cried.
In 2 weeks time, I'll be on a cruise, Poly Forum, so dont bother calling me. It being my 1st time on a cruise, sorta makes it more exciting but obviously im not there to play. In fact..chances are that I will be bringing my laptop there. wokr work work...
my table is once again in a mess....haizzz
I made an observation of myself for the past few weeks...Im such a workaholic that Ive lost touch w my frens. The only frens I hang out with these days...are those whom do to church w me and those whom are still studying in SP. Sad?...emmm yep...very sad.
I know Ive got a helluva lot of frens arnd Spore and even overseas but when it comes down to me having time....its so rare that when I do have time, it takes me a few minutes to decide on what to do w it! Damn! And last minute calls to frens dont often work. Everyone has their schedules penned down...except me. I live day by day...really...
Just the other day, one of my bros decided to announce to the whole world that I needed a bf. Haizz w bros like that...who needs enemies? Who needs frens even! Hahahah
Then again, I still believe that God does the calculations for me. Not that the right guy would drop down from the sky, hit me on the head and shout, "Im here!" Nope..nothing like that...
More of him and I getting to know each other from something and starting off as frens.
As the song "all my life" goes.."and i promise to never fall in love with a stranger"...yep..thats abt right.
Wonder how my frens and bros and sistas are. I now some are having ahard time with their personal probs....and sadly, Im almost never there....Im sorry guys...really sorry...dont do anything stupid okay.please? too many suicides have happened recently..too many deaths...
even 1 death is 1 too many...
Feel like going sentosa again...feel like taking a day off from work and focusing on my thoughts...my ever messy mind....
Lastly, Thank you God for bringing all of us back safely from Malaysia. Anything can happen to us if you let it and because you love us sooo much, you would never let Satan come near us. Preserve my memories of the trip God because they make good stories to tell. :)
God Bless
Got loads to do so I'll keep it short.
Went to have a look at pohloong's frenster yesterday and it led me to realize that while alot fo us found him irritating during the musical, alot of people still loved him and missed him. Sorta makes me wish I had known him better...of course if that happened, I wudnt be that cool abt his death. I wud have cried.
In 2 weeks time, I'll be on a cruise, Poly Forum, so dont bother calling me. It being my 1st time on a cruise, sorta makes it more exciting but obviously im not there to play. In fact..chances are that I will be bringing my laptop there. wokr work work...
my table is once again in a mess....haizzz
I made an observation of myself for the past few weeks...Im such a workaholic that Ive lost touch w my frens. The only frens I hang out with these days...are those whom do to church w me and those whom are still studying in SP. Sad?...emmm yep...very sad.
I know Ive got a helluva lot of frens arnd Spore and even overseas but when it comes down to me having time....its so rare that when I do have time, it takes me a few minutes to decide on what to do w it! Damn! And last minute calls to frens dont often work. Everyone has their schedules penned down...except me. I live day by day...really...
Just the other day, one of my bros decided to announce to the whole world that I needed a bf. Haizz w bros like that...who needs enemies? Who needs frens even! Hahahah
Then again, I still believe that God does the calculations for me. Not that the right guy would drop down from the sky, hit me on the head and shout, "Im here!" Nope..nothing like that...
More of him and I getting to know each other from something and starting off as frens.
As the song "all my life" goes.."and i promise to never fall in love with a stranger"...yep..thats abt right.
Wonder how my frens and bros and sistas are. I now some are having ahard time with their personal probs....and sadly, Im almost never there....Im sorry guys...really sorry...dont do anything stupid okay.please? too many suicides have happened recently..too many deaths...
even 1 death is 1 too many...
Feel like going sentosa again...feel like taking a day off from work and focusing on my thoughts...my ever messy mind....
