Its Friday again! Another chance to look at my day n change certain things I do or did or might do. For the past few days Ive been dissappointed with myself and I think I might have to prep talk myself into a better me. :)
There are some stuff that Im hoping to finish int he weekend and I need to talk myself into do it... :P Hehehehe
Got tuition soon and got a surprise for my tuition kid coz its childrens day :) anyways..after tuition i'll start my reflection. :/
LOVE
Friday, September 30, 2005
Thursday, September 29, 2005
have a break! have a kit kat!
K lunch break now...bit sleepy coz of the food but actually only ate kaya n butter toast n 2 half boiled eggs. Healthy? hmm dont know..let me count the calories n I'll tell you :P
Got an update from my bro...church fren. For those fo you who dont know, he's got a gf in the same church but his parents are against it coz of status issue or...coz she doesnt seem like a good girl? k I admit not knowing the exact details but heres wat I know...that whatever they are using as a reason to back their insecurities...is false...is uneccessary...is ridiculous and is hurting both of my church frens. To continue w this story, my bro will be sent to USA to study...No prizes for one of the reasons why...(at least thats what i feel) It sucks... it really sucks... And just to make things suckier...their chinese...my own race...I wonder if I'll get called up for discrimination...nope.
I stand by the view that if you want to make things work, you can. you just got to tahan the rough roads...after all, who's gonna live ur life but yourself? If thats the case..you have to be the one to make mistakes, to make decisions, to work for it n if needs be, to regret. No mother or father or uncle or auntie can help you live your life ...(to be straight) they will die before you do...and most prob, die before you get your own grandchildren or see your kids marry...(judging by the rate singporeans get married n reproduce) When you die, they're not gonna be there to tell you that ACCORDING to the books, you lived a good life. You will have to answer that qn urself.
Anyway..enough of that...makes my blood boil. Im better now. having mroe work to do and its great for me actually. :) Getting chances to write...to organise...Its really the intial stages of having to call pple up for quotes that Im abit scared of...
My aikido is getting better...I can back roll now!!! :D Now I gotta try my forward roll :D Then soon...I gotta perfect my other moves. According to the Oh Sensei (The originator of Aikido) you have to try the move on 1000 diff pple, to perfect a move. Hmmm how many frens do I have? Hehehehehehe K lets start w those whom Im closest with hahahaha
Plus, Im contemplating on going to the Gym these days...Hope it'll work for me heheheh
LOVE
Got an update from my bro...church fren. For those fo you who dont know, he's got a gf in the same church but his parents are against it coz of status issue or...coz she doesnt seem like a good girl? k I admit not knowing the exact details but heres wat I know...that whatever they are using as a reason to back their insecurities...is false...is uneccessary...is ridiculous and is hurting both of my church frens. To continue w this story, my bro will be sent to USA to study...No prizes for one of the reasons why...(at least thats what i feel) It sucks... it really sucks... And just to make things suckier...their chinese...my own race...I wonder if I'll get called up for discrimination...nope.
I stand by the view that if you want to make things work, you can. you just got to tahan the rough roads...after all, who's gonna live ur life but yourself? If thats the case..you have to be the one to make mistakes, to make decisions, to work for it n if needs be, to regret. No mother or father or uncle or auntie can help you live your life ...(to be straight) they will die before you do...and most prob, die before you get your own grandchildren or see your kids marry...(judging by the rate singporeans get married n reproduce) When you die, they're not gonna be there to tell you that ACCORDING to the books, you lived a good life. You will have to answer that qn urself.
Anyway..enough of that...makes my blood boil. Im better now. having mroe work to do and its great for me actually. :) Getting chances to write...to organise...Its really the intial stages of having to call pple up for quotes that Im abit scared of...
My aikido is getting better...I can back roll now!!! :D Now I gotta try my forward roll :D Then soon...I gotta perfect my other moves. According to the Oh Sensei (The originator of Aikido) you have to try the move on 1000 diff pple, to perfect a move. Hmmm how many frens do I have? Hehehehehehe K lets start w those whom Im closest with hahahaha
Plus, Im contemplating on going to the Gym these days...Hope it'll work for me heheheh
LOVE
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
wat a day...
Arms aching from yesterday's aikido....sigh
Was writing my diary to destress this morning n out of nowhere...my ex smses me...yes i did sms him few days ago..to tell his cousin in law abt Hrithik Roshan. Honestly didnt expect an sms from him. Anyhow, we did exchange a efw smses and everything was quite cool n composed...no snide remarks from me..no hard-feelings...until i called him (my fault) We talked somemore..abt comperes, abt sch in the past...how fun it was (didnt talk too much abt it obviously), work, gave him abit of advice...etc..in 10mins, we ran out of topics to talk bt. Not coz there wasnt stuff to be said, just that they werent what we cud say anymore..at least thats how i feel now. Watever, it is...it felt quite sad that we had to have a efw sec of silence until i said, "Okay Im gonna go off..u tc"
Is it just me or did he sound sad? hahahahah It's just me hahahaha Anyway..there weer soo many probs he kept to himself even when we weer together. it got on my nerves really but I guess you just shrug it aside n get used to that. :)
Anyway...I do know that no matter how i think...things are already like that. He n his mum aer strong-willed. Not necessarily a bad thing btw. Wateva i do now, wont change a thing..so why bother? :)
I still respect his mum n his cousin sis in law. :) *SALUTE*
Got a spliting headache now... :( Maybe too much thinking..wanetd to write songs today..but I think..gotta postpone it to another less painful day.
Im sorry guys..for putting up w all my "ex" stories....Really sorry.... Maybe one day..I wudnt be compelled to talk abt "ex"stories anymore...
love
Was writing my diary to destress this morning n out of nowhere...my ex smses me...yes i did sms him few days ago..to tell his cousin in law abt Hrithik Roshan. Honestly didnt expect an sms from him. Anyhow, we did exchange a efw smses and everything was quite cool n composed...no snide remarks from me..no hard-feelings...until i called him (my fault) We talked somemore..abt comperes, abt sch in the past...how fun it was (didnt talk too much abt it obviously), work, gave him abit of advice...etc..in 10mins, we ran out of topics to talk bt. Not coz there wasnt stuff to be said, just that they werent what we cud say anymore..at least thats how i feel now. Watever, it is...it felt quite sad that we had to have a efw sec of silence until i said, "Okay Im gonna go off..u tc"
Is it just me or did he sound sad? hahahahah It's just me hahahaha Anyway..there weer soo many probs he kept to himself even when we weer together. it got on my nerves really but I guess you just shrug it aside n get used to that. :)
Anyway...I do know that no matter how i think...things are already like that. He n his mum aer strong-willed. Not necessarily a bad thing btw. Wateva i do now, wont change a thing..so why bother? :)
I still respect his mum n his cousin sis in law. :) *SALUTE*
Got a spliting headache now... :( Maybe too much thinking..wanetd to write songs today..but I think..gotta postpone it to another less painful day.
Im sorry guys..for putting up w all my "ex" stories....Really sorry.... Maybe one day..I wudnt be compelled to talk abt "ex"stories anymore...
love
Woohooo!
I finally got the In The End ( Indian version)!!!!
Heres a few pics that we took in the office:
Before that...
Disclaimer: those arent real bulls testicles...and I did not really get the $10..Drat!
Fear Factor Task 1:
Finsh up a bulls testicle in 5 mins.
(its really banana balls)
10 Years Service to Ning! S$10...
PS: I was told to look excited....
LOVE!
Btw...I think Miao Miao is pregnant! Wohooo! The father better be responsible man! Wahahaha
Heres a few pics that we took in the office:
Before that...
Disclaimer: those arent real bulls testicles...and I did not really get the $10..Drat!
Fear Factor Task 1:
Finsh up a bulls testicle in 5 mins.
(its really banana balls)
10 Years Service to Ning! S$10...PS: I was told to look excited....
LOVE!
Btw...I think Miao Miao is pregnant! Wohooo! The father better be responsible man! Wahahaha
Sunday, September 25, 2005
If God could hear me now...please help...
I just got back from the hospital...my auntie is sick.
The hospital always has a way of getting people to realize how fragile life is and how our loved ones can be so close to leaving us. I saw my auntie lying on the bed sleeping. waking up to get a drink (she can only drink now..no solid food) Brings back memories of my grandpa and grandmas being in hospital...how some of them were in dangerous conditions yet...we could only deceive ourselves and be positive.
My auntie has been fighting cancer for years...since my pri sch days i think. Every 5 years, it comes back to haunt her....bone cancer (dont know teh right term for it)...it breaks my heart...now..she's got stomach cancer... Never have i seen a person get 2 cancers at a go! How can anyone be fighting something like this sooo long, only to hae it come back every 5 years?!?!?!
How long more can she survive? Yet....everytime i used to see her, she was full of love....maybe thats how she chose to deal w it.
As usual, my other auntie (her eldest sister) would be there, looking after her...same for their parents. Its always beent eh big sister who stays in w them. I cant help but admire my big auntie. Wat dedication...
My uncle came in (younger auntie's husband /bf) He looks more dazed and weak....obviously...after her "food" he stodd beside her, her head on his chest and his head on her head as he slowly pat her back n made her burp. She hasnt eaten for a long time...too much air.
Honestly....I dont know if the cancer will ever go away. Im assuming that the bone cancer is getting more resillient to medication...
I fear the time that I wud have to see one of my family members go...be it my grandpa or grandmas or aunties or uncles. ive already lost one auntie to cancer cum stroke 5 years ago (in hong kong) Thisi guess...wud be what i fear most in life...to lose the ones i love...
God....please let my auntie get well...restore her back to her healthy n cheerful self...dont torment her with having to live every day knowing that she will die of cancer... :(
love
The hospital always has a way of getting people to realize how fragile life is and how our loved ones can be so close to leaving us. I saw my auntie lying on the bed sleeping. waking up to get a drink (she can only drink now..no solid food) Brings back memories of my grandpa and grandmas being in hospital...how some of them were in dangerous conditions yet...we could only deceive ourselves and be positive.
My auntie has been fighting cancer for years...since my pri sch days i think. Every 5 years, it comes back to haunt her....bone cancer (dont know teh right term for it)...it breaks my heart...now..she's got stomach cancer... Never have i seen a person get 2 cancers at a go! How can anyone be fighting something like this sooo long, only to hae it come back every 5 years?!?!?!
How long more can she survive? Yet....everytime i used to see her, she was full of love....maybe thats how she chose to deal w it.
As usual, my other auntie (her eldest sister) would be there, looking after her...same for their parents. Its always beent eh big sister who stays in w them. I cant help but admire my big auntie. Wat dedication...
My uncle came in (younger auntie's husband /bf) He looks more dazed and weak....obviously...after her "food" he stodd beside her, her head on his chest and his head on her head as he slowly pat her back n made her burp. She hasnt eaten for a long time...too much air.
Honestly....I dont know if the cancer will ever go away. Im assuming that the bone cancer is getting more resillient to medication...
I fear the time that I wud have to see one of my family members go...be it my grandpa or grandmas or aunties or uncles. ive already lost one auntie to cancer cum stroke 5 years ago (in hong kong) Thisi guess...wud be what i fear most in life...to lose the ones i love...
God....please let my auntie get well...restore her back to her healthy n cheerful self...dont torment her with having to live every day knowing that she will die of cancer... :(
love
Saturday, September 24, 2005
I hate this!!!
I few days ago, Id haveb een able to advise anyone on their relationship probs..console them...Now, Im stuck in my own pit. For the pastf ew days, Ive sink back into an endless pit that Ive tried so desperately to overcome and today...I was the same...
Because of what had happened..Ive realized that Ive stayed away from a few things...certain movies..certain songs..etc...but also..Malaysia. Before I go any further...let me apologize to all my "malaysia boleh" frens...Let me explain.
Was watching Asha Gill's 6 degress show (i think thats what they call it) and she was in Malaysia. The night lights, music, people..etc..all glorious! Everything good and everything fun...only that I wudnt dare are bear to step inside Malaysia or KL to see it. Dare I say that I hate Malaysia? No... Dare I say that I dont like Malaysia? No...Dare I say that I resent Malaysia? Yes...abit...I dare say that Malaysia is a place that I wud love to go and have fun in...to dance...to slack...to walk around..to have a holiday! Except...it brings to mind sooo many memories that I wudnt dare to step in there and have fun...for fear I wud cry....esp at night.
And what sucks is....I dont want to feel this! How can I let one single incident make me feel sooo much against a country? Yet...Malaysia..symbolizes everything I want to have yet I cant. Its not that i hate Singapore k. I love Singapore!
I thought to myself abt what makes Singaporeans the way they are...n Malaysians the wayt hey are...both gd-looking, beautiful and yet..very smart n fun-loving. Why do Malaysians have such a sense of positivity, sense of fun n dance n music, sense of racial harmony...yet! Singapore that is just "next door" can often be racial tolerant or silent/subsurface racists... Yes..I still hurt...yes..Im brooding over things again. Yimes like these Im glad my ex doesnt read all this. Makes me sound like a over-persistent, stubborn, love-sick idiot. :( Dare I say I hate myself for this? Yes...
Time and time again...I see the ugliness of my own race...my dad, my cousin, (who knows whoelse in my family is racist...silent racist), my frens (one or two)...its dissappointing n deeply disturbing...makes my blood boil n heart break. :( I guess Singapore never changes...whether you want it to or not.
You know..Im starting tot hink...that maybe I'll be racist too! hahahahaagainst my own race hahahahSpoke to my old frenwhen we met up on new years day this year...we were talking abt how I like Indian guys n she likes malay ones hahah (she's chinese) we both agreed that chinese guys in spore..just dont have...the built...the looks...the brains...n the talent...hahahahaha K well the ones we know that is. By indian guys..I mean...properly brought up indians as appose to indian ah bengs. LIkewise for the chinese.
BTW! Funny story! Hahahahaha Was talking to this colleague of mine and he's indian muslim. He's quite old w grandsons n all n Iw as trying to speak to him in tamil (not knowing he knows more malay) He was surprised that Id know tamil and when I told him I had indian frens, he asked me if I had an indian bf as well hahahahah (HAD) Yep! I HAD 1! hahahaha we talked abt how he converses more in malay n english than tamil and all of a sudden, he recommends that I go to indonesia. Why? Coz there are lot of pple there w Pakistani heritage! Hahahaha I asked him why and the only response I got from him is, " Handsome! Handsome!" Wahahahahahahahaha Yeah I was caught off guard on that hahahaha but I guess he saw how interested Iw as int he indian culture n lang. My colleagues shake their heads when they hear me exclaim to a gd bhangra song wahahahahha Coz im soo much of an indian hahahha Yet..how many of them actually feel a sense of discomfort or wrong in my loving the indian culture? Dont know! Dont wanna find out! What does it matter? Like I told my fren today...I wud be just as chinese even if I wasnt indian influenced...my chinese is as rotten...but even now..I do listen to chinese music. Thanks Marican! I'll take ur suggestion on going to Indo if and when I feel like spiteing my dad to his death. Yes DAD! I LIED! I DIDNT go to sch to play basketball today! I went CLUBBING! In the MORNING!!! Even BEFORE the clubs open!!!! My frens are ALL INDIAN and they DRINK N SMOKE N HANKY PANKY (This comment is in pit of anger and sarcasm to my dad's racist comment...no insults intended)
Anyway..I know Im rambling..and some of you mgiht already feel like Im close from getting over thigns (i think youre right) this is me....someone who threw her heart away..too far...now she's having a prob catching it back...God help us all...Today...I feel like a bitch n am PMSing
SHRUGS!
LOVE
Because of what had happened..Ive realized that Ive stayed away from a few things...certain movies..certain songs..etc...but also..Malaysia. Before I go any further...let me apologize to all my "malaysia boleh" frens...Let me explain.
Was watching Asha Gill's 6 degress show (i think thats what they call it) and she was in Malaysia. The night lights, music, people..etc..all glorious! Everything good and everything fun...only that I wudnt dare are bear to step inside Malaysia or KL to see it. Dare I say that I hate Malaysia? No... Dare I say that I dont like Malaysia? No...Dare I say that I resent Malaysia? Yes...abit...I dare say that Malaysia is a place that I wud love to go and have fun in...to dance...to slack...to walk around..to have a holiday! Except...it brings to mind sooo many memories that I wudnt dare to step in there and have fun...for fear I wud cry....esp at night.
And what sucks is....I dont want to feel this! How can I let one single incident make me feel sooo much against a country? Yet...Malaysia..symbolizes everything I want to have yet I cant. Its not that i hate Singapore k. I love Singapore!
I thought to myself abt what makes Singaporeans the way they are...n Malaysians the wayt hey are...both gd-looking, beautiful and yet..very smart n fun-loving. Why do Malaysians have such a sense of positivity, sense of fun n dance n music, sense of racial harmony...yet! Singapore that is just "next door" can often be racial tolerant or silent/subsurface racists... Yes..I still hurt...yes..Im brooding over things again. Yimes like these Im glad my ex doesnt read all this. Makes me sound like a over-persistent, stubborn, love-sick idiot. :( Dare I say I hate myself for this? Yes...
Time and time again...I see the ugliness of my own race...my dad, my cousin, (who knows whoelse in my family is racist...silent racist), my frens (one or two)...its dissappointing n deeply disturbing...makes my blood boil n heart break. :( I guess Singapore never changes...whether you want it to or not.
You know..Im starting tot hink...that maybe I'll be racist too! hahahahaagainst my own race hahahahSpoke to my old frenwhen we met up on new years day this year...we were talking abt how I like Indian guys n she likes malay ones hahah (she's chinese) we both agreed that chinese guys in spore..just dont have...the built...the looks...the brains...n the talent...hahahahaha K well the ones we know that is. By indian guys..I mean...properly brought up indians as appose to indian ah bengs. LIkewise for the chinese.
BTW! Funny story! Hahahahaha Was talking to this colleague of mine and he's indian muslim. He's quite old w grandsons n all n Iw as trying to speak to him in tamil (not knowing he knows more malay) He was surprised that Id know tamil and when I told him I had indian frens, he asked me if I had an indian bf as well hahahahah (HAD) Yep! I HAD 1! hahahaha we talked abt how he converses more in malay n english than tamil and all of a sudden, he recommends that I go to indonesia. Why? Coz there are lot of pple there w Pakistani heritage! Hahahaha I asked him why and the only response I got from him is, " Handsome! Handsome!" Wahahahahahahahaha Yeah I was caught off guard on that hahahaha but I guess he saw how interested Iw as int he indian culture n lang. My colleagues shake their heads when they hear me exclaim to a gd bhangra song wahahahahha Coz im soo much of an indian hahahha Yet..how many of them actually feel a sense of discomfort or wrong in my loving the indian culture? Dont know! Dont wanna find out! What does it matter? Like I told my fren today...I wud be just as chinese even if I wasnt indian influenced...my chinese is as rotten...but even now..I do listen to chinese music. Thanks Marican! I'll take ur suggestion on going to Indo if and when I feel like spiteing my dad to his death. Yes DAD! I LIED! I DIDNT go to sch to play basketball today! I went CLUBBING! In the MORNING!!! Even BEFORE the clubs open!!!! My frens are ALL INDIAN and they DRINK N SMOKE N HANKY PANKY (This comment is in pit of anger and sarcasm to my dad's racist comment...no insults intended)
Anyway..I know Im rambling..and some of you mgiht already feel like Im close from getting over thigns (i think youre right) this is me....someone who threw her heart away..too far...now she's having a prob catching it back...God help us all...Today...I feel like a bitch n am PMSing
SHRUGS!
LOVE
Friday, September 23, 2005
A dream...or maybe a nightmare?
Hmmm an oxymoron dream?
I was talking to my boss and listening to her mp3..she has some very nice n long lost songs (reason why i call me hat i that I havnt heard them for ages n now ive finally found them)
Some r sad songs and she said that Im the kind that listens to sad songs n dwells on them n end up crying. I was protesting to that and I looked at my other colleague for support..only to be confirmed that i AM such a person!!!! Wahahahaha kk...come to think of it..maybe I am hehehehehe
Anyway..back to my dream. I dreamt that I had some how rather received a call from my ex and he was crying ont he phone. Upon deciding to visit him (who lives in sembawang to chua chu kang area) I had to cross teh spore river to get to his place (dreams are wacko) upon trying to WALK across the river...I realized that there were CROCODILES! Hahahah eventually...I didnt visit my ex...but he called again. Well..to be exact...it was my sista who called from his phone and said she had left my clothes n stuff at his place!!! And sooo I was SUPPOSED to collect them. The story goes on n on until I do meet him and well...lets sayt he end isnt possible in real life.
