Yesterday was a bad day

.......would have blogged yesterday if not for the fact that I didnt have a laptop or PC at home.

Got scolded/advised 5 times yesterday, each one making me feel worse and guilty...my boss, my boss, my finance colleague and etc....

I thought I could forget everything after watching Transformers with my frens but as I waited at Vivo GV, I realized that it was teh freaking wrong theatre...wanted to grab a cab to Jurong to catch as much of the show as possible..but the cab Q was all the way to China...I walked to the MRT...EZLink card low value...EZLink top up machine Q all the way to Africa, a man in front of me was buying tix for 3 people. I got to Jurong East...only to realize it was the wrong theatre again...SIGH..I bought pop corn, drink and hot dog and left the cinema ....I missed Transformers.... Bloody Hell!!! *@#*&

I went home tired, before the show ended and smsed my frens in the cinema that I wasnt going and wasnt in the good enough state to watch whats left of the movie (45mins out of the 2.5hr show)....DAMN

Haiyah...Damn bad la...haizz

Anyway, having deportment class nau...with my SPARC students....damn funny lah Im learning a hellavu lot from it..will blog it later... :P

K gotta go...having fun nau...

Cheers

2 more to 555

damn! I didnt realize how many entries ive written since I started! 553...this is the 554th one...

JUst read my SPARC;s reply abt our future club activites and things we need to do..for the 1st time in my life, I found an email truly entertainnig.The president has a very funny way of writing emails to everyone, that it really sounds like he's saying every word in front of you! Hahahah endearing lah this batch of students....

For the past few days..been having a relapse...wondering why..maybe its cos its his birthday? I missed it while focusing on SPARC&Comperes Camp...was wondering of whether to drop him an email and wish him a great birthday..but I chickened out..Pride maybe...I didnt want me wishing him happy birthday, make him get any ideas...shudnt be aby ideas anywhere anymore...Nor do I wanna expect him to say Happy Birthday to me either...
Yet...I feel evil...evil to keep mum.....He is afterall my best friend rite? Distant and seldom talking best Fren...I smell irony...

Anyway...I was looking throgh all the old compere and sparc files and guess wat?!?!? I found the registration forms of the students in my batch and the consecutive batches...Hahah saw Calista's old picture, Neethiya's old pictures and even julians! hahahah I deem this, COOL SHIT!
Alot of stuff needs to be done on both clubs side...really need help with this...Hmmm

PLUS...was planning to drop a mail to all my students for teh "Help Nng pack her Storeroom like room" Hahahahahahaha

K well...aside from yesterday's fwe drops of tears, Im fine. :D Btw..optician says my eyes abit dry...

Lastly, thank God for my grandma's discharge out of the hospital.. :)

K things to do within this month: Cut my freaking long hair, go to gym more often, take up singing or hip hop dance. :P

All in all in my life, MY GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD! His grace and love for me! Amen!

God Bless!

Granny in Hospital

My grandma is int eh hospital...nowadays, it gets very scary to have such news...

She's got gastric, infections and some bacteria in her stomache etc...

When I went to see her yesterday evening, she was sleeping most of the way....when she needed to answer natures call, the nurse came over, lifted her gown, stripped her of her diapers...so quickly and uninhibitedly done that it irritated me...THIS IS MY GRANNY!

They lifted her to a chair with a hole..you know the rest...

My mum was talking to the nurse bt my granny and how she doesnt feel good doing that int eh chair etc...it wasnt meant to tell the nurse that my granny shudnt do all that on the chair...but just a chat w the nurse. Maybe its me..maybe its the fact that I have the pride like my dad that doesnt like being talked about...so when I put myself in my granny's shoes, think abt how the nurse unapologetically lifted out the gown and removed the diapers, exposing her...and having my mum and the nurse stand in front of her talking abt her...If I was conscious, not groggy, not tired...I wud have been very upset...

