You obviously dont know this but I do like you & miss you. That actually irritates me because I know I cant have these feelings..not for you at least. We are from 2 very different mentalities and backgrounds.
In fact I am almost certain that my feelings are 1-sided.Your openess and opinions have already shown me how impossible it is for anything between us to happen.  
Yet...I do miss you. Miss working with you, miss crapping w u, miss ignoring your silly approaches etc
I admire your sense of humour although it gets irritating at times...yet in the midst of that humour, I sense maturity...I sense a tender heart...I sense a feeling of security while being w u...
While that security gets shattered quickly at times..some other times..it lingers alittle longer.

Evidently Im over my head on this and once again, I know very well that no thing could amount to any thing. And thats why I will only see our relationship as friends.friends that are close and chatty on contact..but almost out of contact when we dont bump into each other.

I can only hope that I would be ale to find someone with the same humour and maturity..minus the reckless flowery words

God Bless

Sister sister sister

K so its one of those times where the emo-ning appears hahaha

Much is happening recently and 1 way or another, I feel the pinch.

Got an audition on 19 oct for a BA in Production in Uni Melbourne. If I get in, I'll fly over to Melbourne to study for 3 years. If I dont, I stay here as per normal. :/
Another one on 12Nov...God's gonna have to help me for both.

Thinking of this further studying business and preparing for it is giving me added stress. I also wonder how my clubs would do without me. Of course they will have someoneelse to be in charge of htem...but I will miss them. That is 1 part of life I cant take back...Also my family and friends..will miss them very much.

One of my dearest bros is now in UK. Just started his studies and Im glad he's got it all settled down. Thank God for skype, msn...technology in general..Yes do miss the times that the bunch o us "siblings" would hangout for supper, for live music etc. :) Yes of all the brothers, the one that had to further study was the most talkative one...now everything is quieter.

Ive come to give thanks to God about me having so many siblings. :) Yap given that some are closer to me than others..but its so different having them as friends than siblings. Because they are siblings, I have an added need to shower them with more care and attention. :) I guess its the result of being the youngest child in a not so functional family. :D I know that in turn, my siblings have helped me in countless things and I love them even more for it. U can equate this role to Jesus's role. He came to redeemt he lives of those who were meant to be Children of God.
Thats also why Im thankful to Jesus, coz he's my big brother.

Anyway this sister issue has been a blessing and curse to me. :) I recall a sister of mine who said that Im sooo much a sister that everybodyelse really just sees me as that. A sister! Hahahah Which is true isnt it. Those nuns who call themselves sisters will alwas have everyone call them sister ______ . always a sister and nothing else, nothing more. :)
No Im not complaining. I love my bros and sisters :) I hold true to my faith in God that somewhere out there is someone who would see me differently :) I will hold on to His promise! :) Dont know when he'll come but nonetheless...

Anyway showed my colleague my song. The same one that won a song competition. He said its a nice song! :) And when I showed it to 2 of my bros, they seemed to like it. :D Its a good feeling. :) Im itching to record it properly. SERIOUSLY! No matter whether I send it out, whether its sung,,I wanna see it come to life..to become a proper song! :)

I guess the reason why I havnt done it earlier was because I didnt know if the song was good and whether I would bear to give it away to grow. Afterall, it is a very personal song... Plus, I dont want to get people who dont want to, to help it. Its a personal project and I dont wanna trouble others..especially if htey dont want to do so.

Got my ears stuck on One Republic...I love their acoustic set. :) Yes One Republic is climbing up the Ning's Top 50 artistee list!

Lastly, for hte record..not like my sis would ever read this blog,

Happy Birthday! I know Ive wished u before (in fact I was the 1st) but heres a short para for you.
Thanks for being the real sister in my life. I don't think id get by well in this family without your sanity and your insanity..all of which at the right time.

Yes you can be irritating and spoilt but I think I have something to do with you being that too. Despite me being younger, I do still end up spoiling you.

Thanks for coming before me. Because Ive learnt many things from watching you and your elder-ness is in a way my security. :)

There are pockets of memories of us that I treasure the most and thinking back on it, these memories dont seem like much on its own..but somehow..the memories hit a deep chord within and I cant not recall them without feeling loved..even if its as simple as you letting me sit in the same room to listen to u play the piano. Weird how the heart works. :)

Im too old to draw pony cards so I hope the Vienetta worked hahaha


God Bless!

Sooooo needed to do this! Best lame vids this week!!!

I cant help but laugh at the following vids and Im sure some of it are beyond other people's humour threshhold hahahah proceed with precaution hahaha

1)  Charlie The Unicorn #3
2) Giraffe in Quicksand
3) Never say no to panda

Back with more vids next time!

God Bless!

Sunday

@Jas: babe if i keep smacking my forehead because of you, u'll know ur special :)

Went to church w mum today :) Pastor's sermon was exceptionally good! Reminds me of when Jesus resurrected and expounded ont eh bible from over to cover, to peter and anoter apostle onte h road to Emaeus. :) It was sooo good that my mum actually wanted tog et a copy! :D Excellent!
Im praying that should I leave Singapore, that my mum would continue to go to church.

