The Grinch, His Dog and Whoville or Maybe Mr Scrooge...

Yeah well Im pretty near to breaking point...had an okay day at work..tried to start the day obediently with some quiet time, ended the day with 2 of my bros andd Mario Wii game..but ended up having a quarrel with my dad.

Its nothing new. I admit....when my dad's around..I go code red inside. Not the best things to say about my dad but through the years....my love for him has wained. I say this knowing my uncles or aunties might be reading this but even ont eh surface...Im sure they would have sensed the kind of strain our entire household has.

And just 2 days ago, Pastor Brian Houston was talking about God in our household.

I accept the fact that my sis and I are the only direct relatives in this household who can save my mom and my dad and if I rest on God;s word, its accomplishable..only with His word. Because after tonight...I know my flesh is so weak tat nothing I do in my own srtength would be enough for me to even bypass my code red.

I dont know...maybe its me...I see my dad as someone who has soooo much bad stuff in his heart (not saying he's evil) that he doesnt see good in others. Not even his direct family. I swear theres at least a dozen spirits in Him who are playing with His mind. Im not joking... Like the crazy guy Jesus bumped into with a legion of evil spirits in him

In my flesh,,,I see my dad as the Grinch  and I now see my mum as the Grinch's dog.
Not to use words like Bitch etc. Nope...why I say she's the dog is because she's still scared of him and tries so much to please him that its affected her mental and her physical health too.

We grew up in a family that bites their lips/tongues and swallows everything....but its getting harder to stay that way. Esp when I know for sure that my God doesnt want things this way!!!!

I want sooo much to garner the Holy Spirit in me and hold fast to Jesus promises of His power...and chase off the devils in my dad!!! Think of it as exorcism if you want to think extreme.

The more i think about it...the more the vocab in my head gets vulgar.

How do you live with a thousand demons in your head spewing doubt in everyone you know and casting lies on everyone you've met? Not to mention making you paranoid with "what if this happened to your daughters?"s

Just thinking about this long enough can make my heart smaller...not to mention the one who has to suffer from it.

As we sat int he same room....I teared...not because I had defied my dad...but because I felt helpless in trying to reason with him. That I cant even save my own dad...In my flesh I hoped something would go wrong to prove to him once and for all that not everything he says is right. But my spirit knows that my flesh cant be trusted with sensible thoughts.

Every day I see my mum and dad think and how they are affected by life and time etc..I rememebr how Martha (int eh bible) was scurrying around the kitchen preparing a meal for Jesus & His disciples while Mary just sat at Jesus feet to listen to His words.
Martha got pissed coz she was the only one working for Jesus so she went to Jesus and said " Lord is it nothing to you that Mary has left me alone to serve?...." In one shot...she blamed both Jesus and Mary.
Jesus replied, " Martha Martha you are anxious and troubled about many things"

I cast my cares to God tonight...knowing that if I think about how troubled my family is...I will be controlled by the devil to think that the people around me can never be saved. Nor can I be any help to save them...when I know my God will use even the smallest thing to bring down a giant...likewise...he will use little weak and "not good at sustaining a discussion" me to win over the battle with Satan over my parents.

I know the best thing out of all this...is that Satan has caused me to look to Jesus more.

My affection for my dad may be waining....but I know God's love for my dad is strong as well..likewise for my mum. So I will bank on my God's love for me and my love for my God...and my faith in Him to use me as a weapon to win this battle.

God Bless