You

You probably would never know and that would be fine with me..Not that what I feel isnt enough to start something...

But I've learnt in the years, that my love isn't sufficient for anything..it cant move a mountain, it cant make rainbows and it cant make you love me.

I guess I lie to myself and you and everyone else that you are a brother, a good friend...but in truth, you would be a..love. I'd put you as a confidante but you wouldnt fit in that shelf...you'd take up the whole shelf... I dont tell you who I am because if I start, i cant stop... And the fear is that I wont be the same for you or I cant be the same for you...

It's simple really...I thought that with everything we've been through and I know that you only see me as a friend..a fellow mate...because that's really what we mostly meet for or talk about...

When really all I need..maybe as a sign...is a call or msg to say that you do want to meet me..for no bloody reason at all... Even if that sounds silly... For no bloody reason at all. Even if it was for an hour or 30mins...for no good reason... but we're all too scared of falling arent we...

I wont say anything because...it's safer that way... because I know that I can be strong..that I wont trip when I face you..I wont disappoint..because there's nothing to disappoint when one doesnt have expectations. Or that if I do disappoint, that I could slip into the shadows and maybe drop whatever it is we have..and call all this..a dream...

after all, it took me 1 second to love you..and years to let go...and maybe it will take many more years... but if you fly off or I fly off, then years would shorten to months and days...

At least that's what I think... but this could all be a dilusion hahaha