Monday, February 08, 2016

Nothing like the beach

So recently I went with the kids to ECP. Whilst it was very fun for all of us, I still felt the need to be alone once in awhile. To face the beach...hear the waves..just be able to think...
Something about those waves makes it such much calming for me to think...
I wasn't upset..I wasn't pissed or angry, I just needed to have my own space to..emo..I guess?
All this confused feelings and mind vs heart thing that has been happening recently needed to be cleared.
I guess after that session at the beach, I knew what I had to do...
Much as I love the company of this person and much as this person really does make me laugh..and occasionally, he does show concern, I know that I can't let him in anymore than i have. Not until I've gotten over him... Maybe just like Pravin, I will still love him forever...but thats about it...
It took me such a long time to even call him a brother and to do anything more now, might be to lose him as a friend, and a brother..and I dont want to risk that...
This man/boy I respect too much and love too much to lose..

God Bless

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