I cried to sleep

sounds really weak but last night, I felt the need to. Dont worry Im fine now. Crying is just a way to relief the tension in me.
I cried because for that 15mins that tears ran down, I felt something in my being wrenched out..hope I guess..or love..
It felt abit like when I first lost someone..although I always belief that Ive seen the deepest and this is not as deep. So i can deal with this...
This morning, puffy eyed and all..we still carry on with work.

I feel alot better. I feel like my emotions are more in check and the one whom Id ripped out my hopes for, is cast aside. I dont feel the same longing as before. I cant say the same if he was in front of me today but to live this day without the need to speak to him, is a day won for me. And if I cant keep going this way for the next few days, then slowly I will learn not to emotionally depend on him. I would have myself back.

Ning was always alot stronger than all this. Even if once in awhile, she does like to step into ditches..

God Bless