Im slacking till 8pm and then get back to going my lighting design and sound design stuff. Much to do this weekend actually and Im quitely stressed...
Its abit hard to hold on to God when ur entire mind is on school work and stressed. I guess thats why God doesnt want us to worry. "let not your heart be troubled"
The room is cold but I actually feel heat in my face ..alike when I blush...but I guess its really because of the stress...
1 more week before term 3 ends. Its been a really quick term but its been a very very hectic term. I know I wont die from it but the real challenge is to persist on and do as well as you can....without going insane or without getting depressed or feel condemned...
I know when I look back on this, I will be amazed at how much I have gone through...part of me will regret not putting in more more effort...but sometimes body trumps will.....
I need to make sure I dont regret....
Miss all my folks. Miss my family and friends...miss my students. almost wish they were here to cheer me on and motivate me to keep going.
That said, I appreciate them keeping in touch online.
God Bless
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Saturday, August 04, 2012
..........
No title for this one coz the subject isnt specific anyway. And i cant keep going "busy month" or "crazy week" etc
Anyway had a brief moment of wanting to relive my poly years. Missed allt ehf un I had as a compere and perofrmer etc and the friends I made there. All my sistas and bruddas there. Pravin, Adam, Chris, Timothy, Jasper, Wendy, Cal, Neetz, Carol etc. :)
To meet them again and still call them sistas and bruddas to me is endearing. :)
Obviously the list of sistas and bruddas have increased. Some have become closer to me than others. But the time we shared was epic :)
Anyway anther thing is that one of my close sistas is coming down to SYD at end of aug and I am going to bring them around and join them in gold coast as well! :D I cant wait to bring them around SYD and explore Gold coast myself! Woohoooo!
As for family in SG, didnt get to speak much to mum about how thigns are except that the aunties got together to visit my grandpa's urn. I miss my grandpa...the best man in my life. Love him to bits and will always love him.
Another things that happened this week was that my posters arrived! :D did abit of reshuffling of stuff on my room walls :D a huge red poster that says "keep calm and trust god" and another nice poster of a painting of Jesus christ as well as a union jack poster that says "keep calm and carry on"
Sorta wished I had more people I know who were visiting sydney. :) wanna show them around sydney...as if I knew alot about sydney like that...not really..just that its mroe fun bring them around than me walking around myself :P
I guess I also miss my only other sisters whom I knew in Sydney...Sonal and Sam. Sonal has left for india for good. Sam is around but we never really meet up :/ oh well.....
Lastly, also missing my own sister. Hope she's doing well. She's the most stable person I know and it isnt just because she's small hence a better centre of gravity lol! Its because she's just emotionally and psychologically stable. indirectly, she would be my rock as well :) Love her :)
my emotional state is stable for now. aside from the usual stress, I guess Im missing home but not as badly as the last time. I can honestly say that there are some people I used to miss quite badly which Ive gotten over. non-family or farmily. this is sorta good coz then I wouldnt keep thinking of them or wanting to msg them hahahhaha and Im happy to say that at this point that the 2 particular people whom i found so hard to let go off, I have. :) While I do still feel like speaking to them, I wont pin on it. hahahah sigh..life is tough...
God Bless
Anyway had a brief moment of wanting to relive my poly years. Missed allt ehf un I had as a compere and perofrmer etc and the friends I made there. All my sistas and bruddas there. Pravin, Adam, Chris, Timothy, Jasper, Wendy, Cal, Neetz, Carol etc. :)
To meet them again and still call them sistas and bruddas to me is endearing. :)
Obviously the list of sistas and bruddas have increased. Some have become closer to me than others. But the time we shared was epic :)
Anyway anther thing is that one of my close sistas is coming down to SYD at end of aug and I am going to bring them around and join them in gold coast as well! :D I cant wait to bring them around SYD and explore Gold coast myself! Woohoooo!
As for family in SG, didnt get to speak much to mum about how thigns are except that the aunties got together to visit my grandpa's urn. I miss my grandpa...the best man in my life. Love him to bits and will always love him.
