One day dude..one day

Last night before I slept, i thought of many things..it almost got me sleepless. One of which was a hope..that one day. I would be able to have a proper conversation with my ex.
Dont assume that Im slipping back into a hole again.
Its not something that i havnt been thinking of. But it something I've lost faith in for such a long time.

I honestly want to recover our friendship to a point where we would be as good buds. Something in me felt that thats possible and that I would be able to once again have a hearty conversation with him.
But today, as I thought about how he is now, I don't know if we can still relate....
But something in me really wants to be perfectly honest w him and question if we can still relate to each other. Or has either of us lost a common trait somewhere along the way.

So we didnt get together. MEH Im ready to be good friends..because thats what we were before things changed. Like..Im ready to really try but ive always second guessed what he thinks.

I dont want our questions to be made of superficial "how are you doing"or "hows work"
I want someone whom I trust for honest opinions. Someone who still cares about my wellbeing and wudnt hesitate to give me the real answer. A brother.
I dont want us chuckling or laughing at each others jokes because its the right thing to do...

I know I've got friends whom have been that support system for me as well and Im not taking them for granted. One more good friend isnt too much. A broken relationship that is salvaged into a friendship...Some mistakes we make or that I made that I need to rectify because our friendship was too good to let it waste.

I know that it will take a while before I can face him physically and have as good a conversation because thats how I am. I am reserved. Im a reserved chinese. But the next we actually do have a coffee and sit down to chat, I want to be able to leave feeling like we did have an honest conversation again.. because I miss that. I really do.

One day when all us friends come together, i want to be able to joke with all of them and know that I dont need to put up a jovial front because they know me too well. And that I am actually comfortable.

I know its taken me a bloody decade to really commit to this hope and not be detered by it. But somehow, something have happened that made me realize this. I made a promise to him once that we would still be friends. I intend to keep it.

One day Pravin.

Charging up

Been thinking alot about how I want this year to be and Im trying to psyche myself up to really give my 200% this year to achieve as much as I can.

Truly ive been inspired by my sisters, close friends etc to really do stuff this year. Last year was a great year too but I know that somewhere, I lost my goal and let myself drift down the river. 

This year, the goal is not to let things just flow so easily...

This year will be conquered. 

As one of my good friends says, "wake up and tell yourself that you;re awesome!" Because you are!!!

:)

Im thankful to have so many people whom love me for who I am and who I could be. Seriously.

This year I HAVE to do something and any of you who read this and know me..you gonna have to keep tabs on me. make sure I live up to this promise to myself!

Thank God for Great Friends!!!

God Bless

Getting back into the mood of work

The end of last year was amazing and I had loads of love and fun but however much I love it, I need to get myself back into the productive mood.

Had abit of counselling session by Puneet. Got myself into a little motional melancholic bubble and he pretty much cheeerleaded me into psychoing myself that I am awesome.

Now I need to garner that awesomeness to knock of that to-do list like playing Pop Goes The Weasel....

Come ON Ning!!!!! You can SOOOOOO DO THIS SHIT!!!!!!

THIS YEAR WILL BE YOUR GAME YEAR!!!!!

RRAAWWRRRRR!

God BLess

Best line in West Wing. Best line ever used yet not mushy..

Season 7 Episode 21...

When Cj confronts Dan and admits that she's not good at sharing her life when she's so used to working independently with men.

 Dan: You can be scared. Thats okay. But you're not gonna walk away from me because you;re scared. Im not that scary.

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Dan: ..... I want us to talk like we're gonna figure it out together. I want us to talk because I like the sound of your voice. I just wanna talk!

Such a simple dialogue but it was soo clear and solo sincere and sweet.

I want that too...

I want someone to talk about everything to. And if we dont talk, I want someone I can sit next to and still feel like we had a meaningful time.

God Bless

New Year Resolutions

Been thinking about this...here it is..

1) learn to cycle
2) go for singing classes
3) Stay/get fitter w zumba and swimming/pilates/rockclimbing
4) write more songs
5) get to know more people
6) practise my guitar
7) Jam w Farmily
8) handle things more meticulously
9) spend more time with family, get to know them
10) love myself

Thanks it..i think...its a lot actually hahahaha

God Bless