I woke up to realize that such a nice, dangerous (crocodile) and wacko dream....simple isnt real....I used to think that dreams weer also a way of God's msg or foretelling of what cud happen to us. Well....I think Im gonna stick to the reality n science...dreams are the human minds way of figuring out the bits n pieces of info in our heads...thats maybe why spore river has crocodiles. :/ Soooo much as I wished (sometimes) that I wud get a call from him...I think it wudnt be very possible. even if it does happen.it sint for the right reason.
Anyway...I woke up w a small sense of sadness and dissappointment. But dun worry...if I dont think...Im fine. :)
LOVE
I was talking to my boss and listening to her mp3..she has some very nice n long lost songs (reason why i call me hat i that I havnt heard them for ages n now ive finally found them)
Some r sad songs and she said that Im the kind that listens to sad songs n dwells on them n end up crying. I was protesting to that and I looked at my other colleague for support..only to be confirmed that i AM such a person!!!! Wahahahaha kk...come to think of it..maybe I am hehehehehe
Anyway..back to my dream. I dreamt that I had some how rather received a call from my ex and he was crying ont he phone. Upon deciding to visit him (who lives in sembawang to chua chu kang area) I had to cross teh spore river to get to his place (dreams are wacko) upon trying to WALK across the river...I realized that there were CROCODILES! Hahahah eventually...I didnt visit my ex...but he called again. Well..to be exact...it was my sista who called from his phone and said she had left my clothes n stuff at his place!!! And sooo I was SUPPOSED to collect them. The story goes on n on until I do meet him and well...lets sayt he end isnt possible in real life.
I woke up to realize that such a nice, dangerous (crocodile) and wacko dream....simple isnt real....I used to think that dreams weer also a way of God's msg or foretelling of what cud happen to us. Well....I think Im gonna stick to the reality n science...dreams are the human minds way of figuring out the bits n pieces of info in our heads...thats maybe why spore river has crocodiles. :/ Soooo much as I wished (sometimes) that I wud get a call from him...I think it wudnt be very possible. even if it does happen.it sint for the right reason.
Anyway...I woke up w a small sense of sadness and dissappointment. But dun worry...if I dont think...Im fine. :)
LOVE
Thursday, September 22, 2005
i had a close shave...
What is it abt me? Why is it so hard for me to do things right? Why do I have to be bitten on the ass once before knowing that I have to do it this way? :(
I know its september and december is quite a long way to go...but I still feel jitters everytime I think abt having to find a new job...to face new faces n go through trial n error again..maybe even a few wicked comments...before I can settle down n face my working life. Will I ever get a good stable job? :( I think its one of those unanswerable jobs..until you turn back one day n realize that you're working in a job for almost one year or two years..even then..compared to how many years I have to live and how much moeny I need to live a rip old age...2 years is...a small last finger...
So im sitting here n doing ym work..yet getting more n more nervous abt the coming trials n tribulations i have to face once SSO is no longer the office I have to go to every morning...Ive grown quite attached to this place. :/
Oh well...
I know its september and december is quite a long way to go...but I still feel jitters everytime I think abt having to find a new job...to face new faces n go through trial n error again..maybe even a few wicked comments...before I can settle down n face my working life. Will I ever get a good stable job? :( I think its one of those unanswerable jobs..until you turn back one day n realize that you're working in a job for almost one year or two years..even then..compared to how many years I have to live and how much moeny I need to live a rip old age...2 years is...a small last finger...
So im sitting here n doing ym work..yet getting more n more nervous abt the coming trials n tribulations i have to face once SSO is no longer the office I have to go to every morning...Ive grown quite attached to this place. :/
Oh well...
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Idan Raichel...
U must be wondering why I wrote this n the previous entry one after the other. Naturally...I didnt want to spoil the mood of the previous one. Not to say that this one is bad..Anyway...this is my latest craze! He is none other than Idan Raichel. The genius behind the Idan Raichel Project. Hes not the singer but the mixer or composer..etc
For those who nvr read my other entries abt him, he's mixed ethiopian music n israeli music up plus jewish (i think) to form music that is excellent even to people who dont understand the language!
Since him, Ive gotten myself immersed in Music from Israel only to discover that they are as musically developed as us! RnB, Hip Hop, Soft Rock, Reggae. Upon hearing a song
Peace in the Middle East - Mishpachat T.A.C.T.
It was RnB n Rap! They had rappers rapping in english n I cud have sworn it was french!!! french!!! Imagine that!!!!! This particular song talks abt the fight btwn Muslims n Jews and how it SHUD STOP! As always...a good song needs to invoke emotions n thought..or realization. As I heard it...I strated to think abt why Jews n Muslims are fighting...why Christians n Muslims fought...all for the same thing...religion..which so happens... we all refer tot eh same God is it not? we all believe there is only one God up there and around. We all believe in heaven n hell...the only diff is we believe in a diff way! I admit Im not tooo knowledgeable abt these 3 religions and their diff and Id soo ove someone to explain it to me.
Likewise...Im also contemplating on finding a new fren to teach me the meaning of this new mmusic Im hearing. I really hope that Singapore will one day hear the Idan again but in a biger scale and with a heartier welcome....
Love
Somewhere over the rainbow...
Like I promised! :) Look at it n u'll see why it has such an impact on me. When I saw it, I went crazy. I was hystericlly asking the photographer, Jimmy (Thanks Jimmy!!!) to take a pic of it. I was like....a small girl who just discovered the motherload of candy hahaha jumping up n down n begging to get a pic of it. I guess Jimmy was abit worried for my sanity and who wudnt!!! hahahah I told him that its been abt close to 2 year since I saw a rainbow and as I said that, his normally small slit eyes grew bigger in..emm..surprise?...amazement? hahaha He suggested that I cud actually get a pic of it from the library...or any photo library.
In that moment, I said that if I had wanted to see any old raonbow, Id have draw one myself and pasted it on my wall, to look at everytime I woke up. But really......what beats seeing the real thing?
In fact...its only when u see the real thing..in front of you that the meaning comes through. That God is there (not that He isnt there all the time) and he's making himself known to the people. Soooo often we forget that He's there and its only at special times..that He makes himself visible...that truly bring us comfort and peace. I never felt soo much peace in a long time....and that was one of the times that I really needed it. :) Thank you sooo much God!
This pic is dear to me...not coz theres a rainbow on it...but coz theres THE rainbow on it..that represents that faithful time n place and date... :) Think Im gonna put it as my desktop paper :P
LOVE
Sunday, September 18, 2005
God's little signs...
The day became better when God brought in a small breeze to cheer me up as I worked in botanic gardens. The day had been hot (enough to make me melt) and I was no where near happiness or enthusiasm esp after receiving an sms that much as i had hoped wud happened...only brought abt sadness...of all ironies..this was the mother of them.
But the wind came n blew at me...it wasnt a normal wind..but the kind that told of possible rain. The coolest kind. :) And as if one wasnt enough...God ave me the best present i cud ask for at that time. :) A rainbow...somethign i havnt seen in years...since i had broken up w my ex. Its funny..coz since then I really never saw a rainbow! maybe coz Id always had my ehad down or mind in thought...But when I saw how alot of people weer gazing and pointing at the sky. (at 1st seconds, I thought they were pointing at the moon) I saw the widest and most colourful rainbow I had seen in ages!!!
Its as if God just called me up and said, "Gd luck! Im there for you." Its like He'd come n given me a hug or, "You're doing fine" etc etc....Suddnely..I felt like....God was there att he concert... The rainbow stretched across the sky. Nearer than it had ever been. :) i did wish my ex's cousin bro and his cousin in law were there today...but they not being there...was also good.
Didnt get to see Miao Miao today. As usual, she is the one whom Id stop in my tracks to say hi to. Time nt ime again..Iw ished I cud bring her home...but I dont think she'd be welcomed. :( Hope she's doing fine. :) I have this feeling that she's sent by God as well. :)
K im dead tired n bloody sticky from the heat n perspiration...Gonna shower n hit the sack! :)
...Thank you God...
LOVE
But the wind came n blew at me...it wasnt a normal wind..but the kind that told of possible rain. The coolest kind. :) And as if one wasnt enough...God ave me the best present i cud ask for at that time. :) A rainbow...somethign i havnt seen in years...since i had broken up w my ex. Its funny..coz since then I really never saw a rainbow! maybe coz Id always had my ehad down or mind in thought...But when I saw how alot of people weer gazing and pointing at the sky. (at 1st seconds, I thought they were pointing at the moon) I saw the widest and most colourful rainbow I had seen in ages!!!
Its as if God just called me up and said, "Gd luck! Im there for you." Its like He'd come n given me a hug or, "You're doing fine" etc etc....Suddnely..I felt like....God was there att he concert... The rainbow stretched across the sky. Nearer than it had ever been. :) i did wish my ex's cousin bro and his cousin in law were there today...but they not being there...was also good.
Didnt get to see Miao Miao today. As usual, she is the one whom Id stop in my tracks to say hi to. Time nt ime again..Iw ished I cud bring her home...but I dont think she'd be welcomed. :( Hope she's doing fine. :) I have this feeling that she's sent by God as well. :)
K im dead tired n bloody sticky from the heat n perspiration...Gonna shower n hit the sack! :)
...Thank you God...
LOVE
Face ur demons
God has a very funny way of making ur life work out..then placing something in thta wud take ur smooth sailing forward like into a rollercoaster backward flip or u-turn...I guess its a test really...
Was w a fren last night...she's been w me for years and everything that has happened to me...has been depicted to her, she knows my entire history...yesteray..she was telling me abt her own probs and it brought bacl loads of memories or feeelings...i used everything i cud rememebr to help her...no doubt at my expense in a way....coz byt he time i went to sleep..i felt a sort of lifelessness before i slept. But..funny. i dont regret talking abt it...i dont regret talking abt memories that wud at first...make me smile....the only irony is that such memeories wud give me a sweet sour feeling..or love-hate...
Met another fren int eh morning for basketball...he told me abt his relatives going through difficult times because of certain difficult relatives...he's indian...Why sorta led me tot hink....why do I hear of soo many indians who end up in such a state? Mind you..Im not looking down indians in general here...im just sad for those indians thta have to suffer coz of these particular ingrates. In my race...I wud also see the same thing really.....the thing is..there is no diff between indian n chinese n malay. We all have our plus points...really....Its sad....
