So for the whole of the past week, I was somehow able to not think about the guy. It's a milestone..
Meeting him recently and realizing that I actually dnt mind not talking or striking up a conversation whilst with him and that Im okay with thinking of my own things whilst with him... it maybe means that once again, Im on the road to recovery..
I've stopped thinking about the things that he did for me and just focused on how despite all this, he still loves himself more than he will ever love me. And if I keep telling myself that, then I will slowly be able to climb out of this ditch.
At least I dont feel the need to call him all the time now. At least I dont feel the need to poke and nudge.
Having spoken to him about his lack of interaction as a friend, it made me realize how Im really tired of being that friend that just keeps asking for company and asking for help...
So now Im left with no one again..not that I ever had one to start with...but...somehow this became a fake relationship I guess..one of those inflatable and deflatable ones that we use for our own convenience. One of those almost "cuddle buddies" on a rainy days...the gap filler...
EVen though maybe for me...the gaps were more and the result of filling those..was that it would be emotionally draining.
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