Lastly, Thank you God for bringing all of us back safely from Malaysia. Anything can happen to us if you let it and because you love us sooo much, you would never let Satan come near us. Preserve my memories of the trip God because they make good stories to tell. :)
God Bless
Monday, September 03, 2007
LTC/Maybe Im too harsh/Back to the harsh reality/etc
This entry would be super long if I cud include everything I wanted to say...nonetheless..some things are not easy to put in words....
for starters, LTC (Leadership Training Camp) to Sungei Slim was awesome. Had a chance to do super fun and interesting stuff like white water rafting, trekking in the rainforests... The trekking was hours long and by the time we got back to our bunks, I cud feel the strain in my legs. White water rafting was enormously fun, from grade 1 to grade 3 rapids...I almost tipped over..got partially submerged in water before my students fulled me up. We helped each other through the rivers....it was sooo damn fun! Cant explain it! So glad I went.
The other interesting bit abt it was that I was rooming w angel. That in itself is an adventure coz she super giggly and funny and high when she's out of the office. Oh well...
Upon returning back, getting through customs and finally receiving a local telephone connection, we found out that a student we knew....had committed suicide. My first reaction was whether they were joking....nope....He really is dead.
I remember him as an irritating idiot but he wasnt bad enough for me to want him dead. Immediately, we made plans to go for his wake once getting back to SP.
Going to a wake has never been so weird when all the people there are younger than me. In normal wakes, the people there tend to be family and friends who are old...coz the one who died ends to be older...nonetheless...everyone there was a teen....in memoir of another teen...
We walked to his coffin and it being an open coffin....I expected to see his face...his menacing yet peaceful face...but what I saw...was the face of someone who didnt look like him at all. I dont know how he fell....it took me a few seconds to gather my thoughts and move away... I wanted to look closer really....may sound sick..but I wanted to certify that it was him.
On the pillars were posters made by his juniors or classmates etc...dedicating their love and misses to him. "Nexts year's A Div Championship is for you" ....
Because he's not close to me, the lack of reality that he is no longer in this world, doesnt hit as hard...nontheless...having just got back from Sungei Slim, it wasnt exactly the best thing to hear...it was a hard knock into reality again...
I remember having told my team mates abt never to take what we have for granted....this was a good example.....
To Poh Loong:
You will be my next song
From Ning
part2 next entry
for starters, LTC (Leadership Training Camp) to Sungei Slim was awesome. Had a chance to do super fun and interesting stuff like white water rafting, trekking in the rainforests... The trekking was hours long and by the time we got back to our bunks, I cud feel the strain in my legs. White water rafting was enormously fun, from grade 1 to grade 3 rapids...I almost tipped over..got partially submerged in water before my students fulled me up. We helped each other through the rivers....it was sooo damn fun! Cant explain it! So glad I went.
The other interesting bit abt it was that I was rooming w angel. That in itself is an adventure coz she super giggly and funny and high when she's out of the office. Oh well...
Upon returning back, getting through customs and finally receiving a local telephone connection, we found out that a student we knew....had committed suicide. My first reaction was whether they were joking....nope....He really is dead.
I remember him as an irritating idiot but he wasnt bad enough for me to want him dead. Immediately, we made plans to go for his wake once getting back to SP.
Going to a wake has never been so weird when all the people there are younger than me. In normal wakes, the people there tend to be family and friends who are old...coz the one who died ends to be older...nonetheless...everyone there was a teen....in memoir of another teen...
We walked to his coffin and it being an open coffin....I expected to see his face...his menacing yet peaceful face...but what I saw...was the face of someone who didnt look like him at all. I dont know how he fell....it took me a few seconds to gather my thoughts and move away... I wanted to look closer really....may sound sick..but I wanted to certify that it was him.
On the pillars were posters made by his juniors or classmates etc...dedicating their love and misses to him. "Nexts year's A Div Championship is for you" ....
Because he's not close to me, the lack of reality that he is no longer in this world, doesnt hit as hard...nontheless...having just got back from Sungei Slim, it wasnt exactly the best thing to hear...it was a hard knock into reality again...
I remember having told my team mates abt never to take what we have for granted....this was a good example.....
To Poh Loong:
You will be my next song
From Ning
part2 next entry
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