The funny part where God decideds to throw me a curve ball, is when my ex smses me while Im w my sista. Didnt recognise his number till this morning and I cud only exclaim at the ridiculousness that he wud sms me. Haiz....through out the sms conversation..i felt like i was answering in a way that i wud if a someone i didnt like asked me...without emotion. Not that I dont have emotions...no happiness...just..heck care. I know I was mean...I suggested that his cousin bro n his wife gof or the botanic gardens. As for him...part of me wants to meet him...eyt the other part of me knows that to meet him wud be to dig my own grave again..wud bring back everything ive accepted. Like i said....everytime we accept something against our wishes...a part of us dies. I dont want to think abt how my life wud be int he future....love life i mean...I just want to find a job that i love, to do things i havnt done before and always wanted to do...and hopefully....when the time comes..someone wud then come by and make me give in my 200% again...because for now..I dont think I can give in my 200% to anyone.
Soooo...God, Im gonna take this as a test...Im gonna take it as a pit of fire that I have to cross...If it isnt (which i tremble to consider) please dont torture me anymore. enough is enough....
love
Was w a fren last night...she's been w me for years and everything that has happened to me...has been depicted to her, she knows my entire history...yesteray..she was telling me abt her own probs and it brought bacl loads of memories or feeelings...i used everything i cud rememebr to help her...no doubt at my expense in a way....coz byt he time i went to sleep..i felt a sort of lifelessness before i slept. But..funny. i dont regret talking abt it...i dont regret talking abt memories that wud at first...make me smile....the only irony is that such memeories wud give me a sweet sour feeling..or love-hate...
Met another fren int eh morning for basketball...he told me abt his relatives going through difficult times because of certain difficult relatives...he's indian...Why sorta led me tot hink....why do I hear of soo many indians who end up in such a state? Mind you..Im not looking down indians in general here...im just sad for those indians thta have to suffer coz of these particular ingrates. In my race...I wud also see the same thing really.....the thing is..there is no diff between indian n chinese n malay. We all have our plus points...really....Its sad....
The funny part where God decideds to throw me a curve ball, is when my ex smses me while Im w my sista. Didnt recognise his number till this morning and I cud only exclaim at the ridiculousness that he wud sms me. Haiz....through out the sms conversation..i felt like i was answering in a way that i wud if a someone i didnt like asked me...without emotion. Not that I dont have emotions...no happiness...just..heck care. I know I was mean...I suggested that his cousin bro n his wife gof or the botanic gardens. As for him...part of me wants to meet him...eyt the other part of me knows that to meet him wud be to dig my own grave again..wud bring back everything ive accepted. Like i said....everytime we accept something against our wishes...a part of us dies. I dont want to think abt how my life wud be int he future....love life i mean...I just want to find a job that i love, to do things i havnt done before and always wanted to do...and hopefully....when the time comes..someone wud then come by and make me give in my 200% again...because for now..I dont think I can give in my 200% to anyone.
Soooo...God, Im gonna take this as a test...Im gonna take it as a pit of fire that I have to cross...If it isnt (which i tremble to consider) please dont torture me anymore. enough is enough....
love
Friday, September 16, 2005
"-) I hit the mother load!!!
after much searching...and also the help of my frens, Ive gotten closer to Idan Raichel!! No i hvnt gotten the cd :( But in my obsessive search for Idan, I found a website that had recordings of past radio broadcasts of a UK university radio station (i think) It has a rich collection of Isrealian music n jewish music.
I will never again say that Israel is a 3rd world country etc..(not that ive ever) Because the songs I heard are gd quality RnB, Hip Hop music! Competing agains teh likes of Simple Plan, Puddle of Mudd, etc! :) Im starting to like this kind of music! Hahahah give it a try man!
http://www.srcf.ucam.org/~sng23/kolcambridge/playlists.html
Open your eyes...you will find that we have loads in common...the only diff is the languagae n religion. Im quite amazed that a Uni in UK is playing this kind of music! But i guess its only my narrow sightedness....now i know. My apologies to Israelian or jewish pple who read this. I have very little knowledge in this topic.
Anyway...this week is...funny hahaha through the whole week, Ive been spewing crap and singing w my colleagues n boss hahahahah My MP3 player has clips of us singing n its really tooo funny to listen to hahahahaha what can I say...I am having loads of fun hahaha not to mention...learning...n trying to stabilize myself n get used tot he working world. :/
BTW, to my indian frens..if you think that Im gonna be lesser indian coz Ive found israelian music interesting...your nuts! Likewise for chinese frens hahaha My chinese roots remain...contrary to what my dad thinks....I may have stretched my sights and ears to other cultures n races n nationalities...doesnt mean I wont go back to my roots. I wont convert...I wont denounce my race. Although it doesnt mean that I believe my race to be superior yah. every race has its black sheep. being a chinese, it means that Im more dissappointed w black sheep from my own race than any others.
K im gonna go sleep. gotta wake up n play basketball tom HEHEHEHE Im gonna get fit! Gonna change my eatying habits n be healthier! No more "woong"s hahahaha Gonna have to elarn how to swim sia! hahahaha
LOVE
I will never again say that Israel is a 3rd world country etc..(not that ive ever) Because the songs I heard are gd quality RnB, Hip Hop music! Competing agains teh likes of Simple Plan, Puddle of Mudd, etc! :) Im starting to like this kind of music! Hahahah give it a try man!
http://www.srcf.ucam.org/~sng23/kolcambridge/playlists.html
Open your eyes...you will find that we have loads in common...the only diff is the languagae n religion. Im quite amazed that a Uni in UK is playing this kind of music! But i guess its only my narrow sightedness....now i know. My apologies to Israelian or jewish pple who read this. I have very little knowledge in this topic.
Anyway...this week is...funny hahaha through the whole week, Ive been spewing crap and singing w my colleagues n boss hahahahah My MP3 player has clips of us singing n its really tooo funny to listen to hahahahaha what can I say...I am having loads of fun hahaha not to mention...learning...n trying to stabilize myself n get used tot he working world. :/
BTW, to my indian frens..if you think that Im gonna be lesser indian coz Ive found israelian music interesting...your nuts! Likewise for chinese frens hahaha My chinese roots remain...contrary to what my dad thinks....I may have stretched my sights and ears to other cultures n races n nationalities...doesnt mean I wont go back to my roots. I wont convert...I wont denounce my race. Although it doesnt mean that I believe my race to be superior yah. every race has its black sheep. being a chinese, it means that Im more dissappointed w black sheep from my own race than any others.
K im gonna go sleep. gotta wake up n play basketball tom HEHEHEHE Im gonna get fit! Gonna change my eatying habits n be healthier! No more "woong"s hahahaha Gonna have to elarn how to swim sia! hahahaha
LOVE
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Idan Raichel
:) Heres why I like Idan Raichel. :)
http://www.israelcentersf.org/music/idanreichel.asp
Watch the video...
LOVE
http://www.israelcentersf.org/music/idanreichel.asp
Watch the video...
LOVE
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
yeah....i can be such an irritating fren...
you know..as the saying goes...no one is perfect. no one can be liked by everyone. Im starting to wonder who hates me hahahaha what would it be liked to be hated? honestly im not a fan of being disliked or complained abt..but im curious what itd be like to be hated...hmm
Well...to those of my frens whom i have irritated or made angry..int eh past few days...im sorry but i hope you all know where im coming from. My temper n my character have changed since poly...i know that.
Heres my story...
I have alot of frens who are either often late..or often not answering calls...or often not doing both...or maybe just plain Missing In Action. These frens I call once in awhile but not often because I know they dont pick up their calls. There are dozens of times where I want to meet up with them but these times are rare and ad hoc (sudden availability to meet up)
When I do decide to call them up for an adhoc session...I think abt where they are n if they're busy. Naturally.., if I do call them out, it wud be because I thought they were free, in the neighbourhood. Of course Im not always right. Everyone has their own stuff to do rite? But I gues all i wud love to have...was a call back or an sms back to say, "sorry girl, busy now." or "hey! BZ now. sorry"
K some of you wud be wondering..why not msg them? True! But...if you have an ad hoc plan.., wudnt u need a reply asap? If u had plans for next sunday or next month..or even day afetr tom..u cud sms! By all means!
I know I sound liek a granny...but what happens if it was an urgent call? wat happens if the person onte h other line were in contemplating to commit suicide? isnt that why suicide considerers have a hotline that is 24/7? What happens if ur fren is on that thin line and is calling to say bye or calling to hear someone talk them into it? I know Im not someone who will commit suicide..but it doesnt have to be me.
Like my boss says...assumptions make and ass out of you.
I had a fren once..who was in the depths of her depression..she was soo ready to cut her wrist n let it bleed. She called my other frens n called me. Some of them were worried..but not worried enough to think she'd really do it. I was one of the few who did answer her call n heard her cry her heart out. I cried too after her phone call coz...I could imagine her doing it n I cud imagine what id feel if my fren did kill herself and her last calls were for us. Thank Heavens!!! My fren is still living n happily in love.
I also have a fren who has never rejected a call...esp in the late hours...she swore to herself that she wud never not pick up the phone. Why? Coz her best fren called her n she missed it. The call she missed contained the frens last words to her...
Fine! Im Paranoid! Im exagerating! But answering a call wudnt be hard..or smsing either...just one small sms...It makes things go alot easier... I understand how pple complain abt incoming calls being costly...well...an sms wud do rite.
I am dissappointed that i didnt get a chance to catch up w frens...but i wudn be as dissappointed or upset...if i just knew whether it was a yes or no..instead of waiting for 1/2 hour n finally take the initiative to move on...only to hear that they were in the same area but didnt call me back..thus..didnt get to meet. I know pple are busy or in a meeting..fine...but if you did receive my call...and you werent busy....please...reply....at least reply n not leave it for another day or hour or month....dun blatantly laeve it out just coz u know its me and so its unimportant...I know a dozen times when I needed someone to talk to..to let my heart out...only to call n realize that none of them were there to answer their phones.
As for those who are late....dun make it a habit....esp if ur meeting someone downstairs ur place or 10mins away from ur house..all the more theres no excuse...or even worse...if u forget to meet them! Thats the worst Ive had n I did walk out on that meeting...IN fact..had I not gone up to my frens house to find her...I wud have been stupidly waiting for another 10mins...aside fromt eh extra 15mins iv already waited. It really makes no sense...brings to mind the theory that the pple who are often late..are those who live nearby to the meeting place.
IM picky! Im calculative! But being punctual and returning phone calls or sms or watever near that..is mere courtesy! Would you dot hat to your boss? In your work place?
And please dun be angry when someone does it to you...esp since you know u do it to others too.
