Once in a long week

Today is 30 April...day before labour day. My student asked me if Im coming back to labour tomorrow..... haiz...

Looked through this year's Spore Art Festival Schedule and I think these 2 months will be very fun. :) Singapore Chinese Orchestra is doing something fusiony and this year's temple of fine arts concert is finally coming, Water!
Ive planned out my may and june entertainment schedule :P Ive got thur and fri padded down sooo tight that I dont think I'll be staying int he office very late. :) Told my colleague that I was in sch on sunday...and often come back on sat, he gave me a funny look and said, "you need a life. You need a bf" Hahahahahaha I raised and eye brow and said..."emm no"

Anyway last sat, I went for the World View 360 event at Harbour front. Snow and Yani w ere compereing for it and it started out quite okay in the beginning but byt the time half time was in, they were doing very well. Snow always told me that she couldnt do informal events...BAH! Yani, had her family probs that day but she still gave ti her best. Even while she was quite tired, she still gave her all! At the end of the day, the organisers loved them and gave them namecards for future emcee jobs. :) I must admit that I would have loved to be the receiver of namecards too...I would honestly have loved to get an offer from those guys and even contacts from Mediacorp. But Im happy that its going so well for them. :) Then while good business happens, we have another prob...how do we differentiate between what goes to the club and what goes to the members. Very thin line...I only hope they understand where Im coming from...

The weekend ended in a jiffy...was really tired...thur, fri and sat I got home no earlier than 11pm. Thankfully my family has been understanding enough to not nag me about it...not yet...I try to go home earlier okay :)

K Im still abit sleepy and very tired but I think today wouldnt be that bad a day...anyway..it shudnt be coz God is with me. I know I havnt been the best christian so far but I know that at least my heart is with God.... :)

God Bless

Bah Kua, Headaches, new bag, backaches, blue black

All the sentosa fun resulted in a severe headache and a very drowsy and tired me.
The last ISC cheer scream was the loudest I ever did..even my students knew that I never use a loud hailer for a cheer...
I am happy with the outing :) emm maybe very happy hahahah I guess the only thing that needs to be changed is our habit of speaking chinese....it really doesnt help. But still, I was impressed by the creativity by some fot he students. :)

Went to meet my sista to intro her to a fren of mine who does freelance compereing...Never knew he'd be successful now hahaha He was my ex bf's classmate. Naturally, every common topic between all of us pops up and Pravin was one of them.

Im trying my best to help my sista coz I know its tough on her but Im soo sorry babe if I wasnt up to it on that day..I was too zonked. Not to mention the constant mention of Pravin is not good for my health. I hate to say this but much as I miss that bro of mine..and wanna catch up w him...I dont know if Im up to it... sigh...what a way to lose a bestest best bro...
By the end of the day..I was both tired and sad...Sentosa and Pravin dont go together...

So at the end of the day and beginning of yesterday...I was quite sad...in a mood again actually... as I expected on fri night... getting contacts for my sista has brought me too deep into my own history... She said sorry....feeling bad that she made me step back into a place I didnt want to go but in reality...I wanted to step back in for her. The good part about it is that it made me realie how many contacts I cud tap into when I need help... Amen...

Anyway..after yesterday's church session, I was better. Pravin will never be bigger than God and I know I have to drill that into myself. I know God will eventually give me someone who will love me as much as Pravin did but never take away my love and attention to God.

God Bless

What happens

what happens when all I feel like doing is blog and write and talk and sing and do soemthing that will make it feel like Im emptying myself.....I just finished an entry but I feel I cud write more....I dont think I have much to say but I just feel like I want to write more and its so bad that I cud just close my eyes and press any key on the keypad.. and after loads of typed jibberish..I suspect Id feel good!

Am I going crazy? I need to relief something but I dont know what...

I feel like I have to pour out...

If I cud swim..now wud be the right time to jump into the pool....

..hmmpphhh... K i better stop here...need to do somethignelse...

God Bless

I need to blog blogblog blog...

My strength is drained..think it started from school reopen...tomorrow is sentosa outing and I was very excited...but now...Im just plain tired....feel like lying in the sand and sleeping....im abit ablivious to consequence of waking up red as a lobstor...

I have been too busy and stressed. naturally...this isnt healthy but God seems to have me in alot of things..of is it just me? Do I put my foot into sooo many things that I strangle myself? Maybe...but my passion for them...cant be subsided...

