Spent the first few days of 2017 in deep thought. Right before it ended, I was in a situation that I knew would affect my 2017 greatly.
Ive been sooo silly last year. Letting my emotions take me on a fieldtrip to hell and back. I made terrible decisions and missed good opportunities... I let my fears pull me down and let my foolishness rule my days... I got off the track and couldnt get myself on for a long time. no matter how others tried to help. No I wasnt suicidal..but I was abit more depressed than before. I wrote entry after entry of depression in my journal..repeated words for the same situation, entry after entry like groundhog day... I gave up on many things to mull over something too silly...
This year I want to be in a better control of my emotions, my future, my skills, my health...
last year's turmultuous emotions have made it feel like a roller coaster ride that Im not sure if Im out of yet. Or just maybe, I've subconsciously hopped onto another scarier rollercoaster ride that hasnt even taken off yet....
This year I want to sort out many things.... both tangible and intangible. And Im not sure if I will be able to last through the year.
This year's resolution:
- be more independent
- be more emotionally stable and level headed
- be more physically active
- continue with the band and be a better, more independent band member
- write my songs, play my guitar, play my ukulele, learn abit more of the keyboard
- improve on my singing
- finally find someone... Im not holding my breathe for this one. Im not even gonna actively find one.
I just know that God will provide one if its his will to grant me one. And this person will break through any form of defence that I have.
God Bless
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