Emm okay to be honest, this christmas was okay. Im not refering to not having presents etc...but to the lack of meaning of christmas...
Also maybe coz Christmas was too short... And it also sucks when the new sch term starts next week....meaning the new year wud suck too.
I guess Im feeling bad for not even reminding myself of why we are celebrating christmas.
Its not just family gathering. Not that my family gatherings were complete.
Its more of the fact that Jesus saved us from our sins and from Satan's hold. Without Him being born to this world...we wouldnt have been saved. its all about Jesus.
Anyway...in a flash...Christmas is over. The 1st day of it at least....but I dont exactly celebrate Christmas on the other 12 days as well..sooo
Hmmm
God Bless
Friday, December 26, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Christmas service..and quote of the day!
Quote of the day first!
WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE....SHOVE BACK!
Christmas service was good. Had tog et to the indoor stadium by 6.45am so woke up at5am
Teared at Mary's Boy Child and Holy Night...
They also did a performance with Lifehouse - Everything..
That song never fails to touch my heart..esp the performance done with it. :)
I realize how hard it is to pass on our troubles to God and let him take the wheel...Its so hard...harder than carrying a heavy box of things...harder than passing A levels, harder than staying awake during service....
If satan is out to get me...he's good at it because he never stops telling me things that make me wanna depend on my own strength to accomplish. If I do so, I knw that I wont be able to get what i need to do...done...only way is to depend on the One who has limitless power...
As I sang the songs today...I would have wanted to throw my heart wholly to God but at the back fo my head, I had a list of things I wanted to do...Like going down to central to see 1 of the student bands perform...like tomorrow's club outing...like next year's lunch performances!
Thinking abt all that instantly tires me out and it scares me...I so need to keep reminding myself to pluck all these problems out and hand them to God..and because Satan chooses to plague me with them again and again ana again....I end up feeling unrighteous because I cant place my problems with God and keep them there! And that tires me more. :(
Nonetheless, I believe my God is an awesome God. I will keep trying..not to throw my probs to him..but to remember that I dont have to do good works and earn his favour before I am blessed. Because I am God's child and as all children..they inherit the blessings of their parents.
3 things for this year that I have handed to God:
1: Favour at work
2: Happiness in Life
3: More Bonded family
God Bless
WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE....SHOVE BACK!
Christmas service was good. Had tog et to the indoor stadium by 6.45am so woke up at5am
Teared at Mary's Boy Child and Holy Night...
They also did a performance with Lifehouse - Everything..
That song never fails to touch my heart..esp the performance done with it. :)
I realize how hard it is to pass on our troubles to God and let him take the wheel...Its so hard...harder than carrying a heavy box of things...harder than passing A levels, harder than staying awake during service....
If satan is out to get me...he's good at it because he never stops telling me things that make me wanna depend on my own strength to accomplish. If I do so, I knw that I wont be able to get what i need to do...done...only way is to depend on the One who has limitless power...
As I sang the songs today...I would have wanted to throw my heart wholly to God but at the back fo my head, I had a list of things I wanted to do...Like going down to central to see 1 of the student bands perform...like tomorrow's club outing...like next year's lunch performances!
Thinking abt all that instantly tires me out and it scares me...I so need to keep reminding myself to pluck all these problems out and hand them to God..and because Satan chooses to plague me with them again and again ana again....I end up feeling unrighteous because I cant place my problems with God and keep them there! And that tires me more. :(
Nonetheless, I believe my God is an awesome God. I will keep trying..not to throw my probs to him..but to remember that I dont have to do good works and earn his favour before I am blessed. Because I am God's child and as all children..they inherit the blessings of their parents.
3 things for this year that I have handed to God:
1: Favour at work
2: Happiness in Life
3: More Bonded family
God Bless
Friday, December 19, 2008
Christmas time is near....very near..part2
Im in the christmasy mood but im not in the christmasy mood.....does that make sense?
Been thinking of life things this time....
Through this month...had friends talking to me abt finding someone hahaha and the more we discuss abt it, the more I come across as someone who is anti-social, snide, sulky and serious all the time! Am I?
I havnt gotten the time to think back on how I really feel abt certain pasts and whether I really feel like im responsible and guilty abt it..which forces me to close myself up..etc etc...
Wah Lao!