I admit that the paper work in any educational institute is mt everest high and I think that if I have any complaints in work..it would be that the paper work is stifling my motivation... :/ Im still trying very hard to get used to all the papers...honestly my table has never been neat since I moved in hahahahha

I guess for a fw weeks Ive been asking myself whether I would be working long term in SP...whether I wud change dept...but the truth is..I would rather be in SAA than any other dept because its got more involvement with students than any other dept... But would I stay in SP for long...lets just say that I wud miss all the students I work with..good or bad...I wud miss working my clubs t their very best..I wud miss that...

If I cud have my way, Id have a job in SP with only involvement with students and student activities...I wud not bother about the meticulous levels of authority I need to work through...

Speaking of clubs...I had a firing session or talk with the comperes...I told them about my expectations in them and told them that if they would stick with the club and gel with everyone in the club and put in the effort to come for training and sharing..they will be better comperes.
Alvin, Yani, Snowlin tried to make me laugh, hoping that it would dissipate the anger I had when I saw how uncommitted the club members were and how disrespectful of time they were. They knew I had alot alot alot of expectations I had of them. I admit its true but I feel that these expectations can be met and if met...will make the club better...I believe I can train them to be alot better comperes than how they are now and eventually...be freelance comperes..if my dream doesnt work, then those who have the same dream..will be able to make it...

Seriously..it has crossed my mind that if I were to leave SP, I would be a deejay...why not? But I know whats stopping me now...the students..the clubs...I want to bring them up to their best...

Its hard for me knowing I have 2 portfolios to run..Moberly and Student services...Its tough....but I think so far, God has given me stength to persist and Him always reminding me that I have Him to lean on... Amen

I met up with a close fren few nights ago and we discussed about christianity...it was a very interesting discussion and what I remember most is how when I described my love for God to be like a father and child thing...and how if I wanted to love Him, i would do all I could think to show Him....

Daddy I love you....I am in abit of trouble these days and I felt like crying just now...but after shedding a fw tears and knowing you are around and you love me and dont want me to be sad...Im better now... Daddy..give me the strength to do my best please..I dont know how forgiving this place is with mistakes but I must say that Ive been fortunate to have received the softer end of the stick...Im not saying that you spare me from the rod..but Im praying for your wisdom Daddy...wisdom that will help me to excel above the troubled waters...

Daddy..lastly..please give me the peace beyond understanding..please teach me to cast my worries to you and sit still. Sit still ruth...

Daddy I worship you for your everlasting presence I feel around me. :) that it gives me the things i lack to teach my students. I have no words to write a song about you because no song seems appropriate enough to worship you...nothing that feels like its overflowing from my heart...but I believe that one day I will be able to write a song for you Daddy...a song that will glorify your name and touch the hearts of those who have not felt your love...

God Bless

....our society fails us

http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/viewPost2581.aspx

Tried to read a few pages of the comments..laughed at afew, cringed at some, dissappointed at all of them...wanted to shoot them all down but felt it more appropriate if I said things to the minor few who read my blog. The rest dont deserve to hear...

The students were made to sell flags so early to catch the morning crowd. meaning..7 something in the morning. They obviously have not had their breakfast, hence went down to get breakfast 1st. Nothing wrong with that. What is wrong...is that they cud have taken turns to get the donuts, sent a rep to buy for the rest who would be making use of the morning crowd to collect more money. If they dont make use of the morning crowd, then wahst the point of making them wake up so early. Also whoever took this disregarded that there are about hundreds of other students who are out there collecting. Not all of them are getting food. I would suggest we give these kids a break from being scolded for queueing for what we would all call, "breakfast" The most impt meal fot he day.

At the same time...my dissapointment with our students is not anything lesser. Its obvious that they went there in a group. they didnt take turns..they all just decided to sit down in a class...
And whats worse, its also obvious that alot of these students dont know why they're doing all this. it is for the Presidents Charity. NOT SP! None of their so called"begging money" is for SP

Lastly... If I cud scold those students big time I would (the ones who were commenting) There are very few people who do willingly ask for a can to help with donations. But whether it is forced or not...what shoudl be done should be done to their best efforts...and not harp on the fact that its forced its forced..as if we probed them with hot iron prongs and forced them to go..as if they are very unhappy to do it. Then it isnt about the donuts anymore..its about our students lack of their own compassion to help others....my heart breaks.

