1st ASM duty...terrifying

So just finished an event nad my duty was ASMing. It is truly terrifying. I really did dread it and I really did feel like I failed. I felt like my classmates judge me as well. And all that in my head. I know its not safe to think that all that "behind my back" jibber jabber was going on but letting it get to me would put me back int eh pits of depression really soon and to survive this course, I have to stay afloat..above depression. I guess my only solution is to believe that God will keep me in favour...no matter what others say.

Anyway updates on life. Just fixed up my table and chair. On my own yah. Its ane asy DIY but I take pride in it. Rushing Prompt Copy and Arts & Ideas assignment today nad I feel like I can make it :) Not my favourite state to be in but I know God has given me enough strength to power through this week and next and next next.

Since coming back from Singapore. I have learnt a few things about being an intl student. And reason why Im writing this down..is because I know that someday Im gonna need to reflect on this for my own intl students...
1) you will still feel sad, cry on your 2nd, 3rd time leaving home.
2) When u come back to where u study...it is an awesome feeling to have someone to welcome u back and help you to acclaimatize to your study life again. Esp if u are just moving back into an unfamiliar house
3) It is very worthwhile and reassuring to have housemates that you can click with because aside from homework, they will be ur 1st source of encouragement and entertainment and company
4) No matter how long u've been there, you always need to be the 1st to make a move and make friends especially if ur very different from the locals
5) Never let ur mindset that locals treat foreigners differently, hinder ur objectiveness and approachability to them. Also never let that mindset affect how u view the locals daily response to u.

k gonna have lunch now.

God Bless!

He is AWESOME!!!

So this entry is a tribute to God. :)

Been feeling down these few days. yes I had a wonderful time in Singapore nd it was a recharge..but I didnt get much work done. So now is crunch time. I do hate myself for not doing work while I could but it was a tempation that won.

Anyway this lingering sadness sorta grew because I was quite alone in Sydney. But as already mentioned..my exhousemates did make my life better. God bless them! :)

What I really wanted to say was at the saddest and most stressful time today, my sista msged me with awesome news that Lee Foundation gave her a grant to study. not only that...the amount of money means her dad will have enough money for her younger sister to go for her exchange programmes.
Awesome news! God has provided for her and her family to not worry about money issues.

I feel happy for her and I feel how much God loves her. :) He is truly an awesome God. Only issue is that people even christians misunderstand Him.

And after chatting with her and thinking about my own situation. About how God even provided for me. Giving me this fabulous chance to study here. I say "Amen" to that too.

At the most stressful moment now...Im gonna work in confidence that He will get me through to meet my deadlines and go well even! Nothing works with only my strength. His power adn strength in my life will make things work out smoother.

I am now encouraged! :)

All Praises go to God! My Father, My Brother and My Holy Spirit! If He has put me here in Sydney, it will not be just for my benefit, for my success...but also to be the little candle for Him. to show the world in everything I do, that He is a GOOD GOOD GOOD God!

God Bless!!!

Thank God for friends

Its been 3 days since Im back... Am in school doing assignments now... sianz..

Have been quite down these few days because I sorta feel alone in Sydney. Which is odd because I didn't feel this the 1st 5 months. Even when my mum left... But this time..I really felt quite alone...

Updating on my flight.
My flight from singapore Brunei was meant to be at 1155am but the moment I got the the waiting lounge, it rained heavily...as if Singapore was crying for me. I couldnt bring myself to call my grandpa because he's the one I dont bear to leave the most...

The rain caused my flight to delay for 1 hour. Reached Brunei an hour late and had to wait a long while to enquire about leaving the airport. I got out and managed to meet Liyi and FangLing and the little Zion. What a blessed family! I can't put in words how much I adore them as a family and how much blessings I see in their lives and in Liyi's life.
Had Ayam Penyet with them and went off to the airport. Waited for 2 hours to board my flight..only to have hte flight delayed for another hour. Due to technical issues....