After all this..I still have to say this...I love my frens...coincidentally, those that do this too me, are amongst my dearest frens...precisely why ive been able to tahan for so long. Ive held my tongue for the longest time that now..it seems like a bad idea to hld it any longer. I lvoe you guys! But this is a habit you have to kick! Its really not funny or pleasant. I see myself coming to a point where i get fed up and I walk away...I see myself calling you guys over less because I know i wudnt get a fast enough answer of whether to meet up. And I see myself not even saying anything even more...giving up on helping u change ur habits. Maybe thats the best way.
LIke I said..Ive become a very easily pissed off bitch...my temper is equivalent to that of my dads now....Im trying to control it but its these few things that irritate me the most...sad to say..Im not as patient as I was... u all take care..sorry.
love
Well...to those of my frens whom i have irritated or made angry..int eh past few days...im sorry but i hope you all know where im coming from. My temper n my character have changed since poly...i know that.
Heres my story...
I have alot of frens who are either often late..or often not answering calls...or often not doing both...or maybe just plain Missing In Action. These frens I call once in awhile but not often because I know they dont pick up their calls. There are dozens of times where I want to meet up with them but these times are rare and ad hoc (sudden availability to meet up)
When I do decide to call them up for an adhoc session...I think abt where they are n if they're busy. Naturally.., if I do call them out, it wud be because I thought they were free, in the neighbourhood. Of course Im not always right. Everyone has their own stuff to do rite? But I gues all i wud love to have...was a call back or an sms back to say, "sorry girl, busy now." or "hey! BZ now. sorry"
K some of you wud be wondering..why not msg them? True! But...if you have an ad hoc plan.., wudnt u need a reply asap? If u had plans for next sunday or next month..or even day afetr tom..u cud sms! By all means!
I know I sound liek a granny...but what happens if it was an urgent call? wat happens if the person onte h other line were in contemplating to commit suicide? isnt that why suicide considerers have a hotline that is 24/7? What happens if ur fren is on that thin line and is calling to say bye or calling to hear someone talk them into it? I know Im not someone who will commit suicide..but it doesnt have to be me.
Like my boss says...assumptions make and ass out of you.
I had a fren once..who was in the depths of her depression..she was soo ready to cut her wrist n let it bleed. She called my other frens n called me. Some of them were worried..but not worried enough to think she'd really do it. I was one of the few who did answer her call n heard her cry her heart out. I cried too after her phone call coz...I could imagine her doing it n I cud imagine what id feel if my fren did kill herself and her last calls were for us. Thank Heavens!!! My fren is still living n happily in love.
I also have a fren who has never rejected a call...esp in the late hours...she swore to herself that she wud never not pick up the phone. Why? Coz her best fren called her n she missed it. The call she missed contained the frens last words to her...
Fine! Im Paranoid! Im exagerating! But answering a call wudnt be hard..or smsing either...just one small sms...It makes things go alot easier... I understand how pple complain abt incoming calls being costly...well...an sms wud do rite.
I am dissappointed that i didnt get a chance to catch up w frens...but i wudn be as dissappointed or upset...if i just knew whether it was a yes or no..instead of waiting for 1/2 hour n finally take the initiative to move on...only to hear that they were in the same area but didnt call me back..thus..didnt get to meet. I know pple are busy or in a meeting..fine...but if you did receive my call...and you werent busy....please...reply....at least reply n not leave it for another day or hour or month....dun blatantly laeve it out just coz u know its me and so its unimportant...I know a dozen times when I needed someone to talk to..to let my heart out...only to call n realize that none of them were there to answer their phones.
As for those who are late....dun make it a habit....esp if ur meeting someone downstairs ur place or 10mins away from ur house..all the more theres no excuse...or even worse...if u forget to meet them! Thats the worst Ive had n I did walk out on that meeting...IN fact..had I not gone up to my frens house to find her...I wud have been stupidly waiting for another 10mins...aside fromt eh extra 15mins iv already waited. It really makes no sense...brings to mind the theory that the pple who are often late..are those who live nearby to the meeting place.
IM picky! Im calculative! But being punctual and returning phone calls or sms or watever near that..is mere courtesy! Would you dot hat to your boss? In your work place?
And please dun be angry when someone does it to you...esp since you know u do it to others too.
After all this..I still have to say this...I love my frens...coincidentally, those that do this too me, are amongst my dearest frens...precisely why ive been able to tahan for so long. Ive held my tongue for the longest time that now..it seems like a bad idea to hld it any longer. I lvoe you guys! But this is a habit you have to kick! Its really not funny or pleasant. I see myself coming to a point where i get fed up and I walk away...I see myself calling you guys over less because I know i wudnt get a fast enough answer of whether to meet up. And I see myself not even saying anything even more...giving up on helping u change ur habits. Maybe thats the best way.
LIke I said..Ive become a very easily pissed off bitch...my temper is equivalent to that of my dads now....Im trying to control it but its these few things that irritate me the most...sad to say..Im not as patient as I was... u all take care..sorry.
love
Monday, September 12, 2005
Heavy rain...
I dont now if the whole spore was raining but the rain was sooo bad n ugly that my colleague and I were getting abit woried that it might be a sign of worse thigns to come. I know Im being superstitious...but when was the last time u saw the sky in fury? Ive never in the past 2 years..seen somethign as bad as this! I cudnt help but feel a deep fear in me...
Anyway..that wasnt the only thing that teh rain had done to me. For months...i have held fortress to something I wud never let my guard down again. Ive tried means and ways to get over certain things that was so excrutiatingly hard to get over that....you wud never have wanted to see me in my initial stages. Fort he 1st time in a long while...the rain had proven to big...it had made a hole in fortress...yes...i teared...(u can start saying, "wat again!" now) I teared coz this rain had to bring back memories..like certain things still do. Which is abt why i dont do certain thigns anymore. (u can start saying," why like that? I thought ur over it?" now) *Note a touch of sarcasm
I have frens who told me these exact same things before..telling me that i can get over it...some fo them..are going through the same shit now...yes I can through the inital suffering! Why not! But i dont think Id get over it completely. Like I said before in my last entry....you lose abit of you. The more the rain poured, the more my heart sank...
As i walked across the overhead bridge and looked at the cable cars go by...i was afraid for those in it. Common-sense wud tell you to stop pple from taking them and stop the cable cars from moving right? Well..if there were passengers, I was praynig for them.
This sounds sad and melancholy and...depressing...but for a few mins..i wondered what wud happen if i was going to die...im not talking abt whether i walk down a long dark tunnel and the light at the end of it..Im talking abt who Id want to say bye to last...family? frens?
I know that i wud never wanna go b4 saying gdbyes n love yous..
LOVE
Anyway..that wasnt the only thing that teh rain had done to me. For months...i have held fortress to something I wud never let my guard down again. Ive tried means and ways to get over certain things that was so excrutiatingly hard to get over that....you wud never have wanted to see me in my initial stages. Fort he 1st time in a long while...the rain had proven to big...it had made a hole in fortress...yes...i teared...(u can start saying, "wat again!" now) I teared coz this rain had to bring back memories..like certain things still do. Which is abt why i dont do certain thigns anymore. (u can start saying," why like that? I thought ur over it?" now) *Note a touch of sarcasm
I have frens who told me these exact same things before..telling me that i can get over it...some fo them..are going through the same shit now...yes I can through the inital suffering! Why not! But i dont think Id get over it completely. Like I said before in my last entry....you lose abit of you. The more the rain poured, the more my heart sank...
As i walked across the overhead bridge and looked at the cable cars go by...i was afraid for those in it. Common-sense wud tell you to stop pple from taking them and stop the cable cars from moving right? Well..if there were passengers, I was praynig for them.
This sounds sad and melancholy and...depressing...but for a few mins..i wondered what wud happen if i was going to die...im not talking abt whether i walk down a long dark tunnel and the light at the end of it..Im talking abt who Id want to say bye to last...family? frens?
I know that i wud never wanna go b4 saying gdbyes n love yous..
LOVE
2 issues n 1 apology
Look bro...I appreciate that you have so much regard for me but i do not need someone asking me where I am, what Im doing and why Im doing it everytime they call. Pls understand that I've got an alarm that rings everything something like this happens. I honestly feel uncomfortable! Not coz ur not a nice guy....but coz I cant take it! I regard you as a bro but there are some things that i just can not bring myself to tell you even if ur my fren! Anyway...im sorry but i hope u know where Im coming from...
dun get the wrong ideas peeps...im fine.
As for the 2 issues...Ive had pple posting abt it on frenster...i have pple i know in the same situation n it is something that I believe in strongly...call me conservative if u must...
1) Pre-marital sex
2) Family abuse
1)
I wud call any girl who voluntarily gives herself up to a guy who might not even stick around, stupid or foolish. Esp since you have no idea if u'll get pregnant! Claiming to be helpless isnt a reason but an excuse. It only shows how much determination you have to protect urself. It also shows how much respect you have for your body! What sickens me even mroe are those who get bitten but dont learn from that bite! Those who get themselves pregnant time and again! What are they thinking?!?!?!?!
The guys who are responsible are no less guilty!! I dont know how many times ive said this but they better keep their dicks in check. Or one day, it'll get them in trouble. Personally, put me in front of one of these guys and I promise that they wont live to celebrate another father's day. True its another lifestyle! But its one as healthy as smoking! For those who go around telling their Pals abt how good their last nights were, if you think its all a prize...u need a brain check and u need to be castrated.
2)
Yes..I watch Oprah...i know its often an auntie or mum kind of show, but as and when i bump into it, I do stop switching channels. Watched the recent Mike Tyson's ex-wife, Robyn episode...She was abused by Mike and she tolerated it time and again until one fine day, she....she looked at the mirror and saw her face bruised..saw how her family was affected by it...she became terribly guilty! Why? Why feel guilt when it was ur husband who hit you, who scolded you? Simple...because you let him...
Robyn said that the moment you forgive him and go bac to him, it eats into you. You lose a part of you... i agree! Not only w your spouse...but also w a fren...w a family member...etc..you slowly lose something! UR LIFE. You lose the definition of your life. Every abused person loses track of what their life means to them. Life is no longer what they themselves make it out to be...it becomes what their abuser makes it out to be. It becomes more of, "What is he going to do today? Will I be able to do this? If I dont do that, I wont get hit...whatever he says" Whose life is this anyway? Slowly...thy lose the will to fight for their life. Coz afterall, it isnt theirs anymore! Or thats what they think. If you think of it like that, it will be...
