Church

Its sunday and Im in school. It sucks big time knowing that tomorrow is monday and work is waiting to greet me with open arms...I guess work right now..seems like a rendition of Moses Lim or some ang moh fat dude with buck teeth and potato chip crumbs clinging to his front teeth....Ewwww

I teared in church...friday's and saturday's reality check caught me and I was feeling the contstant dilemma of what to do in life..not to mention singlehood pinches you hard once in awhile. This time, the tears of joy were mixed with a tinge of sadness and throwing everything to God again. I said, "God, hear me. my heart & my soul, I give you control" as the song goes...

Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fails,
Neverending your glory goes beyond all fears....

after the tears...I had an inner peace or maybe inner tiredness...

The 1st thing I saw when I got into my blog, was a comment from a fellow Poly Forum teacher. Havent the faintest idea of how she found me but what she said about my blog being encouraging....huh? Emm Maybe for some I guess. I must say that on the contrary, her comment was what encouraged me. Strange huh. :) Thanks Ivy!

The recently ended Poly Forum was a bag of conflicting opinions for myself and so many other people esp teh students. I watched the students shooting each other during presentations, I held my tongue tight to prevent myself from shooting at them too but the beauty of a forum like this si that when they watch each other get shot, they learn to view things in a full perspective. Their ideas are further scrutinized and through all that QnA etc...the projects are polished and seem more reasonable (compared to their original ideas) I see my students in a better light and I see other poly students in a better light too. Im soo glad to have my bro and sis there (Ian & Francine) and of course all the other SP students I look after. I guess for Ian, Fran & I, this trip is another great way to spend time together. They have been the best of help to me thru the trip.
THANKS GUYS!!!! :D Love you both!

Aside from that, the initial long wait at Harbourfront and constant shifting of places to Q up...was very very irritating. But guess what! The student's leadership skills kicked in! or rather, my "siblings" leadership skills kicked in. Ian and Fran and Ruby and Andrew started rounding up allt he students to shift as a group and while we could have cursed at both polys standing before and behind us, I shut them up and got them to "just do it" Boy am I proud of my students!
*yah roll your eyes around will you!*

BTW, I hate to say this but Ive got students calling me *mum* and *grandma* The only response I gave, raise my head and hands to the sky and cry, "God! Dont let htem do this to me! This is unfair! I dont need to go through this!" And you know what? I think God might have been chuckling...what a sense of humour! Jesus dont laugh!

I wanted to bring my songwriting bk and laptop tp do work but guess I didnt realyl have a chance. I wud ahve enjoyed the trip more had not it been teh fact that I had to do patroling duties etc...forced my "SP staff" identity out and stopped me from having fun w the rest.

The last day was the big day for Ian to present and I must sayt hat if not for him, I wud still questiont he team's presentation standard. He is a good crapper.
The performances and presentations at TP were good and even I cheered for all of them. At teh end of the whole trip I believe that the students from allt he polys have become closer. Of course it always does at the end of the day, esp to those whom work to make their presentation rock solid. I looked at the whole sea of poly students after the whole thing and all I could do was "rock on" hand sign

All in all, I enjoyed the whole trip..inot for reality boxing me and saying,"Aye! Your paper work can build mount everest already lor!"

I guess what is lacking fromt he whole trip, was my lack of chance to really sit down and write my song....or to stand at the railings and feel the wind blow by. Plus...somewhere inside me, I still missed Pravin. Being on a ship where he always wanted...made me think of him and how happy he would be on this ship. I guess had all this happened when we were both together, it would ahve been the best cruise trip..emm best first-time cruise trip for me. Even as I got off on friday, I thought about all this. tyeah yeah yeah I know...get over it..yeah...

Last thing I was glad to have come across through this whole Poly Forum, I met my sec sch junior who is working part-time in TP now, Edmund, and I met my 2002 Poly Forum Facilitator, Samual. I also bumped into another sec school schoolmate, Zhaoyong who was on the same cruise trip. We took some time to sit down and chat through the trip and Im happy for his closeness to God. we taked about God and our problems in Christianity...and how our other schoolmates are doing etc...

Emmm...all these memories..taste like sweet wine in my heart. :)

God, Father....its increasingly saddening to go back to work every monday and I know I havnt beent he best staff and once in awhile I wonder what to do w my life so that I dont feel this way. I know I have to look to you like how Simon Peter looked to you as he walked on water. Daddy, it feels good to see you as my father who can do anything...help me to remember to look to you and trust on you for guidance and wisdom. Help me to understand myself God and understand my way in life that will help me to both find pleasure in work and glorify you.

I believe that I still wanna work with students...with youth, even though they can be a handful...hmmm

Ning