Time to get myself back again...

Ive been saying this for the past few months and I still have not figured it out...

Like the last time, it took me years to get back on my feet... this time..Im not sure anymore... but what i know is that for me to keep my sanity and focus, I have to let go and continue to build myself...

I can't keep thinking of him anymore...

I guess the best part about this entire experience is that we talk more now...we know how each other feels now... we are surprisingly still close and I dont know if I should love it that way...
I guess one day we will know but I can't bring myself to hold hopes..because from experiences, it only makes me sink back into the problem..

So all i can do, is go back to being myself... the best of me...

Was thinking abut it yesterday...about who I am... still haven't found an accurate description...

Who exactly am I?

Im not exceptionally kind or smart or funny...I dont have a lot of heart. The same evilness in an average human, is the same in me. Im not exceptionally focused, Im a scatterbrain...I like a lot of things but Im not skilled in any.... I'm average...

Then i realised what I needed to do... its not finding who I am..but who I can be... so who can I be and what do i need to get there?

I want to be....
- good enough to emcee and external dinner and dance well
- able to play the guitar/ukulele and sing
- be able to do sound, lighting and stage manage
- get fitter... swim/cycle/rollerblade more...

maybe 1 day i will be able to do up my own videos/covers.. maybe..

God Bless