So the Brunei light flew at 11pm. I thought I had a good seat this time but the flight stewardess came and asked if I and the guy next to me could swop seats with another lady who needed that extra accessibility. The guy wasnt very reluctant to reply but when he heard that the other seat was along the aisle, he immediately requested for that. What a GENTLEMEN! I ended up getting the middle seat on the middle aisle... Oh well. I can deal with it...

I obviously didnt get a very good sleep but its okay. :) The 2 ladies who swopped with us were very grateful for the swop and we chatted awhile. :) I felt good.

I did my baggage claim and goods declaration as fast as I could. In fact the declaration line was amazingly short and best thing was I didnt even need to open my luggage for checking. BUT..despite all that smooth procedure, I still missed my flight. So the next flight came 1hr 45mins. Besides that, it was also 30mins delayed. So instead of returning at 11.30am sydney time, I returned at 1.05pm.

Really tired..took a cab to my new home. Honestly, in a place where I had no family and long time friends, I felt lonely and I was so glad that I had Sonal, Karthika and Samantha to call and hang around with.

I must say that after having such an awesome time in Singapore, Sydney was absolutely boring...

So back to today...still feeling abit of the pinch...have been camping at Sonal's place for 2 nights. And if I let myself, I'd end up camping at her place forever. I really wouldnt know if I would have been able to handle these first few days without her.

I think once I get to saturday where I ge the time to do up my room, Id feel better.

K gonna go do my work again.

God Bless

Back in Sydney

So i just got back from Singapore. Shall spare u the details of my flight for now. This entry is pretty much for me to vent my feelings.

I am missing family and friends now.

Now I understand what it feels to still feel sad and teary on the 2nd and consecative times u leave home. Makes me almost wish I didnt go back these 2 weeks because it would have saved me that feeling.

Its weird that I felt like I had never left Singapore...eveyrthing was still so familiar that I had never lost touch of anything.

I was so excited to see family and friends and triewd to camp all my gatherings intot eh 2 weeks as possible but to my dissappointment. I dont even think I could ever be able to do that! Theres just too many!

But Im glad I managed to meet alot of my clubs, my dear students, my Fambily, my family and extended relatives..and especially my grandfather. Broke my heart to see his condition. I pray that his healing will speed up and that the condition would never occur again!

After crossing the "half way through holiday" mark, I started feeling down...

In fact I can say that I was possibly handling it worse than when I first went. Maybe coz I now know whats in store. Not that I dont wanna be in NIDA. But that I know what hardwork I would have to put in. meeting expectations of others and mine.

Okay..gonna go. Need to settle much today. starting with bed. Shall blog on my holiday anf light back the next time :)

God Bless!

Last Day before leaving for Singapore

I guess you could count this as a reflection for the past half year. or 5 months to be exact. I think I did good. I think I survived well and Im proud of myself.
Just moved my stuff into my new house and its alot cheaper than what im paying now. However, Il need to get my own furniture. Thank God for Vanessa who is giving me her bed frame. Thank God for my classamtes who offer soo much to me. I do feel very privileged :)Cant wait to meet family and friends again :)The past few weeks have been tiring. its a good tired though. got my prompt copy assignment back and i did well. production was an experience that was so fruitful that even negativity of any kind was counted as good.I know i havnt been the smartest and fastest one on the block but I did try.On the closing day, we have a tradition to give presents to each other and I got a very nice present from my Lx Head and Lx designer. It made me feel like I had done well as a Lx Asst and I really do hope so.I know ive learnt the ins and outs of how to go about getting stuff. about different lights. Gel colours, how to patch up the dimmers. Do followspotting, focus lamps, fire retard curtains, operate the ULs, use the harness on the grid etc.
An equally important thing Ive learnt is not to let my emotions get the better of my work. Not that im emotional. Just overly concerned with how others view me. That isnt how God wants me to work and I know I shouldnt be that way.
This is truly my first production and throughout whatever trials, I still did enjoy it :)
Cant wait to hit Singapore tomorrow evening :)
God Bless