Recently, reestablished contact with my ex. I guess i never really lost contact with him...I just never really "spoke" to him. Speaking and talking is slightly different to me. Like hearing vs listening...
Anyway, I sent the first email and we started a conversation. By the end of it, I came to a realisation that maybe both of us may never be more than "just a friend"
I probably got it wrong..but after my conversation with him, it brought to mind the same topic that my friend and I were talking about recently.."Alone protects me"
I feel like the person I knew no longer exists in its entirety...only a shell left...
Of course I probably say this because I would be the last person he confides in...maybe...and vice versa.
times have changed...
But i felt sad..not because of the person I lost...but because (if it is true) of whats left of the person.
Maybe I am wrong and I hope so..because..it would be a pity to lose such a wonderful person.
Not the outer sociable shell... but the one inside...
Whilst clearing my room, I came across the old postcards he wrote to me...the loving words he used to write. I think I miss having those words written/said to me... or maybe even the heart of the person who wrote it...but not him.
The past gatherings seeing him interact with others and his emails, really made my heart settle... as the final confirmation...that this person is no longer the person i loved... RIP B.
of course to me, that is a good thing. :)
As for him, he will be to me as a friend from long ago. :)
God Bless
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment