So the past week has been a wonderful one.
Spent almost he entire week doing sound. Including putting put up the entire sound system that includes 3 mixers, Roland V-mixer, Yamaha LS9, Spirit M8 and a small Behringer for video recording. 17 live mics in the venue, loads of feedback and loads of sound effects aka Folly.
Loved the week! Loved the production. It was frustrating at times, especially when we get feedback... but I loved solving sound related questions..eg:
Qn:How is it the microphone picks up the sound of people stepping not he rostra when its not even pointed at it? And: The mic was stuck tot eh rostra with tap and hence any form of vibration from the rostra was directly sent to the mic.
Ans: How come the 2nd mic, couldn't pick up the same sound as the 1st mic when all levels are the same, the 1st mic had a wider scope of pick up as opposed to the shotgun mic...
etc...its not rocket science but having been able to realise the answer myself, was truly satisfying!
I wished Wandi, Ian and Stephen could be there for my event. although I don't know if I could perform to the best of the show...but it would have been wonderful for them to see what I have done.
But putting it there, I wasn't the only one who worked on it. Ron and Jed were there to guide Aaron and I. Im thankful they were there to guide us and it was wonderful asking them questions and learning tricks of the trade. Also not to mention Felix who showed me the enthusiasm in sound. The many 1 minute lessons I learnt from him was good. e.g.: DI boxes from laptop to mixer, grounding pin, cooling cables etc.. And explaining to me the terminologies etc
I really really hope that I will get to do more and more sound stuff... Time is limited!
God Bless
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Sunday..last day of a packed but eventful week
Been struggling with Mutlimedia and my own internal battles. Paranoia, lack of self esteem, etc....its driving me down again if I dont get my act together. And by getting my act together, I need God's help.
Sound track has been good. stressful and demanding but good. Im thankful that I have been able to set upt he system, patch them I guess? and setup all the mics etc...but when ti doesnt work, it gets me down.... and it did...
And I felt like everyone was doubting my capabilities...even me... But where I felt like I had done something well, it didnt work as well as I wanted and that was painful..
But Im glad I have classmates and friends whom are there for me..who talk to me and love me...
End this week with sound crew work at Bondi Pavilion for the Jewish Music Festival. It was a good starter...had fun with the crew. Thanks God!
Next week will be tough but Im gonna hang in there!
God Bless!
Sound track has been good. stressful and demanding but good. Im thankful that I have been able to set upt he system, patch them I guess? and setup all the mics etc...but when ti doesnt work, it gets me down.... and it did...
And I felt like everyone was doubting my capabilities...even me... But where I felt like I had done something well, it didnt work as well as I wanted and that was painful..
But Im glad I have classmates and friends whom are there for me..who talk to me and love me...
End this week with sound crew work at Bondi Pavilion for the Jewish Music Festival. It was a good starter...had fun with the crew. Thanks God!
Next week will be tough but Im gonna hang in there!
God Bless!
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
What do i wanna do with my life?
A friend asked me this question today... dont know what to reply except for what I like to do...
1) sing
2) play with a sound system
3) songwrite??
4) dance (though I cant dance)
5) listen to music
Nothing in there is a lucrative fulltimejob hahahaha not that I know...
Anyway felt good about setting up the sound system today. Felt I could have done better... Sorry to my classmates...
Anyway..no comments on anythingelse. Life is a chore these few weeks... :(
God Bless
1) sing
2) play with a sound system
3) songwrite??
4) dance (though I cant dance)
5) listen to music
Nothing in there is a lucrative fulltimejob hahahaha not that I know...
Anyway felt good about setting up the sound system today. Felt I could have done better... Sorry to my classmates...
Anyway..no comments on anythingelse. Life is a chore these few weeks... :(
God Bless
Sunday, March 18, 2012
To my dear Soni...
Like I said, we are sooo similar in character that it amazes me every time.
You are truly like my twin from India. Because of you, India is a closer place in my heart.
