Bestest Best Bro

So my long lost bestest best bro came back to visit. Well things have been rough between us before we graduated and Im happy to say that Im sooo glad I can talk to him again. It isnt like before when we could chat till no end and come up w silly ideas together...but its a start and I somehow have no doubt that I could start from where we left off as friends.

As bestest best bros go, I couldnt not agree if he requested me to do anything cause he's my dearest bestest best bro..and its been such a long while since I saw him and caught up with him. I truly believe that things are alot better between us and we've put the past behind us. And yes I do love him as a brother. :)

In fact, because he specifically requested, I decided to join them for their indian clubbing hahaha Yeah it was an interesting experience but Im glad for the company :) And truth be told, while I cant dance, I do love the beats :)
By now, my bestest best bro would be in Malaysia and onroute to UK.

I'll  miss him coz I know its gonna be quite long before I see him again. And even when I come back, Im not sure if he'll be in singapore. :)

Of all this...Im soo glad that I didnt lose a friend :)

God Bless

It is done!

I got into VCA!!! :) And I got my full scholarship!!! Its amazing and I believe that God gave me favour in everyone's eyes! I just didnt thinkk id get in! I know I'd get into something but it never occured to me that it would be Uni Melbourne! Woohooo!

The most exciting bit abt hte full scholarship, is that I'm getting pay and allowance! OMG!!!!!

WWOOOHHHHOOOOOO

I guess at the samt time, I realize how fast its gonna be before I fly and Im gonna miss my students like hell!!!
Im sooo gonna take loads of pics w people I love! Soo many people I love!!!

All I can say is...Praise The Lord!!!!! Praise Him for giving me favour and  blessings! Praise Him for having people around me to lead me into this path! Praise Him for people around me who encouraged me while i was down...PRaise Him!!! I am ssssoooooo blessed! Soooo full of unmerited favour!!!

God Bless!

VCA application is getting hotter

Well..VCA aint the best but its not bad....*shrugs* I leeaaked out abit of info to the rest to give them a little heads up in case I leave. I will miss my "children" but I know I have to go and take care of my own life 1st.

Anyway met up w some of the peeps in the past few days. Bumped into Wandi at orchard too! Poor dude! Setting up the sound system at midnight in orchard..siao man!

Had such a big laugh from bugis to orchard and its seriously been a while since Ive laughed that hard hahaha thanks to YQ and peiyan.

Still thinking abt Melbourne...still thinking about how Id live there...freaks me out abit..but i realize that hte more i know about the place and how to get aaround...the better I feel about going over. Am looking forward to spending more time with my nephew but at the same time...I know that I will be on my own most of the rest of the time...wow...

I know my God is with me and I love Him! :D I see my road ahead!

God Bless

Missing Melbourne

So Im still missing melbourne not coz of the food or shopping in central, but Im still missing my nephew, Foong. :) Its crazy hahaha when I left, I felt like I was leaving an immediate family member. :/
Was at church today and as I sang the worship songs and thought back on the aussie trip, the disappointments, the encouragements from my nephew, etc..I was tearing.
Its weird really... hahaha I honestly figure (from this situation) that if I would go to the US now to visit Chris & Dave, Id cry by the end of the trip. Id miss them so much!!!
All in all, Id say that Foong is my closest nephew. And Chris & Dave my closest cousins. I love them all to bits and I guess thats why Im more emotional. Cant wait to get back to melbourne again :P

Also want to say a HUGE "CONGRATS" to PohYan! Finally married! Dinner is done and we had fun doing it!Happy for her and Ricky :) Despite all lack of sleep, I manged to wing it. Not to my utmost but nonethelss, quite okay :P All us sisters had fun clowning around hehehehe

Anyway..still owe the sleep bank alot of hours. Need to rest my aching wrist and joints...no joke man..

Im thanking God for a wonderful holiday and the growing closeness of the family.

