Tuesday, May 12, 2015

The child in me...

Felt the need to be a kid at some point today. Some times its tiring to seem like you are in control or that you are mature all he time.. always thinking about all aspects of each matter.

Sometimes I just dont want to care about anything for a day...curl up in a chair and sip on milo, fall asleep in it, whine abit and have someone go " awww there there"

Am I the only weird one? Do we all at some point feel the need to be childish, to say silly things?

Or do we all do so well at being mature that it never occurred for us to just let it go?

In fact, I felt guilty feeling the need to be silly to a select few people whom I can trust to be silly to..

There are truly only a select few whom I feel I can bare my soul to..although I guess Im constantly worried about being judged and being viewed as weak and emotional.
I dont need to be judged or assessed. I just need to be loved, to be heard , and to be understood.

There are a bunch of people whom I can't bring myself to appear weak...

I guess Im really just waiting for the person, the One..to come, make me laugh make me feel that its okay to be myself in front of him. Like..really be myself. It's emotional, crazy, nonsensical, chatty, quiet, cuddly, nonchalant person..
To appreciate my contradictions without feeling the need to ask why until I take too long to tell him.
Someone who will sit by me, ask me how I am and wait patiently for me to conjure up the right words to say it...

God Bless

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