Old Newsflash!

Im officially not the main lead..ie Im not the main actress for my lead role, Ive become the understudy. and a boo hoo boo hoo.

Dont worry about it man, Im okay. In fact, I think in the past year, God has made me so resilient and brave that I would brave a dissappointment in Spore Idol and even this. What I value most in this whole event..is the ability to work with Jimmy and with Babes. :P That is my source of inspiration and comfort. What more, God knows that certain points of my life, Ive been doubtful and worried about certain things and as I cast my worries to the wind and tell Him that I will leave it in His hands, He has always brought me through it or away from it.

Had a really good fren call me yesterday and ask me if Im okay. He told me that I was a very quiet person. In fact..I could call myself a contradiction hahahahaha Im noisy but everythingelse but my own feelings... I tried to explain to my fren that Im really okay and that even though Im quiet about my feelings, it doesnt necessarily mean Im beating myself inside of crying my heart into pieces or steaming my liver to a well cooked state hahahah Im honestly fine not saying anything... Its amazing really...I dont see how people can tell someone everything they feel....I mean EVERYTHING! Every single thing! How do you finish talking?!?!?! Hahahaha As it turns out, my fren has the same tendency hahah to not talk abt his feelings...I admit..its hard to let yourself out...coz sometimes when you do that, the door stays open..you canty close it and last I wanna do is open the bloody door and not be able to close it and poor my feelings out like a tsunami and end up being dependant on a person for an outlet of sort to say what I feel allt he time. scary? Yep! Once bitten twice shy yah hahahahhaha. BUT, if people ask, I would tell. All it takes is a question! Like they say; Ask and Ye shall receive!

I guess Im an entertainer by heart..like a clown...only prettier and smartier and less self destructive inside. As the saying goes; the saddest person is a clown.. note the irony. I speak what i feel will entertain and humour others..not what I feel.

So Im really fine.

As God has it in his plans, or is it Satan, for the past few days, Ive had thoughts about my ex....wonder why....I cant even remember what sparked it! Is it allt he multi-racial couples walking around? hahaha or....I really dont know hahahaha its not event he couples mind you hahahah I just dont get it hahahaha but amazingly..my ex chooses to sms today hahaha Seems he's leaving early Sept. Hmm Im not happy but Im not devastated hahaha But dont worry peeps, as Ive said, Jesus has given me some of his strength and bravery hahaha (i only say "some" coz He has an infinite amnt of it" Yes my ex cum best bro is leaving...sigh..pity

Been thinking alot abt trivial things hahaha like....if the buddhist people in Spore all burnt their joss paper and sticks and throw hell money everywhere, will a buddhist cleaner get angry when she realizes how much she has to clean? Hahahaha

Been stressed lately coz of work...I think I know what its like to reaching the peak period of my work load...I mean REACHING...the peak would be in Sept..I wont break down..but I will be very tired and down hahahah But Ive got God so what will defeat me? hahahahah He has countlessly cleared my path of problems and I can only uncontrollably smile inside and say, "Thank you Father"

K shall stop here....peace out to my bros and sistas over seas and right here, I love you all, no matter where you are dearies but I would be more than happy if you were in Spore :P

God Bless!!!