My granny has a memory prob..she remembers everything before but doesnt remember the questions she just asked or anything happening within the day. She doesnt even remember that she's at the hospital... sometimes I feelt hat this is bliss...because anything upsetting that she experiences during the day...wont be remembered...

Before I left the ward last night..I prayed for her, prayed for everyone in the ward and prayed for myself...I pray that my granny gets ehr health back...that every sick person n the ward gets better soon and that I get the patience and wisdom to handle this situation...

Pray for her too k.

God Bless

love problems...

My sista smsed me today.. she wanted to talk...seems shes having probs with a stupid fortune teller who said she might 2time her bf...

If I was there, Id slap the fortune teller....or laugh at his face...

Anyway..she's been quite upset since then and wanted to talk to me about it...I tried to get her not to dwell nito this silly fortune teller's words because what he says might not come true...and her questioning herself at such an early stage...is pointless...overemphasizing on it will only cause her to overscrutinize the relationship... :/

Poor sista... I hope she feels the love I felt before...This is the 1st time Ive really seen her cry...and I must say that Ive known her for a long time and seen her grow from a tomboyish girl, to a very pretty confident girl. :) The 1st time I saw her since a long time, I couldnt help but stare at her and look at how she's changed, while listening to her talk... :)

I remember telling God that I wudnt mind not having someone so long as the ones I treasure find theirs... God is fulfillng my wish :)

Got another friend who's flying off next month and thinking of allt he memories we all had , gonna miss her...shes doing her masters! damn! Hahahahah

Alot of things are happening....all Im thankful for is that God is letting things go the right way. :)

God Bless

reminisce...

Post camp days...

Having gone through the camp...I realize theres alot of things we need to change...or do...
- Im considering looking at the year2s to see who are the ones whom are incapable to do duties...I guess its a mistake for some of them to be in and quite honestly..Id rather have those whom are willing, then have those who dont want to do and keep trying to wiggle off it...
- Need to look at attires....some skirts are too long, some too short...its quite ridiculous...
- discipline....attitude

Just dropped a msg in the OLD comperes yahoo group to vent abit of frustration...wondering if anyone actually goes back to read that...am I the only one caught in history?

Theres sooo much that needs to be done for these 2 clubs...Im getting very scared...theres alot more things I need to do aside from this that Im worried of losing attention in my other stuff too...all in all..I need help...HELP!

I guess diong all this brings back alot of very good memories, some not so good as well...I wasnt the most capable of the lot...and Im still not...how now brown cow?

Aside from that..Ive got other clubs to worry about...

God Bless

I need a break...

somethings wrong with me...my body hasnt been doing very well...got a perpetual tummy ache and need to burp....

Lost my laptop yesterday morning...still sour abt that...

My SPARC and Comperes just finished their camp and it seems like a very successful one...for the juniors at least...for the seniors, I feel more work needs to be done...

I told the juniors that they would have to bear with me being bitchy and demanding because its for their own good. abit like Angel criticising me whenever I compered....the greatest achievement for a compere is to be able to compere impromtu..for mine..it was getting angel's approval...sad but true...

Yesterday, the alumni had a whale of a time laughing at the junior's performances...I must say that the idea of having the alumni back was sooo exciting to me that I was over the moon about it! Cal, wendy, carol, shifa, tim, adam and I. :D

I was abit sad to leave the juniors earlier than I wanted but I wanted to be with the alumni as well... :)

This afternoon the SPARC seniors got one of their members to call me and say that he "loved me" It was a punishment/pratical joke/bored and sad attempt to amuse...... :/ Oh watever...kids...

K anyway..gotta run!

God Bless!

Fing wrong timing...

I hate...having things clashing...this time's camp seems to clash w the whole freaking world!

Ive got students who cant come coz their families have this prob and that prob....I have Poly Forum and Leaderhsip Training Camp clashing as well....

Its harder for me to enforce the rules when eveyrone has something they have to attend to....I was quite frustrated and half of me felt like calling the camp off...

I had a chat w the students..both yr1s and Yr2s..in fact the ones that deserve scolding are those who didnt come at all! With no reason whatsoever!