Another things that happened this week was that my posters arrived! :D did abit of reshuffling of stuff on my room walls :D a huge red poster that says "keep calm and trust god" and another nice poster of a painting of Jesus christ as well as a union jack poster that says "keep calm and carry on"
Sorta wished I had more people I know who were visiting sydney. :) wanna show them around sydney...as if I knew alot about sydney like that...not really..just that its mroe fun bring them around than me walking around myself :P
I guess I also miss my only other sisters whom I knew in Sydney...Sonal and Sam. Sonal has left for india for good. Sam is around but we never really meet up :/ oh well.....
Lastly, also missing my own sister. Hope she's doing well. She's the most stable person I know and it isnt just because she's small hence a better centre of gravity lol! Its because she's just emotionally and psychologically stable. indirectly, she would be my rock as well :) Love her :)
my emotional state is stable for now. aside from the usual stress, I guess Im missing home but not as badly as the last time. I can honestly say that there are some people I used to miss quite badly which Ive gotten over. non-family or farmily. this is sorta good coz then I wouldnt keep thinking of them or wanting to msg them hahahhaha and Im happy to say that at this point that the 2 particular people whom i found so hard to let go off, I have. :) While I do still feel like speaking to them, I wont pin on it. hahahah sigh..life is tough...
God Bless
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
This week will be smooth! I claim it dangit!
Got essay due next monday and Im gonna give it my best shot dangit! Im also not gonna get stressed dangit!
RRAAWWRRR!
Yes I guess a few people are worried about me and my depressing moods int eh past 1.5years but dont worry. God is with me. When Im depressed, its because I havnt been speaking to Him using His blessings for me etc.
And besides, Ive had the lowest level of depression I could ever have and that is as low as I am willing to go so I wont ever let myself go down there again. :)
Other than that, I swear I have no life because my weekends are boring. Ive only just taken up dancing again. Not to mention wanting to sing again...but havnt got down to looking for a singing coach. That and its blooddyyy expensive can.
I admit I do miss Singapore and I miss everyone there but Im gonna keep chugging on to finish my NIDA years
I dont know if I could ever come to a point where I would wanna stay in Aus. Which is good for those who are depending on me to go back to SG, but honestly still seems like it isnt an issue.
Anyway was looking at photos today of those i love in SG and its reminding me of who I really am. Whot eh real Ning is. This will always serve as a reminder to me of what my potential is. I will do it!
Pfftt essay shmaasssay! I can do this shizz! GGGRRRRRR!!!!
God Bless
RRAAWWRRR!
Yes I guess a few people are worried about me and my depressing moods int eh past 1.5years but dont worry. God is with me. When Im depressed, its because I havnt been speaking to Him using His blessings for me etc.
And besides, Ive had the lowest level of depression I could ever have and that is as low as I am willing to go so I wont ever let myself go down there again. :)
Other than that, I swear I have no life because my weekends are boring. Ive only just taken up dancing again. Not to mention wanting to sing again...but havnt got down to looking for a singing coach. That and its blooddyyy expensive can.
I admit I do miss Singapore and I miss everyone there but Im gonna keep chugging on to finish my NIDA years
I dont know if I could ever come to a point where I would wanna stay in Aus. Which is good for those who are depending on me to go back to SG, but honestly still seems like it isnt an issue.
Anyway was looking at photos today of those i love in SG and its reminding me of who I really am. Whot eh real Ning is. This will always serve as a reminder to me of what my potential is. I will do it!
Pfftt essay shmaasssay! I can do this shizz! GGGRRRRRR!!!!
God Bless
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Done & dusted
Triple J project done and dusted. Relieved and yes I did have fun at times.
The week days ended with a good bible study session. I guess the spiritual thirst I have suffered from for the past 1.5years made me feel the need to do bible study. Daniel.
Weirdly enough, I feel like I could feel comfortable amongst this group of singaporeans and malaysians etc. Maybe all in all, I still feel comfortable with singaporeans..maybe..or maybe God's is giving me the peace to speak and make friends. Or even that everyone seems to be very forthcoming :)
the main topic for this entry is more about todays sermon.
I guess admittedly, today's sermon was abit hard to digest but after speaking to Tracy(another church mate) I felt God's love and that simple revelation was enough to make me feel happy and slightly speechless. Even Tracy had no words to describe the simple happiness. coz theres nothing that needs to be said but "yup" and smile at each other.