I can honestly sayt hat I HATE doing flag day...but when Im made to do it...(force and made are different) I do it with my best efforts...I ask and ask and ask and at those times..I come across people who have the biggest hearts which only spur me to work harder. Im not the best collector...but Im not the ones who only get $2.50 at the end of the whole day. Point is....Dont keep harping on being forced coz it doesnt make your reason any better. it only shows that you lack compassion and you wont get anything done so long as someone makes you do something you dont like...and i ave a feeling that so long as someone makesa you do something you dont like...you automatically term it as "force"...Cher! He force me to do that wat!!!!

.....our society fails us for being so stereotypical and lacking of compassion. The public shuns flag day doers as if they were plagued..how does that help flag day doers? How does this encourage them?

Our youth are starting to be so pampered that they dont consider the others around them.... They lack the common sense and compassion and communication skills. If I think anymore..I can basically come up with 6C's that our youth dont have...
I hate to say this but it is also due to the adults..their parents...parents are doting them too much.

If I ever have a kid, I wud teach my kid to think for others...to have common sense or to find out things for themselves...

My motivation for working with students has gone down by a notch just seeing the youth/teens....I worry about singapore's future...

God Bless

ISC I love you ISC, with us you will never be alone

Yesterday's ISFO got me tired and with a terrible headache but amidst all that, I also felt it very endearing that they were making frens with the juniors and they were working together, that they sang the ISC song hahahah

Honestly speaking...aside from indian dance, I loved the ISC song :) I was even happier having them singing it on stage hahahahha and the ISC cheer brought back memories of the LTC camp. :)

Im very very proud of them all, helpers and committee members. ever since enrolment they gave it their all to promote ISFO and even when the performances sucked, except the burmese dances and indian dance and guitarists....at the end of the day...everything worked!

I can attribute our problems to the negligence of performance standards and lack of experieince of the emcees. which can be easily corrected.

When I felt last night, I said thank you to God on the train. He made a lot of things go smoothly and gave us the extra budget to make things better.... He gave us some interesting magazines and the t-shirts, budget for the food, a solid committee even though it wasnt our full strength...He gave us the smooth flow of things even though alot of things were last minute...the GOH invite..the director's invites...the t-shirts...the helpers...the weather...the games... AMEN!

ISC...you won my heart lah you! Hahahahah I know Im now part of comperes and sparcs team as well and sometimes its hard to divide myself evenly...but you know you have my heart as well. :)

Ning

Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhh....finally can sit down

International Students Freshmen Orientation just ended...I had cold sweat... Im soooo happy its done and successful although we had abit of hick ups....but Im soo proud of them for trying so hard! :) Guys you fill my world with soo much colour!

Anyway...I am glad its done successfully, glad its over and glad its friday...Feeling very very very pukey...no joke...feel very bad...

wanted to go makan w my ISC peeps but dunno if i can make it..

gonna walk back to auditorium now...

God Bless...

PS: Thanks Daddy that you gave me such a great bunch of students...that we actually all worked together to put up a good ISFO!

Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhh....finally can sit down

International Students Freshmen Orientation just ended...I had cold sweat... Im soooo happy its done and successful although we had abit of hick ups....but Im soo proud of them for trying so hard! :) Guys you fill my world with soo much colour!

Anyway...I am glad its done successfully, glad its over and glad its friday...Feeling very very very pukey...no joke...feel very bad...

wanted to go makan w my ISC peeps but dunno if i can make it..

gonna walk back to auditorium now...

God Bless...

PS: Thanks Daddy that you gave me such a great bunch of students...that we actually all worked together to put up a good ISFO!

I need to blog again...

Spent this mon and tues at ubin...on course...Youth Expedition Project leader course...

few things I reflected by the end of that trip
- dont take my toilet for granted
- repect those who can tahan living in a place with armies of mosquitoes and not wearing a shirt

I was so scared of mozzies that I covered my face the whole night I slept...I almost suffocated but who cares..so long as they dont bite my face and arms and everything. I coacooned myself in the sleeping bag...

Believe it or not..we had chocolate fondue for dessert during the camp (house of wooden planks w cobwebs and flies's wings hanging around the place) how? Matt got to excited with the idea of a camp and having a sumptious dinner there. In the end..Dinner Menu: Spaghetti Bolagnaise, chocolate fondue... Thanks Matt!

