...

Here I am thinking that I dont care..or shouldn't care..and then I see a photo and i do... ahaha great!

Ive been asking myself this question for a long time... Why him...

And Ive lost track of why...

All I know is that emotions are steering me towards and not away...

I almost wanna just immerse myself with ideas that he's attached, just so I can finally put to rest these feelings. Coz they hurt...

Im (at this very moment) appalled by the human that I've become. obsessive...jealous... emotional...
To think that such a person would make me feel all this...
Sorta makes me hate myself for being so weak....

I just wanna tell him "go. go away... dnt come back.. lets just not be friends anymore" Coz its really just a lot easier... Yet none of this is his fault...its me...

Every time I get to this stage..I feel the need to cry... like once again Ive lost a brother, a good friend... and it hurts..

Time will come when I have to do that...

God Bless