Suffering from heartbreak now...As if my auditin wasnt enough to give me a headache, I had my mum nagging at me since the 2 weeks before.
I didnt need nagging...I didnt need advice that I already knew..as if I was only a 5 yr old child. I needed support..moral support..encouragement that I could do well...That I didnt get. What i got was " U better go and settle yoursstuff ah. Dont wait till the last day!!!" If I were still a kid, Id wait till teh last day befoer I got it working...JUST TO PISS HER OFF...but Im not. In fact all the researching and meeting with wendy I did (that could never be seen by her) was not accounted for...And because it wasnt accounted forr..and she never saw it...she assumed that I didnt do anything...
Sad....
So now we're in Aussie...Yes I got her to pay the plane ticket etc 1st.intending to pay back half. But at the rate things are going...Im planning to pay her back eveyrthing including her share in full. Because of her comment " All I know is that I paid for the......and now....." Iadmit I asked her because I didnt want papa to worrya nd because it would be easier to stay at our relative's house. But I didnt want her to come to be my parent...more to be my encourager...motivator....
But it still hurts to hear your own parent comment in that way that Money could be more important...
And if she means what she said..then it also means that she regret going with me..and if that is so..plau allt eh nagging and "irriated" tone she's given me....I regret it too. There! Ive admitted it!
Im in a way...very dissappointed...
My family is officially "Cui"....Ive never had my mum tell me she loved me since primary school. In fact I distinctly remember her complaining that she had to pay alot of money for my hospital fees long time ago because I was sick with bronchitis. Not that I wanted too and also my fault coz I was too scared to cough out my phlegm...
Yet its sad that I would have to go through this and Its frustrating when the only way I know to deal it is by being defensive and showing her that I am independant...
Very tired even before my interview....looks like this trip has been a challenge in more ways than one....
God Bless
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