So anyway while everyone feels snuggly and warm together, I on the otherhand revish the get togethers with friends and students but even i cant deny that something is missing. :/
I sorta miss having someone to share christmas with.
Then again while I say all this Im reminded that Christmas isnt just abt sharing and giving..but also abt celebrating Jesus birthday. So I know that regardless of how I feel, I wanna keep in mind that Jesus is the one that deserves the birthday wishes this year and not so much for each other.
Deep inside I know that with faith, the person will come. :)
As for the rest of you who are celebrating christmas with someone or no one special, dont forget the real meanings of christmas....God Bless...
God Bless
Been thinking of life things this time....
Through this month...had friends talking to me abt finding someone hahaha and the more we discuss abt it, the more I come across as someone who is anti-social, snide, sulky and serious all the time! Am I?
I havnt gotten the time to think back on how I really feel abt certain pasts and whether I really feel like im responsible and guilty abt it..which forces me to close myself up..etc etc...
Wah Lao!
So anyway while everyone feels snuggly and warm together, I on the otherhand revish the get togethers with friends and students but even i cant deny that something is missing. :/
I sorta miss having someone to share christmas with.
Then again while I say all this Im reminded that Christmas isnt just abt sharing and giving..but also abt celebrating Jesus birthday. So I know that regardless of how I feel, I wanna keep in mind that Jesus is the one that deserves the birthday wishes this year and not so much for each other.
Deep inside I know that with faith, the person will come. :)
As for the rest of you who are celebrating christmas with someone or no one special, dont forget the real meanings of christmas....God Bless...
God Bless
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Youth
maybe its resentment that causes me to say this...how my life so far has been relatively mundane and most of it very worth remembering...if i think abt it long enough it prob isnt true...
Having come back from camp...despite it being less than 5k away from mainland, Im quite happy to be away from Spore. Not so much because of stress...but because I get to leave Spore...how sad is that....
Thinking abt it...I havnt even been to thailand, vietnam, bangkok, philipines,
I have been to hongkong, china, australia, malaysia, indonesia,
Still i wonder if i day i would be able to step into russia, amsterdam, scotland, israel, greece, rome,
Knowing my warped family..I figure that there would be more years before I could really travel on my own..or with friends..get this..my dad asked for consent form for the camp...I amt he staff bringing them! what consent form?
Haiz...
I soo wanna travel..I wanna see the world man...when will I do that? when Im past 40? when things in me start creaking? Then wouldnt I be like my auntie who goes overseas more than twice a year..to make up for lost time? I dont blame her. Id encourage her.
Or like my mum who now doesnt travel much..even if she cud and even if she had the money...
no prizes for why she wont go....
so many family issues as I await my own time of when Id pluck the courage to let them know that Ive the age and right to fly.
Well as I came back and the reality of coming home and "fun over" dawns on me...I slipped into the poetic mood of writing abt youth but pity I cudnt get a pen and paper ready to harness the mood.
I could dwell on this situation as long as I will it but that would only make me unhappier. Instead I will hand this to God and trust that He will speak to my dad....
You know....its not so much being angry...its more of being stifled...I feel more dissappointment and sad than anger for my situation...I cant be angry because my situation would always be better than others...
My dissappointment comes when we center our behaviour and attitude and mood unto a single person in the family who might not have God's wisdom to harness and put it to good use.
Frustration....
Dont get me wrong....its not that I dont respect family...I do..I dont wanna be mean and I dont wanna be disrespectful....but at times where I cant hold it anymore...I really hope that my outburst will not be lethal...
I know the things I wanna do in life...but not all of them can be achieved if I avoid conflict..if I avoide being honest and candid...I just dont want to hurt feelings..would this be counted as being "too nice"?
I know the best way would be to let God handle this entire issue..and just await the time where I would not be seen as the 12 year old...but the adult..Im not saying that I am very capable on getting around....but everything takes experience and planning...
Abba...I cast this issue in your hands....You know the best time for me to get through to to others and I lean on you for that. I know if it is needed that you wouldbe my mediator and my advisor and that should the time come to be candid..that it would be done in a way that no bad comes out from it.
God Bless
Having come back from camp...despite it being less than 5k away from mainland, Im quite happy to be away from Spore. Not so much because of stress...but because I get to leave Spore...how sad is that....
