God and reminiscing

So Sunday was a really good day. Had choir service in the afternoon so went for the morning 1 with my sista.

It being her 1st time, I tried to explain to her on how the church works and believes. Pastor was especially funny that day! The whole time that I was wondering if my sista could take the message....which I hope she did...but I thought to myself that instead of wondering if asking her to go to my church this week was a bad idea...I left it to God. I know god knows who's coming to church and that he pays extra attention to the newbies to make sure the msg is palatable for them. Which is why Pastor was so funny. Pastor probably doesnt know..but the way he preached..helped lighten the mood for newbies..help them to feel at ease. im soo glad that my sista didnt seem uncomfortable. I hope not..
During the worship..while I cast my worries to God and just sang out loud to Jesus and praised His name...think I heard my sista sing too! Despite not knowing the tune well, she still sang out loud and that made me relieved and happy. Dont know if she felt uncomfortable and forced to conform to the masses...but by the end of the service..it sounded like she felt it.
I know I felt loved by Jesus...I know I sang till I teared..know how much he has loved me and brought me to where I am..the long winding road that I mayb often feel like Im alone..but He never fails to remind me that He is there. Yes Jesus does love me.
And as I thought abt my sista and wondering if she was okay and she had felt God's love...in my head the image of God's angels' holding her as she sang along..Jesus hugging her as she stood there. And I wonder if at any time..she held felt the warmth of God.
What Pastor never fails to do..is to make clear God's love for us..the one thing that can give us peace and reassurance in a time of finanical crisis etc.
I stand by the belief that its not what you do but your intention of doing it that makes it a good or bad thing.

Anyway after the service, I had to go for choir. Like the morning service, I felt so much love while singing that I did tear. Tears of joy! Something about singing in front of the congregation and through your voice and facial expression, showing them how much Jesus loves you...makes it so fulfilling. Because you are the evidence to all that Jesus does love mankind...an uplifting feeling. When people say music is food for the soul..it is true too. The heavenliest of music somehow touches our hearts. I wont deny that even now..as I hear the church sing classic hymns like "Jesus Loves Me This I Know..For The Bible Tells Me So" or "Amazing Grace" I get brought back to my childhood days and instantly I become more like the small child by God's side.
Which is what he wants..us to be his children..to lean on Him as children lean on their parents for comfort. What a wonderful feeling to have a godly father who cares for you and wraps you with the wind of the world! Yes Jesus does love me!

Okay so another thing was that I was thinking abt the past. Was on facebook and had a msg from my ex. Happily replied with no other intention at all except to keep in touch.
The feeling is a good "brotherly" feeling. How do I know? Coz before I saw the mail, I did bump into a student of mine whom Ive developed a "love - hate relationship" with. Alike the other bros I have made whom I am close to. I treasure the special sibling relationship I have with them and it really is nothing more than siblings but I feel as if Ive known them since childhood days..and while I joke with them..it doesnt seem like we have any age, mental gap etc..despite age difference! Some of them are lots younger. some of htem are same age..etc. I love my sistas the same way! And my students!
Im thankful of having developed this expressive love from my american cousins and auntie and uncle...that hugs are fine, saying"I love you" is fine. Done in the right way of course!
As for my ex (who was, is and always will be my bestest best bro), I still feel like I cud tell him everything! Hahah How good is it to come to that stage where its talkable! Where I have the urge to call him for a coffee and chat! And because we were in the same club and know the same pple, theres much to talk abt. I can even talk to him abt my feelings and reflections! But he is however abroad hahaha..cant afford long distance call.

So what I draw from these 2 days...I see God's work in me. I see myself as having been a blessing to certain people at certain times..I see His love for those around me...and I see how He has really healed me from within. I see his work on others and in me. And I see his blessings for me manifesting!

I could pretty much send an email to my ex and say that Ive come to the point of origin (meaning the original sibling feelings for him) and totally mean it and not feel embarassed to say hi to his gf or mum or anybody else! What would be the gap now is if he doesnt feel comfortable about even that.

All in all, I will cast this to God.

Yes God is good!

God Bless!