I'll admit the stay wasnt too bad..only because we had each other to be with..if it was a solo stay...I'll cry...Had the little stuffed key chain my sis gave me...an "ugly doll" :)

ISFO is tomorrow...Im getting very nervous coz I have to talk to them and its the time of reckoning.... :/ I know my students have been working very very hard for this and Im soooo proud of them. I really hope this event goes well coz it deserves to go well. If it doesnt I know I'll be dissappointed ...mostly with myself coz Im supposed to be the advisor...but I also know that while I feel this way...I must also tell myself and them that given everything...I still think it was a good effort..I think all those who helped...deserve a VERY BIG pat on the back and HUG!

LOVE THEM!

just wondering that if one day I had to give them up...it wud be sad coz I wud miss working with them and it wud be up to them and their new officer to sustaint he club...but personally...it wud be a chance for me to work with other clubs....pros and cons....cud I have both? :/

K anyway...I love you guys!

God Bless!

Blog!

Geez dont know where to start! My HP is crazy again so I cant receive calls...

For the previous days have been on course for Youth Expedition Projects..meaning when Im done w this I can lead students to overseas comm service projects..plan to go back to Medan!
During the whole lesson, I was brought back to my own OCS trip to china...5 years ago...5 YEARS! Its been a damn long time lah!But so mnay memories are still crystal clear...even my proj leader was at the course and we refered to our trip alot! :)

Had a super busy enrolment period last week and my students have done me soo proud by being a good example to even the local students. Im losing faith in my local students...not all are bad but the majority lack the basic streetsmart and responsible character... The planning of ISFO has been crazy and often scary but Im glad all is falling into place..I feel bad having my students chase me for stuff..but Im sooo proud of the taking the initiative..I hope that they learn fromt his maj event and fromt here step up to form bigger and better events! AMEN!

God has been my sourceof strength..been reading book of job. trying to gain the strength and conviction job has and win my spiritual battles man! Soo many freaking battles coming my way... clearing my financial stuff and having a colleague sick, loads of unforseen hurdles at work and dissappointments... Yet you know what I realize? that I do have favour from God who makes me favourable in other's eyes too...God has granted me more money to provide for my ISC..a favour I cud not believe my eyes in. My Daddy in heaven obviously heard my prayers!
While I suffer from satan's strikes? I know my daddy still protects me and blesses me...and while doing so, I will be able to in turn bless those around me... AMEN

I believe that the more I glorify God, the more He will make my path straight..even when I dont..and get lost in the midst of work...He still walks by me and makes my road walkable..tolerable...
Yay though i walk in the valley of the shadow of death..I shall fear no evil, for thou art with me...........your rod, your staff, they comfort me. :)

Im also very proud of my comperes for taking the 2nd step to improve their skills. I also got a chance to host the King & I press conference and it was great! Woohooo! I guess this sorta made me feel like going into all this hosting stuff again... :) and maybe radio...dunno...

Heard from someone..maybe pastor joshua...that sometimes we have to take a BIG detour to get to where we wanted to go it eh 1st place. Something like..."so near yet so far" theory...having seen your dream..yet having to go another way..and spend some time somewhere else before having a chance to get back to that dream. Maybe thats how Im going? Of Course...it also related to me on other issues in my life...issues that I wont face now but everyone else seems to be pushing me and advising me to move towards....towards getting someone to love...I still believe God has the person in mind...detour or not..Im not sure..but i know..He has the person in mind... :) so dont worry abt that!

K gotta ciao! stayed in Mc D's too long!

God BLess!

Bloggy blog blog

On course today...

Had loads to blog during the weekend but cudnt get down to doing it and since I cant do it now either. it will be in instalments

1st things 1st, had a scary session w 1 of my bros hahaha who weird as he already is, interrogated me about my life..what I like to do etc, whats happening in my life...truth is Im not too sure myself so it was a long interrogation really...but I remember myself thinking like that as well...asking myself such questions, ....Ive changed...Ive seriously changed into someone who never looks further than her own pile of work...

Went rollerblading on sat...felt real good man..legs abit sore though but I hadnt ben to east coast for a long time and going there on a good weather's day ... :)

Anyway..gonna run..

God Bless!