reminded of you...

So I bumped into another junior yesterday. its amazing to meet people I knew, in Sydney. This time, I met a junior from SP who quite insensibly reminded me of my ex boyfriend.

Also, during today's rehearsals, I was reminded of him too.

Which isnt a big deal..its just....sigh...

I know this isnt a relapse. Because it feels different.

However, it does remind me of how I don't have someone to share life with. The someone who is a best friend and a lover at hte same time...thats what I miss  the most. And because this particular person is the one whom I thought I could have that with, whenever I feel like I need that, my mind automoatically thinks of a solution. In this case..this automatic solution is him...because he was the last source of it...was being hte key word.

In the worst times...I wonder of I actually do miss him...or i miss the feeling of completeness.... Theres a difference...missing him means the only way to solve it is to get him back. Missing the feeling of completeness means it can be solved if I am able to find another person to share life with.

So thats why its abit of a siigghhhh

Right now, im happy with my production, I feel like its a family gathering in the rehearsal room and I do love it. Unlike hte previous production which made me feel more...judged.

december is coming and i wanna go home. I wanna see people whom I love..I wanna tell them about whats been happening in Sydney. I wanna sit and slack with them and enjoy the sun at a cafe.. starng into space...enjoying the time that plies away without words or activities even...but still feeling fruitful. :) Thats also what I miss.

I feel like a trip to the Esplanade to enjoy the breeze, and hopefully writing a song...something I havnt done for a long time...

I guess the question of what I really miss...will only be answered when I see the solution....

God Bless