....

so had a really long chat with a friend recently. from 10pm to 5am...whilst im feeling bloody tired now, not really regretting it because its been such a looonnngggg time since I actually met someone who thinks and acts exactly like me!! Packed with humour that got me in stitches. It was such an honest conversation which I havnt had in a long time.... the sort of conversation, Ive been in need of for a long time..something that made me feel like I was willing to just brave the fear and speak my mind. a conversation that didnt consist of mediocre replies but real life experiences, real thoughts and feelings that I have always been afraid of saying, for fear that the listener would read into it and read me. Of things that Ive always believed but never mentioend because nobody really asked or didnt seem to want to sit down to listen.

We spoke of fear, breakups, being an introvert, the real self, the dreams, conflict in the world, autism, abuse, women and children, movies, religion.

got to know this new friend at a friend's wedding and because of his character, I found myself instantly throwing comebacks at his comments. something that I felt very bad afterwhich and as such, tried not to say anything else to offend but somehow we still ended up throwing comments at each other. abit of friendly smart comments flying around. Good thing this person has enough skin to not be offended. 

this and my friend's wedding, got me thinking about my own life...

what i want of it, whether Im living my life the way it's meant to be lived, whether Ive just allowed myself to close up so much that what I could have enjoyed, Ive just pushed away...Ive had too many people asking me when my turn will be...... ppfft

it truly is time to make new resolutions and action on it... to re-evaluate my goals and deadlines...

God Bless