As for what you are facing now, I can't say that I understand exactly how you feel but I can understand how nasty it is. How it makes you want to cry till your heart is emptied and your lungs are emptied..then inhale and want to empty your lung and tears all over again.
I understand how many days would be spent conjuring up courage and strength in the day...and then curling up in tears at night...
I understand how hearing a song could make your heart skip a beat and sink with sadness
I understand that going to places that you and him had memories could conjure up sad memories
I understand that the mere mention of his name could bring you down fr the rest of the day..
I understand that you miss him a lot especially when you need someone to talk to but the only one you wanna speak to is him...
I understand all that...and remember that that is normal for someone who has gotten out of such a strong relationship.
Remember that it takes time to heal. Sometimes it takes years... It doesn't mean you're weak. It means that the relationship meant a lot to you.
Remember that through your process of recovery, there will be days that you feel powerless and slip back to depression. Its normal. Its like a whirlpool where you fight and fight hour by hour to keep strong but just when you feel that you're safe and you can rest, you get pulled in again. BUT you will never be as deep in as the first time and your dips will always be easier to handle than the previous. Because every dip makes you stronger. In due time you will realise that he time for you to recover from a dip is lesser. from 2 days to 1 day to half a day to hours...
Remember that you are strong...regardless of how many dips you;ve had. That there are people out there who go through similar shit. Not many though..and this shit is uncommon...BUT those who do go through it..survive.
Remember that its easy to think that nobody would understand just how deep deep deep this love meant to you and no words can be expressed to even scratch the surface of how deep the love is....but there will be someone who understands. And even if he/she doesn't understand, having them by you to hear you vent or be with you when u cry...will help you. They don't have to talk because sometimes their talking doesn't help either. But them physically being there to listen and be with you wil help.
Remember to keep your heart open to all the other forms of love because tears can blind you from realising that people do care about you and love you and want to be there for you.
Remember who you are as an individual. Challenge yourself and learn new things because that way, you will rediscover who you are as an individual. That you don't need him to survive. That without him, you can still build your life.
Rememebr you are a fighter. You have a strong, mature, level headed personality. You have people around the world who love you. You have travelled the world and experienced things that not many people have done. You have succeeded in doing many things that others might not have a chance int eh lifetime or even guts to do. e.g.: bungee jumping!
Remember what things make you happy. Indulging in them once in awhile will make you happier.
I love you loads Sista! You have been my best friend in Sydney and I thank God that we had each other in Sydney because I couldn't imagine having any other person as a housemate, friend and sister. This is what lifelong friends are made of. :) HUGS
Anytime u feel you wanna vent, email me. no matter how long it is. no matter how many tears are shred while typing it, no matter if its addressed to me or him..no matter how much its filled with missings or hate etc etc. I won't mind because Ive had my fair share of such things too. And if it helps, it helps. :)
God Bless!
You are truly like my twin from India. Because of you, India is a closer place in my heart.
As for what you are facing now, I can't say that I understand exactly how you feel but I can understand how nasty it is. How it makes you want to cry till your heart is emptied and your lungs are emptied..then inhale and want to empty your lung and tears all over again.
I understand how many days would be spent conjuring up courage and strength in the day...and then curling up in tears at night...
I understand how hearing a song could make your heart skip a beat and sink with sadness
I understand that going to places that you and him had memories could conjure up sad memories
I understand that the mere mention of his name could bring you down fr the rest of the day..
I understand that you miss him a lot especially when you need someone to talk to but the only one you wanna speak to is him...
I understand all that...and remember that that is normal for someone who has gotten out of such a strong relationship.
Remember that it takes time to heal. Sometimes it takes years... It doesn't mean you're weak. It means that the relationship meant a lot to you.
Remember that through your process of recovery, there will be days that you feel powerless and slip back to depression. Its normal. Its like a whirlpool where you fight and fight hour by hour to keep strong but just when you feel that you're safe and you can rest, you get pulled in again. BUT you will never be as deep in as the first time and your dips will always be easier to handle than the previous. Because every dip makes you stronger. In due time you will realise that he time for you to recover from a dip is lesser. from 2 days to 1 day to half a day to hours...
