Realization

Maybe its just one of those times that makes me just that bit more emotional... *shrugs

Anyway I was reminded today that as an officer, we can never and will never "belong" to any club. because we have to many of them. Which might be sad but it has to be so..I guess.
We have to be impartial, objective and hence its probe not a good idea to be too gummy to them, especially if you;re anything like me.

Anyway today is the wedding of two of the ISC alumni. Yes they are married to each other. :) I get bit excited to see the alumni, especially those who have come together, gotten married with each other etc. Today was like a double celebration..seeing them get married, and a mini unofficial ISC alumni gathering.

Admitedly, yesterday's headache left me dazed and almost unwilling to turn up. but knowing that the groom had personally asked me to turn up, I did...walking them walk down that aisle together did make me tear.

Catching up with some alumni who had disappeared for such a long timing resurfaced for this occasion, was a pleasant surprise.

But when one of them exclaimed and said " you are from ISC meh" twice, I gotta admit that my emotions and maybe even pride got the better of me. SIGH..

Truly I am not. :) I didn't sign up for it, never went through camp and interviews with them etc. Didi none of that with them and as such, if thats what it takes to be in ISC, no Im not from ISC.

This goes to show one thing though..I have spent too much time with my "kids" and forgotten how to live my own life. And now that such a reminder has been said, I can't help but tell myself " well...you sorta deserved that" "you weren't entirely there for them when they needed it and yet you were with them too much to remember that you had your own life. So essentially, its a lose lose situation. *shrugs*

do i feel hurt? yeah probably so. But hurt is as much a part of life as is happiness and anger. And such one just needs to learn from it. Where do I go from here? I guess Im reminded to step back bit more again. Which is a lot easier considering that I am no longer the officer of this club.

The members will always have their memories and feel their ownership of the club. But the officer will never have that sense of belonging. :) because the officer will always be seen as an officer.

God Bless