Had some time at Parkway with Bryan. :) my youngest cousin. :) Cant believe that he will be heading into the army in november...absolutely gonna miss him!

Was watching tv with grandpa and eveyrtime I look at him, I feel the tenderness towards him. He is my one adn only grandpa but even then, my favourite grandpa. :) I lveo him to bits! And at times, Im worried that even he would pass away. I claim in Jesus name of his long life! I claim that he will know Christ! It is never too late! :/

Saw my nephew and niece. How fast they grow. Ally & Max. :) Cant help but to grab them, give them hugs & kisses. Wonders! Esp Ally...very very very smart! And for Jillian...Im proud of her being such a good mother! It somehow came naturally even though I know it wasnt easy for her. :) Good job Jill! :)

Life is flying by too fast. :/ But Im sooo glad I have all I have. :) Thanks God!

Bless everything I have Lord! Let the blessings you promise for me, overflow towards those that I love and who love me. :)

God bless!

Things to do...

- Reread The History Boys
- Get new POSB account for savings
- Get another account for parents
- Continue to pack room
- activate ibanking accnt
- settle phone bill
- etc

The more I think of these..the more tired I feel....but i has to be done...
Sad to say..its also makng me the age that I am. :/
I know..I am very belated in financial management, life management etc...I have so many younger friends who can deal with their life better than me. Its quite shameful.
Been thinking more about my life and I know I really need to make thigsn work.

Btw..was at he career fair today, sat through a career seminar and hte presenter was very good! very interesting, very fluent and eloquent..but the projector was so low that every time he stood in front of the projection, his words and images were projected on him instead. And they were so low that his words were projected below his torso....yeah u get what i mean... geez. Poor dude. He got everythign padded down except for this hahahha

God Bless

This Saturday is the start

So we sent Ian off at the airport. None of us teared for him although we sorta feel the absence. As we would joke, he is the noisiest.
As we walked back to the carpark, I wondered whether I would be reduced to tears if I would leave Singapore for further studies. Maybe..most probably. That would suck...

Been reading "The History Boys" because thats the book I might have to use for my audition..

Un-nerving...scary...but inevitably...time to move on...

God Bless

Childrens Day, Stephen's Bdae, Day before Ian goes off

Today is truly a very special day. We start with it being children's day, then the day that Stephen was born and also the day before Ian leaves for UK. So much meaning in 1 day.

Speaking of Children's day, whoever said that Children's day was only meant for kids? Take Mother's Day for example, it's meant for every mother out there. Which often includes Grandmothers right. Because Grandmothers are mothers in our mum's eyes.
Yet for Children's day, it seems that only the kids get it. I guess the word "children" in Children's Day is used more as a collective term for young people who are in primary school and below; as opposed to people who are sons and daughters of others. Because in my grandmother's eyes, my mum is still her daughter, IE: her child.
SOOOooo I firmly believe that Children's day is meant for young and old who are still children of others older.

That said, it also means that Grandparents day is just an extra day aside from Father's Day & Mother's Day for the older generation to feel appreciated..afterall, them being hte oldest generation alive, can't really celebrate Children's Day can they.

After all that consideration...I sorta made a decision to enforce the better meaning of Children's Day to my next generation. Should I have 1 of course. :)

Heres another birthday wish to Stephen, my much loved, much blessed brother. A shy but very smart guy who is mostly into his tv shows, games and puzzles but when he talks, he always makes people laugh. I mean it in a good way. :D
He's awfully quiet but inside him is alot of love and wisdom! :)
Happy Birthday bro!!! Many more memories in years to come! Love you loads. Thanks for all the love a brother can give.

Another brother of mine who's leaving Spore tomorrow, incidentally a twin of Stephen and also a much loved and much blessed bro of mine, Ian. I never fail to be amazed at how all 3 of us could haphazardly meet and become friends and siblings.
Ian is the noisiest of us all. Incredibly smart (like stephen), abit too vocal for his good, but tries to get away with it like how Puss In Boots would in Shrek.

He & Stephen are the closest of brothers and I must admit that its enduring to see both of them that united. They're practically psychic lah! They make the best team!
I must say that while I dont get to hang out with them much, nor do I express my worries about them...I am proud of them. Not just of what they've accomplished individually, but just proud of them for the people they are. Their character, their bond with each other...yeah just them. Just proud of them :)

Anyway, Ian's going off tomorrow and maybe its that and stephen's birthday and my pending further studies that causes me to think about my bunch of bros & sistas. (Francine included) that makes me more sentimental? hahahaha Im giving thanks to God for them k. And I know i wanna do this coz I was born with a very foul mouth (minus the vulgarities). I speak too many negativity that I dont even know how to compliment at times. Its bad when we cant even say good things to those you care about to compliment & encourage them.

So there!

Times like these that i know how fortunate I am. No matter how people can blame their origin, their parents, their grandparents etc...one thing they can always do to even teh odds, is to open their eyes to the blessings they have around them in the present times. :)

God Bless!