I lost you once, now I'll lose you again.
This time it's my own decision...
This time, I call the shots..
This time, nobody but me, will decide whether all this love was worth my time.
It doesn't matter anymore if you were the one who made me smile and laugh..
It doesn't matter anymore if you were the one I would think of when I was at my lowest..
The point is, I know you won't be there for me if I didn't call...and this time I won't call...
I dont want to be this weakling who runs to someone all the time...
I want to be someone who is strong when it counts, especially when others run to me...
And this time, it counts.
Maybe my face is still wet and my eyes still sting...maybe but tears still stain the bedsheets... But I know that a second more of not calling you...is a second more that will make me stronger.
And one of these days, this will be in one of my songs..one of my anthems...
The truth is, it is too hard to love you..and it is too easy for me to fall in love..and the both dont mix.
I will never know what you are thinking without me first expressing how I feel..and for me to do that, would be pulling down all the pieces of this wall I have built. At this moment, I almost feel like it's not worth me pulling them down... And if there is any bravery in being honest, I am scared.
So Im saying goodbye again... we will still meet...but this little gap in the wall that I had thought was a good idea, needs to close up again....
Somethings we just need to keep calm and carry on...even if its after the tears.
God Bless
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