I Am Legend...I Am On A Roll

Went to watch I am Legend yesterday w colleagues and students. Or rather..its helmut and the students...

For starters, Sis was home and so I was more comfortable staying at home...watched loads of tv and went to Mac Donalds with sis for lunch. The super rare moments we can spend together..nonetheless not one of it is precious to me. :)

Stayed at home and worked on my songs...its been such awhile since I last wrote songs..but I think this time..Im slowly getting back on track..of course..for now..my songs more or less sound the same...but having seenw hat Ive done throught he years...I must say that Ive gotten better...I think...Would anyone wanna hear them? I think they would...just that Id be to shy to sing it...they mean alot to me..from personal experince..from dreamss..from peoples experience...but mstly mine. I must admit that given the recent incident w my ex....Id spurred me to write more...no matter how things are..he is still my inspiration hahahahah

Well..Im sure I can find other inspirations next time...:)

I think Im getting better today!

Yesterday...while packing my room, I stumbled unto some things that I shudnt stumble on..much less open it up to see...I know I didnt cry since Christmas..but I think yesterday I did...
Old postcards, poems, letters etc from my ex. :/ *shrugs* What to do...let time heal lor.
I believe that many years later..Id be able to take them out again and laugh at them.

OH! received a request yesterday...to perform at loyang point tonight! Heheheh Singing I mean. 2 english songs! Havnt chosen them (Im in deep shit)....yeah..just checked where loyang point is and its damn far from home. Nonetheless..I think I still wanna go coz I miss singing on stage...
So if you happent o read this...you can come down. 6.30pm loyang point. :)

K gotta go...gotta search for my songs now..

God Bless

Truly..Nothing is Impossible

I fought with myself for such a long time and finally I dont have to fight anymore...
Yesterday's gathering was a blast but also a heartbreaker and if my ex reads this, he'll once again think Im an idiot. Anyway I guess..so long as I dont find someone who can take over htat position...the feelings will still be there....so..nothing is impossible...including erasing the feelings for the 1st one to break your heart.

I didnt cry or I didnt tear but I am....numb...not numb in a good way..numb in a...slightly paralysed way....spoke to one of my sistas abt it and Im sooo glad I cud talk to her....she knows exactly how I feel...

To be honest, I must say that my head goes, " Im not surprised that he could bounce back." my heart goes, "maybe I wasnt important enough" Sigh...well watever it is..both of the parts of my anatomy agree that....they have to let go. My heart can only hang its head low, keep mum and continue walking...my head...thinks of how to make myself happy.

I do think all this is good news. Im not happy abt it but it is good news. Today I came across a whole line of boats and containers and int he past, Id look at them and wonder what it wud be like working there....and how important they cud be to someone..my ex..i mean...
Now, Id be able to heartlessly say...its a bunch of metal boxes. Yes CSI and criminal chases cud end up there...but till then...its a bunch of metal boxes...a giants toy set.

My sistas told me that I shud change myself..from being the sister I was to everybody..to being a...person...someon not related....coz obviously you wudnt wanna be in a relationship w your own sibling. But...I dont know...thats all I was before and I might see a need for change..but how? Stop being caring? Hahahha to me..its quite impossible...

Im also contemplating on keeping my indian music and sad songs for awhile hahahah Damn it! Seems like Im going through a break up all over again... But this time..no tears. Alot of people ask me to get over it...I can move on..but getting over requires a space filler..esp when the one that left, dug a HUGE hole. All I can say is if you've had a relationship that made you miss the person 1hr before you guys parted and 1 hr before you meet, you've an uncontrollable smile on your face? and you cant stop talking abt the person....then you have a BIG hole in you...and it gets bigger.

So I never wanted to be understood abt how I felt..no point...and I honestly believe that I wud keep this slight agony to myself.

As my sista says..I shud care less abt how others are..and care more abt myself....all I know is to care and I honestly think that I care more abt myself htan anybody...the perfect oxymoron.

But eventually..I know my God is here and he will show me the way soon....Nothing Is Impossible....if Simon Peter could walk on water at the request. I will be able to find the one Ive always been looking for..and this time..he stays.

God Bless

Christmas went off into the sunset...

Christmas Eve sucked because of the morning work...then I met up w Helmut and Lii Kai and Ee Wen before heading home.

Went to auntie Hing's place in the evening and we sang carols and had good food for dinner! Turkey, ham, mango salad etc....Cousin & I stayed in the room after that, to sing carols..Did that cause we were bored :/ But we sang and sang...

Not much presents this year coz no mood to buy....

Then Christmas morning was okay..slacked abit...then afternoon went to Madarin Gardens to celebrate Christmas with Maternal extended family. Eveyrone was there including cousins!

We got bored afterawhile and the cousins (al, me, bryan & my sis) went down to Marine Parade to walk. We forced Allan intot he changing room t try on new shirts and had loads of fun seeing the outcome. Of course the fun of it is seeing him pick out shirts that dont suit him and are 2 sizes too small. Wahahaha

Hanging w cousins and sis proved to be the highlight for this christmas...

I cant believe my relationship w my cousins and my sis can be this close. Love them loads!

God Bless

Allan & Bryan (Left to right)

Allan & I

Bryan & I

Its around this time that I also breathe in and exclaim in the loudest possible voice, " Why have they grown up sooo quickly!!!" Something about them and their carefree nature and ready smiles, makes me love htem even more. My cousins!

God Bless once again!

Christmas Bear!

Christmas Bear:

Hello to everyone who reads this blog! I am Ning's Christmas Bear! On behalf of Ning and her family and all us stuff toys in Ning's house, we wish you a very very Merry Christmas!!! Due to forseen but uncontrollable circumstances, we will not be giving anyone presents this year...Ning is broke...

However if you would still like to give Ning a present, do consider donating to the "Help Ning Get New Handphone Fund" All donations are very very much appreciated!

Disclaimer: None of the words above has been scripted by Ning herself...

God Bless!

How is ISC? Waddya Think?!?! They ROCK!

Forgot to add that at yesterday's christmas steamboat gathering, ISC made a new record of having 5 generations of presidents in one picture!! WOHOOO! Aung, Raj, Juwy, Alvin, Liting!!

AND we had a total of 7 generations in the restaurant! Aung's, Raj's, Juwy's, Alvin's, Liting's, Year 2's and Year1's! Im sooo damn proud of them!

I would dare say that in 2 years time, we'd have a 9 generation team of 60 ISC members in 1 place and we'd book the whole restaurant and celebrate!

We had gift exchange at the end and I got a present from 1 of my students, he wrapped the present with 2 layers of wrappers and the gift came in a box...specifically...campbell soup box...hmmmm Shud have taken a pic of it lah! But his actual present was a bracelet...nice native bracelet. :) I like. Thanks ah!

K enough for now...Im gearing up for lunch and family dinner tonight. Tomorrow is Christmas day! Will be back in the office on 26 Dec and that night will be our Sparc & Comperes gathering and I will end up seeing by bestest best bro. God help me w that!

God Bless