I know ur gonna laugh at me but u need to know Im only human.

My previous entry  was on multi-racial stuff and i think i did that less than 2 days ago....funny thing is...it happened again today.

Served in choir for the entire afternoon till evening and while walking back to cityhall mrt, I felt like walking from the outdoor route. Also coz the sunset was nice and I hadnt had a chance to gaze at the sky and really appreciate it..for a long time. Which led me to wonder if I was getting too adult...so bogged  down by things that dont matter...and neglect the things that do.

So as i walked by the war memorial, I thought abt how the lights arnd it were meant to shine on it and ....keep it visible in our sight..reminding us abt how things wud nt be this way if not for the war etc...then I saw many couples sitting around that area..private moments of course..and how ironic it is to have a memorial smack in town..with couples sitting around it..lovey dovey...guess our memorial isnt just a memorial for war..but for other things. And pple go there for purposes other than to pay respects and reminisce on our spore history (said in a noble fashion)

So anyway...was thinking of someone recently....sucks because I know things wont happen..and Im sorta scared of meeting this person again coz it sucks me into the void that ive tried sooo hard to get out of for the past few years. So I had my heart set on forgetting my liking to this person before it turns into something uncontrollable and huge.

Loh and behold...as I walked by macdonald's..from a distance I saw 2 familar faces. loh and behold...1 of them was him. SHIT! I didnt run...but I brisk walked hahahahah. I wasnt petrified..I was just shocked at how a mere spur of hte moment decision to walk via the outdoor route to the mrt....would led me to find what I didnt want myself to see. hahaha I got to braddell b4 I smsed the guy that I saw them.

So i know you're laughing babe. And it doesnt come easy saying all this on the blog but Im human just like u. Seems we both have the same symptoms. :)

So my stand on this is....I know how my heart works and I know very well that not all feelings are dependable. spoken w experience to back it up. I'm capable of putting my feeligns in place and not going overboard by taking things lightly and thats what I'll do. :)

Besides if I went w my feelings..half my friends wudnt be my friends coz I like them too. Acordance w the definition of "like" that teens nowadays use. I know which lines to step and which not to.

Why I say all this? Coz while I need to download onto something...I also dnt know if whoever i mentioned is gonna be sticking his nose into my blog. If so...I definitely dnt wanna make akward feelings and I dont like to lose friends. :)

So bro, Im cool hahaha!

Todays service was good. :) I feel blessed and enriched by it! Feel like this week will be a gd week. :)

God bless!

multi-racial stuff again

Had a chat w 1 of my students abt inter racial relationships and etc.

Funny thing is the previous sunday, I found it very very odd that I wud see so many inter-racial couples in a day. Maybe its me but I cud have sworn that i really wasnt looking out for them. Not anymore at least.

So we talked and she wanted to do organize blind dates for me lah. Over my dead body!!

Hahahha Ive come to a point where Im really gonna commit this to God. Yah of course it doesnt mean that I dont make new friends or go out etc and just wait for a guy to swing by my window. It means no matter how I feel towards people, Im gonna let nature take its own course and see what God will show me.

Im not gonna fight for a person..not gonna go out of my way to see a person no matter how my heart can flutter because even the heart can be foolish. Of course Ive established the fact that the bigger reason why Id feel for anyone is most probably because of the lack of love to start with. Like they say, its harder to quit when you;ve already tasted what something is like.

Ya some may say its a foolish thing to do..but I know my God is bringing him in anytime soon.

And besides I know Im blessed w other things like my Bros and sistas. Ian, stephen, franceen, deb, james, peiyan, yq, etc

I took a bit of time to see the pics I had in my office and it made me smile. Esp the one w Cal, neetz, pravin and darren. :) How young we were then. How much fun we had as a team! And how close my bbbro and I were. :) Im blessed to have these friendships. or had..for some cases.

And all my performances at ucc, esplanade, auditorium, convention centre.... :) truly God has been good.

And so back to multi-racial, yes alot have said that I look like the type that'll have a non chinese bf haiz..and I'll say that Ive been there and done that..and while it was good, ti didnt last. Not that Id refuse if it came again...but this time..it has to be w God's approval.