Never let someone else decide what you would like to do with ur life. Just coz ur mum wants you to be a doctor, doesnt mean you have to. Just coz your dad is a lawyer or has always aspired to be a lawyer, doesnt mean you have to take over his place n accomplish his dreams. They had their chance and they lost it. If you continue with their wishes, you'd be continuing a cycle that will spread...on to ur next generation...
Spaeking of cycles... Robyn married Mike and after breaking up, realized that she had in fact, married someone exactly like her dad. As the theory goes...we will end up marrying someone alike our fathers..unless we change it. The strange thign is...she didnt even know her dad was abusive to her mum!
Sometimes I wish girls wudnt be so foolish n man wudnt be so fickle-minded.
Lastly...if my overseas frens are reading this...Im missing you guys! keep in touch pls!
LOVE
dun get the wrong ideas peeps...im fine.
As for the 2 issues...Ive had pple posting abt it on frenster...i have pple i know in the same situation n it is something that I believe in strongly...call me conservative if u must...
1) Pre-marital sex
2) Family abuse
1)
I wud call any girl who voluntarily gives herself up to a guy who might not even stick around, stupid or foolish. Esp since you have no idea if u'll get pregnant! Claiming to be helpless isnt a reason but an excuse. It only shows how much determination you have to protect urself. It also shows how much respect you have for your body! What sickens me even mroe are those who get bitten but dont learn from that bite! Those who get themselves pregnant time and again! What are they thinking?!?!?!?!
The guys who are responsible are no less guilty!! I dont know how many times ive said this but they better keep their dicks in check. Or one day, it'll get them in trouble. Personally, put me in front of one of these guys and I promise that they wont live to celebrate another father's day. True its another lifestyle! But its one as healthy as smoking! For those who go around telling their Pals abt how good their last nights were, if you think its all a prize...u need a brain check and u need to be castrated.
2)
Yes..I watch Oprah...i know its often an auntie or mum kind of show, but as and when i bump into it, I do stop switching channels. Watched the recent Mike Tyson's ex-wife, Robyn episode...She was abused by Mike and she tolerated it time and again until one fine day, she....she looked at the mirror and saw her face bruised..saw how her family was affected by it...she became terribly guilty! Why? Why feel guilt when it was ur husband who hit you, who scolded you? Simple...because you let him...
Robyn said that the moment you forgive him and go bac to him, it eats into you. You lose a part of you... i agree! Not only w your spouse...but also w a fren...w a family member...etc..you slowly lose something! UR LIFE. You lose the definition of your life. Every abused person loses track of what their life means to them. Life is no longer what they themselves make it out to be...it becomes what their abuser makes it out to be. It becomes more of, "What is he going to do today? Will I be able to do this? If I dont do that, I wont get hit...whatever he says" Whose life is this anyway? Slowly...thy lose the will to fight for their life. Coz afterall, it isnt theirs anymore! Or thats what they think. If you think of it like that, it will be...
Never let someone else decide what you would like to do with ur life. Just coz ur mum wants you to be a doctor, doesnt mean you have to. Just coz your dad is a lawyer or has always aspired to be a lawyer, doesnt mean you have to take over his place n accomplish his dreams. They had their chance and they lost it. If you continue with their wishes, you'd be continuing a cycle that will spread...on to ur next generation...
Spaeking of cycles... Robyn married Mike and after breaking up, realized that she had in fact, married someone exactly like her dad. As the theory goes...we will end up marrying someone alike our fathers..unless we change it. The strange thign is...she didnt even know her dad was abusive to her mum!
Sometimes I wish girls wudnt be so foolish n man wudnt be so fickle-minded.
Lastly...if my overseas frens are reading this...Im missing you guys! keep in touch pls!
LOVE
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Hmmmmmmm.......
You know..I honestly have nothing to say! Just writing for the sake of writing! Maybe I'll make up something on the way.
Have you felt like u wanted to do something but u didnt know what? Not that you forgot...just that...you feel like theres a hidden purpose or mission you have yet to accomplish...
I went out today...missing church...thin king i had a list of things to do...only to find out that every one of these thigns...seem to be ...empty...just when im about to go ahead n do it. I wanted to ehad down to Little India for awhile...to look at some bangles etc...n yet...as i got o the train...I kept asking myself...why? So i changed my mind! Went down to SPGG...with the intention of paying my bill...turns out..that was the only thing that i cud use to force myself to walk allt he way there. Thank goodness SP was open. Least I cud cut through. For the next 2-3 hours, i sat at SPGG, byt he pool, reading n watching kids n parents play. Ideas of what to do next time i come here...although I dont know if Id be able to persuade anyone to follow me... :( It wud suck to be hanging there alone.
Basically...my day was a wreck! An aimless day! Had no intention of spending too much money so no purchases were made...except for lunch. Didnt even ahve the mood to head down to Sentosa beach or Esplanade! Not even when I love the water soo much!!!
How can one lose their energy so fast? I ersigned to my fate, went home n slept till dinner.... oh well...
I noe all this is boring n ud probably have more fun stuff to do. :) ANyway if ur still reading this, thanks.
Where theres a will, theres a way
someday you'll see a brighter day
just hold on tight to those you love
and look toward the sky above
you'll see the cloud lined silver rim
you'll see the rainbow smiles in rain
you'll hear the wind blow through the trees
like flutes in natures melodies
to top it off, just turn around
look to the one ur hands have bound
the one who makes ur heart explode
who'll share ur sorrows in the cold
then you'll know...life has been good.
Ning
LOVE
Have you felt like u wanted to do something but u didnt know what? Not that you forgot...just that...you feel like theres a hidden purpose or mission you have yet to accomplish...
I went out today...missing church...thin king i had a list of things to do...only to find out that every one of these thigns...seem to be ...empty...just when im about to go ahead n do it. I wanted to ehad down to Little India for awhile...to look at some bangles etc...n yet...as i got o the train...I kept asking myself...why? So i changed my mind! Went down to SPGG...with the intention of paying my bill...turns out..that was the only thing that i cud use to force myself to walk allt he way there. Thank goodness SP was open. Least I cud cut through. For the next 2-3 hours, i sat at SPGG, byt he pool, reading n watching kids n parents play. Ideas of what to do next time i come here...although I dont know if Id be able to persuade anyone to follow me... :( It wud suck to be hanging there alone.
Basically...my day was a wreck! An aimless day! Had no intention of spending too much money so no purchases were made...except for lunch. Didnt even ahve the mood to head down to Sentosa beach or Esplanade! Not even when I love the water soo much!!!
How can one lose their energy so fast? I ersigned to my fate, went home n slept till dinner.... oh well...
I noe all this is boring n ud probably have more fun stuff to do. :) ANyway if ur still reading this, thanks.
Where theres a will, theres a way
someday you'll see a brighter day
just hold on tight to those you love
and look toward the sky above
you'll see the cloud lined silver rim
you'll see the rainbow smiles in rain
you'll hear the wind blow through the trees
like flutes in natures melodies
to top it off, just turn around
look to the one ur hands have bound
the one who makes ur heart explode
who'll share ur sorrows in the cold
then you'll know...life has been good.
Ning
LOVE
Saturday, September 10, 2005
OOOO diedy diedy diedy diedy diedy diedy dy!
Yeah I know..Im nuts...literally high without any consumtion of foreign substance!
Meet my sec sch sistas int he morning...a erally happy situation was uot on a little strain coz of a timing issue but i know much as i try to convince..somethings take a long time to change. Its a conscious and determined effort i believe. Not to say that we dont regard each other any lesser...just that we know each toehr soo long that i guess time never seemed to be an issue? Yet sometimes...timing is of the essence. Sis I know you for soo long and i regard you with all respect n love but ur timing ah...hmm need improvement.
Funny thing is...she's nott he only one of my sustas who is late allt he time. I ahev abt 4 sisters n counting..who are consistently late! And the funny thing is ...some of them get irritated when other pf their frens are late n they complain to me! hahaha wat can I ay to that? Only this, "Now you know how it feels" None the less, I love them allt he same...even when the late issue gets on my nerves...also the thing that they never answer my calls or my missed calls...haiz...
Okay! Im guilty of that as well I guess... haiz
After breakfast, we walked around n i finally got my new slipper!!! hehehe no more ice skating across the office floor!!! :P Its got abit of a heel though :( NVM! Have to thank my sista for accompanying me! :) After awhile, she went of w her guy n sped off intot he sunset hahahah (just joking...) I on the otherhand, strolled tot he library to borrow some fitness bks! (do you smellt eh determination?...no i dont think so) I want to tone up!!! Been saying that since I realized thatt he extra layer HANGING from my arm goes "woong woong" when I wave. Hehehehehehehehehe (not funny ah!!!)
Went home satisfied!!! :) Cleared some fo my stuff, had a nice nap and shower and off I went again. This time, really into the sunset! Met my colleagues at Meridien Shopping centre to makan dinner! My boss's birthday celebration! Had indian food again!
I dont know how to say this but I can get all crazy hanging out with these pple! We were singing the "Who's line is it" hoe down song! (aka the title of my entry) We went downt ot he Irish pub opp the road for some chatting. Didnt get a drink...only thing i got was coke...haiz Of all things the pub was having..it was a soccer match and not surprisingly, Man U was playing....wats up w that man! Must i have sooo much erlations w Man U that I cant get away from it?!?!?! It is one of the things I wish I cud get rid off..or at least dun let me see or hear or smell it! Anyway, thankfully, we sat outside. We started to sing a few songs...everyone had a role to play. The bass, the background singer, the lead..etc There, the Ba Kuah Girls had their 1st public performance! I even recorded it! Wahahaha if u ask me nice enuff, I'll let you hear it hehehehe
Im hoping that by december, Ba Kuah Girls will be able to produce their 1st cd! Hahaha the songs are as follows:
1) Lean on Me
2) Dont Worry Be Happy
3) 12 oclock rock
4) I will Follow You
5) Pachebel's Cannon
6) Phantom of the Opera
7) emmm...think that all for now.....
Yeah...will letcha know if i add anymore hahahaha I think if we had sung anymore or laughed any louder, we'd get kicked out of the pub and demoted to the nearby staircase hahahahaha
I for one nkow that I laughed heartily n no holds barred....also alughed my heart n lungs out. Dun even think i haev the need to do crunches for now hahahahah stomach already exercised fromt eh laughing...
K im done for today! Today was great! :)
LOVE
Meet my sec sch sistas int he morning...a erally happy situation was uot on a little strain coz of a timing issue but i know much as i try to convince..somethings take a long time to change. Its a conscious and determined effort i believe. Not to say that we dont regard each other any lesser...just that we know each toehr soo long that i guess time never seemed to be an issue? Yet sometimes...timing is of the essence. Sis I know you for soo long and i regard you with all respect n love but ur timing ah...hmm need improvement.