Thinking abt it...I havnt even been to thailand, vietnam, bangkok, philipines,
I have been to hongkong, china, australia, malaysia, indonesia,
Still i wonder if i day i would be able to step into russia, amsterdam, scotland, israel, greece, rome,
Knowing my warped family..I figure that there would be more years before I could really travel on my own..or with friends..get this..my dad asked for consent form for the camp...I amt he staff bringing them! what consent form?
Haiz...
I soo wanna travel..I wanna see the world man...when will I do that? when Im past 40? when things in me start creaking? Then wouldnt I be like my auntie who goes overseas more than twice a year..to make up for lost time? I dont blame her. Id encourage her.
Or like my mum who now doesnt travel much..even if she cud and even if she had the money...
no prizes for why she wont go....
so many family issues as I await my own time of when Id pluck the courage to let them know that Ive the age and right to fly.
Well as I came back and the reality of coming home and "fun over" dawns on me...I slipped into the poetic mood of writing abt youth but pity I cudnt get a pen and paper ready to harness the mood.
I could dwell on this situation as long as I will it but that would only make me unhappier. Instead I will hand this to God and trust that He will speak to my dad....
You know....its not so much being angry...its more of being stifled...I feel more dissappointment and sad than anger for my situation...I cant be angry because my situation would always be better than others...
My dissappointment comes when we center our behaviour and attitude and mood unto a single person in the family who might not have God's wisdom to harness and put it to good use.
Frustration....
Dont get me wrong....its not that I dont respect family...I do..I dont wanna be mean and I dont wanna be disrespectful....but at times where I cant hold it anymore...I really hope that my outburst will not be lethal...
I know the things I wanna do in life...but not all of them can be achieved if I avoid conflict..if I avoide being honest and candid...I just dont want to hurt feelings..would this be counted as being "too nice"?
I know the best way would be to let God handle this entire issue..and just await the time where I would not be seen as the 12 year old...but the adult..Im not saying that I am very capable on getting around....but everything takes experience and planning...
Abba...I cast this issue in your hands....You know the best time for me to get through to to others and I lean on you for that. I know if it is needed that you wouldbe my mediator and my advisor and that should the time come to be candid..that it would be done in a way that no bad comes out from it.
God Bless
Monday, December 08, 2008
choir, art xhibit, christmas
Choir has been good. been going for practice and Ive been blessed with teh knack of being able to follow the harmony. Thanks to God.
Cant wait for the christmas serving. Will be singing for christmas service and cant wait because I really wanna use that time to glorify His name.
Its such a joyous feeling to be singing praises to Him when I know He deserves it all.
Like Im talking to him or singing to Him straight and He is there to hear it. Which He is.
The problem now is getting over being conscious of forgetting the lyrics and the harmony..and just focusing on singing to Him.
The art xhibition is over thankfully..had abit of confidence prob w that event and screwed up the compereing really...I sucked...that would be the last big event for this year and Im really glad.
Whats left is Christmas...
This year my heart is filled with thoughts of how to make this christmas special...I feel like I need to do it...I felt like Im sooo detached from gatherings, family gatherings, the joyous feeling of celebrating Jesus birthday ( even if it wasnt the exact date) that I want to do somethign special to spread the christmas spirit and I cant afford to wait till its closer to feel the spirit seep in.
Ideas anyone? How abt malacca!?!
God Bless
Cant wait for the christmas serving. Will be singing for christmas service and cant wait because I really wanna use that time to glorify His name.
Its such a joyous feeling to be singing praises to Him when I know He deserves it all.
Like Im talking to him or singing to Him straight and He is there to hear it. Which He is.
The problem now is getting over being conscious of forgetting the lyrics and the harmony..and just focusing on singing to Him.
The art xhibition is over thankfully..had abit of confidence prob w that event and screwed up the compereing really...I sucked...that would be the last big event for this year and Im really glad.
Whats left is Christmas...
This year my heart is filled with thoughts of how to make this christmas special...I feel like I need to do it...I felt like Im sooo detached from gatherings, family gatherings, the joyous feeling of celebrating Jesus birthday ( even if it wasnt the exact date) that I want to do somethign special to spread the christmas spirit and I cant afford to wait till its closer to feel the spirit seep in.
Ideas anyone? How abt malacca!?!
God Bless
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