Remember that you are strong...regardless of how many dips you;ve had. That there are people out there who go through similar shit. Not many though..and this shit is uncommon...BUT those who do go through it..survive.
Remember that its easy to think that nobody would understand just how deep deep deep this love meant to you and no words can be expressed to even scratch the surface of how deep the love is....but there will be someone who understands. And even if he/she doesn't understand, having them by you to hear you vent or be with you when u cry...will help you. They don't have to talk because sometimes their talking doesn't help either. But them physically being there to listen and be with you wil help.
Remember to keep your heart open to all the other forms of love because tears can blind you from realising that people do care about you and love you and want to be there for you.
Remember who you are as an individual. Challenge yourself and learn new things because that way, you will rediscover who you are as an individual. That you don't need him to survive. That without him, you can still build your life.
Rememebr you are a fighter. You have a strong, mature, level headed personality. You have people around the world who love you. You have travelled the world and experienced things that not many people have done. You have succeeded in doing many things that others might not have a chance int eh lifetime or even guts to do. e.g.: bungee jumping!
Remember what things make you happy. Indulging in them once in awhile will make you happier.
I love you loads Sista! You have been my best friend in Sydney and I thank God that we had each other in Sydney because I couldn't imagine having any other person as a housemate, friend and sister. This is what lifelong friends are made of. :) HUGS
Anytime u feel you wanna vent, email me. no matter how long it is. no matter how many tears are shred while typing it, no matter if its addressed to me or him..no matter how much its filled with missings or hate etc etc. I won't mind because Ive had my fair share of such things too. And if it helps, it helps. :)
God Bless!
Friday, March 16, 2012
Back to the quiet self...back to the introverted insecure idiot that I might be..
So much has happened since melbourne...sooo much has affected my class as well...
Im not particularly happy about it but not very sad about it. Or maybe Im sad but I dont know why. Like the times that I just feel in a daze...I dont know what to feel, how to feel and why.
Throughout this entire thing..I feel like if I were to say anything...it would all be very personal and not objective. I feel that speaking at this point would open up a can or worms. Despite how I know it is a can or worms and am fully aware of the expiry date...And I know where I could go wrong. Speaking would be giving my heart the Freedom of Speech...while my brain takes a holiday....not good....
Dont want that to happen. I dont want to let what happened before..happen again...
I dont like regret my words...
God, gonna need you to guide me...
God Bless
Im not particularly happy about it but not very sad about it. Or maybe Im sad but I dont know why. Like the times that I just feel in a daze...I dont know what to feel, how to feel and why.
Throughout this entire thing..I feel like if I were to say anything...it would all be very personal and not objective. I feel that speaking at this point would open up a can or worms. Despite how I know it is a can or worms and am fully aware of the expiry date...And I know where I could go wrong. Speaking would be giving my heart the Freedom of Speech...while my brain takes a holiday....not good....
Dont want that to happen. I dont want to let what happened before..happen again...
I dont like regret my words...
God, gonna need you to guide me...
God Bless
Thursday, March 08, 2012
Melbourne
Some many thoughts in my head when Im in melbourne. Assignments, wisdom, youth, Kony...
Since being in Melbourne, Ive been sharing a room with 3 of my classmates who are crazy.... Sadly I couldn't bring myself to reciprocate the madness with enthusiasm. Thereby concluding that I am too old for all that game.
It was really refreshing to meet up with people I know in Melbourne... :) Eric, Jas, Siru, Poh Ling, Timothy etc...
Had a really good time chatting with them, knowing that they could relate to me. Albeit they might not agree, but they would have been able to relate my point of view.....
Anyway this tour has been good except that it was too short... It would be sad if I can't meet with Laura and Foong and the rest of the family tomorrow...
God Bless
Since being in Melbourne, Ive been sharing a room with 3 of my classmates who are crazy.... Sadly I couldn't bring myself to reciprocate the madness with enthusiasm. Thereby concluding that I am too old for all that game.