Funny thing is...she's nott he only one of my sustas who is late allt he time. I ahev abt 4 sisters n counting..who are consistently late! And the funny thing is ...some of them get irritated when other pf their frens are late n they complain to me! hahaha wat can I ay to that? Only this, "Now you know how it feels" None the less, I love them allt he same...even when the late issue gets on my nerves...also the thing that they never answer my calls or my missed calls...haiz...
Okay! Im guilty of that as well I guess... haiz
After breakfast, we walked around n i finally got my new slipper!!! hehehe no more ice skating across the office floor!!! :P Its got abit of a heel though :( NVM! Have to thank my sista for accompanying me! :) After awhile, she went of w her guy n sped off intot he sunset hahahah (just joking...) I on the otherhand, strolled tot he library to borrow some fitness bks! (do you smellt eh determination?...no i dont think so) I want to tone up!!! Been saying that since I realized thatt he extra layer HANGING from my arm goes "woong woong" when I wave. Hehehehehehehehehe (not funny ah!!!)
Went home satisfied!!! :) Cleared some fo my stuff, had a nice nap and shower and off I went again. This time, really into the sunset! Met my colleagues at Meridien Shopping centre to makan dinner! My boss's birthday celebration! Had indian food again!
I dont know how to say this but I can get all crazy hanging out with these pple! We were singing the "Who's line is it" hoe down song! (aka the title of my entry) We went downt ot he Irish pub opp the road for some chatting. Didnt get a drink...only thing i got was coke...haiz Of all things the pub was having..it was a soccer match and not surprisingly, Man U was playing....wats up w that man! Must i have sooo much erlations w Man U that I cant get away from it?!?!?! It is one of the things I wish I cud get rid off..or at least dun let me see or hear or smell it! Anyway, thankfully, we sat outside. We started to sing a few songs...everyone had a role to play. The bass, the background singer, the lead..etc There, the Ba Kuah Girls had their 1st public performance! I even recorded it! Wahahaha if u ask me nice enuff, I'll let you hear it hehehehe
Im hoping that by december, Ba Kuah Girls will be able to produce their 1st cd! Hahaha the songs are as follows:
1) Lean on Me
2) Dont Worry Be Happy
3) 12 oclock rock
4) I will Follow You
5) Pachebel's Cannon
6) Phantom of the Opera
7) emmm...think that all for now.....
Yeah...will letcha know if i add anymore hahahaha I think if we had sung anymore or laughed any louder, we'd get kicked out of the pub and demoted to the nearby staircase hahahahaha
I for one nkow that I laughed heartily n no holds barred....also alughed my heart n lungs out. Dun even think i haev the need to do crunches for now hahahahah stomach already exercised fromt eh laughing...
K im done for today! Today was great! :)
LOVE
Thursday, September 08, 2005
:)
Watched the INXS competition today. Of all the episodes Ive watched, today is teh best. Why? because the contestants were given a chance to showcase their own songs. Not only that, they also did one of my favourite songs. One of which made me tear alittle today, "I cant make you love me" by Bonnie Raitt. Its been a long while since I got hit by a wave of missing my past relationship but I guess this song just did a homerun! of all the songs that have a meaning to me, this song, angel, memories and somewhere over the rainbow; stick the hardest to me. hahaha If you have time, check outt he lyrics to that song, "I cant make you love me" You'll know what i mean.
Anyway...I think ive found my inspiration to write again. :) My songs i mean... After watching the contestents sing their songs...I felt soo much to have my own song up on stage as well! I guess the band I wanted to form, still isnt gonna work out. We all have too little time. :/
To add to allt he music..I watched Les Choristes today. :) A french movie abt a music teacher who goes into a sch for the misbehaving and uses music to connect w them n control them. Music does wonders...personally...it will always be soemthing that i can never stop loving. Time n time again, just when i feel as if ive heard enough music..that no song will ever appeal to me...something new will always come up and refresh my love for it. It has never failed to tell my stories an dother people's stories. :)
Forgive me if I sound discontinued or something...Guess ive too much to tell but no energy to do it in an enthusiastic way...
For those of you who have and are still helping me find Idan raichel, thanks soo much. :) Its greatly appreciated! For those fo you who are still puzzled over why I love this band soo much...go visit the website. www.idanraichelproject.com. If this doesnt work, search for it on yahoo. Idan is a genius who knows how to blend music of diff cultures n styles, into a fabulous work of art. Somethign that I wish i cud do as well... :) he can be considered my idol hahahaha
I only wish spore knew him... :(
I know theres alot more that happened it eh week...just cant think of any now..but if u do have time n wanna chat, just call me yah. :)
love
Anyway...I think ive found my inspiration to write again. :) My songs i mean... After watching the contestents sing their songs...I felt soo much to have my own song up on stage as well! I guess the band I wanted to form, still isnt gonna work out. We all have too little time. :/
To add to allt he music..I watched Les Choristes today. :) A french movie abt a music teacher who goes into a sch for the misbehaving and uses music to connect w them n control them. Music does wonders...personally...it will always be soemthing that i can never stop loving. Time n time again, just when i feel as if ive heard enough music..that no song will ever appeal to me...something new will always come up and refresh my love for it. It has never failed to tell my stories an dother people's stories. :)
Forgive me if I sound discontinued or something...Guess ive too much to tell but no energy to do it in an enthusiastic way...
For those of you who have and are still helping me find Idan raichel, thanks soo much. :) Its greatly appreciated! For those fo you who are still puzzled over why I love this band soo much...go visit the website. www.idanraichelproject.com. If this doesnt work, search for it on yahoo. Idan is a genius who knows how to blend music of diff cultures n styles, into a fabulous work of art. Somethign that I wish i cud do as well... :) he can be considered my idol hahahaha
I only wish spore knew him... :(
I know theres alot more that happened it eh week...just cant think of any now..but if u do have time n wanna chat, just call me yah. :)
love
Monday, September 05, 2005
a day of satisfaction
The Open House was good today...just that Ive become like a walking zombie after it hahaha
Am at harbourfront Mac D's using the net. Thank you MAc Donalds!!! Or Id still be slumping on my table n sleeping. Got tuition later n yet Im sooo tired that I dont know if I can survive another level of space impact or watever game he can come up with!!! But nvm lah...anyway...gotta save my money for better things in life...like a trip to america!!!
Been pissed w my dad when he wasnt approving of how much time I spend at work...To him, money equates the time he spends at work. I admit! I am underpaid! I do spend alot of time at work! But thats the surface stuff! What abt the thinsg I learn at work? He never considered that maybe what I get out of this...cud be ore than money..mroe priceless than money even!
Anyway...I'm really tired of explaining to my dad or mum. I'll show them that whatever time Ive put in is worth it...like compereing... Ive lsot the motivation to ask for my dad's approval...Ive lost soo many thigns because of it that its just not worth it.
Gonna end here. You all take care. Keep in touch yah!
LOVE
Am at harbourfront Mac D's using the net. Thank you MAc Donalds!!! Or Id still be slumping on my table n sleeping. Got tuition later n yet Im sooo tired that I dont know if I can survive another level of space impact or watever game he can come up with!!! But nvm lah...anyway...gotta save my money for better things in life...like a trip to america!!!
Been pissed w my dad when he wasnt approving of how much time I spend at work...To him, money equates the time he spends at work. I admit! I am underpaid! I do spend alot of time at work! But thats the surface stuff! What abt the thinsg I learn at work? He never considered that maybe what I get out of this...cud be ore than money..mroe priceless than money even!
Anyway...I'm really tired of explaining to my dad or mum. I'll show them that whatever time Ive put in is worth it...like compereing... Ive lsot the motivation to ask for my dad's approval...Ive lost soo many thigns because of it that its just not worth it.
Gonna end here. You all take care. Keep in touch yah!
LOVE
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Sorry...frustration
Is it just me? Ive been a bitch recently...
Today, one of my frens called. he treats me as a sister and beingt he person I am, Id want to dot eh same. But he's constantly irritating me when he asks what Im doing, where Im going..etc. In my head, only one question rang, "Why do I have to tell him so much?" At that exact moment, I started to feel abit ...worried. Im not abt to be hogged by a posessive guy fren again. I told him off, "Now I know why handphoens are not allowed in the Army. Coz they dont want the soldiers to be irritating pple when they're bored" it was a blatant insult, an intentional one but somehow I know that this "bro of mine is too thick headed to take it to heart..sigh I need to have a talk with him man...Need to be as blunt as possible.
As for the rest of my bris n sistas...I know ive caused bit of frustration to some of them for the past weeks. I guess my behaviour has been....very misleading...Guys, things arent what they seem k. I apologize if Ie made you guys think this way...but it really isnt what i meant. All I can say is....after all Ive gone through (be it relatively little) I wud always value frenship the most. Nothign changes that. I wud never wanna lose frenship for anythingelse...
u all tc
LOVE
Today, one of my frens called. he treats me as a sister and beingt he person I am, Id want to dot eh same. But he's constantly irritating me when he asks what Im doing, where Im going..etc. In my head, only one question rang, "Why do I have to tell him so much?" At that exact moment, I started to feel abit ...worried. Im not abt to be hogged by a posessive guy fren again. I told him off, "Now I know why handphoens are not allowed in the Army. Coz they dont want the soldiers to be irritating pple when they're bored" it was a blatant insult, an intentional one but somehow I know that this "bro of mine is too thick headed to take it to heart..sigh I need to have a talk with him man...Need to be as blunt as possible.
As for the rest of my bris n sistas...I know ive caused bit of frustration to some of them for the past weeks. I guess my behaviour has been....very misleading...Guys, things arent what they seem k. I apologize if Ie made you guys think this way...but it really isnt what i meant. All I can say is....after all Ive gone through (be it relatively little) I wud always value frenship the most. Nothign changes that. I wud never wanna lose frenship for anythingelse...
u all tc
LOVE
Saturday, September 03, 2005
...
Went around singapore today, searching for Idan Raichel...to no avail. :( If That CD Shop doesnt haveit, HMV wudnt either. ...I proved my theory by going both places..oh well :/
Finally got my weights! Gonna tone up abit hahahaha (determination) My fren asked me why I needed it. Well I out it in a ... good way.