God Bless

last day of melbourne... :/

Last day of melbourne trip. slept at 4am to finish project..was really really nervous because this was the big killer. Woke up at 6.30am. Lugged the stupid model down to Malthouse by 9am. Took cab coz mum and I didnt think we'd be able to fit the model in. *shrugs* Thankfully the auditioner was very nice. He wasnt impressed I cud tell and I didnt have much to tell him...but..well I will believe in Melbourne Uni. Foong has been very positive about it and hopes to see me in melbourne very soon.
This  trip has somehow hit a very strong chord in my heart time and again.Yes Ive been having probs with mum throughout the trip but we ended all on a very mutual ground.I guess through this trip..Ive been trying hard to show her that Im independent..but to her..it could have seemed like I was just being ridiculously reckless..despite my pre-departure research. Pisses me off but im trying not to show it.
But what really brought my heart strings into knots was to see my nephew again.We hit it off really quickly with a big hug and abit of chit chatter about the past.Somehow Im soooo amazed by how close we still are and Im quite touched by it. Its like we're lost siblings. or thats how I feel. I feel like we didnt really lose touch. And I honestly cant remember how I ever got in touch with him again. But when we started talking, it's as if there was so much familiarity that we just carried on with the last conversation.
He's grown up to be a fine young man with a responsible yet fun loving character.Im sooo happy for him that he's turned out this way. :) And I know I havnt beent here for him but I am very proud of him. :)
I only managed to really speak to him on wed night and it was such an honest talk. We spoke about what we liked to do and our recent past. Seems like our choice of music is quite similar and i cant believe that he watches anime and still loves basketball.
In fact, Ive forgotten alot of things about him.
I rememebr he gave me an alaskan husky soft toy and he gave me a doggie coin bank for me to save up for my next aussie trip. I didnt fulfillt hat and it took me 15 yrs to get back to melbourne.
I wish I could spend more time with him, to just get to know him better again. Sadly we're all in the working class. While we were in aussie, he had to work as well...he ouldnt spend time with us unlike when we were kids and he would be able to play after he finished school. I didnt even reply his mail! Im aterrible auntie...I also rememebr how much fun we had hanging out at his place with his best friend Joong, or just watching tv and playing with sheila.
We even ended up giving each other nicknames. Or rather, I gave him a nickname...foongster. Id clean forgotten that nickname.
Its weird cos the more I talk about this, the more I feel like crying. I will miss him alot. He is truly like a brother to me. Maybe he doesnt feel the same and I dont know why I feel so strongly about it but...I do.I really really see him as my younger brother...
And amazingly Foong's father sees me as a 1/10 daughter too. He's cantonese too so somehow we clicked too.

This day has been boring after the  audition coz foong and the other cousins are now in goldcoast. Mum & I are lazing around the hotel area coz we didnt want to spend anymore transport money and we had little time left to travel. Nobody is sending us off so we  were quite bored. Something is missing without family sending us off. :/
OMG, I miss Melbourne already and I miss Foongster!
Yes it stupidly sounds weird and dont get your twisted minds working because Im not the incest sort.
Some relatives just click very well and he is one of those I know I will keep holding on to.
He's doing up a family tree and I'll try my best to include my side of the family as well...long long family tree.

Im probably gonna wait till I get hgome before sending him a msg on facebook to thank him and let him know how much he means to me too.

I also got to meet Joong..or aka joongster.Who doesnt recognise me anymore but whom I rememebr was quite a rascal when he was young haha. But now he is foong's best friend and after listening to foong's dad about him, Im glad foong has joong in his life. :) And im sure they will be best brothers for life. :) Even when they bid us goodbye, they said it at the same time! And I see much of Ian & stephen's bond in them.

i must say that im happy about coming to melbourne. It was really worthwhile. I really enjoyed walking around, reading maps, talking to locals and figuring my way out of the maze of roads, taking pictures of interesting stuff... :)

PG is sometimes not advised..especially when ur over 18...

Suffering from heartbreak now...As if my auditin wasnt enough to give me a headache, I had my mum nagging at me since the 2 weeks before.
I didnt need nagging...I didnt need advice that I already knew..as if I was only a 5 yr old child. I needed support..moral support..encouragement that I could do well...That I didnt get. What i got was " U better go and settle yoursstuff ah. Dont wait till the last day!!!" If I were still a kid, Id wait till teh last day befoer I got it working...JUST TO PISS HER OFF...but Im not. In fact all the researching and meeting with wendy I did (that could never be seen by her) was not accounted for...And because it wasnt accounted forr..and she never saw it...she assumed that I didnt do anything...
Sad....
So now we're in Aussie...Yes I got her to pay the plane ticket etc 1st.intending to pay back half. But at the rate things are going...Im planning to pay her back eveyrthing including her share in full. Because of her comment " All I know is that I paid for the......and now....." Iadmit I asked her because I didnt want papa to worrya nd because it would be easier to stay at our relative's house. But I didnt want her to come to be my parent...more to be my encourager...motivator....
But it still hurts to hear your own parent comment in that way that Money could be more important...
And if she means what she said..then it also means that she regret going with me..and if that is so..plau allt eh nagging and "irriated" tone she's given me....I regret it too. There! Ive admitted it!

