My thoughts

Had fun having dinner with my ISC year1s. Something abt students inviting me..makes me feel happy. That they regard you of enough a friend to invite you to something they wanna do..to be part of their hangingouts...Maybe its me wanting to be included...maybe its me wanting to stay young...is it? Hmmm

Tomorrow..gonna hang out with my SPARC...bowling and karaoking...but first..I know I have to apologize to my one student whom I feel is more like a sister to me...of which..all of them are my bros & sisters...thats how I feel...

Hung with Adam last last night...had dinner with him and watched Juno. Its weird really hahaha its soo funny how when I first saw him, I thought he was abit *dao" hahahah then we both warmed up to each other fast and since then....became good friends.
Ning: Aye we're supposed to do an event together leh. Can we meet up to write the script first?
Adam: Sure lets meet.
Ning: Aye honestly..Im abit scared of hosting with you leh...Coz I dont know you very well...so I think we should ge to know each other better so that we can at least have the chemistry. Coz I feel you like very serious like that.
Adam: Haha you really dont know me. Im not serious at all lor.
This brotherhood is something I sooo cherish...he's one of my closest bros in SP and I remember how I sorta felt upset abt him starting to smoke...as I did with some of my bros. :) He and Pravin were the 1st 2 peeps I compered with and I will never forget that...dont think I would ever forget the feelings we shared on that event! Wooohooo! as well as in the camp!
So anyway...while having dinner this bro of mine was advising me to go out and make more friends hahaah
Adam: get to know more guys etc....
Adam: You're not young anymore leh!

Hahahaha You know Hope said the same thing! Hahahahah and I say....Que Sara...
Ive casted my worries and troubles of this complex issue to God and confidently wait for God's answer. Dont mistake me and think that Ive stopped looking around...hahaha but I wouldnt bet my money on what I feel alone. :) Did that and it sucked hahahaha
The other point made...was that I treated everyone as bro or sis that everyone thinks Im only interested in siblinghood. :) that I would quickly term everybody into a bro or sis.
Truth? ....
I almost gave up on love at one point...but now that Ive realized that love in siblinghood can be as endearing and as previous as a relationship, I cherish every single one. My priority now isnt finding someone....it is spending time to love those around me as much as I can....the right one will come because My God is behind it..and he will come surely. But while he comes...I dont want to waste my time waiting. I wanna spend my time where my heart should also be...with friends, with family and everything in life worth experiencing...
Listening to Coldplay, Clock. Somehow this song has a liberating feeling..the feeling you get coming out of a cold room..into the warm sunshine..the warmth on your face..as you blaze through the wind..on blades. Almost the same as the feeling I got on the monday after my 1st compereing event...as if I could fly. :) My God my God, my heart beats to many a things....so many of which cant be lilsted down even if I had the world's vocab at my fingertips....of these few things...some of them not only make my heart beat faster...but my lungs expand beyond normal...taking in more fresh air than I can normally inhale...making me lighter. :)
I would say what I just wrote..is something that would describe a person in love....no Im not in love....and if I can feel this without being in love. then it would prove one thing....that the lack of a relationship doesnt make a person miserable....just less lonely at times. :)

Now I recall! As I rode the escalator up just now (Im in Braddell mac now btw) I thought of my sista....Ching. And why? Because tomorrow is sat and the urge to call her up to ask her out is there...yet knowing that she has lessons...I surpress this urge. Maybe Ive been too cruel to refuse to meet on sunday (int he previous times)...leaving her out of the picture. Wel..would it be too late to repent? I know she's stressed with her exam and I would have wanted to tell her that I understand how it feels to have to do something you absolutely hate at this time...forcing yourself to digest notes and etc...for an exam you dont wanna take. something so depressing that you could quite easily cry with exasperation. I understand...
I would also have told her to take a break to meet up with friends..because only then will you not be driven to insanity. And I fear for her mental health..fearing that she would drive herself to depression and sadness and seclusion and (fearing the worst) suicide.... something not entirely impossible. Depression is a terrifying thing that plays with your already complexed mind.
I dont want her to close herself from her friends to the point of now return...coz if not for my friends..I would have ended like that in JC & poly.
So Im determined to stay true to the sisterhood we have..even if she needs time now. I accept that..and I wait by the side for her to get over her exams and look up again. :)
Sister, dont worry...none of us have forgotten this sisterhood we have. it is always there because it was strongly forged during our sec school years...I dont know how but I know its strong and cast in stone. :) Dont forget the collaboration to open a bakery and our plans of a spinster house hahahah
I may not sya this often but sister, we love you loads and we care for you. So no matter how things are...remember that you can always tunr to us. And we may not be the most understanding people but we always have you in our hearts.

God Bless