When i wave my hand to someone, the flab under the arm goes *wong* *wong* n flaps back n forth. Not to mention that it lasts longer than the wave! Takes time for a moving object to slow down n settle yah. So by toning up, the next time i wave to someone, the flab wudnt be waving "hi" as well!
Hahahaha abit sad for me..being so descriptive. Yet here my fren is, tryign to wave his arms to see if he had extra flabs to wave as well! Btw, we were both at the shop..waving... :( Two silly souls!
The good thing about having a fren or a guy fren w mus-cles (as my boss puts it) is that they can help w the carrying. :D I didnt feel the strain of carrying the 6k weights until I had to carry it home myself wahahaha Thanks bro! Ur a good tumbee! (however u spell it)
Tomorrow will be a long day! Got to work in the evening. SSO will be performing tom at the Kranji racecourse so Im going over to help. If any of you guys are free, do drop by! :) Kranji has beena a place that I wudnt like to explore anymore. Not because I dont like pple gambling or because I dont like horses...but coz I used to hang there abit w my ex. In fact that territory has been and is still my ex's territory hahahaha. Ive refrained from going there for a long time. But God has been extra kind to me...Out of sight, out of mind. :) Only a few times this week did something hit me and remind me of him. Anyway...I very confident even if I did go down to Kranji or anywhere near there, I wudnt see him. Coz God will keep him away from me. :) Hahahaha
Speaking of all this stuff, I wonder what wud happen if my ex bumped into any of my frens...my sistas i mean (those whom he doesnt know personally) I have 2 sistas who said that they wudnt wanna bump into him...hahahaha I dont know whether to feel glad or sad... They've heard n seen how I was before and maybe because of that, they ended up disliking him..yet he is a great guy when it comes to frenship n relationships. He's just too....nvm...
Anyway, all things said n done, Im glad Im good now! :) Trying to figure out which way to go int he future. Seems liek I have to renew my aspirations or my (advertising terms) strategies or tactics n objectives in life every weekend hahaha Renewal of the human will. :) Also gotta clean up my room for the upteenth time!
You all tc! Love you!
LOVE
Finally got my weights! Gonna tone up abit hahahaha (determination) My fren asked me why I needed it. Well I out it in a ... good way.
When i wave my hand to someone, the flab under the arm goes *wong* *wong* n flaps back n forth. Not to mention that it lasts longer than the wave! Takes time for a moving object to slow down n settle yah. So by toning up, the next time i wave to someone, the flab wudnt be waving "hi" as well!
Hahahaha abit sad for me..being so descriptive. Yet here my fren is, tryign to wave his arms to see if he had extra flabs to wave as well! Btw, we were both at the shop..waving... :( Two silly souls!
The good thing about having a fren or a guy fren w mus-cles (as my boss puts it) is that they can help w the carrying. :D I didnt feel the strain of carrying the 6k weights until I had to carry it home myself wahahaha Thanks bro! Ur a good tumbee! (however u spell it)
Tomorrow will be a long day! Got to work in the evening. SSO will be performing tom at the Kranji racecourse so Im going over to help. If any of you guys are free, do drop by! :) Kranji has beena a place that I wudnt like to explore anymore. Not because I dont like pple gambling or because I dont like horses...but coz I used to hang there abit w my ex. In fact that territory has been and is still my ex's territory hahahaha. Ive refrained from going there for a long time. But God has been extra kind to me...Out of sight, out of mind. :) Only a few times this week did something hit me and remind me of him. Anyway...I very confident even if I did go down to Kranji or anywhere near there, I wudnt see him. Coz God will keep him away from me. :) Hahahaha
Speaking of all this stuff, I wonder what wud happen if my ex bumped into any of my frens...my sistas i mean (those whom he doesnt know personally) I have 2 sistas who said that they wudnt wanna bump into him...hahahaha I dont know whether to feel glad or sad... They've heard n seen how I was before and maybe because of that, they ended up disliking him..yet he is a great guy when it comes to frenship n relationships. He's just too....nvm...
Anyway, all things said n done, Im glad Im good now! :) Trying to figure out which way to go int he future. Seems liek I have to renew my aspirations or my (advertising terms) strategies or tactics n objectives in life every weekend hahaha Renewal of the human will. :) Also gotta clean up my room for the upteenth time!
You all tc! Love you!
LOVE
Friday, September 02, 2005
:) My teacher's day present...
I was half an hour late for my tuition...a sucky way of endingt he weekdays...fortunately, the family was very very nice abt it and even asked me to eat my dinner before I start tutoring.
Today was both crazy, funny and stressful. Much as I wanted to do make sure I got everything done for Open House..I still missed out some stuff...Its was a very bad feeling for me... But...I shall not let it get me down..as the wise men say. :)
Abt my teachers day present. :P I failed to give my old teachers a present and much as one of them said that it wud be a waste of money to get a present for them...I still wanted to. Just..havnt done it hahah :P But today, somethign happened that came as a surprise. :) The small boy I was tutoring, came in with a present!! His mum picked it out, no doubt and the box n card...but I guess, I loved that he wrote the message hahah Or he copied from his mum hahaha whichever it is, I never expected something from them! A forever frens bear!
I agve that small boy the liberty of naming this bear hahah Its got a green shirt on witht eh letter, "N" No prizes for what it stands for ah. At the end, he named it, "Ning Bear" hahah very Original but heartwarming :P
he added in another line which I could nad cudnt help but smile, "That way next time Children's day, you can get me a present! You know what I want?...." Wahahaha kids are still kids lah...I wud have been the same. :P
Whatever it is, this bear is still gonna be prized and positioned on my table..to remind me how much committement I need to put in helping him. :)
LOVE
Today was both crazy, funny and stressful. Much as I wanted to do make sure I got everything done for Open House..I still missed out some stuff...Its was a very bad feeling for me... But...I shall not let it get me down..as the wise men say. :)
Abt my teachers day present. :P I failed to give my old teachers a present and much as one of them said that it wud be a waste of money to get a present for them...I still wanted to. Just..havnt done it hahah :P But today, somethign happened that came as a surprise. :) The small boy I was tutoring, came in with a present!! His mum picked it out, no doubt and the box n card...but I guess, I loved that he wrote the message hahah Or he copied from his mum hahaha whichever it is, I never expected something from them! A forever frens bear!
I agve that small boy the liberty of naming this bear hahah Its got a green shirt on witht eh letter, "N" No prizes for what it stands for ah. At the end, he named it, "Ning Bear" hahah very Original but heartwarming :P
he added in another line which I could nad cudnt help but smile, "That way next time Children's day, you can get me a present! You know what I want?...." Wahahaha kids are still kids lah...I wud have been the same. :P
Whatever it is, this bear is still gonna be prized and positioned on my table..to remind me how much committement I need to put in helping him. :)
LOVE
Thursday, September 01, 2005
:)
What can I say...hmmm :P Im in love! hahaha with an israelian guy, Idan Raichel. He's a songwriter and his music is heavenly!!! Its something you can listen to under the stars , close ur eyes and sway...Much as I dont understand the language..I still love it!
Because he's israelian, he's got the really exotic eyes..eyes that have an interesting shde to it. His was one of the performanes I was determined to catch at Womad...Im soooo not regretting it! Wohooo!
Been trying soo hard to get his music from the net...to no satisfactory avail. I gues I'll have to look at music stores for his album then. :( Doing all thsi searching.. I eralized that music is really able to bring pple from aroudn the world, together! Language isnt abarrier here. Its the song..the tune...One of the results shown from this search..was a blog from this israelian girl. I didnt read the blog, but i left a msg. If I were the girl, how wud i feel when a singaporean girl comes up to say hi. I probably wudnt even know where exactly spore is! Not to mention..chinese! Both loving the same thing..Idan raichel. if I were Idan raichel...would I be honored or shocked to see a singaporean chinese girl, buy my cd? If I were him, I wud n I wudnt. I wud because givent he language barrier...Id be surprised someone who doesnt know anything abt my language, wud love my music...I also wudnt because I travel around wmy music..even in USA.
Im overwhelmed by Idan raichel... :) Like I said...Im in love. :)
Also met up w my pri sch fren today..we did abit of calculation and w've come to an answer that we've been out of Pri sch 10 years ago. We've been frens since Pre Pri..sooothat wud make us frens for.. at least..12 years. That wud be..more than half of our current lifetime hahaha We sat n had coffee...reminisced abt pri sch times. The naughty things we did hahaha Its amazing how much we still rememebr man! Plus, its very funny that we shud remeber the same silly details. Eg: We had a mindmap course and one of the things e instructor said, was, " If you want to make ur teacher believe that ur paying attention and score mroe participation marks, or get int eh teachers good books, nod ur head more when they are talking." hahaha we just seemed to rememebr that the most haha out of everythingelse we learnt in the course hahah
Today has been a good day. :)
love
Because he's israelian, he's got the really exotic eyes..eyes that have an interesting shde to it. His was one of the performanes I was determined to catch at Womad...Im soooo not regretting it! Wohooo!
Been trying soo hard to get his music from the net...to no satisfactory avail. I gues I'll have to look at music stores for his album then. :( Doing all thsi searching.. I eralized that music is really able to bring pple from aroudn the world, together! Language isnt abarrier here. Its the song..the tune...One of the results shown from this search..was a blog from this israelian girl. I didnt read the blog, but i left a msg. If I were the girl, how wud i feel when a singaporean girl comes up to say hi. I probably wudnt even know where exactly spore is! Not to mention..chinese! Both loving the same thing..Idan raichel. if I were Idan raichel...would I be honored or shocked to see a singaporean chinese girl, buy my cd? If I were him, I wud n I wudnt. I wud because givent he language barrier...Id be surprised someone who doesnt know anything abt my language, wud love my music...I also wudnt because I travel around wmy music..even in USA.
Im overwhelmed by Idan raichel... :) Like I said...Im in love. :)
Also met up w my pri sch fren today..we did abit of calculation and w've come to an answer that we've been out of Pri sch 10 years ago. We've been frens since Pre Pri..sooothat wud make us frens for.. at least..12 years. That wud be..more than half of our current lifetime hahaha We sat n had coffee...reminisced abt pri sch times. The naughty things we did hahaha Its amazing how much we still rememebr man! Plus, its very funny that we shud remeber the same silly details. Eg: We had a mindmap course and one of the things e instructor said, was, " If you want to make ur teacher believe that ur paying attention and score mroe participation marks, or get int eh teachers good books, nod ur head more when they are talking." hahaha we just seemed to rememebr that the most haha out of everythingelse we learnt in the course hahah
Today has been a good day. :)
love
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