9..not the best number for now...

Going crazy....9 clubs is now starting to take a toll on me...

Im not sick or depressed...just...very much tired.

For the past 2 months its been...CCA Drive, Club interviews, Grad ceremonies, FOCs, Granny, FOCs, SPX, Camps, SIWF and the new sch term...sianz..

nothing for now...no time

memories

SPARC & Comperes Camp is on.

Was talking to my students abt how Comperes & Sparcs used to be and it brought back a helluve lot of memories. All good. :)

It also reminded me that my bestest best bro's birthday was yesterday! or rather..2 days ago hehe (past 12am)

I cant even begin to recount my memories in SP..not even mentioning that 90% of em are with my best bunch of friends in Comperes & SPARC.

It also reminded me of my previous relationship which I feel is still a particularly funny one and I recall it with mostly joy and laughters :) the sad part only comes when I think about me not having the same experiences now haha
Even after watching silly romance comedies

But as I always believe...God has someone for me and the person will come or resurface. Im not gonna go back intot he past and miss anyone..or even go crazy over guys coz I know when God sends, he will come. :) He wont be perfect but he will compliment me.

Got a brother i met up with during the weekend and this bro has known me since sec sch. He said my posts sound depressing. WAT!!! Hahahah
He says I always seem like im on the edge then I steer back at the last minute. No I Dont! Ahahaha I'm at safe ground and thanks to God, I know I wont ever go into depression because He is with me and I can always depend on Him to keep me mentally and physically healthy.
I can be near the edge and steer back because Im already on safe ground at the fin and reflecting abt my life.

All I know is as I sing praises to God and see an image of His love for me...my heart is soooo full that I dont need a bf to keep me happy. My Jesus is able to do just that. And I know for a fact that the next guy who I will be with..will have the same feelings for God. God will give me a guy who He has stamped and approved. Amen!

time to sleep!

God Bless

Granny, Sister & I

So Granny is at rest now. No comments on that.

However before I move away fromt hat topic, I hearby conclude that before I die, I will write a will that also states how my funeral/wake would be done.
1) No slow and somber gospel songs of olden days. Hillsongs or at least happier songs. ESp at the time that the van transports my coffin and the rest of hte family follows behind.
2) No displaying of my body(shell) esp opening it out and throwing flowers in. Its a shell!
3) No preaching of "from dust to dust etc" more on " she is having a whale of a time in heaven!"
I dont need people paying last respects to me when Im dead. Respect should be done when you're. Any later and its fake respect.
Yep..thats it!

So I'll move on to the next entry. dont wanna mix this w the rest

wake day 1...Tribute to Mama...

So the battle has ended and my grandma is now w the Lord...She's in heaven skating,flying, bouncing on clouds, running, walking, strolling w angels and strolling w God. Amen!

Sunday night was the last night and as my sis and I sang hymns to granny (aka mama)...we didnt think she'd leave us on monday morning.

I know she's safe in heaven and immensly happier than any other human on earth now so I'm happy for her in that sense but when I think about her not being physically with us...it still makes me choke up.

So I choose to think of things from her perspective and be happy.

Heres a tribute of my granny.
1) She had 7 children, 10 grandchildren, 3 great granchildren and other grandchildren in laws and children in laws.
2) She lived till a fruitful age of 94 despite her various ailments..
3) Her hobbie is mahjong, reading the bible and listening to oldies
4) She is fluent in cantonese, mandarin and english and knows a tinge of malay
5) She has 1 foot shorter than another and hence has 1 shoe shorter than another
6) She is a child of God

I remember her recounting her childhood about how she stayed below/above a brothel..or was it a gambling den? And she had a friend there whom she was "hanging out" with. 1 Day, she was there and the police raided the place and she called pulled too and was kept in the police station for a day... :) Yes my granny. she might have a criminal record

I remember how she told me abt how she had been married to her 1st husband etc..

I remember how she hated dolls and animals

I remember her bringing us to church at St Andrews.

I remember her cooking for me and screaming at me to eat..or shower etc...

I treasure all the memories and lessons she'd taught me...She's a rgeat granny and I know she knows. Esp when she's in heaven and she can look down and see us. :)

God Bless

The past 2weeks have been grueling...

Not only have I been scolded and reprimanded unneccessarily..but the whole past week was Grad ceremony...Im pooped..and just when I thought my weekend would be well spent with an east coast outing...and I meet up w my djs....the worst happens...

I cant say anything now coz it chokes me to even think about it..but I will..soon...

Im on the border of not knowing to think right now....I wish I could go straight to God in his face and hear his voice....and ask him a million questions...

Of course...alot of thigns are found int he bible...I just havnt been the most dilligent to read it and maybe thats where I get mixed up.

I know for the next few days..I have alot of soul searching to do...

God Bless