Without that conversation between Tracy and I, the sermon would have been full of condemnation and it would change my impression of the church. Obviously Im still trying to get a feel of which way the church swings...
Hosea 4&5 was a chapter of God's wrath on the Children of Israel who abandoned God. It is scary to see God's wrath because it feels like GOd threw them out to destruction. But what wasn't mentioned and should have been mentioned during the sermon was how this wrath was in the old testament, before jesus came and saved the children of israel and took the wrath upon himself. voluntarily.
Only after that talk did it make sense of the entirety of the purpose of those 2 chapters. its not only to remind us of how God is righteous and hates sin, but also how much love Jesus has for us and God has for us that He sent His son to take on all that wrath.
It almost seems like me typing this out, doesn't justify the revelation. But when we first had the revelation and reminder, both of us smiled and couldn't utter anything else but "yeah" we sat there witht her revelation sinking into our hearts and for 2 seconds, it was quiet between us.
Anyway the next week is not gonna be as stressful as the past but I still have the essay to finish which I sort of fear. So as i do my research, I will cast my fears upon God and cast my thought process for this easy on God too. :)
God Bless
The week days ended with a good bible study session. I guess the spiritual thirst I have suffered from for the past 1.5years made me feel the need to do bible study. Daniel.
Weirdly enough, I feel like I could feel comfortable amongst this group of singaporeans and malaysians etc. Maybe all in all, I still feel comfortable with singaporeans..maybe..or maybe God's is giving me the peace to speak and make friends. Or even that everyone seems to be very forthcoming :)
the main topic for this entry is more about todays sermon.
I guess admittedly, today's sermon was abit hard to digest but after speaking to Tracy(another church mate) I felt God's love and that simple revelation was enough to make me feel happy and slightly speechless. Even Tracy had no words to describe the simple happiness. coz theres nothing that needs to be said but "yup" and smile at each other.
Without that conversation between Tracy and I, the sermon would have been full of condemnation and it would change my impression of the church. Obviously Im still trying to get a feel of which way the church swings...
Hosea 4&5 was a chapter of God's wrath on the Children of Israel who abandoned God. It is scary to see God's wrath because it feels like GOd threw them out to destruction. But what wasn't mentioned and should have been mentioned during the sermon was how this wrath was in the old testament, before jesus came and saved the children of israel and took the wrath upon himself. voluntarily.
Only after that talk did it make sense of the entirety of the purpose of those 2 chapters. its not only to remind us of how God is righteous and hates sin, but also how much love Jesus has for us and God has for us that He sent His son to take on all that wrath.
It almost seems like me typing this out, doesn't justify the revelation. But when we first had the revelation and reminder, both of us smiled and couldn't utter anything else but "yeah" we sat there witht her revelation sinking into our hearts and for 2 seconds, it was quiet between us.
Anyway the next week is not gonna be as stressful as the past but I still have the essay to finish which I sort of fear. So as i do my research, I will cast my fears upon God and cast my thought process for this easy on God too. :)
God Bless
Sunday, July 22, 2012
first day in a new church
So I went to church today..after a long while. felt drier not eh inside and knew i needed to renew my love for God or needed to be reminded of God's love. Without Him I know I can't survive emotionally
Its was interesting walking into a lecture theatre church witht eh entire congregation made up of really young singaporeans and malaysians.
Somehow "In Christ Alone" was picked as one of the worship songs and I almost felt in me that God was acknowledging that I was back and this song was perfect for me to declare my renewed love and confidence to Him.
The sermon was interesting and expounding on it made me recognise how much love He has for us.
Im gonna hold on to that renewed love in Him to face this week!
God Bless
Its was interesting walking into a lecture theatre church witht eh entire congregation made up of really young singaporeans and malaysians.
Somehow "In Christ Alone" was picked as one of the worship songs and I almost felt in me that God was acknowledging that I was back and this song was perfect for me to declare my renewed love and confidence to Him.
The sermon was interesting and expounding on it made me recognise how much love He has for us.
Im gonna hold on to that renewed love in Him to face this week!
God Bless
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