Im in a way...very dissappointed...

My family is officially "Cui"....Ive never had my mum tell me she loved me since primary school. In fact I distinctly remember her complaining that she had to pay alot of money for my hospital fees long time ago because I was sick with bronchitis. Not that I wanted too and also my fault coz I was too scared to cough out my phlegm...

Yet its sad that I would have to go through this and Its frustrating when the only way I know to deal it is by being defensive and showing her that I am independant...

Very tired even before my interview....looks like this trip has been a challenge in more ways than one....

God Bless

Day 1 in melbourne

I thank God that I have such a good nephew! :) I cant believe that we still have a bond after 15 years! Im sooo touched by it! He brought us around for the whole sunday and I guess its coz we're now adults and not kids anymore. He was soooooo cute last time!

This nephew has gone through alot of stuff! I really feel for him....

We spent some time at Glen Waverly Train Station, The Glen etc. We went to visit my uncle and my cousin who passed away, then had dinner at my auntie's place.

Got a chance to chat with him and we talked about the last time I came down to melbourne.

And I must say that he is a fine young man! A very proper young man with a loving mother and father. His relationship with his parents seemed strong and with his dad, they are like friends. I admire that.
Im praying that this nephew of mine lives a blessed life!

Day2:

Went for VCA audition. Was good! I felt comfortable speaking to them! Im so ready to call melbourne my new home! And being w Foong and seeing melbourne, I felt it a pity to only be here for 1 week :)
Went to a few places like Southgate's foodcourt that has yummy mediterranean sandwiches n wraps!!!
Then walked across the river to flinder st, down st kilda's. Saw shops that sold bubble tea along elizabeth st,. spanish donuts, crumplets from cole supermart, Degrave st that has alot of nice cafes. Not cheap but such a nice spot to hangout. If Ian & stephen were with me, I think we'd be hanging out there alot more!
Then checked out chintown visited our previous hotel, Hotel Welcome, checked out Myers and David Jones
Then we went to see hte state library. So many pple sitting outside the library studying or reading or just enjoying the cooling sun!
Swanston st, spencer st, Lonsdale, Latrobe, Degrave, Elizabeth, Collin st, Bourke st etc
Found this nice coffee stop in the subway under st kildas towards the train station. nice original coffee.

K more tomorrow :)

Thanks God for Uni Melbourne VCA!!!

God Bless

I need to get myself out of the whirlpool of doom

Im almost up to my neck in anger because my mum has been trying to encourage me by nagging me and saying that Im waiting to the last minute to do my audition stuff.

It pisses me off soooo bad because I know Im really trying and I know I have more to do but her 1 sentence annihilates all the hardwork I felt Ive been putting in...leaving me with exactly what she said..."nothing"

Well if thats the case, I might as well dnt go for audition right!

It hurts...I have half my mind to just tell her that i rather go australia alone than have her with me. I have half my mind to really tell her off! Hasnt she learnt that her words are sooo full of poison?!?!
Hasnt she realized that the reason why nobody in the house listens to her is because she has nothing good to say?!?!

How can anyone not feel relieved when they leave the house? Why would anyone want to go back early when the family is soooo dysfunctional!

Both my parents are mad!

I know Im not supposed to feel dissappointed and discouraged now..I know I shudnt  sell myself out for a few useless comments from others...but I still cant believe that my family is actually soooo self destructive!

This sat, I'll be stuck in australia with my mum...for the past few weeks, Ive slowly begun to regret asking my mum along....

Haiz...I need a mother that doesnt just nag..but truly encourages and have faith in me...Someone who doesnt welcome me with "put your socks in the laundry basket" or "wah ur feet"...but also " welcome back" Someone who doesnt grumble abt having to do stuff when she's the one who started doing it without pple telling her.

Sad to say, many families dnt event mention to each other "I love you", "I miss you", " you can do it" "I have faith in you"

Times like these...I know our country is screwed...we are so driven by results and achivements that thats all we can see for our children...