its half of june and its only my 2nd post

think this month is my record lowest of posts...even May was better! But then come to think of it...May was sooo bad that it made me blog more coz I needed to get stuff off my back. The worldy kind of peace I can find isnt yoga but more of blogging, writing songs, talking etc...so much for the peace that Jesus gives me....I know I havnt gotten the ability to master that kind of peace.

Last weekend was a break I hadnt had in weeks...or months...

Meeting w Makeup Artiste members, travelled to paya lebar to settle instrument payments for SP String Ensemble on saturday..walked from Paya Lebar MRT to Tajong Katong....a long walk but I walked anyway..part of 30mins a day exercise? Hehehe

Sun, went to church (that was the most peaceful time) walked around abit...went to Mandarin Gardens to drop by at Granny's place and say Hi....then walked to East Coast to meet up w Musical friends. Bladed abit with rented roller blades and once again fell. Hit my knees.
Now my left knee has a blue black teh size of a 50cent while my right knee had a nail size wound and an mp3 player size blue black surrounding it. Looks like I got nailed in the knee instead of in the palms (ala Jesus)

Mon - Fri, torturous...
Im soo tempted to take cab every morning coz thinking of taking the train to work and standing through the entire 45mins with a knee that wont stop bleeding...was very motivating...
the problems Ive been having with the Myanmar festival...always brought my days to a tiring end...every morning i started teh day with dread and a list of things to do..every day I ask myself why Im working there..every day I answer myself : my students

Mon morning itself, I went to see hte doc..my knee had bleed the entire night and I was abit worried. the added stress on it while going up and downt he stairs didnt help to stop the bleeding. Then knowing Ying Ying was in town (my niece from HK), I had to meet them int he evening for dinner. Decided to stay overnight at Gugus place because I wanted to spend time with them. Took MC the next day for leg and for relatives reason...

Wed - Fri, had to bank in China money, had to bank in Moberly money, had to help David Lee with his clubs, had to do writeup for Lunch Show@ moberly, had to gof ro Compere & SPARC camp dinner, had to settle admin thigns w SPARC & Comperes...etc etc etc

Fri evening, Kung Fu Panda movie with ISC...

I feel guilty for the clubs under me that dont get my attention...Bagpipers, Jazz Band, Makeup Artiste..SPSE...
Been wondering whether me having so many clubs is a good thing..if its not and the clubs suffer, Id rather give them up so I can focus on some...

I am thankful that slowly but surely, the clubs are starting to climb on their feet again. SPARC, Comperes, SP MAC, ISC....
I feel sooo bad...I wanna promise to do better but I dont know how long I can take it....been looking at the papers more....I hope my clubs are able to be independant soon...

Jesus..thank you for being by my side all these days..I felt like I was int eh valley of the shadow of death.....yet I know you are with me...Thank you Lord for always reminding me that you are there..that while I worry abt various things..other things dont go wrong...
You are my witness Lord...when I cant take it and am seconds to throwing int eh towel...you are the one who know how much stress Im in....I know that you feel my strain on my back when I slouch fromt he strain of the problems....I know you feel my hotness in my eyes when Im close to break into tears...I know you feel my despair when my ideas amount to a dead end...
You are Lord of Lords!

As for my students...and friends and family who seldom see me anymore....I know I havnt been a good friend...in fact Ive become a non-existent one. Somehow I know that if I dont get over this...and improve my situation...the time will come when something will happen and I will truly taste "too late".

God Bless