The rest of the Comperes were warning their juniors abt my President and I and how fierce we could be...

Haiz....Im irritated w Murphy....

Anyway...just checked with timothy (SPARC) and it seems that, calista, timothy, timmy foo, shifa, saad, wendy, carol...wohooo!

Im soo darn excited!!! Ive got my baggy shirt and baggy shorts laid out for this occassion..plus my teddy bear is ready for action too :P Cant freaking wait for tomorrow!

Okay okay...aside from tomorrows action, today is my dad's birthday so Im trying my best to leave office early, rush home w a tray of sashimi!!!! Fresh juicy sweet sashimi! :P
Dad objected to sashimi but I insist hahahah silent insisting!

K gotta go back to work! Aye alumni! Remember ah!

God Bless!

SPARC&Comperes

:)

Had a show and tell session yesterday... all the juniors had a chance..they spoke of their most precious posession (in a way) aot of them had their family in mind..shared abt their families and their troubles...alot sharead abt their past relationships...a few cried...most laughed...as usual..the seniors were able to make sad situations funny...

Jasper came back to watch...

when I got sabohed to do it..I could only dot he cliched thing...the thing that meant alot to me...was them....its so cliched that its flawed....but seriously...

I think what hits me most abt SPARC & Comperes..is how much I was able to bond and have soo much fun and find my best frens there....its something I want all of them to have...the seniors this year didnt have a good 2 yrs in SPARC or Comperes or with each other...that being so, them coming together and working it out...has been a huge achievement.... I hope this year...things wud be good....

I really really hope that this year....our juniors can have the bond i had....

Being the officer of these clubs is like...a dream come true...in a way....

Im proud of my seniors...my yr3s...very proud of them.....as for my year 2s....i still worry.....I still worry abt how they cud cause a scar in the bond between the clubs..and how they could cause the reputation of SPARC or Comperes to go down....

Anyway...I also had abit of good news yesterday....my sista is finally attached...we've known each other since sec sch...she's always been someone very independant and mature and level-headed and Im soooo glad that she's found someone. :) As she recounted her happy moments and how they got together....I cant help but smile man! Hahahha but I guess..whenever anyone recounts happy times..I will eventually end up thinking abit abt my own happy times..afterall everything we feel for others is related to how we felt or how we could feel...
Yes I still do remember a few past moments...or rather...Ive kept it at the back fo my mind...and so the feelings were also quite embedded in the back of my mind...
Yesterday's talk brought some of that out...sweet and sour I guess but none that would make me cry again... :)
Whats the happiest thing in this whole experience..is that my sista finally knows what it feels like to be in love...to have someone to love...

God Bless

Its coming! Its coming!

few days back, I flipped the whole house upside down, just to find my songs...my book of songs....didnt find it....2 days back, I took a chance on searching my office and my Moberly counter...I found it at the Moberly counter....My heart started beating again....

Time is getting short...SPARC&Comperes Camp is coming. It is this coming monday till thur morning (i think)

To all SPARC n Comperes Alumni,

13 June is the Big Nite
Theme: Pyjama Partyish
Attire: Pyjamas or home clothes...no boxers, no sexy lingerie...no outlandish attires...
Time: Arnd 7 till late
What to bring : Bring your stuff toy or pillow or blanket etc...

Its gonna be a great chance to get together again guys. :)

Had a sucky event today...Feel sooo bad coz we forgot abt the most important prizes...our hearts did a few flips...My poor compere whom I thought was gonna have a smooth time doing this whole event....was surprised by soo many impromptu moments that I had to help her...

Im sorta wondering how much I can take...sooo much to do man! Im trying to divide my time and make it smoother...less distracting etc....

I sometimes wonder if I am cut out for all this office work shit...maybe Im not...we see how...

God Bless

Wait up man! Why are you running so fast?

Time.....

