I cried

Wow its been awhile since I last cried like that....it hurt but Im fine now. God is with me all the way.

The long long dead relationship that I guess I tried to keep alive sooo much..is really now dead. No more disillusions...cause right fromt he horses mouth..I knew my fate...it really hurt but I finally felt the knife. :) And Im honestly smiling coz Im glad its really really really over!

I called my fren that night and honestly much as I wanted to talk...I didnt know what to say...as it is in my state...Ive gone past understanding..I dwelt int he hole too long for people to even save me. Of rather as some frens would say...they've thrown the rope for me to catch..it just depends on whether I wanted to hold it.

But Ive grabbed hold of the rope... I turn back to see the wreckage and sigh but I hold on for life because I dont have a choice anymore.

Pity for me..is to put in soo much for nothing. Pity I used to tell myself that the 1st is the last...pity...but who ever said life was fair huh....

Anyway...Im trying my best to go by God's book and live a life that He wants...cause if its the 1st as the last, God is my 1st and my last. Im not saying that nobody will come my way...more like..God always comes 1st. Praise Him in the tough trials and the best moments..because He is always there!

God Bless you all!