saturday!

Nvr been sooo happy that its the weekend! Im getting better so dont worry. Next friday is the show and its very surreal. Cant believe that a year has gone by sooo fast adn the show is finally here! So many things I know I wanna pursue after the musical....

So many frens Ive made and so many whom have previously been my frens but our frenship has gone stronger....

Even through this whole experience.... Ive seen alot more people and learnt how different people can be...Ive seent eh irritating and people whom make me amazed at how they tick...and Ive found people whom impress the socks out of me....etc

Jimmy...He's a genius, a talent....I love him to bits for his character...so charismatic and so....I cant even find words for it!

Cast A....Im not saying all...a handful....drive me to my grave because of their lack of discipline and love for chitter chatter...it amazes me how they can just forget that silence is needed and continue on with their jabber! yet...they can be evry nice people! Its a love and hate situation for me....

Cast B...the truly nice and sweet! Ive found many good and caring frens whom I never hesitate to go for when in need of hugs! They are people whom I can talk to and whom I truly care for and sayang....

Crew....the stressed but loving bunch...I love them to bits too because of how they care for us and look after us!

Band...the music rocks!dont nkow them much except for ian but they are the music makers

Staff...Anna especially hahahah a girl in an adults shoes....She is a rarity to find because she can relate to us and I havnt found a formula to that...

Aside from all this...
For the past weeks, Ive made a fren whom never seizes to amaze me....He has an amzing ability to be caring and considerate to all the girls that he meets...He is a born protector and even born leader and quite honestly...the way he treats all the girls...including me...makes me wish I was in a reltationship. Dont get the wrong idea....He's too young for me and I know my boundaries...once bitten twice shy remember? The scars of the 1st bite is still there.
In fact...its making me rememer my 1st bite even more. Im trying my best not to get into a similar situation as before...which is why I keep reminding myself of the 1st bite...
I see the signs of trouble ahead...similar signs to the 1st time and Im praying that I wont fall again...because if I do....it will be harder...

As for my ex and I....ever since the last conversation we had. we havnt spoken since and much as I hope that we can talk again...even online....I know somehow that he isnt gonna contact me...which hurts..because of the frenship I still wanna have that will waiver even more now...Im never regretting what I said the last time...but...I wish I didnt have to say all that...
I still get small things happening that remind me of him, aside from this new found fren...which Ive managed to persuade myself that they are all meaningless....

Hate to say this...but I even wish someone else wud come and get me out of this predicament! That maybe I wudnt have to go through all this...But so far, God hasnt given me anyone. Maybe there are some out there who used to like me or who knows...even now! But I know they arent the ones...cause I havnt heard anything from God. The chemistry isnt there.... I know the feelings I had when I got to know my ex and if it came to me again...I would never mistake them...because they are one in a million. Hopefully as many as the population in Spore goes, I cud actually find another one in a million? Somehow I know how my Father works...He will geiv me the right one at the right time and right place. By then, time, age, race, religion, nationality might not even be able to stop things...or maybe God will provide a person whom doesnt even require me to worry about all that...coz the person could be a well brought up chinese christian guy is born in spore and abt my age!

Haiz...I know I have to snap out of all this longing shit. You know what....despite all this im sooo glad i have God. I dont know why but when I call his name...I know He's heard it. :) So no matter how many times I tear or get upset or sulk or get angry. I know He's there! Voila!

Hope tog et baptised tomorrow!

God Bless!