It was really refreshing to meet up with people I know in Melbourne... :) Eric, Jas, Siru, Poh Ling, Timothy etc...
Had a really good time chatting with them, knowing that they could relate to me. Albeit they might not agree, but they would have been able to relate my point of view.....
Anyway this tour has been good except that it was too short... It would be sad if I can't meet with Laura and Foong and the rest of the family tomorrow...
God Bless
Saturday, March 03, 2012
Slowly gaining momentum
Nobody is perfect and Im am the least.
Slowly gaining momentum again. Slowly gaining motivation again. Some people determination made of steel and fibre optics and what have you in the world of advance technology. I...have none of that hahaha copper wires, 56K modem etc in the "prehistoric times"
But where all this is lacking..its good to bring my heart back to God and depend on him. Not meaning I sit back and relax...more like..not let my heart worry.. Just do what I have to do...and know that it isnt as painful as I thought it would be hahaha
As my Singlish self would say: " aiyah just do lor! Whats the worse that could happen? At most at the end of the day, you feel damn sian and curl up in bed and sleep lor! Hahahah"
Once this month is over, Im going to enjoy my weekend!
Till then, everything including my singing, my dancing, my songwriting (whatever level thats in) is all on hold...thats right! My life is on hold!
A sister asked me why I have such sad eyes... It took me by slight surprise hahha a coz I never could tell hahaha But what she also said, was that I keep alot to myself. Maybe I was brought up in a household where speaking my mind didnt seem important... And maybe my definitoin for something worth speaking up about is different...maybe my threshhold is different. Maybe thats why I seem alot more "heck care" because to me it isnt an issue worth getting worked up over...hmmm
Oh Well... Note to self: need to get a new diary....
God Bless
Slowly gaining momentum again. Slowly gaining motivation again. Some people determination made of steel and fibre optics and what have you in the world of advance technology. I...have none of that hahaha copper wires, 56K modem etc in the "prehistoric times"
But where all this is lacking..its good to bring my heart back to God and depend on him. Not meaning I sit back and relax...more like..not let my heart worry.. Just do what I have to do...and know that it isnt as painful as I thought it would be hahaha
As my Singlish self would say: " aiyah just do lor! Whats the worse that could happen? At most at the end of the day, you feel damn sian and curl up in bed and sleep lor! Hahahah"
Once this month is over, Im going to enjoy my weekend!
Till then, everything including my singing, my dancing, my songwriting (whatever level thats in) is all on hold...thats right! My life is on hold!
A sister asked me why I have such sad eyes... It took me by slight surprise hahha a coz I never could tell hahaha But what she also said, was that I keep alot to myself. Maybe I was brought up in a household where speaking my mind didnt seem important... And maybe my definitoin for something worth speaking up about is different...maybe my threshhold is different. Maybe thats why I seem alot more "heck care" because to me it isnt an issue worth getting worked up over...hmmm
Oh Well... Note to self: need to get a new diary....
God Bless
Friday, March 02, 2012
Tired...not physically....more emotionally...just for today
Didnt feel myself today. even though tomorrow is saturday..dnt feel myself...
Dnt know why....or maybe dnt want to know why...or dont wanna say why. Arent we all contradicting beings!
Maybe I know but I dont dare to admit it...
Hmmm Just had an ex student who asked if anynone has ever felt an unexplainable sadness and emotional and physical fatigue and lack of motivation...I replied to her "yes" and when she asked what I did about it, it took me an entire 2 paragraphs to explain...
Humans....
Im gonna look to God to explain it to me or at least comfort me...
God Bless
Dnt know why....or maybe dnt want to know why...or dont wanna say why. Arent we all contradicting beings!
Maybe I know but I dont dare to admit it...
Hmmm Just had an ex student who asked if anynone has ever felt an unexplainable sadness and emotional and physical fatigue and lack of motivation...I replied to her "yes" and when she asked what I did about it, it took me an entire 2 paragraphs to explain...
Humans....
Im gonna look to God to explain it to me or at least comfort me...
God Bless
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)