My office is a bloody mess...(hard drive not connected to lap top..lazy to connect..show you pic next time)

Just got back fromt he library..helluva lot of dvds..that my lap top cant play...blasted format zones...TV is busted, no dvd player....no money...hell ya..im having a "great" time
"sounds like teenage angst"

Anyway..vesak day sucked...Im not a believer of it but even still it sucked coz I had to go back to work to perform. I love to perform mind you...but this time..its got more connotations (non-high frequency-ish" its work, its thinking of relationships, its committement...
Had a tough time getting musical members to help me..seems like a handfull of them pick up their phones to start with....out of the handfull, a pinch of them reply with a "yes"..out of the pinch who said "yes"....1/3 of them quit last minute...well...maybe more like last second...or 1 and 1/2 hours after that...
Facing times like these...I have to wonder whether im the only one who sticks by her committements..or do I. All i know is that when I promise that I'll be there to help a person...when they really really "hell ya" need it...I act on it....or am I a hypocrite.
I so, I was eating my own shoe by the time the performance started. My face was charcoal black and my mood was int he pits...
I guess the only thing that got me back on the track..is that my giving my best, I wud be doing someone proud. its a solemn vow on my end hat someone doesnt know...but my utter respect for the person....I will do it...

This committememnt prob has been bugging me for a long time....in all sorts of ways...my SPARC and comperes juniors have their committement probs....
The "just passed" interview was the time I felt the most crucial in getting peoplewho really meant it..pity is that we didnt have enough time to host 3-4 rounds..maybe then more enthusiastic poeple wud have been given a chance to prove their worth...but now...camp is coming ahead...
I forsee problems (already happening actually) but I forsee victories...I see the standard of both clubs slowly climbing up to greater heights...just by their committement.
In fact...having had all the discussions and talks between members and ex-co and etc...what I see and what they finally realize..is that with true committement....alot of our problems are solved....I can only tell them one thing..."OWN IT"

Since taking on SPARC and Comperes..Ive contantly asked myself if I am being hypocritical or having too high hopes of them...I searched through all my explanations to myself on why I get frustrated easily with them..and why...they seemeso stressed with them.
well guys, theres nothing to be stressed about...lets just say that I see how high you can be....frustration is part of trying to get you guys there....I dont believe that students can only go so far....I believe that where is a will and committement...students can still reach the standard of pros...where professionalism is concerned...it isnt just about having experience, but acting like you can handle experiences...afterall...how does a pro become a pro unless it was an amateur to start with?

This year's Singapore River Raft Race was a moment that woke me up to what Comperes lacked...the guts... I cant say Im as brave as any other guys...but I will say that when I was in comperes, I bit onto any event I was given..some small, some big, some inactive, some exciting and fulfilling... I was a tad bit upset with my comperes because they backed out of a chance to take over the mic from Jeremy Ratnam... As for the juniors..they didnt even bother to come and watch Jeremy and Loretta do the running commentary! It was a yearly chance to see pro in action. The reasons I got form those who were there but didnt wanna try out the mic.... "jeremy and loretta are pros, they've done it for years..how can we match up? "
If they can only see that matching up to their level isnt the point...its trying to match up....that is what I want to see...

That is the goal I want the SPARC and Comperes to see....

- To OWN their events (have committement and responsibility for their duties, discipline)
- To have the guts to try at any given opportunity... failing is no issue
- To find the love in your duty

I sorta wished I was not working in SP when it comes to Sparc and Comperes..not because I dont wanna be with them....but because I want to...more than my regular time...how ironic...

Watched Devdas, Black and Kuch Kuch Hota Hai for the past few days...black was inspirational...the other 2 are silly and sad love stories....

Having trying to search for good movies to watch..I realize that my favourite movies these days always come with elaborate settings and fantasy lands..etc...Pans Labyrinth, Alice in Wonderland, Pirates of the Carribean, etc... I used to like love stories..then they got boring and cliched, classics got to classical, old movies got boring after awhile...even animation can seem..almost allt he same at times....funny how my love for films is starting to move back to non-reality...

ANYWAY...got work to do..see ya...