Ive had a seriously shitty...SHITTY day!

Heres gonna be a very long long blog because ..it jus is! hahaha
Everything wasnt supposed to happen today...in matter of fact, it was supposed to happen tomorrow. I had a confrontation w my ex. I told him all i knew and he blew up. It seems things arent wat i heard and all of it was lies or misunderstandings.....for the whole evning, i felt my world crashing down again as if thje breakup was today. I felt that i didnt know my frens...i didnt know who were my frens and who was telling me the truth....I was in a loss and my hands were shaing terribly that i had to lean my hand on something, to keep the phone to my ear. I was pissed at him bcoz i thought he cheated me...he lied to me..etc and when he got pissed and refused to listen to me (esp feeling that id rather trust others than him) I gave him the 1st pissed tone he ever got from me. I said, " No! You are gonna F&*^KING listen to me! You listen!!!" I gave himt he full blow of my anger! I was sarcastic and blunt and truthful and PISSED! To a point where after that remark, he actually did listen to what i had to say.
BY the end of the night ( I dont wanna go into the details) Everything was clear. Truth is out, allegations made are misunderstandings and...everything is back to normal. I vented everything i waanted to say and i found out everything i wanted to know. Im now at peace with everything. Ive now, officially settled my probs and im on a full speed to recovery.
As for my ex and I, I told him that we will not communicate for awhile to cool things down. I have no intentions of losing him as a fren sot he only way to get back to being best frens or siblings int he future, is if i took time off. :)
As for me and my frens involved...ive forgiven and forgotten. some dont even need to be forgiven because they werent even in the wrong. some, i forgave because my belief is, I will never sacrifice any fren for soemthing so small. Esp those close to me..unless they really cross the line. I spoke to them one by one and told them wat i thought and assured them...I guess there were one or two times that, both of us were close to crying because you can hear it on our voices.
I ended the calls happier. Every call i made, made me happier and stronger.
For the 1st time in months, I really felt like Im okay and really geting better! I feel like everything ive kept inside, is really free now and I can breathe! Ive erally cleared things out w my ex n my frens and.....everything is jus sooo....good!
I dont know how to describe this relief! I jus dont know....Like Im really starting life anew...And the best part of it all, is that I can finally say everything i feel...as in...i dont feel uncomfortable saying the truth to anyone anymore...Ive cleared all my knots...Ive even come to a stage where i can talk my ex in a very very very honest way...like we used to when we were siblings!...Its just soo amazing. Likewise for my frens!! we just got so honest that byt he end of the conversation, we were so affected by each other that...we were speechless! speechless byt he honesty....not knowing watelse to say....I just dont know wat to say to further describe it!
The very last email to my ex for now, is advice...he was a great guy to be with but he had too much charisma for his own good. the times he got paranoid with my being to good to my guy frens, he was also doing the same thing. he treated his gal frens very well also, making them think that he liked them. And yet...also not giving them clear answers. leaving my frens hanging int he air. He's soo smart, too everything and above all, too emotional that he gives too many promises and int he end keeping very little of it. Not because he didnt intend to keep em, but because he couldnt. Thats his flaw...( those who know him, PLEASE drill it into his head! For the sake of all his gal frens. This is a sister's advice)
At the end of the day, Im stronger. Ive learnt a lesson, not to be cautious abt what i hear and evaluate them even if they come from those I love and care for...and i guess ive become more....weary abt what info i get. Anyway, all is over!! Im very very glad!!! :)
For all those i care for, including my ex (no hard feelings), You are all in my prayers. I love all of you and I will always do!!!

LOVE!!! :)
PS: Thank you God!!