To India and back

I haven't blogged in awhile but this is worth blogging. Of course...words can't describe India fully..

I started on 30th November morning. The plans as to get to Mumbai, transit to Indore then make a Beeline to Sonal's place for her wedding. On the way, I met Constanza and Puneet and that calmed me down about how i was gonna manage India. I love this country but it still scared me. Whilst int eh car to Sonal's place, the thought of seeing her when we reach there, kept a smile on my face. After 3 years of not seeing each other, I finally get to meet her face to face and witness her get married.

Even now, thinking about her makes me tear and honest to God, I dont know why. I guess I love her to bits and having spent a year int eh same house as her, chatting with her about our lives and our loves and our loses...to see her again and talk with her again..was emotional. Not to mention to see her finally happy and content.

We went to get our attires on the first day. Apparently the 5-6 days of wedding ceremonies required us to be in a variety of casual to heavy attire. The first day was getting to know the family. I guess Sonal must have spoken to them about me because her dad welcomed me by name. I also hit it off well with her mother and sister. People whom Ive seen in pictures and heard about but never got to meet face to face. Yet Ive come to regard as family.

I can't have a more indian family than this one. Infact, when the dohl started playing, people danced. We had dance games whereby a host would say a rhyme that ended with the name of a group of people. This group of people would then have to step forward to dance. The elders waved money over our heads as blessing and handed it to the performers.

2nd day we got our mehendi done. mehendi aka henna. 5 girls hired to come to the house to do mehendi for everyone! Depending on the family relations, the mehendi got more complicated and longer. Sonal's mehendi took 5-6hours for all 4 limbs. It incorporated various wedding scenes and nikhil's name. Sonal also brought me to see her secret dance rehearsal which I teared just watching.

To be honest, I never felt so emotional in awhile and this was the first that it was for a happy reason.

Made me feel silly but hey it's my Indian soul sister's wedding!!!!

Also got the chance to try Paan. its an after food thing they eat to improve the breathe and help digestion. Wrapped in betal leaves..it did taste like mouthwash and toothpaste.

3rd day we moved to the hotel. before that, we helped Sonal get ready. This included heating her mehendi patterned hands over a hot plate and helping her scrap off the dried mehendi from her legs and heating them over the hot plates. it seems that the heat does darken the colour of the mehendi which is an auspicious thing. The darker the patterns not eh under side, the better your relationship is with your spouse. the darker it is on the upside, the better your relations are with your in-laws. It was a small and simple thing to help her with this mehendi..but to me, it was also an honour. An honour to be of help in her wedding. To be the special person to help her with this. I know I overthinking this but Id like to think so. Considering how most of what was spoken was in Hindi, it leaves little space for us non-hindi folks to help out..so this task was a privilege.

At the hotel, Ive learnt that the dohl was like our alarm clock. when  it sounded, we came together and danced. Apparently the family booked the entire hotel.. pretty crazy but the number of guests warranted the extravagance I guess.

Did I also mention how we were constantly reminded to have food and drinks since day one? Basanti, the servant girl never failed to come around to ask if we wanted water, tea or coffee with a smile on her face. I love her to bits despite her persistent offers.

In these few days, I got to know many new people. Constanza, Hanna, Puneet, Orevia, Swati, Yukti, Rashi, Noamaan, soo many whom I've tried to remember names of. Sharan, Karan etc

Hanna and I clicked almost instantly. Sydney folk. For the rest, it took awhile but everyone was very friendly. The one who cracked me put he most was Puneet. Not only did he remind me of my student, Abid, he was also pretty hilariously funny and at times, annoying. Makes me want to throw comments at him or smack him on the shoulder. He's one of those guys I know I would get along with well.

That night, we had an extravagant dinner at the hall that really looked like a fashion show/Academy Awards ceremony... And the bride and groom were gorgeously dressed. Im talking bling and makeup.

This was also the night that Sonal would show her dance. I was excited and nervous for her! Aside from her, all the other family members chipped in with their own dances. The mothers in the family danced a song that apparently spoke of how a mother can't bear to let her daughter go. Its a good thing I didn't know hindi because upon having that explained to me, I teared. Thinking about how her mum might feel that way..

As warned, I teared from her mum's dance, at her dance and at other various occasions.

Next day, we had her bangle ceremony and Nikhil's torture ceremony. Her wedding bangles and to be washed in milk and worn on her wrist by family members. Also she would be smeared with turmeric by her family members and friends who would receive it from her too. For me, she decided to smear it all over my face and chin...

Seeing her family play the drum and sing folk songs during the ceremony was fun. despite not know what they meant, seeing how everyone just loved the music and sang along.

Nikhil on the other hand, was smeared all over with turmeric but also had his shirt torn up! didn't witness all that but he looked wonderfully terrible after that. Seeing them meet at the stairway with nobody around was very sweet. In fact, hearing her tone change when he's not he other end of the phone, makes me feel very happy for her. :) Hope he treats her well.

The night event included a big banquet where the couple had to stand onstage to welcome and take photos with everyone for hours. Sonal was stressing out before that and whatever orders she gave me, I did. Not knowing what else to do, I tried to make her smile. One does not want to be on the receiving end of a stressed boss-like bride. But honestly, helping her with anything during this wedding, was my pleasure. All that I can do for such a dear sister.

She cried during the end of this day. After the ceremony in front of the fire, walking around the fire etc, she went around the room, saying bye to her family members. it when she came face to face with her big uncle, that tears flowed... Then they got worse as she went around the room. Basanti went around passing out tissues. The last bit where she walked out of the room, throwing a mix of rice and stuff behind her every few steps that she took. Apparently, it means her throwing her memories back to her family because she is now moving on to a new life with a new family.

The groom brings her to the car/horse and they ride off into the night whilst she still had teardrops in her lashes. When her father came forth to her, she instantly clung to him and cried hard. Thats where i teared too...

The next day, we went back to the house... was a quiet day because most of the guests had gone home, the rest of us, knew that some of us would be leaving India soon. Amidst the jokes, we subconsciously knew that time was running out. Its amazing how with the little time we had, the friendship was strong. This was the one time a lot of us finally got a chance to sit and talk with the family. We also laughed about Basanti and her persistence. Wasabi, tea, coffee, tissue, saree etc

Right. stopping here for now. Continue another day. Bollywood movies dont last for only an hour.. :D

God Bless