when december ends

maybe..just maybe by then, I would have a clearer picture of what direction I want to take... this year has been too messy for me...

I lost track of me, lost track of what makes me happy, lost track of who my friends should be, and who I should be focusing on... I lost it..

It really shouldn't be that bad but it is..and maybe by end of december, I would know what needs to be done..and pluck up the courage to put things right...

In that process, Im losing a friend again..in fact..maybe a few friends..

One of them i would cry over... but its almost like how i lost my ex... my innards were shifted around..and the dam of courage that pulled me through, would break and the flood will flow through..and hopefully after all that crying, Id be fine and ready to carry on...

God Bless