How do I know? His religion.

No offence to all I know who of another religion. :) You know I still love you too. You are my bros and sistas..but "the one" has a higher criteria to fill. hahaha

K done. Gonna be heading to Chinatown now..take pics. walk...
Then ISC's ADD is on tonight. Its gonna be an awesome time!

God Bless!

"The time has come," the walrus said,"to talk of many things"

Had ISC AGM last week...

Was looking at the pictures of all my graduating bunch and somehow...the graduating bunch..no matter which club they are from...always seem like they've grown up sooo much!

It really doesnt matter how much you've done for the club. Its just got to do with whether you're heart was in the club.

Im proud of them for having gone through their 3 yrs. Im proud of them for having done so much for the club.
Im rpoud of them for having lead their juniors till now.

Im proud of them for who they are.

I see so much confidence in their eyes..in their walk...in their body language..the way they speak...

And because of all this..Im proud of them.

Maybe this is a only abit of how a mother would feel when they suddenly realize how much their children have grown..Im not claiming to be their mother k..more like a big sister. :) When ur eyes suddenly open up and you see in front of you...the same bunch of pple..yet they are so different from when you 1st saw them.

Thanks for the memories guys. My little bros & sisters.

When youve graduated...then shall we talk of other things..aside from just ISC... :)

Time to be creative and expand my boundaries

Been in a creative mood these days...need an outlet to express my thoughts.

Met up w Peili (student/friend) had dinner, talked abt the weirdest things..cant imagine myself actually telling her wat Ive told her.

Anyway...Ive a growing feeling that its time I really put God's blessings to use. Time to start my songwriting again...time to put the words and tunes to real life...

Also went to watch Jimmy's SMU musical, Just So last sat. Apparently, a friend I got to know when I auditioned for Spore Idol looonnnggg ago....was 1 of the actors in it.

Cant wait for another chance to perform really...Id take anything right now!

Also cant wait when Peili sets up her fitness business and I'll train with her. :P YEAH!!!

Also plan to save up for Israel! And US!!!

Random I know but needed to voice out. :)

Ning

Giving God his praise...

Today's midweek service was really good. :) It said that God doesnt do plan Bs. everything that happens..devil induced or human induced...its all part of his plan. He doesnt shortchange us from our destiny just coz Satan made us do something bad or we did something wrong. :)

Anyway...I was serving today for choir and the more i served the more I felt impressed to express my thanks to God. Esp after all that has happened this year itself.

I had a chance to sing w my students, I had a chance to do a solo at esplanade!

I can only credit this to God for his provision and his strength and blessing to do it well too. All my performing opportunities have been given by God because without Him, no one would rememebr me to start with! I wouldnt have this voice to start with.

So many things! Good or bad, have worked out to be good for me. After today's sermon...Im more convinced! Think about it...flunking A Levels, coming to Poly....truly is the best thing that has happened to me. It was the start of many dreams fulfilled! Including doing the musical etc

So I truly believe God deserves the praise. He is soo wise and if you just take time to call His name and speak out what u really feel...at the end of the day...there is a peace that passeth understanding..

In fact...Im quite surprised that I was quite calm during the event. Esp teh singing bit. Normally Id be shivering all over! Even during Open House when I sang, I was shaking all over and I was mentally & physically drained! common sense would say that Id be half cold out since its esplanade and Im doing a solo of Andrew lloyd Webbers pieces! But God helped me.

In fact, I was blessed to have a co-host who was new but crazy and funny and that helped too. It was amazing how we could talk during the lunch porridge buffet. ahahah and of all topics..religion. What a weird casual conversation...

I know its God who has provided so many wonderful opportunities for me and made them come my way...

Today as i served..I had the warmth in my heart and the grtitude for all He has given to us. id tell you more stories abt how I wudnt be here if not for Him...esp when I was so young I wasnt even clear who God was then...yet He looked out for me.

I know I am God's beloved..and I believe that everyone who believes in Him is His child.

God Bless!