not yet

Its been about 2 weeks..I'm sorta glad that I've made it this far.
But the more I communicate with him now, the more distant I feel..feels like I've lost someone dear...
Feels like I'm slowly closing the door...
A bit of me feels abit sad... I actually stop myself from thinking of the times that we were pretty close, because it gets me caught in a web of confusion.
That and I cant respond to him in the way I do with other brothers...so I feel the need to step back and adapt to not seeing him often...in this case, distance will cure a cracking heart. I hope.
I want to get to the point of seeing him and interpreting his actions as that of a brother...instead of thinking that maybe he might like me back.
I want to get to the point where I'm fine not seeing him or catching up with him often because its how it is with my other brothers...

But I cant do it now... I cant love him as a brother yet...